The Summer Paradigm Shift
by SimplyKorra
Summary: Penny is falling in love, and emotion she now realizes is a lot like going completely insane.
1. The Distance Decision

**AN/ I would have reuploaded this sooner, but honestly, I couldn't find the damn thing. **

* * *

**The Distance Decision**

**~ May ~**

_Knock, knock, knock._

Gently, Penny opened the door and poked her head inside. It really was what she expected to see, Sheldon on the couch flipping the pages of a science magazine as the silence of the apartment enveloped him.

"Hey," she offered with a smile and he flipped another page before finally looking at her. "You home alone?"

Sheldon nodded slightly. "Yes." He said simply and returned to his magazine.

Rolling her eyes at his short answer, Penny closed the door behind her then shuffled to the couch and sat down. With a heavy sigh, she dropped her feet on the coffee table sharply. She felt Sheldon bristle next to her and rolled her head to the side to look at him. "Is it good?" She asked, hating the silence.

"And you're referring to…?"

Penny gestured at the book. "Your science magazine." She hated sometimes how hard it was to talk to him. There were moments when he would let his guard down and they were quite civil with one another. Even times where they got along, they would argue and sometimes banter but it was in those times that she enjoyed his company most.

Then there was today, when he was clearly moody and seemed annoyed by her mere presence. "it is derivative and wrought with useless information that any first year medical student should already know. It's for simpler minds."

"Hmm… maybe I should read it." Penny said softly as she peered over his shoulder. "I could talk a little science with you guys."

Sheldon eyed her for a moment and shook his head. "It's far too complicated for you, Penny. You would find nothing about this magazine comprehensible."

"Right." She groaned tiredly before running a hand over her face and looking away from him. Damn him and his ability to do this to her. She'd been called stupid before. Half the time the people she served at the restaurant thought she was stupid before they even met her. It didn't bother her there, those people's opinions didn't matter.

His did, he was supposed to be her friend and yeah he acted like everyone was stupid compared to him but she was being irrational and she knew it.

Still hurt though.

"Where are the guys?" She asked, desperate to change the subject.

With a loud exhale, Sheldon cleared his throat and set the magazine on his lap. "They are currently at the bank trying to procure funds for a summer long trip out to New Jersey to visit with Leonard's father. The University out there has accepted them to be temporary lecturers for events and things of that nature. It was very spur of the moment from my vantage point. It's a foolish idea, really."

Penny felt that pang of guilt in her stomach again, they were running away from her and the bullshit she stirred up by getting drunk, again, and waking up with Raj then stumbling out of the bedroom like the whore of Nebraska and ruining everything.

"So you're not going?" She asked, fidgeting with the drawstring of her sweats, suddenly despising the shyness of her voice.

He shook his head. "Absolutely not, the summer is when I do some of my best work. The warm weather and the ability to go to the University and not have to deal with the throngs of students that parade about… these are peak months for me and I won't allow anything to tarnish that."

"Could have just said no, MoonPie." She countered with a smirk and waited.

"Only MeeMaw calls me MoonPie."

Penny felt the smallest hint of victory in her gut. "Right, sorry." And then again the silence fell between them. "So uh… what are your plans today?" Penny couldn't understand why she kept pushing conversation on him. He was so very terrible at it.

As if he were extremely put out, Sheldon picked up his magazine and displayed it to her. "I was reading Theoretical Physics bi-Quarterly."

"Bi-Quarterly? So that means you have some time to finish this one before the next one shows up?" She finished, half expecting him to be impressed with her knowing what Bi-Quarterly meant.

He wasn't. "Penny," he started, condescension laced in his voice. "I have already finished this magazine and am merely going over it to pass the time."

"So you're not doing anything then?" She asked and didn't wait for him to respond before sliding a bit closer to him on the couch. "Let's do something!" She chirped happily.

Sheldon leaned away from her a bit and Penny could have sworn there was guilt in his eyes. "I—I have plans with Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Oh," she deflated and scooted away from him. "That's okay," she said brightly again and stood from the couch. "I should probably do something productive anyway like clean my apartment or… take a nap, I don't know."

"I would suggest cleaning, the last time I was in your apartment I worried I might fall into a pit of entropy."

Penny smiled softly as she reached for the doorknob. "Have fun with Amy, Sweetie."

And she was gone.

Sheldon tossed the magazine on the table and stomped off to his room, suddenly in a very unsettled mood.

* * *

Penny found herself lost in the sounds of the street outside. She had come into her room with all intents of taking a much needed nap but once she lay down, her mind was alive with worry.

They were running from her, from the chaos that she'd caused because they were smart enough to know that they needed to be away from her to repair the friendships she'd tried to destroy.

She needed to stop drinking, it was a plague that brought with it bad decisions and mornings of regret. They were good people and she wanted to be more like them, wanted to be so easy to forgive and move on. But they all had so much more in their lives than she did. They woke up each morning and went to jobs that they loved, accomplished things that mattered.

All Penny had was the satisfaction of sex and relationships to pin her hopes on. So she searched for it in comfortable places because she couldn't fathom returning to the club hopping and late nights in bars where she fought between passing out in a bathroom or naked under a random bedspread.

She wasn't that girl anymore, she couldn't be. Her friends now, outside the boys, were Amy and Bernadette and they were solid, they really know who she was and wanted to know more. The girls she hung out with when she first broke up with Kurt were just as lost as she was. In the stall next to her, talking to the boy she was going sleep with best friend.

When Penny met all of these people, she was so far beyond them when it came to the matters of life. She had lived, she had loved and she had lost. But now, after gently carrying them to the world they were too frightened to enter, they'd all forgotten to keep hold of her hand.

They'd left her behind.

Closing her eyes, she cursed the tears that spilled down her cheeks onto the pillow. Why was she crying? She had a good life here, she had friends, the kind of friends that you really _want _to be around every day.

But she was missing something, a piece of her that she often wondered if Leonard carried. It was a thought that had crossed her mind more often than not. That he took away her carefree mentality, the ability to find comfort in lust and merely see love as nothing more than something that was to come in the future.

She did love him, she _once _loved him but not enough, not what he deserved and because of that she let him go. It isn't that Penny wasn't ready to love him; it's that she couldn't love him the same way he did her.

Rolling away from the wet stain on her pillow, Penny's eyes fell on her small stack of yellow t-shirts and the white under garment that made up her Cheesecake Factory uniform.

She was the longest running employee at that place now, a depressing thought if there ever was. She wanted to leave, she was desperate too but it wouldn't be today, it wouldn't be within a month or probably even a year.

Her mind flashed an image of boats, individual boats that were all carrying her friends to their happiness. While she was barely keeping her head above water, merely content that she could still see them. That she could keep swimming just enough to stay close.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Penny." His voice called to her and she let the familiarity settle her.

Rising to her feet, Penny quickly made her way to the door and waited while he finished. She opened the door with a small smile and saw that he was carrying a box of some kind. "Hello." He offered as he shifted his feet from side to side.

Penny stared at the box, then back to his averting eyes. "Hey, what's up?"

"I," he started but stopped just as quickly and cleared his throat. "Amy had to cancel our plans at the last moment and I was wondering if you would be interested in playing a game of Star Wars Classic Trilogy Monopoly?"

She couldn't stop the soft laugh that bubbled up into her mouth.

Sheldon looked at her with hopeful eyes and she found a strange kinship in the loneliness she saw in them. "I didn't know there was a Star Wars Monopoly, how have we not played this before?" She asked while stepping aside to let him come in.

"Well," Sheldon moved in quick and sat the box down on her coffee table after pushing her jacket off the same spot with his elbow "Wolowitz, Koothrapalli, Leonard and myself have played it numerous times but Leonard was always insistent that you not knowing about this version of the game was for the best."

Penny chuckled before closing the door and locking it. "Huh? Well you know it can't get much worse than Klingon Boggle." She then sashayed past him to the kitchen. "You want some iced tea?"

"Yes, no sugar please." He said before pulling out the board and pulling out the game pieces and little settlements and cities that were meant to take the place of the classic hotels and houses. "Who would you like to be?" He asked while displaying all the silver coated pieces.

She poured a couple of drinks and studied him. "Hmm… Luke Skywalker." She said with a shrug and when she brought him his glass, he was looking at her with a stubborn face. "What?"

"I'm always Luke Skywalker." He said like a child and she rolled her eyes before sitting on the couch. "Don't you think Princess Leia would be more fitting for you?"

Her lips drew into a thin, frustrated line. "Yeah cause me and Leia have so much in common." She took a few of the pieces from his hand and looked them over. "Here, I'll be Vader." She said with a dark glare and a silly smile before setting it on the first space next to Sheldon Skywalker.

Twenty minutes into the game and they were deadlocked. She had all the Star Destroyers which were supposed to be railroads like in the original game but Sheldon was in control of the entire back end of the board, which included the two Coruscant spaces that were normally Boardwalk and Park Place.

Picking up the red and blue dice, she looked at him as he counted his silly paper money with an adorable sense of seriousness and she tossed her dice.

"Son of a bitch," she whispered before moving poor Darth Vader right onto the most expensive space on the board… for the second time.

Sheldon smirked. "Oh you've stumbled into enemy territory again Lord Vader."

Though her face held a steady glare, she was having more fun than she'd had in a good week. "You rigged these dice didn't you?" She challenged and he blanched.

"How could I have possibly rigged the dice?"

Penny started to tap her foot hard against the floor. "When you know the laws of physics, Sheldon… anything is possible."

"True," he said with a small smile that she liked to think was only meant for her. "But I see no reason to cheat a game in which I am clearly the superior player."

"We could always play Halo instead." She said smugly and his smirk faltered into a glare that drew out a toothy grin from Penny. "Roll the dice MoonPie."

He wanted to say it, but didn't because the look on her face said she knew what he was thinking.

The game continued on for a good hour and a half before Penny finally conceded defeat and dramatically knocked her Darth Vader character over while making the breathing noises loudly.

"Another sound victory for the Jedi." Sheldon boasted proudly as he began to put his game away while Penny cleaned their tea glasses and the pitcher.

When she was finished, she looked up at him as he stood with his box in hand again much the same as when he'd arrived two hours earlier. She turned to the clock, it was a quarter after six and they hadn't heard any sounds of the boys returning from the bank. Penny knew they'd most likely gone out and done something else.

"Penny," Sheldon called her name even though they were both looking at one another.

She looked behind her with a faux confused look and then back to him with wide eyes. "Me?" He glared at her, such a sweet reward for sarcasm. "Hmm?"

"After a spirited game of Star Wars Monopoly I was wondering if you would be interested in joining me in a viewing of Return of the Jedi."

That old feeling came back, that feeling of being in that apartment when the others came back and the awkwardness she carried in her wake. "I—I don't know, I'm not sure Leonard wants me around much right now… after Raj and everything."

Sheldon narrowed his gaze on her, not frustration but confusion. "I was not inviting you over on Leonard's behest, I was inviting you over to watch a movie with me, whatever Leonard may or may not feel about such an arrangement is irrelevant. This was a notion which he clearly took advantage of while that dreadful sister of Koothrapalli's stayed in our home."

"Oh," she said softly, a tug at the sides of her mouth threatening. Even when he didn't, sometimes he could make so much sense. "Do you have popcorn?" She asked, already moving to the door.

"Penny." He said flatly, snobbery in his expression but playfulness in his eyes that she found quite sweet. "Not only do I have popcorn, I have Orville Redenbacher Mini Bowls, just as they do at the movies."

She laughed and followed him out the door. "Good."

"Oh and red vines!" He cheered before they walked into his apartment.

* * *

"Do you think he'll be mad?" Howard asked as the three boys moved slowly up the steps to Leonard's apartment.

Leonard in the lead with Howard on his heels and Raj flipping through a comic book he'd just purchased.

"It wasn't showing at a Sheldon approved theater so I doubt it, plus he enjoys his time alone more than he lets on." Leonard said as they rounded the corner.

Raj bit back a small chuckle that drew quick glances from his friends. "What, that sounded dirty, dude."

Howard shivered. "Ew, no… I don't want any images of Sheldon doing… no, picture Bernadette… Bernadette!" He chanted to himself and closed his eyes.

"Oh yes, good call." Raj said with a happy grin only to be swatted in the arm by his friend while Leonard rolled his eyes with a smile as they reached the fourth floor.

He pulled out his keys and stuck them into the lock, just as the sounds of space combat filled their ears.

"Return of the Jedi." They all said at once as Leonard unlocked the door and opened it.

The sounds of the movie grew louder as the door opened and all their eyes fell onto the sofa.

Their feet were just barely touching as Sheldon lay on his side at his end of the couch and Penny had her head resting on the other. They were both sound asleep and that was when Leonard realized the DVD was merely on the menu and it was repeating over and over again.

"Wow, am I the only guy she hasn't went to bed with in our little circle." Howard commented with a snicker that died on his lips as Leonard glowered at him dangerously. "I'm just saying." He mumbled before turning to Raj who was blushing profusely.

Leonard studied her face with deep interest as he took in the sight of her in a gentle sleep. Her features relaxed and calm as she breathed slowly, in and out. "Should we wake them up?" Leonard asked.

"No way, I've heard the horror stories of waking Penny up before she's ready. Do you want to get your throat punched?"

Raj backed away and even Leonard paled a bit. "Maybe you guys should go, I'll just let them sleep out here." He whispered and watched as his friends waved and made quick exits from the apartment.

Once he turned off the television and draped a blanket across the both of them, Leonard knew the best way to rid himself of this terrible feeling in his heart was to go away for a summer. To distance himself from her because she would never be where he was, she was the girl of his dreams. He was just her neighbor and a boy she cared about, but couldn't love.

He wasn't okay with that, it made him angry and want to yell at her, want to hurt her at times as she had him. In truth, her existence in his life had done damage to every relationship that followed his one with her. It's wasn't why Priya left, but it was good reason to why she didn't fight harder to stay.

Leonard didn't want to hate Penny, really he had no right too, but if he stayed this close to her for too long and had to watch her move and laugh and live without him, he would start to resent her.

And he cared about her far too much for that.

Walking up the step to the hallway where his room was, Leonard saw a small yellow post-it on his door. He picked it up and read.

_You left a dirty towel lying on the floor of the bathroom this morning, Strike two._

With a bitter sigh and a glance back to the pair sleeping on the couch, Leonard had to admit that escaping Penny wasn't the only good thing about a summer away from Pasadena.

* * *

Penny woke up in the middle of the night, the living room dark and quiet as she sunk into the warmth of the leather and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. It didn't take long to recognize where she was, she'd slept on this couch a number of times but it was the tickle at the bottom of her feet that surprised her.

Sitting up slowly, she saw his face and smiled. He looked like a diagram that someone might draw on the proper way to sleep on a couch. His head resting on his folded hands, knees tucked up ever so slightly and a pillow under his neck to keep from cramping.

He was so full of crazy that Penny couldn't help but adore the boy. His routines and schedules drove them all insane but he was loyal as hell and to her that counted for something.

Still, she shouldn't be here, she didn't deserve to be here after her last night in here was lying naked in bed with Raj. So she stirred up slowly, quietly as she could and settled the blanket back down on the couch and silently thanked Sheldon for keeping her company by kissing her palm and gently resting it across his hair.

The hallway that separated their apartments was cold and with each step she could, the sleep in her eyes faded. Once she made her way back into her own home, she eyed the clock, it was 11:26 and her apartment was feeling very claustrophobic.

She scurried into her room and found her cell phone on the nightstand, she had one unread text from her mom reminding her to call her sister for her birthday. She made a mental note and started flipping through her contacts.

She found the one she was looking for and started typing.

_Hey Amy, long shot but U aren't still awake r u?_

Putting the phone back on the table she sat on her bed.

Penny wanted to do _something, _anything but sit in this house all night and think because to hell with losing her mind in the silence.

A moment later her phone buzzed and she lit up with excitement.

Reaching over quickly, she grabbed it.

_Of course, I am mostly nocturnal, why are you still awake? Do you require a late night phone chat? I can call you?_

A smile rolled across Penny's lips at the message, she couldn't help but realize that this girl would do anything for her. She'd had a boatload of friends growing up, she had her boys now and Bernadette, but Amy was different. She couldn't explain it, but she appreciated it.

With a skilled precision, she texted back.

_U want to go out? I know its late but we could do something fun._

It wasn't a minute later that her phone buzzed again.

_Be there in 30_

Then Penny was up and in the shower.

It was nearly midnight when Amy knocked softly on her door. Penny jumped over a small stack of magazines and answered. "Hey you… whoa… looking fierce Amy!" Penny said before stepping aside and letting the other girl in.

Amy was dressed in what Penny could only assume was an experiment for her. A shorter skirt, well short for Amy which meant it stopped at her knees, and a slightly low cut black t-shirt that showed the absolute faintest hint of cleavage and a light jacket to cover her arms.

"Yes, I'm hoping to catch some serious ogling in this outfit. Perhaps I can lure myself in a man by showing off a bit of leg and reeking with the scent of 'free milk' as my mother used to put it."

Penny laughed a bit awkwardly but nodded nonetheless. She started for the door after grabbing her clutch purse but Amy was still in the apartment, watching her.

"What?" The blonde asked, turning around hastily.

"Is that what you're wearing?" She asked and Penny offered a slightly offended face and gave herself the once over. She'd gone relatively simple, a pair of low cut jeans and a long sleeved black shirt that hugged her curves well enough but didn't show much skin. "No offense bestie, you still radiate like the sun but let's face it… I'd have to say of the two of us, I'm displaying the goods with a bit more thunder tonight."

Sighing slightly, Penny lowered her head with a shy smile and shrugged. "I'm not really up for… displaying any thunder tonight. I'm not looking to meet anyone; I just wanted to get out of the apartment." Penny then glanced up at her friend who was not-so-subtly trying to display more cleavage. "Besides, what are you doing flaunting all that, what about Sheldon?"

"Oh Sheldon is still an option but my aching pelvis can't wait while he tries to rearrange his schedule to fit in a little poke and tickle." Penny laughed and Amy again looked down at her chest. "I haven't exposed this much of myself since the girls took my clothes during the junior high pep rally and I had to cover myself with our mascots outfit and run through the gym."

Penny furrowed her brow. "What was your mascot?"

Amy sighed. "We were the ants, so all I had was the exoskeleton of a very small boy who played our mascot, I remember he had a very serious case of narcolepsy and would often pass out in costume and have to be treated for heat stroke after the games."

"And they still let him be the mascot." Penny asked with slight concern as they exited her apartment.

The dark haired girl nodded and started to walk, rather uncomfortably, in her high heels. "Oh yes, the local news station did a very dramatic piece on his condition, if they'd have taken it from him after that they may have started a riot."

Penny found herself absolutely disconnected from the raucousness of the club. She quietly stirred her gin and tonic that she'd taken a single sip out of and watched as Amy danced with an awkward looking young man with an overgrowing beard but a cute smile. He was shorter than Amy, which meant he was about five inches shorter than Penny.

This really wasn't what she was hoping for upon going out and it was entirely her own fault. She couldn't make herself dance; she didn't really want to leave the stool. She was sad, she just couldn't understand why.

Amy returned when the song ended, sweating and grinning from ear to ear as she pulled up a seat and took a drink from her martini.

"Woo!" Amy cheered giddily over the new starting song. "Did you see that little foreign boy trying to keep up with me; it was like he was shaking it for a green card out there!"

The blonde laughed and nodded as stray bits of her hair cascaded into her face. "He seemed into you, did you get his name?"

"No," Amy shook her head with a sigh. "If it's meant to be, he'll come back to me." She finished airily.

Again Penny smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes and the ever observant Ms. Farrah Fowler didn't miss a beat. "Are you okay?"

Penny looked up as if she'd been caught stealing cookies. "I—I… yeah, I'm just not into the dancing but this is fun."

"Did you get another drink?"

She shrugged. "No, still my first."

"Is it unsatisfactory?" Amy prodded; worry in her eyes that Penny both appreciated and wished would go away.

"No, it's fine, I'm just," Penny pursed her lips and hesitated. It would be easy to unburden herself but the truth was… she didn't know why she felt so lost. She was no different than she was last month and then she was doing fine. She hung out with her friends and laughed and smiled, Amy was burrowing her way into her heart and was virtually there now, so why was she feeling so… incomplete. Making sure she used every dime she spent on acting classes, Penny smiled brightly and stood. "This place is kinda dying out, you wanna go back to my place and watch trashy reality shows from my TIVO?"

Amy grinned and downed the rest of her drink before standing. "Those shows really are tremendous displays of human emotion, great for studying and research, plus it's fun to watch other people have shabby, disastrous lives."

* * *

Penny woke up on a couch for the second time in the past twelve hours and groaned at the cramp in her neck before sitting up and yawning heavily. It was Saturday, she didn't have to work today and that was good because she was pretty sure it had to be well past noon.

Amy had went home a little after three and Penny sat up for another hour before falling asleep in her living room while fighting not to buy a food chopper they were selling on TV. It was only $19.95 but as if she could even afford that. Money was pretty tight but she was making it for the most part. She may have to miss her cable bill today, and a meal or two but for the most part she could make it to her next paycheck.

After taking a long and much needed shower, Penny changed into a pair of Hello Kitty shorts and a pink t-shirt before rummaging through her cabinets for any coffee but they were bare. "Shit," she cursed, it was nearly one so the boys wouldn't have any coffee either.

Knowing there was a Starbucks about a mile away; Penny put on her favorite blue hoodie and started out the door. However, the moment she stepped outside, Leonard did as well with a suitcase in hand.

"Oh," he stammered and looked down to the large bag in his right hand. "Hey."

Penny shuffled awkwardly from side to side. "I didn't think you were leaving until Monday."

"Yeah we're not… but we're all meeting at Howard's before we go so I'm just taking my stuff there today to save on loading it Monday."

Suddenly forgetting where she was going, Penny backed up against her door and took a long breath. "Are you… mad at me?" She asked, hating the way her voice sounded. She had nothing to feel guilty about, yes she ended up in bed with Raj, yes he was Leonard's friend but dammit he had moved on way before she did.

"No, I'm just… tired of feeling the way I do." He took a few steps closer to her, knowing this was the conversation they were supposed to have at some point. He thought maybe she was trying to avoid it, or maybe he was.

Still, they were having it now and it needed to happen. "How do you feel?"

"Like I still want us to end up together but… I know we're not going too."

Letting her head fall a bit, she nodded and drew up her courage in a small smile. "I do care about you Leonard… but I don't… I can't love you the way you need me too."

He nodded a little too quickly. "I know, I get that and… I'm just grieving a little over the loss of what I thought we might have. Going away, seeing my dad and hanging out with the guys in a Sheldon-free environment is something I really think I need."

"Getting away from me you mean?" She said in a light, self-deprecating tone. He gave her a sympathetic look but she waved him off. "I'm kidding, I understand. Some time apart might be good for us to get back to where we were." Penny wanted to hug him, it was in her nature but she held back and merely smiled toothily at him.

Leonard laughed and grabbed his bag up again but kept his eyes on her. "You'll look after Sheldon while we're gone right? Make sure he doesn't starve or burn the apartment down or… you know build a giant killer robot."

Penny chuckled. "I'll look after him, plus Amy will be around I'm sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Leonard said slightly and then finally moved to the stairs. "I'll keep in touch while we're gone." He said, both of them knowing he wouldn't.

"I have a double shift tonight so I probably won't see you guys before you go. Give my best to the others and I hope you guys have fun."

With quick goodbyes, Leonard was gone down the steps and Penny stood in the hallway feeling the loss wash over her.

Pushing all thoughts of Leonard away, she shuffled to the door of his apartment and knocked twice before opening the door. Sheldon was sitting at his desk on the computer typing away furiously. She was amazed at how quickly his fingers could glide across the keys.

For some reason, Penny finds comfort in the consistency of him. The light green shirt over the gray undershirt with the sleeves rolled up and his brown chinos. He never changes, he'll be the same while the boys are gone and she is quietly grateful for that. He's absolutely crazy and will most likely drive her to a homicide/suicide by the end of August but for now… she's happy to see him.

"Hey," It took him a moment to finally look at her.

"Hello," He said a bit distractedly before returning to his work.

Penny shut the door behind her a little. "I was going to go to Starbucks, you want to come?"

He stopped in the middle of his typing and leveled a look on her that was part confusion and equal measure of irritation. "Penny you know I don't drink coffee, not after I woke up on a park bench in my Flash costume."

"I know, but they do have those little black and white cookies you love. My treat." She said and immediately regretted it. She was already dipping into her own money to buy a coffee and now she was offering him treats.

She really was desperate for company.

Sheldon pondered for a moment and sighed. "I do love those cookies." He rose from his seat. "Very well, have you had the engine checked in your vehicle?"

"Yes," she said, it was true, Bryan from the Cheesecake Factory looked at it, he told her that her alternator was about to go out, he didn't fix it, but he looked so it wasn't a lie.

"And the seat belt isn't sticking anymore because that is extremely unsafe."

Penny sighed as they exited his apartment and started down the steps. "I'm sure it'll be fine,"

"I hope so as your car will need to be in top shape if you are to drive me to work every morning over the summer." Sheldon finished as if it were the most casual thing in the world.

When they reached the lobby, Sheldon stepped in front and opened the door for her. This threw Penny for a loop as she walked out and almost missed what he said.

"Thank you… wait, I'm driving you where now?"


	2. The Experiment Execution

**The Experiment Execution**

"Six is up!" The cook called and Penny moved from her spot leaning against the freezer door in the back and picked up the two plates of food. She expertly balanced them on her forearms and backed out the door to the dining area.

It was a quiet night, a Tuesday which were usually the slowest day of the week and she enjoyed these days because she was getting paid to do very little.

Penny never thought much of how stagnant her life was; really it was better not too. Yeah she was still at the Cheesecake Factory and yes she hadn't had a decent acting job since her hemorrhoid commercial that had just recently been taken off station rotation. But she was still going to auditions, she was still trying and for the most part that was enough.

She was good at this job, having done it for almost seven years now. It paid the bills and kept her out here in Pasadena, chasing her dream, chasing… something.

"Here you go." She said with a bright smile as she set down the pair of cheeseburgers in front of the middle-aged couple that looked as if they'd just had a rather intense argument with one another. The man was glaring in Penny's general direction and the woman was smiling with a great deal of fallacy.

"Thank you." The woman said as she lifted her napkin onto her lap.

Penny nodded and pulled out her pad. "Can I get you guys anything else?"

"We're good," the man grumbled before lifting his burger and taking a huge bite.

With that, Penny shuffled away with a promise to return and moved to the next table in her rotation.

That was when she saw him, sitting alone as he scanned through the menu even though he wouldn't dream of ordering anything else. With Bernadette going with Howard to New Jersey, it was nice to see him here today; it made her feel as if she weren't in some strange city. She had at least one familiar.

"Good evening, Dr. Cooper." Penny said happily as she rested her hands against the chair that sat on the opposite side of the table.

Sheldon lowered his menu and offered her a tight smile. "Hello, Penny."

"Eating alone?" She asked, reaching up to push a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Actually no, I'm waiting for Amy… she should be here any moment."

Penny's brow furrowed. "She's not here, how did you get here?"

"I took the bus," he answered quickly. "Despite my disdain for the public transportation in this city, I, as a superior being, am nothing if I cannot adapt."

It was hard for her to really accept his words, as if Sheldon Cooper had ever adapted to anything. He certainly hadn't when to the people in his life. Apparently adaption was only possible when all other options were null and void. Besides, his coming here wasn't adapting, adapting would be sacrificing his precious schedule because he was unable to complete it.

Sheldon wasn't adapting at all, he was just desperate for the stability that he'd lost with his friends going away.

"You do make those denim skirts work with that rockin' behind, Bestie!" Amy's voice filled her ears and even though the words made her uncomfortable, it was a pleasant sound.

Penny turned to see Amy approaching the table, back in her usual attire of long dresses and sweaters. Already there, Penny pulled the chair back and moved to the side of the table as Amy sat down. "Thanks sweetie, what can I get you two to drink?" Penny said as she saw her manager and knew he wasn't a big fan of the extended time she always took at this table when these people were here.

"I'll have lemonade." Sheldon said without falter.

Amy folded open her menu and started to hum. "Is it too much to follow up a night of inebriated dancing and drinking with a margarita?" She asked Penny.

The blonde shrugged. "If you want a margarita, I'll bring you one." She finished with a smile.

"Margarita it is."

"Okay," Penny nodded. "I'll be right back."

"You went dancing last night?" Penny heard Sheldon say as she made her way to the bar.

Bryan was working the bar tonight, he'd always said it was the only tolerable job he could handle here. For the most part, Bryan was a good looking guy. He was 24, two years younger than Penny. He had messy, dark blonde hair and a relatively charming smile. His eyes were what drew most of his prey (girls) to him though. He had a squint, a broody glare that penetrated his dark eyes into whatever he was after.

Penny found him attractive sure, but he'd also slept with half the staff here and she wasn't about to be a notch on that bedpost.

"Hey sexy." He said with a smirk. That didn't mean he hadn't tried with her. "What can I get you?" He asked, taking the flirt out of his voice and readying himself to mix a drink.

"I need a margarita and lemonade."

He looked past her to the table she'd just come from, he'd been here long enough to know that when the geeks came in, that was Penny's table. "I didn't see the Indian boy comin' in… who's ordering hooch?" He noticed only the back of the tall one's head. "Not Spock?" He looked scandalized.

"Oh God no… his… date." Penny said awkwardly, she didn't know how to describe that relationship, she certainly didn't have enough time now.

Bryan then found himself leaning over even further to get a look at the table, he nearly fell over in his attempt. "Wow… they kinda fit right, like a loser convention."

"Watch it," Penny warned as he started to make the drinks. If there were any two people in the world that Penny would stand up for, it was Sheldon and Amy. They were only themselves and for that they deserved to be praised, even if Amy could be blunt and Sheldon could be horridly aggravating, they never warranted any malice.

However, her comments didn't draw Bryan back, they just made him look at her shrewdly. "Easy, I'm not about to poke the bear. Everyone knows you don't fuck with the geek table."

Penny rolled her eyes as he finally handed over the drinks. Taking them, she glared at him. "You're damn right you don't."

It took her only a few strides to return to their table where Amy was talking joyfully about her experiments.

"It was particularly interesting because when I offered Ricky an electronic cigarette replacement… he refused it like Mrs. Wolowitz at a salad bar." Amy completed just as Penny sat the drinks on the table. "That boy behind the bar was watching you the entire time you walked over here."

Turning slightly, Penny saw Bryan wink at her before turning his attention to a patron at the bar. She groaned and focused back on the table but noticed that Sheldon was looking towards the bar as well, his gaze lingering on Bryan a moment longer.

She smiled shyly when he looked at her in focusing back to the table. "Okay… so barbeque burger for you I'm sure." She looked to Sheldon and he nodded curtly. Penny then focused on Amy. "What can I get you, Sweetie?"

"I'll have the Cobb salad, gotta keep this booty tight am I right Sheldon?" Amy's voice carried a slight bit of hope in it as she eyed him.

Typical, Sheldon looked at her with absolute indifference. "If that's your priority I would say you could eat the steak and lobster tonight then schedule a round of liposuction at any number of plastic surgeons who make their living in the city of Los Angeles and end up with the same results as a lifetime full of salads and fruit."

It was easy to miss and would have been if Penny hadn't been watching so closely, but Amy saddened for only a moment before pushing up her glasses and letting her expression flatten.

"I think you have a great booty, Ames." Penny added with a smile before trotting off to put in their order.

Sheldon could be such an ass, even though she knew it was rarely intentional.

* * *

Cursing as she reached the top step and found herself still shivering, Penny ran her hands through her hair and clutched her jacket tight. It had started raining around midnight and though it was fun to watch the lightning while she drove home, she was only out of her car for a good twenty seconds and the heavy falling rain had soaked her.

Just as she was about to make the turn for her apartment, she heard a noise from 4A and immediately knew something wasn't right. Dr. Schedule was never up this late.

Staring at her keys for a moment and then her apartment door, she turned on her heel and knocked.

It didn't take very long for the door to open. "Hey Sweetie," she cooed as the door opened and displayed a disheveled Sheldon. His hair was a mess and in his plaid pajamas she knew that he'd attempted sleep and failed.

"You're wet." He commented sleepily.

Penny smiled slightly and glanced down at herself. "Yeah, it's coming down pretty hard, why are you up at two in the morning?"

"I believe it would be for the same reason that you're shivering." When he stepped away from the door she hesitated for a moment before stepping inside.

"So the storm is keeping you up?" She asked but tilted her head to the side in confusion as he started down the hall towards the bedrooms and ignored her. Now standing alone in his living room, she took a step back to make her exit but stopped when he reappeared with a green towel in his hand.

With long strides he was next to her. She gratefully took the towel and ran it over her hair.

Sheldon returned to his spot. "Yes, the thunder and lightning, though simple acts of nature, have successfully ruined my allotted eight hours."

"Honey you've slept through plenty of storms before, worse ones than this." Penny moved closer to where he sat, the towel wrapped around her shoulders as she watched him shy away.

"Apparently my… concerns, no matter the irrationality of them, are greatly increased by the fact that I'm currently alone in the apartment." He was embarrassed and she could tell but for some reason, as it always was with him, she found it sweet.

Licking her lips, Penny slid down onto the couch next to him and folded her hands on her lap. "I don't really like the thunder either." She whispered and he looked at her with questioning eyes. "I used to sleep on the second floor and I always knew that if it ever hit the house, it was going to get me first. Most of the time I'd run to my parent's room and sleep with them."

He cast his eyes to the floor. "I attempted to find refuge with my parents during a storm once when I was six. My father told me to stop being a baby and sent me back to my room."

Through her time with him, Penny knew that Sheldon's relationship with his father was strained at best; she honestly didn't enjoy hearing much from Sheldon's past. Most of it consisted of him being outcast and forced into things he didn't want to do. Sure Penny pushed him at times, but she would never belittle him or scare him.

She thought herself more of a protector for him, knowing full well that if it the situation were too far gone, he would do the same for her.

Following her yawn, Sheldon cleared his throat. "I appear to be keeping you from what is clearly a much needed sleep. You have bags under your eyes and your face is an off-white pale that is a clean sign of fatigue. You should rest."

"Well what about you, you can't stay up all night."

He shrugged. "I've done it before." There was no hint of worry in his voice but Penny couldn't help but notice how exhausted he looked. His hair a mess and she could tell that he was frustrated at his own childish fears by the way he kept looking away from her.

Battling her own war against sleep, Penny reached over and laid the palm of her hand against the side of his head, losing her fingers in his tousled hair.

Sheldon eyed her oddly, clearly taken aback by her touch. She pulled away but kept her smile. "I'll worry about you up all night, you'll be a wreck for work tomorrow." That was when she remembered she had to _take _him to work. "Jesus, Sheldon it's two-thirty and we're still up, there's no way I'm going to get you to the University on time!"

"I assumed as much, given your current schedule of swing shifts at the Cheesecake Factory, I've taken it upon myself to arrange other means of transportation."

Her mouth fell open; she couldn't imagine him suffering through the bus. "How?"

He sighed. "I've… decided to pay… Kripke," he said the name as if it physically pained him. "To come by in the mornings on his way into work and pick me up. In exchange for my money he's promised to refrain from speaking in my presence."

"Oh, Sweetie I could still take you sometimes." She said softly and he nodded.

"Yes, I know and I've told Kripke that if I text him "NO" then he is not to pick me up, those will be the days you are available to drive me. Lord knows I'd rather spend fifteen minutes in that death trap car with you than the same amount of time in Kripke's vehicle." Again he looked at her, something gentle in his deep, blue eyes. "You need to rid yourself of those wet clothes, you'll catch cold and then I'll have to shun you from the apartment."

Sighing with a reserved smile, Penny pushed up to her feet and nodded. She really was cold. "Okay, I think the storm is passing anyways."

"You're right." He said, standing as well. "I will see you tomorrow I'm sure, Penny."

With the brightest smile she could muster, Penny offered a goodnight and made her exit.

As Sheldon finally curled back up into his bed that night, his phone buzzed with a text message.

He checked it in the dark of his room.

_Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur, pur, pur…_

_G'night, Sheldon_

_~ Penny_

No one was around to tell Sheldon he was smiling as he finally went to sleep.

* * *

"I'm gettin' too old for this shit." Penny mumbled as she mimicked Lethal Weapon, of course it was on cable so they bleeped out the curse word and whenever that happened on anything she watched, Penny made sure to fill in the blanks.

It was a little past noon, Sheldon was gone and she had to go to work in four hours for another 4 to 2 shift. The swing shifts were tough because they basically took her out of the functioning world. She didn't have enough time to really spend her day with anyone or do anything. Penny liked to sleep so even now, being up this early after a swing was surprising.

So she decided to clean and watch one of her favorite movies. With her Swiffer duster in hand, she swiped it over all her table tops and windowsills. Penny found herself in a surprisingly good mood considering she'd quietly admitted herself last night that she was in a massive rut. She hadn't had an audition since her hemorrhoid commercial that was _supposed _to be her big break. Her job was becoming absolutely secondary, to the point that her mind didn't even have to function to make her body move through the motions of it and she was about as single as a person could be without being lost at sea.

Hell even Sheldon had more going on in his social life, whether he acknowledge it or not he did have dinner with a woman last night.

That drew her thoughts to him and his state last night. He was oddly vulnerable as the storm rolled through Pasadena and Penny found herself going to sleep worrying about him. She'd even texted his silly song to him in hopes that it would make him feel better. She knew it probably didn't, she was shocked he didn't text her back with a reminder that he wasn't sick.

Still, she hoped he slept well enough to get through his day. Trotting into her room for a bit, she pulled her phone from it's charger and swiftly texted him.

_U sleep okay?_

After she sent it she felt silly. Why it bothered her so much she didn't know but a part of her realized that he hadn't lived alone in a long time and though this was a grown man who, judging by his financial state, could clearly do a better job of independence then her, she was drawn to take care of him.

Penny found herself oddly intense as she continued to do her chores but constantly looked back to her phone to check for a response.

One didn't come, but a knock on her door did. Muting the television, she moved to her door and checked through the peephole before opening it quickly. "Amy? What are you doing here?"

"I am here to divulge you with what I remember the teenage girls in my school called 'girl talk'."

The blonde stepped aside as Amy walked in hastily. "Okay, but shouldn't you be working?"

"Lunch break, I hauled my butt down here because I absolutely had to tell you about my dream last night."

Shutting her door, Penny made her way across the living room and into her kitchen. "Alright, you want anything to drink? I'd offer you food but," she then revealed the emptiness inside of her refrigerator.

"I'm okay, I ate while I was driving, despite the warnings from officer Dave in those warning films they'd show us in school that started with a bright young girl sipping coffee in her car only to be brutally killed in automobile accident." She then proceeds to sit on the couch for only a moment before standing again. She was pacing, she was nervous and so Penny crossed the room and stopped her. "Sorry, "she muttered with a shy smile. "I just had a wonderfully erotic dream, you were there!" She boasted and Penny pursed her lips and took a step back.

"I—I was there?"

Amy nodded boisterously. "Yes, giving tips and for some reason you were able to play the violin… it was odd, you don't play the violin do you?"

"Uh," Penny shook her head. "No."

"Darn," Amy grumbled but her smile stayed intact. "Anyways, I was engaging in intense sexual intercourse with Sheldon, though it was really just his body, when he spoke he sounded a bit like Sean Connery. Anyways, when I woke up I was flushed and my heart rate was through the roof and it made me realize that I am ready to lure Sheldon to the bedroom."

In that moment, something sunk down hard on Penny's chest. She thought for a second that she might be having a heart attack as she stepped back and found solace in one of the stools by her counter and sat down.

It faded just as quickly and Amy, in her joyed state, didn't seem to take notice.

Penny smiled. "That's going to be tough, what with him being crazy and all."

"I'm merely going to put on a sexy outfit and some equally enticing undergarments and then attack him like the German's invaded Poland!" Amy clapped her hands and bounced over to where her best friend was sitting. "I was hoping you would help me reach the proper level of sex appeal that most men find desirable. I'm certain I won't be able to carry it like you do, hell you're wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt that would fit on my father and yet you still look undeniably sexy."

Closing her eyes with an embarrassed look and an awkward laugh, Penny nodded while grabbing Amy by the shoulders. "Of course I'll help you," Penny checked the wall clock to her right. "I have to work in four hours though and I'm sure you have to get back."

"One moment," Amy said before she shuffled away to the opposite side of the room and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed a number and waited for only a moment. "Yes, this is Amy Farrah Fowler, I'm afraid I won't be able to return to work today…," a few seconds passed. "Yes, I'm afraid I've come down with a serious case of bowel issues and my presence would only endanger those who wished to use the facilities in the biology department." Penny couldn't help but cringe as she shook her head. "Very well, goodbye."

Amy then looked at the blonde expectantly. Penny threw her head back with a genuine smile and stood. "Let me change." As she shuffled to her room, Penny grabbed her phone and saw one unread message.

_Your text message last night was helpful_

Penny grinned widely as she stepped into her closet.

Twenty minutes later they were at the mall. Penny had her mind racing as it always did in a place like this only now she was trying to focus her energy on Sheldon. "Okay… there," she pointed to a memorabilia shop a few clicks away and started for it.

"Um," Amy stammered and hesitated. "Shouldn't we be going to a Victoria Secret or something of that nature for this? I'm quite certain that sexy bras and panties far outweigh Spiderman costumes and power rings when it comes to the male libido."

Penny stopped and looked back with a sly grin. "Have you ever known Sheldon to take any interest in that sort of thing?" Amy shook her head. "Exactly, you have to reach Sheldon on his level and what does Sheldon love? Comic books, so instead of getting you normal sexy, we get you geeky sexy."

For the most part it went exactly as Penny wanted it too. She found Amy a few shirts with various super hero emblems on them. They were tight fitting and displayed her curves quite nicely. Penny even suggested Amy buy him a comic book to offer when she made her approach. Amy was planning on being aggressive and even though Penny didn't see the plan working, she was willing help because she cared for Amy.

It was while Amy was checking out that Penny saw it on the rack. A simple t-shirt that was small and would fit her snugly and it was something that wouldn't go with anything in her wardrobe but… she was drawn to it.

_I'm in love with the fastest man alive_

Those were the words written across the red shirt in yellow lettering. Below it was a familiar lightning bolt that brought a strange sense of warmth to her.

Penny was about to put it back on the rack but found herself unable to. The idea of not owning it was oddly unsettling, it was cheap enough anyways… would be a good shirt to wear over to the guy's apartment one night when they all came back.

Yeah, they'd get a kick out of it.

"Yeah," she whispered before holding it to her chest and walking to the checkout.

* * *

_Bad idea_

It was a simple text that Penny received around ten o'clock that night. Amy's complete lack of extra information was unsettling to say the least. Even when she was frustrated with her work or her mother she would always go into immense detail.

Now though, a simple two word message spoke volumes.

Penny kept on her smile when she bought six plates of food to a traveling family before she returned to the solace of the kitchen and started typing.

_What happened?_

Again Penny had to serve a few more tables as she waited for her response. They were crazy busy tonight and her tips were actually piling up quite nicely, she might even be able to afford those shoes she'd seen while shopping with Amy, the ones she had to practically drag herself away from to maintain focus.

Eventually her phone buzzed and because of that the table with an older man by himself had some fairly shoddy service as she nearly spilled the coffee she was pouring him. So she smiled and flirted a little to try and salvage her tip.

Not her proudest moment but neither is eating crackers and peanut butter for dinner.

Finally catching a break, she pulled out her phone and saw a long message waiting her.

_I went in guns blazing and tried to seduce him with a comic book but he asked me what I knew about it and the silly lantern on my t-shirt and when I couldn't answer right he started explaining it to me, so I pounced on him and he threw me out of the apartment. I apologized to him and he accepted but told me to keep my distance for a few days because I'd made him uncomfortable and that he was clearly NOT interested in me in that way, he merely enjoyed my company…_

_Thank you anyways for the help, Bestie_

Penny scowled at no one and felt an overwhelming urge to punch Sheldon right in the goddamn throat.

_I'm sorry, sweetie. Ice cream and wine tomorrow night, okay?_

She was upset the rest of her shift and her tips suffered for it.

By the time it ended she was worn down, her feet hurt and she had a massive headache.

It was quiet in 4A which meant that Sheldon had most likely found his usual sleep pattern tonight. She was aggravated with him, she wanted him to find something good in his life and Amy was something good. She really cared about him and was attracted to him and…, he just couldn't stop fucking it up.

With a heavy sigh, Penny chose to let it go for the night and made her way home but stopped at the sight of a yellow sticky note on her door.

Plucking it off the wall, she read it.

_Forcing Amy Farrah Fowler onto me tonight was unpleasant. That's a strike._

_Dr. Sheldon Cooper_

Sucking on her teeth, Penny crunched up the note and stuck it in the pocket of her uniform before quickly entering her apartment. She grabbed the guy's spare key from the bowl and stomped back across the hall.

She unlocked the door quickly and made her way inside. It was dark and oddly serene inside, as if she were looking at this immensely familiar place upside down, it looked strange so empty.

Ignoring her recently wandering mind, she charged down the hallway and didn't bother to knock on his door. She stepped inside and found him sleeping on his back with one hand on his stomach and the other hanging off the bed past her field of vision.

Penny walked right up next to his bed and called his name. "Sheldon." Nothing, so she tried again. "Sheldon!" She hollered this time.

"Danger!" He shouted and before she could react he was using the arm hanging off the bed to swing something large at her.

The impact of the plastic lightsaber knocked her back into his dresser where she slipped on a fallen toy and fell hard to the floor.

When she regained herself a little, she saw him standing over her, hosting up his unlit weapon. "Penny?" He asked, recognizing her and putting his arms down.

"What the hell, Sheldon?" Penny groaned before pushing herself up and rubbing her sore back and forehead.

Immediately he dropped his plastic toy and shame ran across his face. "I—I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, my mother told me to never strike a woman… I apologize profusely." He said before reaching down to help her up.

His touch was surprisingly gentle as his fingers laced around her forearms to lift her. She looked at him, clear and unaltered guilt in his eyes, she was surprised that the mere light from the moon could still make the blue shine in them.

Then Amy snapped into her mind and she bristled. "What happened tonight? Why did I get a bunch of sad texts from Amy?"

He let her arms go. "I shouldn't be speaking to you, really." He said before turning away and sitting down on his bed.

"Sheldon I was trying to help you guys." Penny pleaded, still holding her injured body parts.

His gaze leveled on her, his eyes sharp, he was _mad. _"How many times must I tell you that I am not interested in a physical relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler?"

"But she really likes you and you must like her because you make time to hang out with her." Penny challenged as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Sheldon shook his head with condescension before sighing. "I merely enjoy her company, Penny, much as I do Koothrapalli when he isn't being tainted by the presence of Howard. She and I talk about things and she understands where I come from on an intellectual level. I don't wish to add a sexual component to that, ever."

"Well tonight might have cost you that, intellectual and everything." Penny's voice was soft now, she felt sad for him and a bit guilty because she had helped Amy practically force herself onto him but Amy was desperate for his attention and Penny was only now realizing he didn't have any attention in him to give.

He looked at her, finally. "No, I believe we will be able to resume our relationship as it is, I've texted her and she has agreed as such, though we've decided to take a few days apart from seeing each other."

"So that's it?"

"That's it," he said, there was intensity in his eyes that made Penny flush with an odd discomfort. "And I'm _telling _you to accept it, I do not wish to deal with this anymore. Frankly, it is none of your business."

Properly chastised, Penny lowered her head and nodded. "I'm sorry, I won't push for it anymore. I just… want you to be happy, Sheldon." She glanced up at him through the cover of her fallen hair. "I worry about you getting lonely." He said nothing in return as she licked her lips and nodded before heading out of his room.

"Penny?" He finally called out to her and she turned around a bit too quickly. "I was hoping to take a trip to the farmer's market in Bakersfield tomorrow around noon, I know you don't work and I was wondering if you'd be willing to go with me."

Taking only a moment, she answered. "Sure."

Sheldon nodded with approval. "Very well, goodnight."

Penny left his apartment that night fighting off that horrible sinking feeling in her chest.


	3. The Stimulating Slumber

**The Stimulating Slumber**

The ride was relatively quiet on the two hour drive from Pasadena to Bakersfield. Penny had her window down and the sun was just starting to rise over the horizon and had found a delightful spot against her skin. She wore a tank top and jean shorts while Sheldon went away from the norm and wore a Green Lantern T-shirt over a long sleeved gray shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

And, _surprise, surprise_… chinos.

Penny couldn't offer up a real reason as to why she was going other than it beat spending the entire day at home alone. She didn't have any money to burn on something at a farmers market. Howard and Raj had shopped here before and she remembered having a rather intimate experience with a mango they'd given her, but she couldn't afford anything, she was just Sheldon's company.

"Kansas." Sheldon said out of nowhere as a car passed them. Penny sent him a confused look. "The license plate on that car that just went by, it's Kansas… I now only have six states left that I've yet to see."

She smiled at the sheer simplicity of it all, for a boy with a beautiful mind, he could be so modest. She liked that about him. "Do you have a Nebraska?"

"Even though your plates were already California by the time I met you, I counted you as my Nebraska, yes. Any other vehicle would have felt strange, though I have seen a few others." Sheldon didn't look at her as he said it but she sent a few looks his way.

Penny was grateful for her sunglasses as it hid her glances. "What do you have left?"

"Alaska, Massachusetts, Ohio, North Carolina, New Mexico and Montana."

She put the car in cruise control as they settled on a long stretch of highway. "I have a cousin who lives in Alaska."

Sheldon's face lit up a bit. "Would they be willing to send me a photo or perhaps an old plate in the mail?"

"I dunno, maybe. I haven't talked to him much since I was real little." She looked again at his face, hope still painting his expression. "I'll see what I can do though." She finished with a smile that he accepted.

They were quiet again for another few miles before Sheldon spoke again. "You don't speak of your family much." He said softly.

It wasn't as if Penny was ashamed of her family, she loved them all sure, in the way a person was _supposed _to love their family.

She was unhappy in Nebraska and talking about them was tough because they represented a part of her life that she wasn't proud of. She slept around in Nebraska; she fought with her parents constantly, especially as she grew older. There were scars there that she didn't want to dig into; she came here to start over.

"They're typical farm grown people, Sweetie, not much else to know." Penny finally said in hopes of curbing his curiosity.

She underestimated him. "Is your brother a felon?" He asked rather bluntly.

The moment she took her bottom lip between her teeth, Sheldon knew he'd hit a soft spot. "My brother is… a really good person…," she swallowed hard. "To his family."

"You didn't answer my initial question, Penny?" Sheldon pressed but fought to keep his voice soft and merely curious.

Penny sighed heavily. "Yes, he's in prison for cooking and selling meth. He's going to be in there for a long time and I hate him for it, okay?" She snapped a bit at him and he recoiled into his seat.

"Okay," Sheldon said indifferently before returning his eyes to the road in front of him. "Did you and he get along?" He forced again, unable to control his curiosity.

A growl emitted from Penny's throat as she gripped the steering wheel and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it, Sheldon. We're almost there just shut your hole and figure out what you want to buy."

"I don't understand why you won't answer my inquiries. You are constantly asking me questions about my family, my sister and mother and you're always trying to find out what I'm thinking about when it comes to Leonard or Amy. I'm merely countering your inquisitiveness."

Shaking her head tiredly, Penny turned onto a much less traveled road that wasn't as well kept as the highway and the car started to bounce a bit with the bumps. "Why do you care?"

Sheldon shrugged slightly. "There is clearly something that is bothering you; I've noticed lately that you've been struggling with a small case of, as my mother would put it, the blues… perhaps unloading some of that could be beneficial for you."

It was slowly becoming a habit of Sheldon's to absolutely disarm her. She froze at his words, her mouth falling open a bit as she struggled to find any sense of steady thought. How could he have seen it? She smiled the same, she laughed and joked with her friends all the same… she did nothing different. She still fought with him, they fought like hell and it was just their way.

But he _knew_.

Penny forced herself to settle down, looked at him with an empty expression. "We're almost here, let's just do this okay, Sweetie… no deep talks, it's not really your thing."

"Very well," And then it was gone, his voice was monotone again and Penny was quietly thankful for that. "My brother is the opposite." Sheldon said after a small moment of quiet and Penny sent a few sideways glances at him.

"What?"

Sheldon looked at her with derision. "Now you wish to talk."

Penny turned back to the road. "Sheldon…," she whispered.

"My brother was nice to every person he met… except for those he was related too. He had an inane ability to step into a room and have everyone pay attention to him. But when he would spend time with our parents or Missy and I he would treat us as lesser beings, mocking my mother's religious beliefs to the point of bringing her to tears and making fun of Missy and the way she presented herself. He had plenty of ammunition when it came to me and he wouldn't say a single word to our father, which I came to realize later, was a fairly brilliant means of dealing with him." Penny focused on the road but Sheldon could tell that he had her full attention. "You are not the only one in this world with a troubled family, Penny."

By then Penny had pulled into the parking lot of the market and found a spot to park. Turning the car off, she took off her sunglasses and he saw the glistening in her eyes. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

He smiled just enough, it was barely noticeable but Penny caught it. "We should hurry to beat the crowd."

* * *

Penny spun her spoon into the bowl of ice cream and watched as it turned to a soft, chocolate cream. It was a trick she'd picked up from her mom when she was little and anytime she had ice cream in a bowl she stirred it just like this.

Together, she and Amy sat side by side on the couch and watched some reruns of a cheesy soap that neither of them was paying attention too. For the most part, Amy wasn't all that upset, at least not as much as Penny had expected.

She never really expected Amy to cry or stress out over it, she was clearly a little disappointed but Penny had come to realize that losing a crazy ass scientist that she was never really dating in the first place was _not _the greatest tragedy of Amy Farrah Fowler's life.

It probably didn't even crack the top ten.

"So I notice you aren't wearing any of your new shirts." Penny said with a small smile. Amy was bluntly back to normal, wearing her typical sweaters and a long skirt.

Amy nodded slowly. "Yes, my body was not designed with t-shirts in mind. Plus those jeans you'd found for me were incredibly tight and coupled with the zebra print panties I was wearing they caused some very painful chafing of my thighs."

The spoonful of ice cream nearly slipped from Penny's fingers as she took a moment to regain her composure. "Right… well jeans aren't for everyone." She said with a forced laugh and a quiet chuckle in her head.

"Not that it wasn't a sound premise, of course, whenever I imagine someone being with Sheldon in an overtly romantic way, he is usually tearing off a superhero t-shirt of some kind from them with his teeth." Amy said this as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Penny couldn't stop herself from barking out a laugh. "With his teeth? I'm pretty sure that would be a strike."

"On the contrary, you've seen the vigor in which Sheldon approaches the things in his life that he really loves. His comic book collections are pristine and he goes out of his way to display and care for them. The same with his DVD collections and action figures. Now imagine that energy put into every aspect of a sexual encounter, the boy does very little physical labor so you have to imagine that his fingers are softer than a baby's backside… and surprisingly long which can only mean—,"

The clang of Penny's spoon in her bowl stopped the rambling. "Okay… we're veering into dark territory here." Penny said in a rush before standing as the couch suddenly felt like it was parked on the sun. She walked over to the counter and sat her bowl down while taking a few calming breaths.

It was one thing to think about Sheldon when she was sad and admire his consistency and all that stuff, but now… to be in her pajamas and have images of him meticulously undoing each button of her top one by one was an entirely different matter.

She was desperate for something to tear her mind away from those images. A sudden flash of Sheldon being kissed by Leonard's mother came in to the forefront. Everything inside of her went cold and she was eternally grateful for that.

"Let's not talk about Sheldon in the sack, okay? We should find a new topic." Penny said with a nervous laugh before sitting back down.

Amy nodded swiftly. "Very well… what's your favorite sexual position?" Penny's voice was lost and she could only respond with wide eyes. "Did I not veer far enough away from the topic?" Penny shook her head. "I see… well mine is reverse cowgirl, though I've never had a sexual encounter of that kind, I've seen it in videos and I want to wear a hat while I'm doing it once and maybe swing a rope around… like carnal roleplaying to the extreme. Maybe I could try and lasso something as I reach orgasm."

"We're still talking about sex!" Penny cried but she was laughing and it was nice to just laugh and not have her own heart ruin it. This was what Amy did for her, she made her laugh and smile and most of the time it was unintentional… but she did and Penny loved it. "Let's talk about something and not use the word sex in the sentence."

"Okay…," Amy thought for a moment. "Why do you have a Flash t-shirt sitting on your bed?"

Penny flushed profusely and had absolutely no idea why. "I—I thought it was cute."

The brunette eyed her questioningly. "It's a t-shirt with a catchphrase of a comic book character on it, this from the girl who seems to set fashion trends on a daily basis with her stunning style and wonderful complexion… but I don't really see this one catching on."

"Good," Penny said with a little smirk. "I don't want anyone else wearing that shirt."

Amy hesitated for a moment. "Sheldon's favorite comic book character is the Flash."

"How can you tell?" Penny asked before taking a sip of her wine.

"He told me, plus he has special packages for his favorite Flash comic books, they're some kind of gold colored plastic."

Penny shrugged and began to stare at the television as if she were attempting to set in on fire with her mind. "I just liked the shirt."

The rest of the night was a blur.

* * *

On her back, Penny looked up at him with anxious eyes. He hadn't really moved much, just stared down at her with an intensity that she couldn't begin to describe. His eyes hooded and blue light glistening from them, he had his hands planted on either side of her, the length of his body covering her own… she was mesmerized in the feeling of his presence.

Slowly, he dipped his head down and captured her lips in a slow and tender kiss. Penny could easily remember it being the tenderest kiss of her entire life. It was as if love was spilling from his lips and he was trying to pour it inside of her.

She moaned into his mouth as he continued to move against her. Suddenly she opened her mouth and he slipped his tongue inside, she melted into the mattress as he used a hand to gently grasp her shoulder.

Reaching around, she hooked her arms over his back, her nails trying to rip off the plaid pajamas he wore.

That was when he tore away from her and smiled, it was a genuine smile that he offered her and she couldn't stop herself from reaching up to touch his face.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, it was a feeling she couldn't describe… that was what stood out as he started to unbutton the top of her pajamas, the way she felt was overwhelming.

When he finished off the last button, he pulled open her shirt and the chilly night air hit her skin. He quickly started to warm it with kisses that started on her neck and went down inch by inch.

His lips encircled her breast and Penny cried out into the night, her words dying in the darkness but she knew he'd heard them… she prayed it was enough.

When he finally tore away from her body, she felt a chill consume her until his eyes found hers again. He tilted his head to the side, still smiling as her stomach twisted into knots.

"I love you." He whispered.

**_Beep! Beep! Beep!_**

Penny shot up like a dart, flushed and sweating as her alarm clock sounded through the bedroom. She couldn't breathe, her heart was racing and it felt like the room was spinning. For a moment even the sound of the alarm clock faded away as she tried desperately to regain the feeling of that dream.

She clutched at herself, her pajamas still on. She gripped the sheets tightly and forced herself to take slow and calming breaths. Never in her life had a dream felt more real than that.

As she started to relax, the adrenaline wore down from the experience and was replaced by the emptiness of her bed. Now she ached, emotionally and physically she felt like her insides were trying to rip out from her stomach.

Finally the sound of her alarm returned and she shut it off with a slap of her hand atop it.

Pushing her blankets off, Penny rose from the bed only to find her legs had turned to jelly. She stumbled and used her adjacent windowsill to maintain a bit of balance before forcing her muscles to respond. She raced into the bathroom and turned the shower on, ignoring the hot water knob altogether.

Twenty minutes later, Penny was nearly frozen solid but she could at least function properly.

Shivering as she stepped back into her room, she dressed in a pair of jeans and then found herself staring at the t-shirt on the floor by her bed. She scooped it up and eyed it for a moment.

She put it on, it was tight and stretched across her thick shoulders but once she caught a look at herself in the mirror, she kinda loved it.

Today wasn't the day to wear it outside though; she had an audition in an hour so she quickly changed into a much more expensive top and spent the next ten minutes getting ready.

After curling her hair just a bit, she was ready for the day and the second she walked out of her apartment… he was there.

Her legs stopped moving at the site of him, he was working the lock of his apartment door with a handful of mail in his hand. Of course he locked the apartment to go and get his mail in the morning. She smiled.

"Morning." She called cheerily.

Sheldon looked back at her over his shoulder for a moment. "Good morning, Penny. I trust you had a good REM cycle last night."

Penny bit the inside of her cheek. "Yup." She said a bit too flippantly.

"Good," he finally unlocked his door and stepped inside, but he left it open for her to follow and she did. "I heard Amy's voice last evening; you two weren't plotting were you?"

The blonde shook her head. "No, we're done with that, remember. I won't push her on you anymore. She's done trying with you anyways… so you're safe."

"Good," he said simply and suddenly the boy from her dream was turning to dust. Dr. Sheldon Cooper was not that guy. That was the wine and ice cream playing tricks on her. "Oh," Sheldon said as he thumbed through his stack of envelopes. "This is for you." He plucked out a small letter and offered it to her. "That mailman really should be relieved of his duties, there are only twenty-four mail slots out there and he is constantly carefree with his placement of letters. Who knows how many congratulatory gifts and cards for my contributions to science I've missed because of that man."

Reaching out, she went to take the letter but his long ass fingers touched her hand and the silly note fell to the floor between them. Because when he touched her she couldn't feel her hands.

She had to quit drinking, it was frying her brain cells.

Penny bent down and picked it up, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but in this apartment. She eyed the letter for a moment, it was from her mother. "Okay, well I have an audition, wish me luck."

"Yes, break a leg, Penny." He said with a kind tone and a blank expression as he sat down at his computer desk. Suddenly a horn honked from outside. "Oh good Lord!" He cried, "Kripke is early _again_." Sheldon shook his head, mumbling something under his breath about toxic weaponry.

It was an awkward moment that followed next. After he gathered up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, he went to walk past her. She moved to one side in an attempt to give him room, he moved the same way. Then they went back to the other side at the same time, this happened twice more before he finally reached out and grabbed her shoulders.

Her heart stopped, literally it stopped and she knew Sheldon would give her hell for saying literally because it wasn't true but it _felt _like it stopped.

For a moment, a split second as he looked at her she thought he was going to kiss her, like he had in her dream.

Instead he pushed her away to the left and stormed past her to the right. He opened the door and gestured for her to follow. "I'm not leaving you here, you steal milk and I haven't been grocery shopping since Leonard left." Reservedly, she started walking out the door and avoided touching him at all costs as she made her exit. "Will you take me grocery shopping this evening?" He asked hopefully as they descended the stairs.

"I—I have to work tonight, Sweetie." She heard him sigh in disappointment. "Tomorrow morning, okay. It's Saturday so you'll be off… we'll go when I wake up." He was quiet for a moment so Penny glanced up at him over her shoulder.

He was shaking his head. "You mean tomorrow afternoon, you never wake up in what others consider _morning _on weekends, Penny." She looked away and continued to walk. "That will be acceptable though." They reached the lobby and again he rushed past her and opened the door. She paused in the doorway and looked at him. He gestured for her to hurry along with a bit of a glare and she couldn't help but glare back and scoff.

"Have a good day, Sheldon." Penny called as she turned to find her car. He offered her the same sentiment but she wasn't listening.

She was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her.

* * *

"Thank you. That will be all." The tone of the casting director's voice told Penny all she needed to know.

With a small smile, she left the audition room. She knew she'd blown it, her mind was reading the words but she didn't move her body, she didn't fluctuate her voice at all to match her characters distress. She just flat out sucked.

Penny took the blossom out of her hair and let it fall around her shoulders as she walked out of the building and into the busying streets of the city. She climbed into her car and rested her head against the steering wheel. It was nearly one, she had to work in a few hours but at this point she didn't even want to move.

She was so tired of doing this. Of spending half her week preparing for these auditions and no matter how often she told herself not too, she got her hopes up and started daydreaming about what this part would do for her life. The money and the recognition, the ability to actually act professional and do something she loved so much.

The disappointment was never any easier; the look of boredom and annoyance on the faces of the people who made those decisions never hurt any less.

Turning her head to the side slightly, she saw the letter sitting in her passenger seat and plucked it up before tearing it open.

_Penny,_

_I wish I could write you with better news, your brother's trial was a few days ago and they've sentenced him to 10 years in a county prison. We said our goodbyes to him and he told us to tell you to be better than him, he said you'd know what it meant._

_We all miss you down here, I really wish you'd let go of this dream and come home but I understand why you stay. Your sister doesn't, Abby gripes about you constantly but I know it's just cause she misses you and she hates her husband but that's her problem._

_Write me back soon and catch me up on your life, we don't hear from you anymore._

_I love you, honey._

_Mom_

She was crying softly as she put the note down and started her car. In her mind she could hear Sheldon berating her for driving in distress, it was 'unsafe' but she had to get out of Hollywood and go back home.

It wasn't an overwhelming cry, it was a necessary one. She was sad for her brother, mad at him and missed him. They weren't all that close growing up, but through history and bad situations, she learned that he cared for her, that he'd protect her.

She wanted better for him, even if he didn't deserve it.

As she exited off the highway, her cell phone buzzed in her pocket and she struggled to pull it out. Once she did, her eyes fell on a text from her wack-a-doodle neighbor.

Absentmindedly, she smiled.

_Penny, would you be willing to drive me to the comic book store tomorrow evening in exchange for my purchasing you dinner?_

With a free hand and more of Sheldon's voice screaming at her for texting and driving, she answered.

_I thought we were grocery shopping tomorrow =)_

She made it a few more miles and finally lost a lot of the surrounding traffic as she made it too Pasadena.

Another message came.

_I suppose we'll be spending the better part of the day together than if you accept my proposal, please respond quickly as I must return to work soon._

For some reason, the idea of spending the day with Sheldon was incredibly welcoming. He was a figure of no bad memories; he brought with him no stress or rejection. He was just Sheldon, her fingers were tingling a bit as she texted him.

She didn't know why, Sheldon would say low circulation or give some technical answer.

_Dinner's fine, I know ur not picky but u choose the place._

Penny smirked when she hit send, wondering if he'd pick up on the sarcasm.

A moment later he responded.

_Very well_

He didn't, she found that she loved that he didn't because he wouldn't be Sheldon if he did.

Suddenly her mind flashed to her dream, that feeling she had when she woke up that morning. First the warmth and flutter in her chest and then the emptiness that followed when she regained her composure.

"Shit," she murmured to herself as she turned onto Los Robles. "I need…," her voice trailed off to nothing as she realized she needed to put herself back out there. She needed a date because her mind was playing horrible tricks on her with images of Sheldon, Sheldon Cooper who didn't do stuff like that, as if she would ever do anything like that with him.

He wasn't the boy in that dream… he _couldn't_ be.

She needed a date, a real date that could lead to something more.

She needed to stop thinking about her crazy neighbor, even if she was planning on spending her Saturday night with him.

Penny couldn't help but wonder if eating ice cream with a glass of wine tonight might make that dream come back to her.


	4. The Agonizing Actuality

**The Agonizing Actuality**

It hung by a hanger on the hook of her closet door. She had been debating for some time whether or not to wear it tonight and of course those thoughts made her wonder why she was worrying about it at all.

Sheldon wasn't really one for noticing clothing and though his face was in her mind when she purchased it, the shirt was really meant for the whole gang to see and have a good laugh.

Still, she was curious as to what his reaction might be, then she remembered that he wasn't really one for external reactions. He probably wouldn't even notice or if he did he wouldn't care.

With a defeated sigh she reached into her closet and put on a blue halter top and then decided to cover that with a green sweatshirt.

Gathering her purse up, she took her keys exited her apartment. The path across the hall was one she could make with her eyes shut. Six steps when she was happy, it was four quick strides when she had something important to tell them and seven jogging steps when she was upset.

Just as she was about to reach for the door to knock, her hand started to shake just a bit. She only noticed it when she raised her arm to eye level. She froze and pulled away, opening her palm and watching as it shook ever-so-slightly.

Penny actually emitted a laugh at the sight, she was nervous about comics and pizza with Sheldon? They'd already gone to the grocery store together but that was more a test of Penny's own patience than anything like this. He was different when she got him in a more one-on-one setting. Around others or when he was striving towards a task… he was a pain in the ass.

She fought off the feeling with a scoff of annoyance and knocked a bit harder than she intended. "Sheldon?" She called when she reached for the knob and found it locked. He'd been locking it more often now that he was spending his time alone.

It opened after a few seconds and he didn't say anything before taking a step back and allowing her in. She walked through quietly as he held a finger to his lips before returning to his computer desk. She heard a voice, a familiar one and it was coming from his computer. She moved to a good spot and saw Leonard's face displayed on Sheldon's screen.

"They have a pretty good research lab here, Sheldon… you would have been impressed."

Sheldon sighed. "I'm sure the classrooms at most of the surrounding high schools in California have better equipment than we're granted at Cal-Tech."

Penny held back, for some reason she didn't want Leonard to know she was here. Her hands were behind her back, clasped together and sweating just a bit, she was trying to stop them from shaking.

"Who was at the door?"

Her eyes shut, quietly praying.

"It was Penny," Sheldon said and she threw her head back and stepped into Leonard's line of sight.

She waved. "Hi Scruffy." She said with a bright smile as she took notice of the dark stubble on his cheeks.

Leonard flushed and ran his hands over his face. "Hey Penny, what are you doing?"

"About to take MoonPie here to get some comics and pizza." She used one of Sheldon's tones, as if she were absolutely put out by it all.

Sheldon turned in his seat to glare at her. "One: do not call me MoonPie, only MeeMaw calls me that and I'm still unaware of your obsession with it. Secondly: we're going to purchase comic _books, _I did not make any reference to us buying a cheap newspaper." When he finished, she had a glare on that matched his almost perfectly.

It was quiet for a moment, until Leonard chuckled awkwardly. "You know how they say it's good to be home?" He asked, waiting for a response from one of them.

Penny tore her eyes away and looked at the computer. "Yeah?"

"It's such a lie, have fun with that Penny. Talk to you guys later."

Sheldon offered a meek goodbye before closing his laptop and standing. He was just putting his bag over his shoulder when Penny crossed her arms over her chest and watched him. "Is there something you wished to discuss with me? You're not thinking about shoes are you?"

"Oh for God's sake, Sheldon. Why do you think you can talk to me like that? To anyone like that?" He had spoken that way to her, to everyone for so long that she couldn't understand why she was suddenly bringing it up now. It was as if lately, her heart was in control of her body, bypassing her mind altogether.

He walked past her to the door. "You constantly give me ample opportunities."

Though they were in the midst of a fight, she just followed him right out the door. "Like that, you think I like being talked like a seven year old?"

"Are you saying that you don't instigate a great deal of our disagreements on purpose?" They continued down the steps, Penny now at his side.

"Well," she stammered and saw a small smile tugging at the sides of his mouth. Her eyes rolled as she laughed. "Fine, point to you."

Unaware of when he actually made the move, by the time they reached the lobby he was a step ahead of her and had the door held open.

When she moved past him, her arm touched his torso so softly she knew he didn't feel it. She did, she felt the muscles in her thighs tighten and nearly stop her from walking entirely out the door.

It was gone a moment later when he started talking about what he was going to be getting at the store.

She watched him as they climbed into her car. His face was lit up with the prospects of new adventures for all his favorite heroes. Only science and science fiction got him this excited.

This was definitely not the boy from her dream.

She suddenly felt a strong urge to climb into bed and hug her favorite Hello Kitty doll.

* * *

Penny had officially fallen into the seventh circle of hell. It was the most uninteresting moment of her entire life and nothing would ever compare. She stood near the back of the shop, watching nothing but the paint on the walls as Sheldon and Stuart continued to argue about whether or not Spiderman was better off with… or without the webbing under his arms.

Apparently certain versions of Spiderman gave him webbing in his pits and others didn't. Well apparently there were some on the side of pit webbing and some against it.

Sheldon was against it, saying it was cheesy and distracting but Stuart thought it added more depth to his affliction and his attachment to the spider.

Penny was beginning to wonder how Sheldor was going to make it home if she just left his ass here.

"Sheldon," she called but was silenced when he put his hand up in her face and continued his ranting. She licked her lips, frustration starting to build and her foot began to tap against the floor. "Sheldon!" Her voice carried a bit more force this time, enough that Stuart took a step back but again Sheldon used his hand to quiet her.

Looking behind her, Penny plucked a rubber hammer off of a Thor costume, swung as hard as she could and pelted Sheldon right in the face.

He stumbled back, squeaking and dropping his bag of comic books before covering his face and looking at her.

She was grinning widely. "Now we're even, and if you ever do that hand thing again to make me stop talking, I'll break off one of those fingers and make you eat it, okay?" Penny spoke in an ominously cheery voice that terrified Stuart back to his spot behind the counter.

"You hit me!" Sheldon said in a muffled tone as he continued to cover his mouth.

"Like I said… we're even now," she winked and picked up his bag. "Bye Stuart!" She called before exiting, knowing he would follow his precious comics wherever she took them.

Sheldon still hadn't let go of his face once they entered the car. The hammer was rubber and a little hard but not enough to really hurt him. He was pouting and she knew it, before she started the car, she extended his comic books to him. "Peace offering?"

He looked at her with contempt. "I paid for them." He said haughtily before snatching them from her. "I am beginning to question my offer of dinner."

"Oh come on, you can't tell me I didn't deserve that moment. I sat in there for forty minutes while you talked about armpit webbing!" She turned over the engine.

The car started back onto the road and on its way to the pizza place. Sheldon started to dig through his bag and pulled out a comic, it was Spiderman, of course.

"Tell me, Penny, you've seen Spiderman in the movies correct?" She gave him a half glance, trying to keep focus on the road as they reached a red light. Penny nodded. "Is _this _what you see when you think of Spiderman?"

With a squint, she looked at the image he was holding too her as it was lit by a street light outside the driver's side window.

Her face scrunched up, it was kinda lame. Even for a comic book. "Fine… I'm on the side of no pit-web."

"Good," Sheldon smiled, a genuine smile that tore down her defenses like a trebuchet loaded with flaming rock. He put his comic away while she looked down at the spot where his seatbelt connected, anywhere but looking at him.

The sudden honk of a horn behind her drew Penny back to reality and the glow of a green light in her eyes.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet but Penny was thankful for that. Sheldon had his comic books in his lap, staring out at the road as Penny took them to his pizza joint.

Once they arrived, it was rather busy but Penny found parking closer to the back and they made their way inside.

Penny saw him first when they went in. Kurt was there, at the counter making an order with a few of his buddies in tow. They were all gym rats and all rather large except for Mikey, he was the short, chunky but funny one. Kurt mostly kept him around to pick on him and have him follow his orders.

He was basically what Penny used to be without the sex.

The discomfort settled in the pit of her stomach and she absentmindedly clung to Sheldon's arms.

"What are you doing?" He demanded, pulling away from her.

She looked down at her feet and pointed.

Sheldon followed her finger and bristled as he saw the large man chuckling with a group guys. "Well of all the places…," His voice trailed off and he looked at Penny was radiating anxiety. "We could leave."

"But it's pizza night." She said with a soft laugh as he nodded. Penny watched as his eyes traveled behind the counter where the pizzas were being made. She knew he wanted pizza, that he didn't want his schedule altered.

Penny nodded and smiled. "Come on, let's get some pizza."

When she took the first step in, Sheldon watched her for a moment before following. They were going to be standing in line right behind Kurt and his friends.

Sheldon felt an odd want to stay close to her.

"Oh! Ex-alert!" It was Mikey, his voice rattling as his chins rolled while he spoke. Penny hated him.

Kurt turned to face her, his hair longer now and his eyes looking down at her with arrogance. "Oh wow, sexy as ever I see, Penn." He smirked and looked her up and down.

"Charming as ever I see, Kurt." Penny countered as Sheldon approached behind her.

"Really?" Kurt said and gestured to Sheldon. "You're still on geek patrol?"

Penny felt her defenses rise. "I'm here with a friend, Kurt. Why do you even care?"

That was when he reached out and cupped her cheek gently. "Like I said… you're still sexy." His hands were rough and big and she felt herself weaken a bit… it had been so long since she'd been touched like that. "Come on, let me buy you a slice and we'll catch up."

"I," she stammered and then looked back as Sheldon shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly. "No," Penny backed away. "I'm here with Sheldon, just… get your pizza Kurt."

He scoffed and looked to his friends who all had matching responses. "You always were desperate to be praised."

That cut her deep, it hit every inch of childhood want she'd ever had. She constantly wished to have the approval of her father or even her mother to an extent. She wanted to be something that they would be proud of, that they would talk to their friends about with smiles and joy.

Kurt knew that, he'd seen it… and now he was using it.

However, Penny was not one to be weak. "Better than being used." She countered and he merely nodded in agreement and turned away as his pizzas came.

"That was unpleasant." Sheldon finally said as the other guys were out the door.

Penny looked back at him with apologetic eyes. "Sorry, Kurt was one of the bigger mistakes I've made in my life."

"More so than Zack?" Sheldon asked and Penny started to bubble up with laughter. She looked up at him as he smirked as if he'd accomplished something and her laughter faded to a thankful smile. "Come, we're wasting time in line." He ushered her with a hand across her back.

She was surprised at how much of back it actually covered. His palm was pressing her forward and she moved slowly before clutching the counter with both hands and stepping aside so Sheldon could order.

Her voice wouldn't have been able to process anything coherent at that moment anyways.

* * *

Penny found herself studying Sheldon's actions as he ate. He had six, yes six, different napkins at his side, stacked up perfectly and one extra on his lap. With each bite he took, he would wipe at his face. Each napkin had three wipes in them before he moved to the other one. He was meticulous in the way he approached everything and pizza was no different.

She'd eaten with him hundreds of times… yet today she was watching him, trying to learn him.

"This place is filthy." Sheldon said after swallowing a piece and looking up at Penny.

Her eyes glanced around the restaurant and she couldn't help but roll her eyes. It was one of the cleaner places in this area, the red and white tiled floors were always spotless and each table, tall and red as well with matching stools was constantly being cleaned by passing workers.

"Food is good though," Penny noted before lifting her slice to him.

Sheldon nodded slightly and returned to his food. "Why were you with Kurt?" He asked out of nowhere and Penny nearly choked on a pepperoni.

"What?" She asked between coughs and drinks of water.

"He is, as my brother would say, a jackass… Penny." The word sounded so strange coming from him and even he reacted the same. It didn't sound right and she kinda smiled at it, but his point was heavier.

She sighed and sat her pizza down. "Well yeah he was, but he came into my life when I was eighteen years old and stupid. I wanted his body and he wanted to move to California and make it as a stuntman so we left together. Of course I pictured it as some silly dream where we'd be this huge power couple with a great backstory and blah, blah, blah." Her hands waved animatedly as she spoke. "Turned out that once the threat of my dad and my brother were out of the picture… he turned into a jerk who told me where to go and what to do."

The words drew a unique look from Sheldon, one that Penny had never seen before. He was oddly interested in everything she said but he was having trouble looking at her. "Was he abusive?"

"He never hit me, if that's what you're asking. Sometimes he'd pull my hair really hard and kinda drag me around the house while he was yelling at me… but he was more stupid than violent. I left him because he cheated on me, not because he hurt me."

Sheldon was shaking his head, a certain disappointment in his eyes. "Penny that is abuse. No man should ever lay a hand on you… that's how I was raised. My father spent a great deal of his time in an inebriated state but he made sure to tell me and my brother that you do not harm women."

Penny smiled sweetly at him. Truth was she hadn't thought about her days with Kurt much at all over the last four and a half years with her new friends and this life she'd stumbled into. At the time she was afraid of him and really it was a fear that he was stupid enough to lose his temper and maybe do more harm. But she was over it, she wasn't held down by any sort of trauma from that.

She didn't care about Kurt, she cared that Sheldon seemed to care. "Sweetie," she called to him and he finally turned his eyes to her. "I'm okay." She reached out and touched his hand but Sheldon pulled away.

"I have to say Penny that I'm disappointed." His tone was sharp, almost accusatory.

Her voice betrayed her when she spoke. "What?" She croaked, suddenly losing her appetite.

Again he stopped looking at her. "You say that you only left Kurt because he betrayed your trust when it came to monogamy but… he tugged you around by your hair and intimidated you and you stayed with him through that. I would have assumed you were stronger than that."

"What?" She cried, drawing attention from the surrounding crowd. "I was strong, Sheldon. I walked away from him and started over, moved into that apartment _by myself _and am still making it on my own."

Sheldon didn't like that she raised her voice, he wasn't up for a screaming match that was going to be eerily similar to his memories of his father and mother.

Penny however, wasn't about to let this go. "Sheldon!" She slammed her hand down on the table. "You can't run away from this, you just said that I was _okay _with being treated that way."

"We should go." He said, pulling out his wallet and fishing for some money. He dropped it on the table and stood up in a rush.

Growling internally, Penny pushed herself up and let all her frustration settle deep within her and walked to the car with Sheldon.

The ride home was quiet, an uncomfortable and awkward silence that was slowly ruining Penny's entire day. How could Sheldon be so careless with her emotions? To call her out and accuse her of being okay with taking abuse, even in a minor form, from Kurt and then just clam up because she wanted to talk about it in a tone that he didn't like.

When Kurt used to get really mad at her, yeah he would grab her hair, yeah he would call her names and scream at her but they were young… right? It was just them growing up and struggling with their new life. They'd both left everything to come here, to move to California and make it big, it was hard and he didn't handle it well.

It wasn't abuse, no, it wasn't. Even when she cried and he screamed at her to stop, even when she begged him not to do it and he did anyways.

"I was afraid… okay?" Sheldon turned to her, able to attach himself to the conversation because her voice was calm and steady. "Kurt wasn't a bad guy, I mean he could be at times but we did have fun together and… he was all I had out here for a long time. I wanted to leave sometimes… but where was I gonna go. I didn't know any of you yet, he was the only person I had and I couldn't go back to Omaha… finally when he cheated on me I did leave and it was hard but I found you and Leonard and everything got better, I'm better. Dealing with him is what led me to you guys, I'll never apologize for that."

Sheldon remained quiet for a moment but it wasn't a distant quiet, he was thinking and she knew it. Penny turned the road to their apartment and he finally spoke. "You will never let him back into your life am I right?"

"No, I won't."

He nodded. "Good, if you did I would dissolve our friendship immediately."

Penny looked at him, her chest aching at his words, she fought desperately not to reach out and touch his hand. "Why?"

"You deserve better than that."

The words made Penny realize that Sheldon Lee Cooper, her wack-a-doodle MoonPie… was the best part of her life.

* * *

Penny was scraping the bottoms of her feet while she watched her Sex and the City DVD's for the eleventh time since she bought them. Her mind was racing with different thoughts and Carrie Bradshaw's antics on the screen weren't making their point as much as they normally would. She couldn't stop thinking about Sheldon, about Kurt and about how different they were.

The more she thought about who she was back then, when she let Kurt pull on her hair and talk down to her, she couldn't help but agree with Sheldon, it was disappointing. There was shame in the memories of that girl. She hated Kurt, she hated that he had a part of her, a history of who she was would always be attached to him.

But there was Sheldon, her sweet Sheldon who was doing his laundry right this moment. With Sheldon came this feeling in the pit of her stomach that would rise up whenever she thought of him. Penny wondered if it was just the thought of him, because around him she could be normal, unless he accidently touched her (or purposely) then her entire body shut down. It was strange, like a chemical reaction and she thought maybe all his experimenting had made his skin radioactive.

It was a silly thought that made her laugh, but his touch was definitely numbing.

Penny laughed out loud into the emptiness of her apartment, loneliness was driving her insane.

Suddenly, there was a ringing. It was a very unfamiliar ringing that made her jump and drop her foot scraper.

She turned to the computer on the coffee table. There was a big image painted across it saying 'Incoming call: Amy Farrah Fowler'.

"What the…," she reached out and tapped the accept button.

That was when Amy's face lit up her screen. "What up, Bestie?"

"Amy! Hey… how did you do this?" Penny asked with a bright smile on her face.

The brunette grinned. "I thought I'd surprise you, you had all this stuff on your computer already but your Skype wasn't activated so I decided to set it up and now I can see your perfect cheekbones and flawless backside whenever I want!"

Penny blushed and shook her head. "Well right now you caught me grinding the dead skin off my feet."

"Oh please, your feet could be the home page of a fetish website. That's not really my taste but I had a roommate in college who was once obsessed with people having vestigial tails. She was a bit disturbed, I think she's a neurosurgeon now." Amy's tone was serious and a bit thoughtful.

"Hmm well they'll let anyone get a PHD these days, I mean look at Dr. Crazy." The lack of response from Amy caused Penny to stare at her image on the screen. "What?"

Amy shook her head slowly. "I just find it strange that you always find a way to bring Sheldon into the conversation."

The blonde's face paled as she laughed nervously and waved her hands in the air. "Well outside of you he's pretty much all I've got right now. Plus I just spent the whole night with his crazy ass and, of course, we fought."

"Yes but you two fight constantly, it's like a sexy, modern day Fred and Ethel Mertz." Penny's face went blank. "From I Love Lucy? Really?" There was still no recognition in her friend's face. "You should look them up. It's a wonderful show although Lucy's cries are reminiscent of the mating calls of the feral cats that used to roam around my childhood home right before they would spray their scent all over our window screens."

Penny shook her head to break the train of random images that Amy always seemed to emit in her. "Why are you comparing Sheldon and me to an old married…," It came back, it stopped her mid-sentence in front of another person and she couldn't hide it. That pain in her heart hit like a sack of bricks to the chest.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked and Penny forced a nod to match her broken smile.

She had to run away from this, she needed the darkness of her bedroom. "I'm fine, Ames. I just need to get some sleep because I have a double shift tomorrow that starts at 2 and I'll be up until about noon on Monday." Penny then offered a real, genuine grin at her friend. "This is great though, now I can have Amy time anytime I want."

The brunette's eyes welled up just a bit and it made Penny want to hug her. Amy had never had real friends, especially not ones that spoke of them in such high regard. That wanted to spend time with her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Bestie." Penny offered a wink before closing the lid of her laptop and letting the agony overwhelm her.

With her face buried in her hands, Penny struggled to catch her breath. She couldn't stop thinking about that feeling, the one from her dream and how it felt to be loved. She wondered now if she'd ever actually had love before, she'd said it to Kurt, she'd said it to TJ and even thought she felt it with Leonard.

But it was never like that dream. That feeling that shook her now and would haunt her forever.

"It was just a stupid dream, Penny." She whispered to herself and wiped at her eyes, she was tired and moody. She needed to sleep.

Just as she rose from her couch, the world threw her another curve, the same one she'd been swinging at for the last five years.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Penny?"

And he went on two more times, she was at the door before the first one ended but she waited for him. Once he'd finished his round of knocks, she opened the door and caught sight of him in his pajamas.

"What's up?" She asked behind a yawn.

Sheldon shuffled from side to side on his feet, looking at the floor below him. "I was… out of line tonight, or so I've been told by my mother."

Penny's face contorted with confusion. "What? You talked to your mom about our night?"

"Of course, I call my mother every night after I finish my laundry."

She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the door frame. "And you told her about me and Kurt?"

"No," Sheldon said quickly. "I merely told her that I was prying information about you that made you uncomfortable and she said it was none of my business. I suppose she was right, though I find that since you consider me such an invaluable part of your life that perhaps it is my business."

A small laugh erupted from her throat and she pushed it down with a shake of her head. "You're an invaluable part of my life, huh?"

"Your words were different but I believe the sentiments were the same. " He was still struggling to look at her, apologies and heavy conversations were tough for him. "I am truly sorry if I divulged into things that had no matter to me."

Penny was already waving him off and smiling. "No, sweetie you have a right to know." She fought with her own want to reach out and touch his cheek. "You may not always care… but you catch it all." Another yawn hit her and she moved herself off the doorframe. "I think I should go to bed though."

"I know that you work tomorrow evening but… it's Sunday, and Sunday is paintball day but I have no partners to attend with and… Penny would you be willing to go to paintball with me?"

She was becoming his supplement for Raj, Howard and Leonard. If she didn't put a stop to this right now she'd be spending her entire summer watching corny anime and flying kites with him.

If she didn't put a stop to this, she could spend tomorrow morning with him and continue to find the elixir to her agony that his presence seemed to bring.

"Sure, honey. I'll just need to borrow Leonard's equipment, what time do you leave?"

Sheldon brightened immediately. "7:30 on the dot, not a moment later or we'll struggle to find parking."

"Okay, G'night Sheldon."

That was when he moved. It was simple to her, a huge step for him. But he touched her shoulder with his hand and hit the curve of her neck with his index finger.

Her mouth fell open like a swooning teenager. He didn't notice as he offered a good REM cycle and retreated to his apartment.

Penny closed her own door and leaned back against it, letting out a frustrated growl.

Stomping into her room and shedding her clothes Penny snatched her Flash t-shirt off the hanger and put it on.

Standing in front of her mirror in nothing more than that shirt, her white cotton panties and the frown on her face, Penny realized why his fingers melted her skin.

She had feelings for Sheldon Cooper, feelings for a boy who didn't do romance, who didn't do touching and kissing and anything like that.

He was a boy who would never offer her anything like that in return.

She was losing her mind.

Penny climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep.


	5. The Paintball Promiscuity

**The Paintball Promiscuity**

Penny could feel the weight of him as he straddled the backs of her thighs. With her eyes closed and her face comfortably resting to the side on the pillow, she felt his hands trace up the back of her shirt. He ran his nails gently over the skin and she curled her toes at the sensation.

With each inch that his hands moved up, the shirt went with it and the cool air hit her spine and made Penny quiver with delight. That was when she felt his lips touch the space between her shoulders blades. It was a gentle kiss, soft and welcoming. It lingered for a moment as he ran his fingertips down her sides.

Then he pulled away and she felt him slide down her legs a little. His index finger traced the small of her back, as if he were writing equations on her skin and the thought melted her. She would gladly be his whiteboard.

He then started to pull at the waistband of her panties and ever-so-slightly he guided them down. He brushed the pads of his thumbs over the newly exposed skin.

It was torturously slow and Penny was already on the brink of it ending in that very moment. She had her hands buried in the sheets of her bed, desperate for any sort of lifeline to maintain this feeling forever.

When his finger dipped inside of her, she cried out his name into the pillow. He went in and out slowly, making her mewl and grind against his hand. It was amazing, the way he would continue to touch her, the beautiful things he was saying to her.

"Oh… Sheldon," she whispered into the night and heard him laugh softly at her pleas. He stroked her delicately and she was close, so damn close.

That was when her eyes fluttered open at the sound of a passing ambulance outside her window.

Penny found herself lying in the darkness of her bedroom… alone. The pit of her stomach felt like an endless well as she read 5:48 on the clock by her nightstand.

Everything from before she went to sleep came spilling back into her mind. Sheldon and the admission of feelings for him and how wrong it felt, but how scared she was to lose it. She felt like a drug addict, something that was so bad for her but she didn't want to stop. It was physically killing her but the sensation was greater than anything else she'd ever imagined. He was a lunatic, with his routines and neurosis and everything else that made him so different.

But… he was beautiful. In his own unique little way he was everything so wonderful about this world. He was innocent and kind, yeah he could be arrogant and needy but when he needed to be strong he could be for his friends. He knew who he was and had no intentions of ever being anything else.

That was a realization that was both wonderful and horrible for Penny. He had no intentions of being anything else. Romance wasn't in his plan, he loved science and it was the only thing in this world that hadn't turned its back on him. Science didn't only accept who he was, it thrived on it. Sheldon found his only great accomplishments through science, his sources of pride and power were built on it.

How could she ever compete with his first love when she had nothing he coveted to offer?

"God Penny," she whispered to herself and rose up from her bed into the darkness.

She shuffled to the bathroom and turned on the light. Her eyes squinted at the brightness and she could barely register her face in the mirror. Her eyes were heavy and tired, her face splotchy from crying herself to sleep.

It was true, perhaps the scariest truth of her entire life. She'd had crushes before and she knew what they felt like but this was a crush times ten. She wondered if it was the challenge of it, like hunting for Moby Dick simply because he seemed unattainable.

Taking a step back, she looked at the shirt she wore, faded red with those words emblazed across it. She felt a part of him in the shirt, that's why she was drawn to buy it.

For some reason now, the idea of Sheldon seeing it was terrifying, as if having him see it and having it not matter to him would absolutely devastate her.

She tore it off and turned on her shower.

The water was near scalding as it trickled down her back and thickened her hair. She clutched the wall and fought to right her mind. A month ago she was so normal, she wasn't falling into this pit of, what would Sheldon call it? Entropy. That's what Sheldon represented to her now, a pit of unknown and unseen that couldn't be comprehended or righted. He'd taken away her sanity.

Penny screamed into the running water above her.

By the time 6:30 rolled around, she was dressed and steady enough to handle what was coming. She'd worn her hair up in a ponytail and went with as subtle of makeup as possible. She wanted Sheldon to notice her, she knew he wouldn't but she had to try.

She dressed casually sexy, a low cut shirt and a pair of tight fitting jeans. Eventually she'd be covered in camouflage and paintball gear but for the small moment in between, she was dressing for him.

Like trying to describe colors to the blind.

By 6:45 Penny was standing by her door and right on time he knocked. She knew he wouldn't risk her sleeping in.

Opening the door he was already in his gear and holding out a secondary pair for her. He had his goggles on the top of his head and there was a light in his eyes. He really did enjoy all of this.

"Good morning, Penny. I trust you had a resting sleep and are prepared for battle?"

She accepted the gear with a smile. Making sure she didn't touch his hand. "I'm ready, sweetie."

"Ah," Sheldon warned softly with a raised hand. "No pleasantries this morning, for all intents and purposes we're just two soldiers who must rely on each other to survive."

Penny plastered on a cheesy, stoic face nodded with her lips protruding out in faux seriousness. "Yes sir." She saluted him, he grinned with pleasure. "Let me go get suited up."

As she sauntered into her bedroom, she noticed his eyes never left hers. In any other case she's adore someone for that, for not checking out her body or staring at her breasts… but dammit she wanted _him_ too.

She had every intention of taking out her frustration on whatever miserable nerds were pitted against them at the paintball grounds today.

* * *

Finding solace behind a tree, Penny felt the breath coming out of her in waves. She was sweating, her leg muscles were on fire, and she was smiling from ear to ear.

Sheldon had only offered her two small pistols to work as her paintball gun while he had a big, regulation sized one that most of the others were carrying. Penny was thrilled with her dual weaponry and she'd successfully taken out each member of Chuck Bresnik's birthday party. Sure they were mostly 13 year olds but one of them whistled at her as she walked by before the match started, they all had to be brought down.

From her distance, she could see Sheldon picking off a boy that ran by the rock he was perched on.

Sheldon wasn't the greatest paintball player but he knew enough about tactics and strategies to give himself a chance. Now, if he had to outrun someone he was toast. What really drew Penny into the experience was the smile that he wore when he played, he was having so much fun and she found herself syphoning on his excitement.

From her spot behind the tree she could see a group of four kids sneaking up on Sheldon from the rock he was sprawled out across. She gingerly stood up and started to run as quietly as she could through the brush, jumping over a fallen branch she saw them hold their weapons to her boy.

"Sheldon!" Penny screamed, almost feral like and drew their attention.

The kids saw nothing but blonde hair and paint pellets flying at them. She hit two of them and the others took off in the opposite direction.

Sheldon stood up in a rush and hooked her around the waist as she gave away their position. He covered her mouth with his hand and Penny thought her face was going to catch on fire. She was about to involuntarily wrap her arms around him all the same when they heard the escaped kids calling for help from their friends.

"We're vastly outnumbered." Sheldon said in a dark and husky voice that made Penny tremble a little.

He was so serious that she found it both adorable and intriguing. He was having a blast.

Hell, she was too. "We need to hide, what about that safe shed over there?" She pointed to the small, metal box that had paint spots all over its sides. It was a ways away and right in the open.

"I'll cover you." Sheldon let her go and lifted his weapon.

Penny nodded as if there were real bullets about to be fired at her and took off in a sprint.

She could hear the sounds of gunfire and waited for the sting of a paintball and felt one smack against an exposed part of her leg. She faltered for only a moment but kept moving, eventually she could hear Sheldon's footsteps catching up to her. He was still firing.

Reaching the shed, Penny practically dropkicked it open and burst inside with her MoonPie in tow. They shut the door and glided to a dark spot in the corner.

"You were kind of a badass out there." Penny said between quiet laughs as they hunkered down inside the small shed and listened to the sound of CO2's being discharged.

Sheldon looked to her, his eyes still bright but his features more settled. She wanted to touch his face but forced her hand still. "Thank you, it has been fun to play with someone who takes this game as seriously as I do."

"Nothing like shooting snot nosed kids in the chest with a paint bullet." She said, blowing on the end of her gun dramatically.

He let out a breathy laugh. "Agreed." She turned to peek out the window above them but felt his eyes lingering on her. She stopped and locked her gaze onto his. "You surprise me." He said offhandedly as he sat his gun down at his side.

"Why?" Penny asked, sitting down beside him, as close as she could so their legs were touching just a bit.

"It's just that you are quite fearless at times."

Penny pursed her lips and smirked. "Sheldon sweetie this isn't really the scariest thing I've done. I mean we're playing against mostly little kids."

He shook his head quickly. "Not the task in general but the general expectations of who should and should not be caught in a paintball match. Last I checked beautiful blondes do not play paintball."

_Beautiful, _he called her beautiful and Penny thought she might liquefy right there into the floor. His tone carried no emotion as he said it, hell he wasn't even really looking at her. He was proving a point but it was the best lead she'd had all week. "I don't understand." She said, she didn't really but she was hoping he might slip in something else to make her heart stop.

"It's just that fear of embarrassment is something that is usually adjacent to doing things that are considered by society as… nerdy, but you, a girl who could be considered above all this, choose to not only participate… but lose yourself in the game. I find that fearless and very endearing." She blushed and smiled and was glad that the shed was dark enough to hide her pink cheeks.

Penny cast her eyes on him. "What are you afraid of?"

"Spiders." Sheldon said flatly and Penny swatted his arm.

"Not that, something real. That matters."

He scoffed. "Oh spiders matter Penny, especially the poisonous ones."

A bubbly laugh emitted from her and she knew it was her flirty laugh, she was outwardly trying to get him to notice her, perhaps the old tricks she'd had for years could work. "No, something you've never told anyone, a real fear that you keep to yourself."

"It won't be kept to myself if I tell you." He responded simply as if it were obvious.

Penny offered a half smile. "You go… I go, and then we'll be even."

Taking a deep breath, Sheldon looked away from her and let his mind wander for a bit. She could tell he was thinking because his lips were moving ever-so-slightly.

The urge to kiss him was new, unfamiliar and scary but it was there. "Death."

"Well… yeah but that doesn't really count, I mean we all fear that a little bit."

Sheldon shook his head. "It is not the actual moment that I fear. I have long since accepted that it will come and I cannot stop it. It is the idea that this world will continue to function after I'm gone. That 200 years from now there will be advances in science that I am only able to dream about now. It… upsets me to think of what I'll miss out on. I do not see my lifetime lasting long enough for my subconscious mind to be transferred to a machine." He shrugged she could feel a bit of bashfulness coming from him. "It's irrational to fear what cannot be controlled, but irrationality is a driving force behind many of the choices people make." He looked at her again. "Your sleeping with Koothrapalli comes to mind."

"Oh God!" Penny cried and threw her head back. "Can we please not refer to that… like ever."

"But it is a part of our history, Penny. There will, no doubt, be times where the actions of that evening will need to be brought up."

She hoped her eyes were pleading enough to him, that she could tell him to never bring it up with just a look because it was him. It should have been him with her, him that she turned too with her broken heart.

Licking her lips, she spoke. "That's mine," Sheldon narrowed his eyes in confusion. "My fear is being alone. It's why I slept with Raj, it's why I drink." Again he looked lost. "Because it's easier to go home with a stranger if you know you won't remember it in the morning."

"But you haven't had a male companion over to your apartment in quite some time."

Penny smiled as she lowered her goggles down and picked up her guns. "That's because I've decided to save my next time for my soul-mate."

"You do realize the concept of soul-mates is hokum, right?"

Rising to her feet, Penny strode towards the door of their hiding spot and Sheldon awkwardly followed her. "Whatever you say, MoonPie."

Sheldon bristled. "Only MeeMaw calls me—," his voice stopped as she held the barrel of her paint gun directly at his face, her grin widening in the background.

"Cover me."

* * *

Penny slid into the booth in the back corner of the Denny's and watched as Sheldon did the same. It was his booth, right next to the window that overlooked the passing road and beautiful scattering of trees from the park beyond that. The sun never hit this spot, it would hide behind the trees before it leveled high enough to be above the roof. There was an air conditioning vent just above it that was perfect for the summer time.

It was Sheldon's Denny's spot. Penny found her seat in the booth to be very warm as she smiled at him from across the table.

Even though he always ordered the same thing everywhere he went, Sheldon would always dig through the menu. Penny figured it was mostly curiosity, especially at a place like this where the menu changed so much.

She found she enjoyed being on this side of his trips to a restaurant. It was nice to just sit with him, no Howard making jokes or Raj drinking mimosas so he could talk to her or Leonard constantly bickering with his roommate.

Having actually admitted to having feelings for him, Penny found that it was hard to sit still like this when he was so close. She wanted to flirt with him, it was in her nature to push these sorts of things, but she couldn't. He wasn't prepared for that, if anything it would just make her look crazy to him. So she steadied herself and tried to act as normal as possible.

Going out of her way to impress Sheldon was pointless. She possessed no weaponry for the armor he wore.

After ordering their food and nearly having to smack Sheldon as he argued with a very overly worked waitress, Penny sipped on her coffee and picked at her eggs while Sheldon began to meticulously cut his pancakes.

For some reason, being around him today was different than any other day she could remember. Penny was second guessing herself constantly. Every action she did, the way she ate, the way she chewed or where to rest her hands between bites. Was she sipping her coffee too loud or could he feel that her leg was shaking under the table?

Reaching under the table, she pulled up her jean leg just a bit and ran her fingers over a delicate spot that had been struck by a paint pellet during the match. She had merely brushed it off at the time as the adrenaline made her almost blind to it. Now though, it hurt and when she felt the divot in her skin from the impact, it hurt worse.

"What are you doing?" Sheldon asked and Penny realized she was half under the table.

The blush that reached her cheeks was horribly embarrassing, she smiled and shook her head… feeling like a smitten teenager. "I took one to the ankle, I was just checking it." Penny placed her hands on the table with a thud only to realize that there was blood on her index finger. "Oh," she whispered and grabbed napkin.

"Are you… bleeding?" Sheldon shrieked and stood up from his spot in the booth.

Penny watched him in shock as he paled and shoved his plate of food as far away from himself as he could. "Sweetie, it's from my ankle… your food is fine."

"Perhaps, but my appetite isn't?" He took a few back. "Are you finished with your meal, I believe we should pay our bill and leave."

Feeling bad for ruining his breakfast, Penny stood up and they made their exit together.

Her ankle was stinging the entire way home but she didn't bring it up again until they were ascending the stairs and she winced a little.

Sheldon, of course, heard her hiss and forced her into his apartment and onto the couch. She looked over at his spot that was right next to her and smiled. God he was crazy, the thought had run through her mind at least twenty times already this morning. To the point where she sometimes questioned which one of them was truly the wack-a-doodle.

A moment later he came out with a little first aid kit and sat down on the coffee table in front of her and popped it open. "Could you roll up your pant leg?" He asked before pulling out a small tube of antibacterial medicine. She heard the pop of his rubber glove as she gently rolled up her pant leg.

She'd worn socks today, something she didn't do all that much in the summer but it seemed like a good idea for paintball. Only now her white sock wore a crimson mask and was spotted with blood.

Sheldon blanched again and stood from the table while covering his mouth with the non-gloved hand.

Penny winced and looked at her foot; it wasn't really that bad, just a small stain that had seemingly blossomed like a painted flower. Carefully, she peeled the sock off and held it up while he returned with a pair of tongs and grabbed it.

Moving towards the kitchen, he tossed it in the dumpster, tongs and all, and ripped his rubber glove off as well.

When he returned to her, he replaced his glove and turned her foot just a bit to inspect the wound.

Her eyes fought like hell to roll, it was just a little cut on her leg but he was touching her and caring for her so she kept her damn mouth shut and let her foot go numb under his surprisingly firm grip.

As he dabbed her cut with a Q-tip, Penny never took her eyes off him. She was chewing on her bottom lip like it was dipped in chocolate and her stomach kept flipping over. Penny wrapped her arms around her middle and tore her eyes away to stare at the arm of the couch.

Once the Band-Aid was in place, Sheldon let her foot go and put his first aid kit away.

He was about to stalk off to put his stuff away when Penny stood and touched his forearm softly.

Sheldon looked at her with soft eyes, she smiled. "Thank you," She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before saying something about getting ready for work and making her leave.

* * *

"This is a first." Bryan's voice was scratchy as he pulled the cigarette from his lips and blew out the smoke.

Penny took a few slow steps out the back door of the Cheesecake Factory where most of the employees had their smoke breaks. She didn't smoke, so she never came out here, but it was 84 degrees at midnight in the middle of May and she needed some fresh air. "Well you guys come out here so often I figured I'd see what all the fuss was about."

Bryan smirked and stood from his spot atop the bench. "You want one?" He asked lifting up his soft pack of smokes.

"No," she said with a shake of her head before moving to the wall that separated this spot from the road beyond them. She hoisted herself up on it and sat. "They cause cancer you know?"

He chuckled and nodded before joining her along the wall. "I'll be dead way before cancer can get me." Bryan then took another long drag. Penny wasn't really up for talking; she had actually thought she would be alone out here. Bryan, of course, was never willing to pass up a chance to talk to her, no matter how distant and uninterested she was. "You're moving a little slow tonight," he noted with a look of curiosity.

"Night shifts suck." She responded quietly, turning her head in the opposite direction of him and watching the cars drive by. Even though she wasn't looking at him, Penny could feel his eyes on her. He was staring at her breasts and down her side. In a strange way it felt good to be noticed like that, she'd been so ignored lately by the only person she really wanted to see her.

Bryan was a pig and user, but he was cute and for now she let him boost her ego a little. "You and I should be having sex." He said it so easily that Penny thought for a moment that it was her imagination just playacting his voice.

She turned to look at him and the statement lingered in his eyes, he had said it. "What?"

"We should be having sex, like even now to pass a shitty night shift we could be fucking. Take away the stress."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Bryan… I don't just sleep with whoever is around to calm myself down."

"I'm not just anyone." He scoffed and finished his smoke before putting it out on the wall he sat on. "We work together, plus I'm good at it."

A laugh bubbled up in her throat. "I'm out of your league." She said half-heartedly.

"What league would that be?" Bryan started, reaching out and touching her chin to make her look at him. "The Justice League?"

Suddenly her stomach became a never-ending quarry of despair as she wished it were Sheldon out here with her in the darkness. The air was hot and muggy, the stars were blanketing the sky above them and the ambiance of cars passing by set the mood.

Quickly, Penny hopped down off the wall and started for the door.

"He's not that guy." Bryan said and Penny felt her feet stick to the ground as if nails had been driven through them. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Spock? I've seen the way you look at him, hell we all see it. He'll never be that guy … you could take his order in lingerie and he wouldn't blink, unless you fucked up his hamburger."

Penny shook her head. "You don't get to talk about him."

Slowly, Bryan started to take steps towards her and when he came up close enough, he touched her shoulders with both hands. "Pretend I'm him, I don't even care if you scream his name."

"Stop," she whispered as he kissed her neck. Penny slipped into the sensation for a moment before his hands reached around and grabbed her breast. No, he couldn't replace Sheldon… Sheldon wouldn't do this to her. "Stop!" She cried and turned to shove him away.

Bryan fell back against the seat of the bench and started laughing a bit with his hands up. "Alright, I'm sorry… just know that I'm here, okay? You could pull me away from the biggest tip of my life and I'll drag you out here and make you forget all about Spock."

"He's a better man than you'll ever be." Penny spat with a point of her finger.

"Which is probably the reason why he'll never end up with a waitress."

Her bottom lip was quivering as she fought the urge to cry and replaced it with anger. "You and me… we work together okay? Unless you have something to say to me about a drink or an order, don't talk to me!" Penny then walked up to where he was lying from her shove and pressed her foot into his throat.

His smirk was gone.

"And if you ever touch me again, I'll castrate you."

Penny marched back inside as the tears started to fall, she heard him light up another smoke.

That was when the phone in her pocket buzzed. It was late, she hated when her phone did anything this late.

It was a text from Sheldon.

_Sleep is eluding me this evening._

Penny smiled despite herself. She craftily texted him back.

_Make urself another glass of warm milk_

Grabbing her pad, Penny moved back out where a couple of young girls were chatting and giggling and she took their orders. Chocolate shakes and pancakes, that sounded a bit like heaven to Penny in that moment.

As she made her way back into the kitchen, she had another message.

_I have had three, now I simply feel bloated._

Her laugh filled the kitchen and drew a few stares from her co-workers. "I uh… I need two orders of pancakes and two chocolate shakes." Penny said quickly before retreating to a corner for more privacy.

_Count sheep or something, surely someone as smart as U knows know to enduce sleep._

Penny took the newly made shakes out to the girls who delightedly thanked her and even complimented her hair, which was braided just a bit down one side. Her phone vibrated again and she trotted off.

_The proper spelling is induce, and there is a difference between knowledge and practice. None of my techniques are working_

Her grin was irremovable; she took a steady breath, any event from earlier tonight now gone.

_Well I'd sing soft kitty to you but I still have two more hours left on my shift =(_

The pancakes were ready and Penny took them out to the girls with a few extra cups of syrup and powdered sugar. They thanked her again and when Penny commented that the pancakes were especially good tonight, the dark haired girl offered her a bite and Penny gratefully accepted.

When her phone went off again, Penny was drinking a swig of milk to wash down the pancake she'd eaten.

_I'll wait for you._

She then went on to spit milk all over the wall in front of her.


	6. The Influenza Indiscretion

**AN/ **We're slowly making progress. I forgot how much of a pain it is to post chapters on here...

* * *

**The Influenza Indiscretion**

Penny ran a hand over her face, she had been awake since seven and it was now 2:30 into the next morning. The steps felt as if they were ten feet tall and it was a struggle to get her legs to move up each one. Once she reached the top, the text she'd gotten from Sheldon rang through her mind.

She couldn't help but wonder if he was still awake, sitting up in his bed waiting for her. Chewing on her bottom lip, she glanced to the door and then back to her own apartment. Of course her legs started to drag her to Sheldon's door; she knocked softly and called his name. There was no answer, she checked the knob… it was unlocked.

Gasping in surprise, Penny let herself in, Sheldon was a stickler when it came to his own personal safety so he had to have left it unlocked for her. Stepping inside, it was dark save the moon shining through the window.

Softly, she walked through his apartment and moved down the hallway until she was waiting outside his bedroom. Taking a breath, she swallowed the lump in her throat and twisted the doorknob slowly.

When she peered inside, she smiled. He was asleep. Her body sagged at the sight of his comfort. He wasn't so much in his vampire pose, he had started there no doubt but his left arm had fallen, his head was cast to the side and his mouth was open slightly.

Taking a step inside, she moved around to the side of the bed and felt her fingers twitch as she touched his cheek.

He was so sweet, there was something about him that was calming to her. She could have a shift like tonight, where she was groped and exhausted and just seeing Sheldon was enough to make everything okay.

Penny pulled her fingers away, she didn't want to wake him because she knew he would break this spell and go on about her being in his bedroom and then he'd ask her to leave.

Kissing the tips of her first two fingers, she dropped them onto his lips and enjoyed the softness of them before quietly leaving him to his sleep.

Once she returned to the quiet of her apartment, Penny shed her Cheesecake uniform as if it were on fire and fled to take a much needed shower before bed. She felt heavy, like her feet weren't strong enough to carry her. The wall was used as a crutch to keep herself upright as she washed away her miserable night that was only salvaged by a few scattered text messages from her wack-a-doodle.

It sounded cheesy in her mind and she would never say it out loud, but in a world that seemed as if it was always out to hurt her, Sheldon was her hero. Rarely was it intentional unless she'd fallen in the shower for lack of adhesive ducks (she had Hello Kitty stickers on the bottom of her tub now thanks to EBay) but he always found a way to make her better.

Even now, when he was the main source of all her hurt, he was the only elixir.

She went to bed that night with a headache and sore feet.

She went to bed that night praying she could dream about him again.

* * *

Penny knew something was wrong the second her eyes opened. Her head felt like it was weighed down an extra pound or so, her nose was stuffed up and her throat hurt every time she swallowed.

Rolling over, her head started to throb and her muscles were gooey like pudding. She was sick.

The first thing she could think about was Soft Kitty, it was just what sickness brought to her mind now. It came and went just as quickly and when she tried to sit up, the room started spinning around her.

It was a bad cold, she could tell already because her sheets were soaked in sweat, she probably had a fever. There was a little kid that came into the cheesecake factory last night and sneezed on her.

Oh God, she thought she was dying, it was that bad. Her nose was running, her eyes were crusty and she had to look like absolute hell.

Reaching over to the nightstand, she grabbed her phone and held it high above her while still on her back.

_I'm sick_

The message sent and she dropped her phone on her chest and groaned out loud in dramatic agony.

Her phone buzzed.

_Please maintain a good distance from my apartment_

Penny grumbled and drowsily clicked the keys again.

_U have 2 take care of me_ =(

Instead of putting her phone back down, Penny dialed the number of her work.

It rang twice.

"Cheesecake Factory this is Tina."

"Hey," her voice was groggy, she cleared her throat and regretted it as it stung sharply. "Oh God, Tina hey it's Penny."

A pause. "Jesus Kid you sound terrible." Tina was an older woman, the oldest person working at the restaurant. She was only doing it as a second job to help support her son who'd moved back home. "So I guess you're off the swing tonight?"

"I think so, unless… if you guys can't find anyone I'll try and get down there." The idea of actually dragging herself to that place was painful but she needed the money and if she had too, she would.

Tina wasn't having any of that. "We'll find someone, drink fluids and don't do too much." She was a mother, Penny smiled.

"Thanks, Tina." With that Penny hung up and saw that she didn't have a return text from Sheldon. She didn't expect him to actually take care of her, he hated germs and the idea of being sick and having to stop trying to solve the mysteries of the universe.

Still, she wished he would come and be with her, it was times like this that Penny realized she was pretty alone out here.

She had to pee, which meant that she had to move and she really didn't want to do that. Pushing the blankets off the bed, a chill struck her and she started to shiver but pushed on to the bathroom which was colder than her bedroom.

After flushing the toilet and giving herself a quick look in the mirror (which was a terrible mistake) she stepped back into her room.

And there he was.

Wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a red robot on it, his grey undershirt rolled up at the sleeves. He had on rubber gloves and a hospital mask but he was _here._

"Hello," he said through the muffle of his mask.

Penny tiredly smiled. "Hi." Then her eyes fell to the floor and her red Flash t-shirt all balled up next to the laundry basket. Gingerly, she stepped over to it and shoved it behind her and into the darkness of her closet.

Sheldon glanced around the disaster that was her bedroom. "I let myself in, I didn't think you would be up to answering the door. I—I," he hesitated. "Have you ever considered that you may be growing some sort of toxic fungi in this culvert you call a bedroom." She glared at him, it didn't carry much vigor. "Perhaps that caused your illness."

Shaking her head, Penny stumbled back to her bed and crawled into it slowly. Sheldon merely watched as she buried herself in the pillows and under the blankets. "You don't have to do this, Sweetie." She whispered with a soft grin before closing her eyes.

"You have taken care of me when I've fallen ill, I believe it is very much like your premise of our exchanging fears yesterday… you go, I go." He said awkwardly but continued on. "I'm not promising you I'll be here all day but I've told the University that I wouldn't be coming in today, which is just as well because they are offering tours for the potential incoming medical students for next fall and I certainly do not wish to be a part of that."

With her emotions getting the best of her, Penny was on the verge of tears as he stepped over to the side of her bed. "Thank you," she whispered and gave a watery smile.

He returned a tight smile. "What are your symptoms?"

"My throat, my head… I think I might have a fever and…," Penny flushed and smiled. "Are you gonna rub vapo rub on my chest?" She knew flirting was weak with Sheldon, especially when she looked like death, but maybe he'd take sympathy on her.

Sheldon simply shrugged. "If your ailments require it I _suppose_ I could." He didn't catch her tone, nor did he notice the look on her face when he said it.

Penny started to pray to whomever was listening that her _ailments _required it.

"Do you have a thermometer?" He asked, adjusting the mask over his face.

She nodded. "In the top drawer to the right of the sink in the kitchen."

And he was off to retrieve it and Penny found her heart fluttering in her chest and almost outdueling every single sickness she was currently experiencing. He came to take care of her, took a day off from work to be with her.

His mother raised him well, raised him to take care of a friend in need. Still, a part of Penny wanted to believe that he would never do this for Leonard.

"He wouldn't," she mumbled softly to herself before he came back and uncapped the casing on her thermometer.

It was electronic and he powered it on and hovered over her, she took a deep breath and smelt the air around him. "Oatmeal." She whispered and he looked at her oddly. "Monday." She smiled.

"Very good," Sheldon said with a small smile playing in his eyes. "Open," he ordered and she obeyed.

He slipped the thermometer under her tongue and Penny never took her gaze off him.

She was so tired after a late shift and waking up with this cold that attacked her so fast it was like the Cylon's invaded the Battlestar, her mind wasn't right, she wanted to touch him.

She didn't.

The thermometer beeped and he took it from between her lips and checked. His brows furrowed. "102, Penny you have a very high temperature."

"I feel it," she said softly before closing her eyes.

Sheldon sighed above her and when she opened her eyes again he was looking behind him. She wondered for a moment if he was plotting an escape from her.

"Very well, I'm going to pour you a glass of orange juice and run a washcloth under some cold water for you to place on your forehead." He started to exit her room. "Rest is also necessary, Penny. If you feel the urge to sleep, do so."

Penny went in and out of sleep for the next five minutes. She felt the cold rag drape across the top of her head and then the sound of Sheldon taking off his shoes in the other room and setting them by her door.

He was staying… that was her last thought before falling asleep.

* * *

Penny's body was trembling, she could feel every single part of her aching to be touched.

The cream was warm against her skin, she could feel his fingers, uncovered, moving across her chest. Their eyes were locked, blue and green and she wanted to tug her shirt down even further and let his hands explore whatever they wanted.

When he started to move closer to her, she almost shouted at him that he was going to get sick. Her voice died on his lips as he kissed her.

Instinctively, her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him in close, the vapo rub on her chest was melding together with his. He pulled away and stripped off his shirts, both of them, in one swift motion and they fell on the floor in a heap.

He was kissing her again but only for a moment before he jerked his head away and tore her pajama top open, buttons flying across the room as her body was exposed to him.

Kisses were dropped across her stomach, he dipped his tongue in her belly button and licked all the way up to her neck before latching onto her mouth once more.

"Oh God…." She whispered, her voice breaking as he tugged on her bottom lip and tried to sink his gaze into her. "Sheldon, please…," she moaned and he smirked.

Leaning back slowly, he grabbed the vapo rub from the nightstand and ran his first two fingers through it. Holding a good dab now, he gently dolloped a bit onto each of her breasts and then started to kneed them with his hands.

She arched herself into his grip, grasping and pawing at his chest and stomach, at any bit of his warm skin she could find while he touched her.

"You're beautiful," he called to her, shifting so he had a leg on either side of her, he let her go and started to pull at the drawstring of her sweatpants.

Penny swallowed the heavy lump in her throat, her heart racing with an intensity she could never measure. It was scary how fast her pulse was racing, she gripped the bed sheets as if she was trying to hold onto this moment forever.

The heat she'd built up inside of her sweats was altered with each inch they were lowered from her and the chill of uncover hit her. She quivered when his hands grazed deep inside of her thighs, parting them.

He lowered his head to where she waited for him. Her hands lost in his hair, his soft and wonderful hair.

She felt his tongue run up her, softly and wet… he pulled back and blew on the newly moistened area just to hear her moan.

She did.

"Ohh…,"

Her eyes opened to see him standing above her, mask on his face and confusion in his eyes. Sheldon held a trashcan in one hand and was dropping her scattered Kleenexes into it. "Are you… okay?" He asked, clearly lost.

Penny felt her body ache, it made her forget she was sick for a moment. "Yeah, bad dream." His brow quirked. "Okay not so bad."

"Right," he murmured before setting down the trash can with an eye roll.

Turning away from her for a moment, he grabbed the vapo rub off the nightstand and looked at her.

Her heart stopped, yes it did.

"Your breathing has been a bit stressful, would you like me to rub some of this one your chest."

If he started… she wouldn't be able to stop.

Quickly, she took it from him with a shy smile. "I—I'll do it."

* * *

The next time Penny woke up, she felt worse. Her head was so filled with fluid she thought it was floating. Her throat hurt and her neck was horribly stiff.

There was a distant sound of a marker squeaking that was all too familiar and as she slowly pushed herself up to glance out the bedroom door, she saw his back hovering over a whiteboard as he scribbled away.

At any point before a few days ago, she would roll her eyes and go back to sleep, but today… she was entranced by his motions. The way his back muscles flexed when he started to speed up his movements. How he swayed on his feet from side to side and occasionally swung the marker between his long fingers as he thought.

Penny knew she was in trouble.

That was when she sneezed and he turned to her and quickly lifted the mask off his neck and back over his face.

"Penny?" He called before stepping into her room as she lulled her head back on the pillow and looked at him. "I've went to my apartment and procured you some medicine." He said before reaching to her nightstand and lifting up a bottle of red syrup.

She groaned like a small child. "I don't want any!" Penny cried.

Of course, Sheldon ignored her. "I won't stay here and take care of you if you are unwilling to take measures to get better."

"Fine," that did the trick, the rat bastard.

It all happened rather slowly for Penny, she felt his hand slip under her back, being careful that there was no skin to skin contact as his sleeves were down and he still had the gloves on. But he lifted her back up off the bed and then gently cradled her head in his large palm and offered her a poured cup of the medicine.

Penny slid her eyes askew to look at him, she wanted to kiss him but she knew that _would _send him running. "Thank you," she said in a shaky voice that carried far more emotion than it should. It wasn't for this, for taking care of her. It was for just being him and being a part of her life.

Sheldon nodded slowly and tipped the cup at her lips. She opened her mouth and he poured it in, Penny swallowed heavily and started to gag a little but it all went down.

"You look quite terrible, Penny. A visit to the hospital might be the best thing—,"

She cut him off almost dangerously. "No!" He backed away and she softened. "Please, I hate hospitals… I just need some sleep."

"Alright," he had that innocent tone in his voice, she'd scared him and she knew it. "I'll be in the living room."

As he was about to leave, Penny called to him. "Sheldon?" She asked and wondered why her voice sounded like a small child. "Will you sing Soft Kitty to me?"

"I—I," he shut his mouth and his eye twitched a bit, but he slowly began to sway towards the bed with his hands behind his back.

When he sat, his back was to her but he looked to her over his shoulder. He was nervous; she could tell that the idea of singing to someone was not in his comfort zone.

Again she hoped that it was her, Sheldon Cooper would not sing Soft Kitty to Raj or Howard if they were sick.

"I will be able to sing this alone? Correct?"

Penny smiled with her eyes closed. "Correct."

He shifted next to her. "S—soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur." He adjusted himself again, when Penny opened her eyes, he was looking right at her. "Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur… pur.. pur."

She didn't say anything after that and he sang through it one more time before standing up and saying something about Amy asking to come by and take over for him. She was almost desperate now for him to leave, it was too _hard_.

"Ok," her voice was weak and didn't carry well but it was the best she could muster.

When he left her bedroom, the tears came; she closed her eyes but never slept.

* * *

The day wore on and Penny remained quiet in her room, ignoring Sheldon when he peeked in to check on her. She had her head buried in the covers, her fever down a bit but she'd rather melt from overheating then look at him right then.

Penny knew when Amy showed up, she could hear them talking about this and that, something about Amy's monkeys and then Sheldon informed Amy of her condition. Penny listened as he went all technical with his big words for 'she feels like shit' and of course, Amy understood it all.

If Amy couldn't get Sheldon's attention by drawing on his true love of science, Penny was hopeless.

And why did she care so much about him anyways, he wasn't what she used to go for in a boy. Sure Leonard wasn't either but at least Leonard offered her affection, sure he smothered her with it sometimes but Sheldon would never give her any of that. She wouldn't be able to consider a relationship as just sitting next to each other on a couch and not touching. She had to kiss and hug and hold and… love.

That word had become public enemy number one in Penny's heart. It did not belong in sentences that involved Sheldon Cooper.

When she felt his presence near her again, and God yes she was _feeling _him now, Penny covered herself deeper in the blankets and stayed quiet.

It was moments later that her door shut and Penny knew Sheldon was gone. Sighing heavily, she pushed her blankets down and squealed when she saw Amy hovering over her.

"Ames!" Penny croaked as her throat stung. "Hey," she painted on a meek smile.

The brunette grinned softly. "Hey Bestie, though your natural colors are quite becoming I must say that pale and pasty do not work well on anyone, even you which is rather surprising." Amy then reached out with an uncovered hand like any sane person would and touched Penny's forehead. "You're still warm, Sheldon informed me of your high temperature earlier. If you like I could hold you up while you showered under some cold water." Penny's brow shifted to a worried tilt. "I'm really okay with getting cold, I mean, if you're worried about discomfort I could shed my clothing and step in as well. It's very common practice to bathe together in numerous cultures."

"No, thanks but I'll pass on the cold shower, I don't think I could walk that far anyways." Penny sighed sadly. "I'm just tired."

Amy smiled. "Ah yes, Sheldon told me that I needed to bring you something for sleep." She started digging in her purse. "Here, NyQuil!" She held up the green bottle. "I'll have to monitor your dosage carefully, my cousin once got hooked on this and started offering fellacio's to anyone who would score him some 'green sugar', as he was too poor to go out and purchase his own at the time."

"Wow," it was all Penny could say, her mind blank with any follow up words.

"Yes, he was quite a disappointment to the family at the time, he's better now and living with his mother, he's a waiter."

Penny nodded awkwardly. "Good for him."

Amy then poured a small cup and held it out to Penny who could at least sit on her own strength now. "Here."

"Thank you," Penny swallowed it down in a rush, smacking her lips as her eyes watered from the taste. "Ugh! The worse medicine ever and I thought the red stuff Sheldon gave me was awful."

As Penny let her head fall back onto the pillow, she felt the silence hanging heavy in the air. Looking at Amy, the brunette was rocking slightly in her seat. "Sheldon seemed very worried about you."

"He's been good to me today." Penny mumbled, ignoring the tug at her heart.

Amy cleared her throat. "I remember when I fell ill two months ago I didn't see him for six days after my initial telling to him that I wasn't well."

The guilt came and Penny let it wash over her. Amy did care about Sheldon, it wasn't anything epic and over time it would matter less than Kurt did to Penny, but the wound was still fresh. "I think he's afraid I'll spit in his cheeseburger if he doesn't help me."

"You wouldn't though." Amy said much to quickly and Penny felt her chest tighten. "I mean… no matter what Sheldon did to you or how much he upset you, and I know from experience that he has… you wouldn't do anything to upset his life."

Penny shook her head. "I've done plenty to upset his life."

"Never intentionally, never to the point where you wish to maliciously hurt him. Nothing like when Ricky started leaving excrement in my pillowcases when I switched him to light 100 cigarettes in February. Those were certainly not the soft comforts offered by the people at Posterpedic."

Despite her general disgust at Amy's example, Penny knew this was headed into dangerous territory. "He's a good friend," Penny mumbled, her fatigue catching up with her. "You're a good friend." She whispered again and smiled when Amy smiled. "Sheldon just doesn't understand, you know?"

Amy slid her chair a bit closer to the bed. "I'm afraid I don't… could you elaborate?"

Penny shook her head, the bedroom was spinning around her. "I can't… it doesn't make sense to me either… I don't know."

"Do you wish Sheldon was here now, Penny?" Amy asked, her own voice betraying her. Penny nodded, her proper mind nearly gone. "Why?"

"Because... I love him."


	7. The Harrowing Heat Wave

**The Harrowing Heat Wave**

Sheldon Cooper was the kind of boy Penny's friends laughed at in high school. He was immature and arrogant. He collected toys and comic books, he loved trains to an absolute fault and the very idea of wearing jeans seemed foreign to him. He was lanky and skinny, half of the people she worked with at the Cheesecake Factory thought he was gay.

They didn't fit, Penny knew that. She was outgoing and fun, she loved to be around people and wear fancy clothes. She was a hugger and a hand holder, she loved to kiss and be intimate.

For all intents and purposes… they didn't belong together.

But she loved him. It wasn't even a thought she hid from anymore. It wasn't even the idea of him, the idea of this genius boy who was everything she never wanted. No it was him because Leonard was smart enough to challenge her every single day, but it didn't hurt like this with Leonard. A part of Penny wondered if it was the race to try and catch him, the idea of trying to seduce him. But no… because she wasn't looking to change who he was, she didn't want him to suddenly wear jeans or tousle his hair. There was no desire for him to give up on the things he loved or not stop and awe whenever he saw a train set in the window of a toy store.

It was every single one of those things that she adored about him. It was him, no one else in the world but him had ever made her skin go numb at the touch, her mind go blank with a look.

Even today when she was hit on by a customer who not only had an accent, but was a writer and an artist with broad shoulders and magnificent cheek bones, she turned him away.

He was only wearing one shirt and it didn't have the logo of a comic book character on it. That just wouldn't do for her anymore.

Penny dated lately to find love, she didn't have too anymore.

It was the last thought that crossed her mind after Amy went on about her poopy pillowcases but she fell asleep in the sweet feeling of her love for him.

That was two days ago and though she was still dealing with a bit of the sniffles, she was well enough to work and desperate enough for money to drag herself there yesterday. She thought they might fire her if she missed hamburger day.

Penny quietly likes that she's the only one who can handle Sheldon's hamburger order. The only one he allows too.

What was odd however was the distance she'd felt from the both of them upon her getting well. Sure she'd been busy with work and her newest audition for a cat litter commercial that she was just now coming home from, but still… she missed them.

Amy wouldn't answer her phone which was strange, though she most likely assumed it had something to do with her work, Amy, like Sheldon, was not opposed to isolation when her research was making strides.

Penny wasn't letting that bother her tonight though, it was Wednesday and she wasn't on the schedule at work. For the first time… ever, she was absolutely giddy about Halo night.

She was in her apartment and putting on her favorite pair of sweats when her cell phone rang.

"Uh," she answered awkwardly as she didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Penny?" The voice was a bit muffled, but she knew it well enough.

At the door to leave her apartment, she stopped. "Leonard… hey." She tried to sound chipper but the tone died in her throat. It had been a little over a week and Leonard hadn't even sent her a text, now he was calling. "How's New Jersey?"

The sounds of a honking horn filled the earpiece and she pulled it away. "Sorry, traffic is crazy here but we're all having a really good time."

"Oh," she smiled a bit at the clear happiness in his voice. "Well good, I'm glad you guys are enjoying it."

Leonard cleared his throat. "Yeah, how's everything back home, has Sheldon burned down the village yet?"

A soft hint of anger rose up in Penny's chest and it confused the holy hell out of her. Leonard was teasing, he always did about Sheldon… but it made her defensive. "No, we're doing fine. I was about to head over and fill your spot in Halo."

"I do miss Halo night," Leonard said a bit dreamily before laughing softly. "It's good to know that everything is still pretty much the same."

Penny's stomach flipped over at the insinuation that things were_ normal. _So far from normal that if she were to tell him the truth, Leonard would probably pass out in the middle of the New Jersey turnpike. "Yeah, pretty much."

A small pause rose between them and Penny started to tap her foot. Thankfully, Leonard found his voice. "So listen the reason I called," She felt her eyes close in a bit of remorse, she didn't love Leonard in the same ways he did, sure. But a part of her wished that her _friend _had actually called to talk to her. "I need Amy's number."

This drew Penny's attention. "Amy? Why?"

"We're going to this really great lecture on neurobiology and it's going to have some Q and A and a little give and take and I'd like to pick her brain about it so I don't look like an idiot just sitting there." He finished with a laugh and Penny softened.

She ran off Amy's number to him and checked the clock. It was 8:03, no doubt Amy and Sheldon were back from the comic book store and he was impatiently waiting for her on the couch. "Listen, I really should get over to Sheldon's before he gives me a strike or something."

"Oh yeah true, he'll probably give me one for keeping you on the phone. It uh, it was good to hear your voice Penny." He said and she knew it was a lie because it wasn't a thrill for her to hear his voice either. "Have fun blowing up Sheldon."

Penny smiled despite herself. "I will, be safe."

With that she hung up and tossed her phone onto the couch, not wishing for any disturbances to Halo night.

Walking across the hall she was right in her assumption as Sheldon eyed her dangerously and held his controller tight between his fingers. She saw an open container of Indian food waiting for her and smiled, she was starving.

She smiled of course and rubbed Amy's shoulder as she brushed past her and took her spot on the couch next to him.

"Sorry sweetie, Leonard called me so you can blame him."

Sheldon scoffed. "Oh, I will." He then fired the game up.

Penny then turned to Amy sitting on the far cushion of the couch to her left. She smiled as she always did and when it was returned, it lacked something. It didn't reach her friends eyes and at first Penny thought it was the glare from the kitchen light off her glasses but that wasn't right. Amy was upset about something, Penny could tell. "Hey, you okay?" She asked quietly and away from Sheldon.

"I'm fine." Amy responded flatly, but nothing different from her usual tone. "Today was just a slow and underachieving experience. Nothing new, I suppose, just slicing open brains and trying to figure out why they failed their owners. Plucking out tumors like the way monkey's pick ticks off the backs of one another. Though I don't eat the tumors afterwards."

A bit of bile rose up in her throat as she dropped the piece of food she was about to eat back into the tray and shook the image from her head. "Right,"

Once the game started things were quiet save for Sheldon's cries of foul whenever Penny would kill him. Amy didn't play so it was just the two of them and whatever bunch of players they could find online.

Penny could feel Amy watching her and not in the normal way she would sometimes. There was no adoration and joy in her eyes, it was a study, as if she were trying to tell Penny something but had lost the words.

An hour passed and when Penny took Sheldon down for the eighteenth time that night, he stood up and slammed his controller onto his spot.

Both girls jumped, but Penny was grinning. "What's the matter, MoonPie?" She teased and he glowered at her.

"Don't," his warn was simple and direct and to be honest… it shut her up.

She raised her hands in surrender. "Sorry, we'll take a break." Penny said before returning to her food. As Sheldon stalked off to the kitchen to dispose of his trash, Penny turned back to Amy who was sitting very still on the end of the couch. "Come on, Ames, talk to me… that's what best friends are for, right?"

"Do you remember the evening that you were ill in bed and I cared for you?" Amy asked, her tone still too quiet.

Penny nodded. "Of course, you started talking about Ricky putting poo in your pillow and then something… disturbing about your cousin and I passed out." While she spoke, Penny tried to replay that night in her head to find something that could have been done to upset her friend. This had to be the reason Amy hadn't answered her calls. Penny had had tiffs before with her friends, but those ones didn't matter because those people didn't matter. With Amy, Penny held more responsibility, Amy's heart wasn't strong enough to be hurt by her first real friend.

That's why her feelings for Sheldon had to stay locked away and eat at her insides. Better she die from quiet hurt than wound anyone else in her wake.

"That must be where the medicine took away your cognitive thought process. That's quite interesting. Listen… Penny may I speak with you for a moment?" Amy stood. "Outside?" Confused, Penny rose to her feet and followed before giving a weak excuse to Sheldon about girl talk.

Once the door shut, Penny took a sip of her soda and watched as Amy fidgeted from side to side. "You're in love with Sheldon." Amy's voice was quick and sudden, like the swinging of a blade right through Penny's chest.

The soda can she was holding fell heavy on the ground, fizzing as its contents spilled onto the carpet below them.

Penny backed into Sheldon's closed apartment door as if she'd just been slapped. "Amy?" She whispered and covered her mouth.

"No, no… I'm not upset Penny. Baffled yes but anger is not an emotion I am feeling."

She started to shake her head violently. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

In a flash, Amy had Penny gathered up in her arms and was patting her like a small child.

Penny wasn't crying, she was just shaking and clinging to her _best _friend for dear life.

"I must say I have never seen this before." Amy stated flatly as she stroked her hands through Penny's hair. "You seem to be in a state of emotional shock… in the words of my mother the day I came home with head lice, you got it bad!"

Laughing in spite of herself, Penny pulled away and took a long, steadying breath. "It doesn't matter. If he turned you away I don't stand a chance."

"You think that I'm a better mate?"

"For Sheldon, absolutely, you're smart and fun and beautiful… you're everything he could want, you can talk to him… I—I'm just a waitress and I failed science three times in high school. I don't know what's happening to me, it's _Sheldon _and I'm going insane over him."

Amy was shaking her head with a lopsided smile. "Humble and beautiful, if I was a man I'd have bought you a Winnebago and we'd be traveling the country together, making love in front of various landmarks across the country. I wrote a Melrose Place fanfiction story kind of like that once, you see—"

"Amy," Penny cut her off with an awkward smile. "You can't tell Sheldon."

"Oh no, I would never break the girl code."

Penny nodded slowly. "Right… the girl code."

That's when Sheldon's door opens and Penny squealed as she began to fall over because she was leaning against it.

Of course Sheldon caught her; she held her breath in his arms and stares into his eyes. His gaze was irritated, but his grip is strong and protective and Penny knew she was reading far too much into every single movement he made. But dammit he caught her, her hero.

_Fuck… _she was in deep.

Almost a second later, Sheldon was practically pushing her up to her feet and wiping his hands on his khaki pants. "While you two sows were out mucking through the slop out here, I was preparing us for another round of Halo."

"Did he just call us female pigs?" Penny asked, remembering when her daddy used to tell her to wrestle up the sows for wash.

Amy crossed her arms over her chest. "I think we find a new activity for tonight, something that all three of us can partake in."

Both Penny and Sheldon sent her a worried look. Sheldon's changed rather quickly to dismissal but Penny could see the scheming in her friend's eyes.

"Tonight is Halo night, Amy. I'm sorry if you do not care to participate or learn the rules and controls of the game but that is your own choice, we will not be changing." With that, Sheldon sat down on the couch and picked up his controller. That was when Amy stepped in front of the television and shut it off.

Sheldon gasped and Penny covered her mouth to hide her slight smile. "Amy… you are on your way to earning a strike."

"Ooh," she feigned fear and waved her hands in the air. "You cannot begrudge strikes upon me because you and I do not have any written documentation that binds us to each other in any way. For all intents and purposes, I am merely a strange traveler who has wandered into your apartment in search of shelter and fresh hooch."

Penny decided to step in. "Sheldon, sweetie do we really have to play Halo and leave poor Amy out?"

"I have a third controller, she _could_ join us."

"Nope." Amy said easily before smiling toothily at Sheldon.

With a heavy sigh, Sheldon stood and licked his lips. "Then I must ask you to leave, I will speak with you at the University tomorrow."

"You can't kick her out!" Penny cried but Amy was already heading for the door.

"It's fine, I should probably get home anyways, my neighbor is a sleepwalker and if I don't make it back to my apartment before he falls asleep he'll catch me in the hallway and try and make me eat the eggs he believes he's 'cooked' on his kitchen table. He is quite handsome though, I'm hoping one day he'll sleep knock on my door and then sleep mount me up against some sort of wall or doorframe." She smirked a bit and then winked slightly at Penny. "Enjoy your evening, Bestie."

Then she was gone and Penny was burying her face in her hands. Amy had intentionally gotten herself kicked out so they would be alone.

A part of her was grateful to be alone with Sheldon but the other was scared shitless. Being alone with Sheldon wasn't good for her, he was a different person when they were alone. He listened to her, talked to her without the constraints of any surrounding force. He was himself with her, more so than he was in any other situation and she knew it.

If anything, being alone with him would make getting over him that much harder.

But like the good little masochist she was, Penny craved the misery of her love.

Quietly, she sat down next to him on the couch in what she desperately referred to as _her _spot and accepted the controller from him with a smile.

They played in the silence of one another for another hour.

* * *

Penny found it pleasantly odd that even ten minutes after he'd shut the Xbox off, he still hadn't asked her to leave. He had moved to his computer desk and was typing away at his keyboard while she sat on the couch, totally leaning over in his spot, and watched reruns of Friends.

"This was one of Missy's many misconceptions." Sheldon said casually as Penny muted the TV.

"What?"

He turned a bit to face her. "When the show you are watching first came on she watched the pilot episode and proclaimed that it would not last to a second season. The show then went on for ten and she was wrong."

Her brow quirked. "You remember that," then her mind caught up to his crazy. "Right… eidetic memory… I forgot." Sheldon grinned softly, without force and it made Penny swallow a new lump in her throat. "I love this show."

"It doesn't surprise me. It plays to the hormonal instincts within you to find love and friendship and all of those many things that have plagued society for years."

That was why she hated being so head over heels about him. "Why are you so against feeling anything?"

He shrugged. "Did you know that the largest known ant supercolony was on the Ishikari coast of Hokkaidō, Japan. The colony was estimated to contain 306 million worker ants and one million queen ants living in 45,000 nests interconnected by underground passages over an area of 2.7 kilometers."

Penny's eyes went wide and her body itched with invisible bugs. "Wh—what does that have to do with anything?"

"Without emotions and the ties that we humans all seem to be bound by, ants have, with limited size and mobility, created wondrous things that would seem far beyond their reach. If our society took that approach to living… perhaps this world would be far greater than it is now."

A small smile played on her lips as he watched her and waited. "if we all acted like ants… who would sing you Soft Kitty when you're sick?"

Penny got him, she knew it the second he tried to speak and failed. Triumph filled her body as she thought for only a moment and let out a low sigh. "I suppose if we had neighboring plots in the colony, I would still ask you." It was a joke and he exhaled his breathy little laugh and refocused on his work.

She hated the affect he had on her, without even trying she was ready to hand over her soul to him. She couldn't give him her heart, the bastard already had that. "What are you doing over there?" She asked softly, trying to peer past him to the screen.

"Working on a presentation I must give next Monday." He said simply before turning back to the screen.

Penny wasn't really interested in anything else about it, she didn't try to talk about his work with him. Usually those conversations made her feel stupid, made him feel superior and led them fighting which Penny knew now would only make her want to jump him.

Feeling a bit buzzed (she had drank a little bit of wine that she'd grabbed from her apartment in the middle of Halo) she took a risk. "Why don't you come and sit with me, I'll let you pick the show we watch."

"I'm busy." He said passively and never stopped typing.

She frowned and pouted her lips out a bit. "Please, it's cold over here." That was a lie, it was at least ninety degrees in his apartment.

He sighed heavily and turned around again to look at her. There was something he had prepared to say but when he looked at her it died on his lips. She noticed that he looked away quickly and it made her flush a heavy crimson.

"Come on," she pleaded again. "I won't even complain if it's animated."

It was hot in the summer in Pasadena, Penny knew this… and she also knew that she was carrying with her a slight glisten on the exposed skin of her collarbone and cleavage. Her hair felt faintly damp and sticky atop her head. She was tipsy and lonely and in love with the boy who was slowly rising from his computer chair and moving too her.

He slid down slowly into his spot, he was hot too and she couldn't blame him with both of his shirts on and those pants and… Penny couldn't stop herself from slipping over just a little bit closer to him.

As he took the remote, Sheldon quickly found an episode of an animated Star Wars show on his TIVO and started it up.

"You smell good," Penny said and wanted to bury herself in a pit for sounding so stupid.

Sheldon slanted a gaze at her. "I shower frequently." He then refocused on the television. "Your marginally intoxicated state is unpleasant."

Penny frowned. "Sorry,"

"No need to apologize."

Suddenly she was trying to sober up, to find those traces of intelligence inside of her that would draw her away from him. She could feel the heat coming off his body, she wondered what kind of heat they could make together.

She realized she was sitting overwhelmingly straight and very aware of every single part of her body.

Each inch of her ached with a want to reach out and touch him, she wanted to kiss him and maybe run her fingers through his hair.

But when she looked at him, he was idle and focused on his show, paying her no mind at all.

That was when she lost control and slowly lowered her head to his shoulder. He was warm and if she closed her eyes and pretended, perhaps he was welcoming to her presence in his personal space.

When he shrugged her off, the vision was shattered. "Perhaps you should, as they say, sleep it off Penny, you're not of your right mind at the moment."

"I know." She whispered sadly, he would never be the guy in her dreams.

Penny stood on shaky legs and offered a weak goodnight before retreating to her own apartment like a properly scolded puppy.

The moment she stepped inside she heard her phone buzzing its long, left over message buzz against the material of her couch cushion.

Walking over in a rush, she picked it up and her jaw went slack.

_16 Missed Calls_

Swallowing hard, she pressed a button and saw that most of them were from her mother, two from her sister and a few from her parent's landline.

She quickly called back her mother, frantic now to find sobriety.

It only rang once when the call was answered.

"Penny?" It was her father.

She settled on the arm of the couch. "Dad, what's wrong?" She knew it was something, in the pit of her stomach… she knew.

"It's…," when her dad cleared his throat to fight back tears, Penny's fell like waterfalls. "Penny your brother's gone."

Her heart sank. "He ran away! Dad that'll only make it worse for him."

"No, Slugger… no." He never called her that anymore, she thought might be sick. "He's gone… he killed himself."

"What?" She cried, nearly dropping her phone as she slid into the cushions of the couch as each limb of her body went numb.

On the other end, she heard a few scattered voices before the deep and commanding tone of her dad returned. "Penny, honey can you find any way to get out here… your mother needs you."

"Oh God… Daddy." She was crying now, steadily and rocking back and forth in her spot. "I'll… find a way to get there tomorrow… I'll find a way… oh Billy." She bit her lip hard to stop from sobbing and exchanged a weak goodbye with her dad before hanging up.

All she could see was Billy when he was ten years old, riding his bike up and down the driveway of the farm. Wearing that stupid Ninja Turtles shirt and chasing after the chickens only to be yelled at by their mom.

Penny tried to stand and stumbled hard over her coffee table. She was pretty sure she broke her pinky toe but her feet kept moving as she left her apartment in a haze, unsure of if she even shut the door behind her.

She knocked softly a few times after turning the knob to find it locked.

It only took him a few seconds to answer, it felt like an hour.

Sheldon took in the sight of her, she could feel the worry in his eyes for not only her but himself as he didn't handle any of this well.

Tentatively, he spoke. "What's happened?"

"My brother… he's…," she couldn't finish it and Sheldon didn't need her too.

He stepped away from the door and she stumbled in. Penny heard him race across the hall behind her and she knew he was closing her door.

When he came back she was sitting in her spot, knees curled up under her chin but she was no longer crying… just in a fog.

Slowly, he moved back to his spot and sat down, turning the TV off and awkwardly placing his hands on his knees.

Penny felt him moving before she saw him, he fidgeted and must have rethought his approach ten times before she felt his arm drape over her shoulder finally.

She sunk into his body, ignoring his quivers of discomfort and relishing in the fact that he didn't stop holding her.

Her dad's voice had made her cry earlier, for now she was just dazed, unable to cry the tears that were damming up at the backs of her eyes.

Through the night, Sheldon never let her go.


	8. The Torturous Twilight

**The Torturous Twilight **

Twenty minutes passed before Penny tore herself away from the moist center of Sheldon's t-shirt. It was hot already, but her body against him and the chaos she was wrecking on him had to be dismantling his senses.

Penny couldn't form a solid thought. She went from wanting to pack, to wanting to crawl into her bed and at one point she just wanted to break something.

Instead she did nothing.

Beyond the mourning, perhaps even thicker than the sadness was her anger.

Finally, she pulled away and though he sighed in relief, he didn't up and run for the bathroom. Penny threw her head back against the cushion of the couch behind her and covered her face with her hands.

Her mind couldn't wrap around the truest meaning behind tonight. She kept trying to think about the fact that this little boy she grew up with, fought with and sat next to during Christmas opening presents was gone now. That they would all grow old and one day bring their own kids down to the farm for a holiday or an anniversary and he wouldn't be there. They would only talk about him and the good parts of his life. There were so few after he lost the innocence of youth.

There were so few… she couldn't even picture what he looked like the last time she saw him. He was… maybe 25 or26, scruffy beard… or was it shaved?

She couldn't see the man he'd become, all she could see was him at 12 years old and that made it harder, picturing that boy who used to help her up to the tree fort he'd built in a scattering of brush just beyond the reach of the small pond the animals would drink from.

At 15… she could see him. With his friends and ignoring her when she asked to go back to the tree house. He didn't want his little sister tagging along and he told her as much in a blunt way meant to hurt her and make his buddies laugh.

They did, she cried and after they'd gone he brought her ice cream and watched silly Disney movies with her to make her happy. She loved her big brother even as he tried to distance himself.

Then he was 18… she was 15… and he saved her.

At that party she wasn't supposed to go too, he was already there and she remembered seeing him kissing girls and smoking from that big pipe that bubbled with water, back then she was oblivious to what it was, she knew now it was merely a starting point.

Those boys started talking to her at the party, they gave her a drink and she got really tired. They were carrying her to a bedroom and laughing, she was laid on a bed and watched them taking their shirts off.

Billy burst through the door and fought them, they hurt him, he didn't stop and then the police came as he carried her out to his car and drove away.

He never told on her for that night, she only later realized what he had actually done for her, what he'd saved her from.

Her first hero was gone now as she'd settled in the awkward comforts of her newest savior. She hated needing saved, she was stronger than that… but her body was shut down tonight, she'd let him rescue her.

That was when Sheldon rose from his spot and Penny let out an exhausted sigh and lolled her head to the side as he retrieved a glass of water and brought it to her. "No… thank you," she whispered but he shook his head.

"You've sweated immensely, Penny. With the addition of tears you risk dehydration… drink."

Glancing down at herself, he was right. She was soaked through and her red top was much darker with the coloring of moisture. Penny's hand found her hair; it was wet, almost dripping as if she'd just showered.

"Thank you," she said, taking the water and drinking it haphazardly as it ran down her chin and exposed skin of her collarbone.

Sheldon took the glass from her, ignoring the agony of seeing water hit his carpet and couch; he carried it back to the kitchen.

Penny leaned forward, elbows rested against her knees as she held her chin up by the balled combination of her hands. Her left leg was shaking rapidly, uncontrollably. "I have to book a flight home."

"I can take care of that for you." Sheldon said with distant eyes as he returned to the couch but didn't sit.

She wondered for a moment if he was worried she'd cling to him again. It was not bad logic on his part, she probably would have. "You don't have too—"

He waved her off. "I am well versed in work on the internet, I can calculate the numbers quickly and find you a fair price."

A tear fell down her cheek, she hadn't even felt it coming and made no attempt to wipe it away. She wanted to cry, she felt as if she wasn't grieving _enough. _Her brother had just taken his own life and she was having normal conversations about booking flights.

It didn't feel right, as if she couldn't really grasp it all. She wanted to be inconsolable, to be desperate for some kind of sleep or escape but she was steady… save the shake in her leg that wouldn't stop.

Sheldon moved to his computer desk and sat down, he almost asked with his eyes if she was okay with him not being near her in that moment.

Her silence was the answer, adjusting to sink into the back of the couch and curl her legs underneath her.

Twenty minutes passed with no noise but her occasional shifting on the couch and his fingers dusting over the keys of his computer.

"There… 11:40 tomorrow." He said as the printer underneath his desk started to fire up.

Penny looked at him with alarm. "You didn't even get my credit card number?"

He bent down and picked up her itinerary. "There was no need; I am much more financially stable than you."

"Sheldon!" Finally… she had something to be mad about, something in front of her that she could attack. "I can take care of myself! I can buy my own plane ticket!"

He was hesitant as he took a step towards her and held out the sheet.

She grabbed it and slammed it down with the impact of her palm on the coffee table.

"I—I never said you were unable to buy a ticket… Penny, I was merely trying to help."

Her bottom lip was quivering as she punched him hard in the chest. Sheldon stumbled back into a stool at the counter and looked at her with a hint of fear. "Penny…,"

Then she took a threatening step towards him. "I can take care of myself!" She cried, again punching him in the chest, but it was now shielded with his arms. For a moment he thought she'd broken his forearm with the impact. "I don't need you to coddle me! I'm a grown woman! I can buy a PLANE TICKET!"

The cry was primal, he was certain the neighbors heard it. She was shaking, he feared she may go into some sort of convulsions. "Your brother's death is not your fault." Sheldon said softly.

Penny's eyes shot up at him as if he'd just poured liquid fire all over her body. She went wide eyed and rigid, her tear ducts turning into faucets as they poured water down her cheeks. Her expression never changed, as if she'd seen a ghost while her skin paled.

"I stopped…," she mumbled and then covered her mouth as if the biggest secret in the world had just been revealed.

"Stopped what?" He prodded, keeping his distance and guard up.

Her head shook violently, blonde hair flying from side to side. "I stopped calling him, stopped talking to him… I—I, maybe I could have been there for him… I could have… _dammit… Sheldon." _The call of his name was more a plea for help and he relaxed and moved around behind her. His hand resting on the flat of her back, he guided her up the step that led to the hallway and he took them to the comfort of his bedroom, mostly for his own sanity and need to feel safe.

"Sit," he softly demanded and she took solace on the foot of his bed. "Do not move." Again his tone didn't match the order and a second later he was gone from the bedroom.

Sheldon's room was still very much that of a little boy. With posters and action figures everywhere. It was impeccably neat and organized. For some reason she felt safe here, over the last few days she'd dreamed of waking up in here, naked and next to him. Having him hold her and kiss her, God… she wanted to kiss him, to lose herself in that feeling.

Grief was terrible. When she was nineteen and her grandmother died, she went home to the funeral with Kurt. They had sex every chance they got. Because she was too weak to cope and he was too horny to help her grieve.

It did make her feel better at the time, Sheldon was still a man… maybe she could get him to help her.

That was when she started tugging at the damp tank top she was wearing. It clung to her and she ripped it off in one swift motion. She threw it in his laundry basket, putting it on the floor would upset him.

Penny stood shakily and undid the draw string of her sweats and let them slip down her legs. Bending down, she picked them up and put them in the basket as well.

Now she stood in Sheldon's bedroom in a white bra and lacy white panties… yeah… he was a man like every other, he could make her feel better.

When he came back, he stopped in his tracks as she stood before him. Her body on display as she took a slow step towards him.

Sheldon thrust a set of clothing in front of her. "I—I was unsure if the top went with the shorts… Penny what are you doing?"

"Shh," she whispered before reaching up and cupping his cheeks. She kissed him for all she was worth and closed her eyes to wait for his return.

It didn't come, he pulled away fiercely and smacked his head against the wall behind him. "Penny!" He cried and gripped her bare shoulders.

She was shaking again. "Please… Sheldon, I need to forget… you can help me, I want you."

"You are upset and… merely seeking some sort of gratification to distract you. Penny, sex will not make your grief dissipate."

Penny shook her head slowly and grasped at the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up. "It will make me feel good, you feel good… Sheldon I'll make you feel good." He grabbed her wrists with his large hands and their eyes met. The clothes he'd brought for her on the floor between them. "Sheldon, please."

"I will not take advantage of you." His voice was so steady that she nearly seized up at his strong words.

Somehow, his words meant more to her than any bit of comfort sex ever could. She let go of his shirt but kept herself close to him. She smiled weakly… sadly and touched his cheek with the tips of her fingers. "You're a beautiful boy, Sheldon."

Then his fingers wrapped around her hand on his cheek and he lowered it between them but didn't let go. He bent down and picked up the clothes he'd brought and offered them to her again. "You may use our shower and clean yourself up, please save some hot water as I must take one when you're finished." He let her hand go and reached up to brush away a tear from her cheek. That feeling came back in her stomach, that rush of her love for him, it fought her grief away for now, and she sank into his open palm. "You may stay here tonight… in Leonard's room if you like."

"Thank you." She whispered and he pulled away. "For everything."

Sheldon nodded slowly and eyed is laundry basket in the far side of the room. "You put your sweaty clothes in the same basket as mine? Penny… that's a strike."

She smiled. "Agreed," she said softly, maybe the clothes weren't strike worthy to her, but trying to force herself onto him was. "I'll save you some hot water."

"Thank you," the sides of his mouth twitched as he finally walked away from her and returned to the living room.

With each step he took away from her, the agony of her loss returned.

* * *

Penny couldn't sleep.

A feeling she compared to those nights when she thought she'd done well at an audition and knew she'd be getting a phone call the next day from her agent on whether she'd gotten the part or not (she never did). It felt like nerves but it wasn't. It was stress but instead of worrying about something, she was worrying about it being true when the sun came up the next day.

Leonard's room was hot, she was lying on top of his comforter and had no cover over herself. She skipped the workout pants that Sheldon had brought her and laid in her panties and a huge Hard Rock Café t-shirt she'd stolen from Kurt when she left him.

The thought hadn't occurred to her at first that Sheldon had gone into her closet to get these things and could have seen her red t-shirt. He didn't say anything about it though, which wasn't a huge surprise considering the events of the night made her silly fears of that shirt irrelevant.

She knew that going back to Nebraska was going to be hell. Despite his horrible decisions, Billy was his momma's baby and she didn't handle things like this well, let alone with it being her own child.

The idea of burying your child was miserable to Penny, her biggest fears of starting a family were things like that. She was always worrying about the family she left behind in Nebraska, she worried about the family she'd made here. Penny always pictured herself the caregiver, she was here to protect.

With Billy, she'd failed him.

Penny was too tired to cry, too tired to sleep so she rose up from the bed and shuffled through the darkness of the boy's apartment and went into the living room to retrieve the itinerary that Sheldon had gotten for her.

She hated her reaction to his kindness, punching him and taking out the emotions she couldn't deal with on him.

The sheet of paper detailing her day tomorrow was on the table. Her flight wasn't until eleven which she was grateful for since it was 2:30 and she had yet to sleep. In the morning she'd call the Cheesecake Factory and dip into her vacation, she had two weeks left, that's how long she planned on staying.

So much for going to Comic Con with Sheldon.

"Yeah because that's more important than your brother… Jesus Penny." She groaned and scolded herself.

A rustling from the hallway drew Penny's attention to the sound. She looked just in time to see Sheldon shuffle out of his room and he didn't notice her in the living room. He moved quietly to Leonard's room and peeked in through the door.

He was checking on her.

Penny had never in her life felt a love for someone like she did for him in that moment. It scared the hell out of her.

When he didn't see her, Sheldon turned in a rush and their eyes met through the distance and darkness of the hallway. Shyness overcame her as she lowered her head and listened while his slippers padded down the hall.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I'm ruining your REM cycle."

He stopped at the step that led to the living room and sighed. "You are," she looked at him. "But I would feel much worse if you hadn't returned upon hearing your news." He then dropped down the step and moved into the kitchen, Penny followed. "Have you slept at all?" Sheldon asked, pulling a glass down from the cupboard.

Penny leaned against the island counter. "No," she sat down heavily in one of the stools. "Maybe I'll sleep on the plane tomorrow."

"It will make the horrors of air travel much more bearable." He was pouring himself a glass of milk and had the microwave ready. "This apartment complex is going to be extremely quiet in your absence."

She looked at him as he glanced to her over his shoulder. "You could come with me?" She half-pleaded, mostly because he knew how to make her feel better, her family knew how to stress her out.

There was a slight smile on his lips, it was so small and in the darkness near impossible to see, but Penny swore she did. "I'm afraid my presence wouldn't be a welcome one. When my father passed, it was hard on my mother when Missy brought home her boyfriend and George Jr. brought his roommate. She was very much insistent on only family being around." He placed his milk in the microwave and turned to her while it heated. "I believe through your stories of your mother that she is much like my own."

"Maybe a little crazier." Penny said with a light smile that physically hurt her. She couldn't fathom why she was able to sit here and laugh with him all the while her brother had taken his life not eight or so hours ago. "Fuck!" She cried and Sheldon jumped, nearly dropping his milk. "Sorry," she whispered with a wary blush. "I—I just… Sheldon am I handling this right? I shouldn't be able to function like this… should I?"

He took a slow sip of his drink and stepped to the island. He sat down his glass and rested his hands on the counter. "Penny, no one person handles death the same… you have cried this evening… mourned a little.'

"Yeah but," she groaned and ran her hands through ragged and wet hair. "Shouldn't I be a complete mess? I mean… weren't you when your father…," suddenly she stopped, this was something she had _never _brought up with Sheldon.

His gaze on her never changed. "It took me sixteen days and seven hours to properly mourn the death of my father, Penny. I lasted through the funeral and all the following events afterwards with a steadiness that frustrated me beyond belief. My father and I were not close, but I knew that he cared for me, in my own way I did for him as well. We would never have been friends, Penny. But I loved the man." She swallowed and stayed quiet, hoping he would continue. "When he died I was in, what Leonard's mother later told me was a slight form of denial. Not so much of his death, but of how it affected me on the whole. When the true meaning behind it struck me… I grieved. I believe you may be experiencing the same thing. It will come, Penny. You are sad that he is gone, the weight of it has simply not found you yet."

It was his technicality, his steady voice that settled her on one of the hardest nights of her life. She stood from her seat and stepped around the counter to hug him.

Sheldon tensed so she knew he felt it coming. He didn't recoil and his reciprocation was meek, but he patted her back and breathed heavily into her hair while she held him.

When Penny pulled away, she gazed into his eyes and felt the cool blue calm her. She smiled. "I know Amy is my 'bestie' and… all that, Sheldon but… it goes," she put her hand at shoulder level. "The gang," she raised it just a bit. "Amy," then held it up above her head. "You." He glanced at her hand with a bit of confusion then back to her. "I don't know when it happened but… you scarecrow, are the one I will miss the most."

"A classic movie," he said gently with a smirk and Penny smiled again, shaking her head. "I believe it is safe to say that your sentiment is returned." She eyed him a bit, Penny knew what he meant, but she _needed _to hear him define it. "I hold you in the highest regard as well. You are, for all intents and purposes, the most consistent part of my schedule. Leonard's attempts to find a mate have taken him away from me, Wolowitz and Koothrapalli's relationship with one another has consumed their time immensely and I find it odd sometimes that Bernadette is so tolerable with that. I find comfort in knowing you're across the hall."

It was on the tip of her tongue, the words carried heavily against her lips and nearly slipped out with every breath she took this close to him.

_I love you, Sheldon. You are everything to me… I love you!_

"I—I… I'll miss you while I'm gone. Be ready to get all kinds of texts from me."

He finished his milk. "Please not while I'm working."

She rolled her eyes. "You're always working,"

"I'll cut back… for you."

Yeah, her heart stopped again, she knew it did for just a moment, to hell with logic. "We should sleep." She said, suddenly needing to be away from him before he ended up with a lap full of Penny.

"Agreed," he started off first for the hallway and Penny hesitated and glanced back to the doorway that led to her apartment.

"I uh," he stopped. "I think I'll go back to my place."

Sheldon turned around completely. "Are you sure you're of the right mind to be alone?"

Penny smiled softly at him. "I'll be okay, maybe I'll start packing and stuff… occupy my mind until I pass out."

"Very well, you should speak with Amy Farrah Fowler in the morning and arrange for her to drive you to the airport." Of course he was thinking of things she wasn't. "I would but… I don't drive."

She sighed and began to back to the exit. "I will, I'll text her before I go to bed and have her come over, she's off tomorrow anyways for her mother's birthday… maybe she'll have time."

"She will make time for you, of that I have no doubt." He pursed his lips as she opened the door. "Goodnight, Penny."

Penny kissed her palm and gently blew in his direction. "Goodnight, Sweetie. Thank you so much for everything."

Bashfully, Sheldon lowered his head and shuffled off to his room.

She crossed the hall quickly and moved into her darkened apartment and gathered her cell phone again. She had a few missed calls but none from her family, just from friends back in Nebraska who'd also left apologetic texts and voicemails. They could wait. She texted Amy and knew her friend wouldn't get it till morning. Sheldon was right; Amy would help her no matter what. God, she loved Amy too.

Moving into her room, Penny plucked a small suitcase out of her closet and started to pile jeans and t-shirts into it. There was a huge wash of relief that settled over her when she found her Flash t-shirt buried under a small pile of nicer tops. She gathered it up and saved the rest of the packing for morning.

This shirt was slowly becoming the best thing she owned. It reminded her of him, how strong he had been for her tonight.

Billy had been that strong for her once, stronger for her than he ever was for himself.

Penny went to sleep that night holding a shirt that reminded her of Sheldon, lost in the memories of her brother.


	9. The Nebraskan Noncompliance

**The Nebraskan Noncompliance**

When she opened her eyes to the sight of sun shimmering in through her blinds, Penny almost couldn't believe it. She didn't even remember falling asleep, it felt as if she'd merely shut her eyes for a moment.

She wasn't even granted that tiny moment of grogginess where the night before was faded.

No, she remembered it all.

Sitting up quickly, she checked the clock on her nightstand and sagged. "9:30… balls." Penny groaned before lying back down. She had been hoping to catch Sheldon before he went to work, she wanted to thank him again and say goodbye.

Plucking her phone from the nightstand, she pushed past the dozen or so texts from people back in Nebraska and sent him a quick message.

_I owe you MoonPie. Thank u for everything._

Sighing, she turned the volume up on her cell and rose from the bed slowly. On the floor she saw a half packed suitcase and glanced at her closet. She still had two hours before her flight so she decided to wait. Slowly she sauntered into the kitchen, her mind feeling very much like mush as she fired up her crappy coffee maker and used an old filter.

It was happenstance that she saw it, the shadow shifting just outside the bottom of her front door. Penny tilted her head a bit and then made a dash for it, maybe Sheldon was here.

Quickly she opened the door and watched as Amy smiled at her, feet solid as ever.

"Amy…," Penny whispered but couldn't say anything else before she was enveloped in a massive hug.

At first she was caught off guard but eventually she was sinking into the warm, sweater covered frame of her friend. There was something about the comforting way that Amy cupped the back of her head that made Penny well up just a bit. "I am very sorry about your loss, Penny."

The girls pulled away, Penny nodded and wiped at her eyes. "I'm so glad you're here." She said and it surprised her, it was more the truth behind the statement than the words themselves that brought the shock. "Come in." Penny moved from the doorway and let her friend in. "I didn't know I told you about what happened in my text, I thought I just asked you to come here in the morning."

"You did, I arrived rather early because I assumed you had something of importance to discuss or maybe you were in need of someone to help you speed up your morning shower process as I've noticed from my occasional mornings here after sleepovers that you take well over forty minutes at times going through your morning ablutions. I was ready to watch and help you optimize your time." Amy's smile was still silly and that made Penny feel a wonderful wash of relief.

Penny shook her head and smiled despite herself. "How did you find out?"

"Sheldon informed me before he left for work."

The blonde looked back at the clock on the microwave. "He goes to work at 7:30… Amy have you been waiting that long?"

"It wasn't a big deal. A man from a floor above you came down and we chatted for a bit until he asked me if I was interested in having sex with him and his wife. I said no of course but then he showed me her picture and it was like looking at a young Sophia Loren. I nearly changed my mind right there but his stench of tobacco and urine was off putting." Amy took a breath and Penny poured two cups of coffee. "And now that I think about it the photo might have been torn from a magazine." She then shrugged and moved to take her cup. "How are you feeling?" Amy asked, compassion filling her voice.

Penny shook her head slowly and swallowed the warm drink. "I honestly don't know, I'm kinda numb I guess… I'm upset and tired and… oddly terrified."

"Fear is not an uncommon associate with death."

"No," she waved her friend off. "It's going to Nebraska, the idea of seeing all of them after this is scary. My family doesn't deal with tragedy well."

Amy sat up on a stool and patted the one next to her for Penny, the blonde obliged. "I'm not sure anyone handles tragedy _well. _When my grandfather died sixteen years ago my mother became intoxicated and ended up naked in a display case at a local clothing store." Penny cringed and Amy remained steady. "The police officers luckily brought her home and dropped all charges of indecent exposure. Though I'm quite certain there is a photo of her out there kissing a mannequin. Since then my mother has been the picture of prudence."

Over time it had become easier for Penny to let certain parts of what her bestie say bounce off of her and merely soak up the things that mattered. "I don't remember numbness being one of the five stages."

"The stages, while very real, are scattered and occasionally skipped in the grieving process. Granted most of this is from my research on the topic through my cellular phone this morning after Sheldon informed me of your news, but whatever you are dealing with I'm prepared to handle between now and the time I get you on that airplane."

"That means a lot to me, Amy… thank you."

This made the brunette beam and after finishing their coffee they moved to Penny's room to finish packing.

Of course, Amy and her ever studious mind found her ammunition quickly. "This is interesting." She said while Penny dug through her drawers.

When Penny turned around, she dropped the eleven or so pairs of bra and panties she was holding onto the floor. "Oh… that was a gift." Amy had the shirt.

"From cupid?" Amy teased with a quirk of her brow.

Penny flushed, quickly gathered her underwear and stuffed them into the bag. "I thought it was cute." She zipped up her suitcase and set it against the dresser before walking over slowly and taking the shirt from Amy. "Shut up." She finished in a soft voice that carried no threat and then had to embarrassingly stick the shirt into the small opening of her suitcase. She _had _to bring it with her, she could wear it freely in Nebraska.

There was a minute or so of silence, then Amy blurted out. "You're in love with Sheldon!"

That was when Penny buried her face in her hands and laughed sadly. "I—I," she stammered and looked up to see the expectant eyes of innocent Amy Farrah Fowler. There was no need to hide with her. "So bad it _hurts."_Penny made sure that the truth carried in her words, that her pain was levied in the tone.

"This is truly remarkable. Like Beauty and the Beast, except Sheldon has very little hair on his body and is extremely underdeveloped compared to the beast. Not to mention that Belle was rather virtuous and you have a bit of a track record when it comes to liaisons."

"Hey!" Penny cried in offense.

Amy waved her hands slightly. "Don't be offended, if anything I'm jealous." Then the tones changed, Amy leveled her eyes on Penny and spoke. "So you are really in love with Dr. Sheldon Cooper?"

"So much so that I'm thinking about finding a good mental hospital nearby."

The brunette shook her head in awe. "This really is a unique turn of events, akin to the season finale of a television soap opera. Are you going to tell him?"

"Oh… God _no." _Penny said with horror. "No, he'll freak out and then I'll never see him again. I mean it was one thing with you and him cause you had the science stuff and… well you wanted too—,"

"Fornicate with him up against some sort of glass window?"

Penny nodded slowly, her eyes wide. "Yeah… that. I—I just… love him and it's all so jumbled around in my head and with… my brother now I just can't deal with it."

Amy nodded briskly. "Well if it's one thing we know… Sheldon isn't going _anywhere, _so you go and do what you have too and I'll keep talking you up to him while you're away."

"Not sure that's gonna work, Ames. I've known the guy for five years and I'm pretty sure the only thing I do is drive him crazy." Penny's voice carried a hint of defeat. Sheldon was like kryptonite to the big ol' five inside of her, around him she felt nothing but insecurity and nerves. He tore down all of her defenses.

She wished he was here to see her off, she wished he was going with her.

"Trust me, Bestie. When it comes to making other women look good, intentionally or not, I'm like liquid gold."

Penny shook her head and smiled. "How did I ever survive without you, Amy?"

"Well," Amy shrugged. "Your flawless beauty no doubt pushed you along for quite some time."

* * *

_You're welcome. The strike for throwing your clothes in my laundry basket still stands. Please inform me immediately upon your safe landing._

Penny grinned softly at her text message before she looked eerily at the airport they were now parking at.

That was when the worry finally settled in. She was leaving the comforts of California to return home. Even though Nebraska felt like absolutely nothing but home, the last time she went back it was uncomfortable, she only found solace in working on the farm but trying to have a decent conversation with her parents made talking science with Sheldon seem easy.

At least with him she could stare blankly and nod to spur him to keep talking.

She missed his voice.

Penny had a sinking feeling that she would be missing just about everything about that boy while she was gone.

The ride, as well as the walk inside was quiet and Penny was slightly appreciative for that. Her mind was racing with fake conversations she expected to have when she arrived at the farm. She wanted to be prepared, her mom would be a mess, her dad would be distant, Abby would be bitter and Penny would most likely do what she did growing up, play referee.

A great deal of Penny's energy growing up was to make sure that nothing got out of hand around her house. Her father had a bit of a temper and would get mad, yell and stomp outside to any random part of their property and work to dissolve his anger. Her mother had an inane ability to continually push his buttons, she could find fault with so many little things, and Penny would often try and distract them both so they wouldn't fight.

Finally at the terminal and with only a few minutes before she had to go on board, Penny stood face to face with Amy and smiled. "Take care of him for me… please."

"Of course I will, it's hard to turn away someone who smells like baby powder and children's shampoo."

The words made Penny laugh, good Lord she was in love with a toddler. A toddler who held her when she cried and whose touch made her body ache. "Try and visit him or even give Halo a shot, he hates being alone in that apartment."

Amy laughed gently. "I promise that Sheldon will be in one piece upon your return."

Penny hugged her friend. "I'm going to miss you."

"I assume not as much as you'll miss Dr. Cooper's sweet hiney." She said calmly and wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde. Penny groaned into Amy's hair. The girls pulled away. "I hope your flight is satisfactory."

With that, she gathered her carry-on bag and made her way onto the plane.

The flight was long mostly because it was completely void of excitement. Penny tried to sleep but really couldn't, her stomach was in knots with nerves. There was an older man next to her who breathed to loud and slept when he wasn't coughing up phlegm.

The plane touched down in Nebraska at 4:45 Nebraska time and as soon as Penny stepped into the airport in Omaha, she felt an odd sense of calm wash over her.

She texted Sheldon first, then Amy.

It was slow, much quieter than the busying hallways of the Pasadena airport. Penny held her carry-on close and had a rather easy go through luggage claim and now rolled her suitcase behind her as she looked for anything familiar.

The air was much cleaner here, she took a big whiff of it as she continued to move through the small sea of people.

When she reached the exit to the parking lot, Penny was hit with the temperature difference between summer in Pasadena and summer in Omaha. She shivered just a bit, the sun was out but it couldn't have been a degree over fifty yet, in August it would hit in the high 80s but for now there was still a slight chill in the air.

That was when she saw her ride. Leaning against a big, orange pickup truck with a baggy t-shirt, skin tight jeans and a pair of massive sunglasses.

"Oh my God it's California Barbie." Abby said in a tone that left no room for joking. She was dead serious and had been from the moment Penny turned fifteen, grew breasts and started becoming the queen of their high school.

Penny, of course, rolled her eyes and clipped across the street to where her sister was waiting. "Hey Abby," she offered softly before stopping just a few feet in front of her sister.

Instead of a hug or a nice moment for the girls to remember their brother, you know, the reason that Penny was here, Abby all but tore the bag out off Penny's shoulder and tossed it in the back of the truck. "Nothing valuable I hope." She asked but didn't wait for the answer as she started towards the driver's seat. "I'm not helping you with that big son of a bitchin thing you've got behind you."

Casting her eyes behind her, Penny looked at her suitcase and moved to the back of the truck, lowered the bed and hefted her luggage inside.

She then moved to the passenger side, stepped up into the truck that was a good four feet off the ground and immediately covered her nose. "What's that smell?"

"One of the dogs got sick in here when we last went to the lake. We're pretty sure he ate a dead fish." Abby grumbled before firing up the diesel engine and ending all hopes of conversation.

The ride was peacefully loud and this was the one time that Penny appreaciated her sisters usual silence towards her. Abby and Penny were sisters that would kill for one another and most of the time, kill to be away from one another.

They were different, plain and simple they didn't mesh.

Penny was popular in school, she cared about the clothes she wore and being a part of activities through the school.

Abby hated school, she went with a scowl on her face and the acquisition of a driver's license was a ticket to leave whenever she pleased. For the most part, Abby assumed they let her graduate so they wouldn't have to deal with her backtalk.

When they turned to the road that led to the farm, Penny had a strange sense of déjà vu. She could almost picture herself on a school bus headed home, or driving back from a party late at night about five miles an hour so the road would stay still.

Yeah, she was a great kid growing up.

Finally she saw the house, down the long driveway that passed by the brunt of the farm. The animals were still thick, horses and a few cattle, the hen house appeared to be hopping and there was even a Shepherd dog running alongside of them. It wasn't Slider… she didn't recognize this dog.

Slider was her best friend growing up. A black lab with the energy of a Jack Russell, he was a pup when she turned 10 years old. Penny had to think that if anything had happened to him that her father would have let her know.

He was probably the reason the hens were going nuts.

There were more cars parked here than would be necessary for just Penny's family. No doubt some of their Aunts and Uncles had found their way here. For the most part Penny's family was scattered throughout the state of Nebraska.

All of the stubborn as hell, corn fed country folk who would rather fist fight about their issues then talk them through.

Now Penny was no pushover, as far as her group in Pasadena went, Penny had no doubt whatsoever that she was the toughest of them all. But here she was the outcast, the prissy girl who aspired to be an actress and was in love with a physicist who played paintball and collected trains.

Dammit she missed Sheldon.

Slowly they rolled to a park and the car shut off to the silence of the farm. There was no sound of passing traffic or the ambiance of a city. It was dead quiet, save the cackling chickens in the distance.

Abby turned and gave her a slightly gentle look. "Welcome to hell."

"That bad?" Penny asked, hugging herself a little.

The brunette shrugged. "For me no, but I see these people every day. For you… yeah it's probably gonna suck. Mom's been asking about you since last night, she's a fuckin' mess. Dad's hoping that you bein' here will get her outta that bedroom."

Penny sighed. "I don't know how much help I'll be. How is Dad?"

"Sturdy as ever, but he spends a lot of time doing odd jobs so you know he's coverin'." Abby opened her door and broke the calmness of their moment.

With a little help from Abby, Penny gathered her things and followed her older sister into the house they all grew up in.

The thought, along with the first step inside is what set Penny off. Suddenly her mind was filled with images of her brother. She could picture him running out the door in the summers to go through the sprinkler.

Sadness hit her hard, she didn't cry… no, she couldn't break down now and it wasn't in her yet. But she was leveled with the mood of the home.

Penny's family were known for flocking, it's the same reason that she always followed her group wherever they went, and now they were in the kitchen, no doubt eating as it was seemingly the way in Nebraska to bring food to a grieving family, her mother was famous for it.

The second she stepped into the kitchen, she was met by audible gasps and hellos by people from her past. It was her father who stood first from his spot at the table where he'd been picking at a piece of casserole. He shifted his body towards her and Penny nearly burst into tears when he hugged her.

She clutched onto her father like a lifeline and felt the first of her tears slide down. When he pulled away, he patted her cheek twice and smiled before returning to his meal.

"Penelope!" A voice called behind her, Penny turned to see her Aunt Silvia coming in a rush, all blonde perm and makeup. She was bear hugged into near submission before the embrace broke only to be shifted over to her Uncle Jeffery on her mother's side. Jeff was a bit of a creepy guy, Silvia's husband. He'd been arrested more than once in his life but he was always on his best behavior around Wyatt, because Penny's dad could kick his ass and he'd told him as such.

Once all the initial greetings and 'you look so beautiful' 'you're so tan' 'I haven't seen you on TV' had passed, Penny was stuck with the undesirable task of fetching her mother.

The living room was virtually the same, furniture in the same spot; the television was a bit nicer than the one she left years ago. Her dad wasn't about to watch his Cornhuskers on anything less.

Penny eyed the stairs like some sort of climb to tragedy. With each bit she moved up, the air felt heavier with loss.

She ignored the other doors down the hallway. Hers was the first on the left, Billy's the second and Abby on the end with their parent's having the only door on the right. She stood outside her mother's bedroom and knocked softly.

"I'm not hungry." Her mom spoke, the voice sounding broken and unfamiliar.

"I—it's me… Mom," Penny said and immediately heard a rustling from the other side.

Suddenly, the door burst open and there stood her mother, tired and pale, her clothes wrinkled and hanging off her. With a quivering bottom lip, Penny's mother Kathleen pulled her into a massive hug. "Oh God… Penny it's so good to see you."

Penny couldn't help it, she sobbed into her mother's messy hair. "Why did this happen, Mom?" She asked, clinging to her mother. It was the best hug Penny could ever remember them having.

"I—I don't know, dear. I've been trying to figure that out all night." Pulling away, Penny wiped at her eyes and stepped into her parent's room. Together, they sat down on the bed and Kathleen kept a hold on her daughter's hand. "Looks to me like you didn't get much sleep either."

She sighed heavily. "Not really… no."

Kathleen sniffed heavily. "I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong," her voice was breaking, tears falling again. Penny just sat and listened. "If maybe I could have stopped this, if I'd loved him more or…,"

"You loved him plenty, Mom. We all know you loved Billy." Penny cut her off and squeezed her mother's hand tighter. "Billy couldn't… he dug himself a hole too deep and was too damn stubborn to ask for help."

The older woman shook her head. "All of you kids are stubborn." That was when she broke and Penny was forced to do what had been done for her when she was little. She gathered her mother into her arms and let her cry. "I miss my baby!"

"Shh," Penny cooed, rocking back and forth while her own tears fell untouched. "He's not hurting anymore, Momma."

* * *

After the mess of trying to console her mother, Penny handed over the duties to her dad who was all to wiling now that Kathleen was up for company.

Exhausted from the flight, from the crying and from the constant prying into her life by her family, Penny scurried into her old room and rolled her eyes at the boy band posters and silently wondered if she could rip off the Hello Kitty wallpaper and bring it back with her.

She dug through her suitcase with no plan of unpacking anything and pulled out a fresh pair of underwear, some sweats and that red t-shirt she considered wearing every day down here.

Freshly changed and enjoying the quiet as the night started to fall, Penny curled up onto her old bed and turned on her stereo. She was in awe of how absolutely untouched her bedroom was. She couldn't help but wonder if Billy's was the same. That was a task for another day though, she couldn't possibly go in there now… she was fragile enough.

Fishing through the carry-on bag she'd brought with her on the plane she turned her cell phone back on and felt it buzz three times in her hand.

The first text was from Leonard.

_We just heard about your brother Penny, all of us are so sorry for your loss. Call if you need ANYTHING._

A rush of gratitude ran over her, she had the most amazing friends back home.

The second text was from Amy and it made her eyes water.

_California is a little darker today without your beauty nearby. Sheldon is okay so far, he misses you. Though he'll never express this feeling aloud, I was not allowed to sit on the middle cushion of the couch =/_

A bubble of laughter erupted from Penny as she laid her head back onto the soft pillow of her twin bed and covered herself up with the small blanket that had been folded at the bottom.

Last but not least, her wack-a-doodle.

_It's anything can happen Thursday and I find myself alone. Glad you arrived in Nebraska safely._

Really, the crazy bastard left her no choice. She hit call on her phone and it started to ring right away.

It took three rings, even when he had the phone in his hands he let it ring three times.

"Ahoy." He said brightly and Penny chuckled.

"Ahoy to you too, MoonPie."

She waited for the response, the plea of her to stop calling him that. "Penny, I trust everything is satisfactory in Nebraska."

Her heart swelled, he didn't chastise her for calling him MoonPie. "It's a little dark here now and I'm not talking about the sky."

"Is the electricity out?" Was his retort.

Penny smacked her palm over her face lightly; _this _was the boy she was in love with?

Then she sighed, _absolutely. _"No, Sweetie I mean everyone is really sad."

"Oh,"

"Yeah… how's Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday?"

He scoffed a bit. "Quite boring when you are alone and all you really wish to do is watch Zombieland on HBO."

Smiling for no one in particular, Penny dug around for the remote to her small TV on the end of her dresser and picked it up. She quickly found HBO on their cable box and sat up. "I love this movie." She said softly before curling up against the wall behind her and wrapping the blanket around her back. "If you want we can stay on here and watch it together."

"Won't that run up your cellular phone charges?" He asked seriously.

She laid her head back against the wall and grinned goofily. "It'll be fine, honey. I—I kinda need your voice for a while, okay?"

"Very well," they watched the movie for a moment and Penny found herself fading just a bit. "Penny?" He called, his voice soft… comforting.

"Yeah?"

There was a beat of quiet between them. "I would shoot you if you turned into a zombie." His tone was so simple and steady that she couldn't process a return right away. Sheldon pressed on. "I doubt I would even hesitate."

Penny pulled her phone back and glared at it a bit. Then put it back and finally answered. "That's a little cold, don't you think?"

"I don't, it would… upset me far too much to see you in such a state. I would not let you suffer a moment longer than necessary."

That did it, that broke the dam and she was fucking crying again and frustrated as hell about it. Almost violently, she wiped at her eyes and smiled despite herself. "Thank you, Sweetie."

"For what?"

She sighed contently and laid down on her pillow. "Just… being you, I wish you were here with me." The second she said the words, she regretted it. The soft tone she used, the girlish lament that accompanied it, every drop of her love was in those seven words.

"It would certainly make this conversation easier as my forearm is cramping from holding this phone." He didn't pick up on her tone, of course he didn't. Penny frowned.

"We can hang up if you want, Sweetie, I'm about to fall asleep anyways."

Sheldon cleared his throat on the other end. "I have rather strong forearms, Penny, no doubt from years of defeating everyone at video games… except for you," He bit out the last part bitterly and she giggled softly. "I believe they can hold up for a few more minutes."

Her smile grew, she just wanted him to hold her, it didn't even matter that the idea was outlandish. That, if they found out, all of her friends would call her insane for expecting something like that from Dr. Sheldon Cooper, she didn't give a damn what anyone might think of all this.

She just wanted _him_ and nothing else.


	10. The Lakeside Lucidity

**The Lakeside Lucidity**

**Five days later**

**~ June ~**

_Penny it's Tuesday._

She smiled softly at the message on her phone as she sat at the kitchen table in her parent's home and sipped on her coffee.

_I know sweetie they will handle ur burger fine, I gave them strict instructions._

Penny wished that was a joke, but she had actually called her work yesterday and told them that to handle 'Spock' as they called him in the back, when he came in for his burger that you had to handle the meat with gloves on and be sure you tell him that you've washed your hands thoroughly throughout the day.

It was a chilly morning so she wore her pink robe and warm slippers while waiting for the rest of the house to wake up.

They had buried her brother yesterday; everything about the ceremony had felt surreal to Penny. For the most part she played caregiver to her mother, to Abby who had been overwhelmed with grief as the casket was being lowered to the ground. Her sister's husband was too stupid to really offer any sort of help. He was more worried about who would be riding in his precious pickup truck on the way back to the house.

She felt bad, almost as if she was betraying her brother somehow because she had yet to really cry for him. He was on her mind constantly, especially in this house where she could see a part of it and remember something from their childhood. But she couldn't grieve, she just felt a weight on her chest of the loss that wouldn't go away.

With that came a need to work and move, she'd found herself helping her dad out in the farm a lot. It was nice to do something so simple and though milking cows and tending to the chickens was a far cry from waiting tables at the Cheesecake Factory, she found an odd comfort in the labor.

As it was growing up, she and her dad spent a great deal of time together but they very rarely spoke. Just moved in unison with the occasional order from her father and 'yes sir' from Penny in response.

Penny loved her dad, so much and she really wanted to tell him but Wyatt didn't do love. He wasn't one for emotional responses. In a lot of ways, her father was very similar Sheldon, he had love buried in him, it came out in his actions but he had no interest in expressing it.

It was no surprise really to Penny when her mother was the first one to make her way downstairs in the morning. Kathleen was always up first, making breakfast or coffee or just cleaning up around the house. She never slept in, a trait that Penny failed to receive.

"Morning, Mom." Penny offered with a smile that was reciprocated in kind. Her mother had been doing better for the most part, she had at least fallen into a routine of coming out of her room and doing things each morning.

She was still miserable at times, Penny certainly couldn't blame her for that. "Hey, Penny. Do you want anything for breakfast?" She asked, standing by the refrigerator.

The blonde shook her head. "No, I'm okay, coffee is my usual breakfast anyways, unless Sheldon's making waffles, I never miss his waffles."

"Sheldon? I thought you were with that Leonard cause I remember your dad going on and on about him."

A flush filled Penny's cheeks, embarrassed and a bit shamed, she looked down the black liquid floating around in her cup. "No, me and Leonard aren't together anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that honey, so are you with this Sheldon then?"

Penny let out an almost buoyant chuckle. "Not even close, he's Leonard's roommate."

Her mother quirked a brow and sat down at the table. "Well that's an odd little group you've got over there in California." A silence hung in the air as Penny nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "You miss them don't you?" Penny answered with a soft 'yes' and her mother watched her carefully. "So I guess any hope I had of talking you into staying is rubbish?"

"I have to go back, Momma." Penny said in a slightly broken voice.

"For Leonard?"

Guilt washed over Penny's face and she couldn't possibly begin to understand why. When she and Leonard were in the thick of their relationship, she pictured him coming back to meet her family. It was always awkward in her mind but things with Leonard always were. He was different from her, from what she grew up in. He came from a house filled with science and not love, she was raised on hard work and family.

That's where she and Sheldon were so alike, even if he loathed his Texas upbringing, she knew that all the love he'd gotten growing up had sunk in somehow. She felt it in the way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her on the phone the first night she arrived. They were both born in southern towns with big families and tradition. The city was a change for them, they had roots of this life to call back on.

"Mom," Penny whispered, her tone gathering up all of her mother's attention. "I'm in love."

Her mother lit up just a bit with a smile. "With Leonard?" Penny shook her head slowly. "Waffles?" The blonde burst out a heavy chuckle and nodded while wiping at her watery eyes. "So then why aren't you two together then, I have never known you to back down from your heart."

"I know but Sheldon is so different… he's all about here." She pointed to her head. "He isn't interested in romance or finding someone to be with. His only love is science and Mom he is so brilliant, I really don't stand a chance."

There was a bit of confusion in her mother's eyes. "There's got to be a reason though right? I mean… Penny you're a mess, your crying and shakin'. Something had to bring out this kind of emotion in you, honey. You don't just fall in love without some kind of reason."

"When I'm sick… he takes care of me. When I dislocated my shoulder, remember when I told you that?" Kathleen nodded slightly, intently listening. "He drove me to the hospital… Mom he doesn't even know how to drive and it scares him to death but he did… _for me." _The older woman was ready to chime in, but Penny was on a roll. "He's kind and sweet and surprisingly sexy. He collects toys and comic books and has a strange obsession with trains that makes him act like a five year old. But… Mom when he touches me I lose all of my ability to function and I keep dreaming about him and thinking about him and I'm going insane!" She finished with a slight growl in frustration and looked at her mother who was simply beaming. "You're enjoying this?"

Kathleen laughed softly, for the first time in a week. "Honey… when you're a mother, this is what you dream about for your… children," she faltered just a bit, but pressed on. "I have _never _seen you like this before. You are head over heels and I think it's fantastic."

"it would be if there was any chance of making it work." Penny responded in defeat.

"Okay," her mother started, shifting her chair just a bit to move closer to her daughter. "Have you told him any of this?" Penny's look said what she couldn't, which was a blunt 'hell no'. "If we've learned anything from what's happened, Penny, it's that you don't give up on yourself. If you love this boy… you owe it to yourself to try."

Penny was in tears again, she hated what Sheldon could do to her, the big idiot was clueless and yet he had this horrible hold over her. "What if I tell him and it ruins everything, Mom… what if I lose him?"

"I can remember telling you that going to California was a mistake. That you were going to be hit by reality and come back here with your tail tucked between your legs. But you went anyways and… I see you now and how much you light up when you talk about your life there and I know you made the right choice. You didn't let fear stop you then and everything turned out okay. Take another risk, Penny. That's what you do best."

Without another word, Penny moved off the seat she was in and wrapped her arms around her mother in a tight hug. "Thank you, I—I uh," she pulled away and checked the clock. "I think I'm gonna go saddle up Carson and ride for a while, do you need me to do anything first?"

Kathleen smiled and dusted the tears off her cheeks. "No, you go take that horse of yours out. She doesn't get to do much ridin' these days."

As Penny scurried upstairs to change, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

_Unacceptable, my entire day is ruined. Next Saturday cannot arrive fast enough._

She smiled, she went home next Saturday.

* * *

Carson was a retired race horse that her father had picked up for Penny on her sixteenth birthday. He was coated in a light brown, with spots of white on his stomach and a streak down the length of his nose. He was named by his previous owner after the old late night host and when they brought him in he was a bit wild and hard to handle.

Penny had taken it upon herself to break him in, she'd feed him and ride him, even broke her arm once when he'd bucked her off.

Eventually though, they became great friends and when Penny was dealing with whether or not to leave Omaha, she spent all of her free time on Carson's back… just trying to find her way.

Reaching up, she adjusted the cowboy hat atop her head. It was white and big, but it belonged to her brother and she felt it was appropriate to wear today.

Their land was always beautiful; Penny owed her strength and good physique to a life built around labor and fun on a seemingly never ending stretch of plain.

A few miles off of their property was a lake. It wasn't very big but it set along the backdrop of the city in the distance and from where Penny always approached it years ago, it was perfectly serene and a wonderful place to think.

It took her about twenty minutes to get there, the sun was up fully now and shimmering in front of her, the hat creating nice shade for her eyes as she made sure to move Carson as a steady pace.

Nothing was different when she reached her spot, the waters were still clear and ripping with the soft wind that gusted across the meadow. There were stretches of brush that were seemingly growing out of the water they were so close to the bank. The air was thick with the smell of grass and water.

The clopping feet of Carson against the hardening ground below them was the only sound that stood out against the gusts of the wind and the distant splashes of fish occasionally nearing the surface of the lake.

There were two things on Penny's mind as she pulled Carson to a stop and climbed down off him.

She could picture her brother sitting on the rock that was a few feet in front of her now slightly submerged in the water. And she could barely see a soft daydream of what it might be like to bring Sheldon here.

Tying her horse up to a nearby post that mentioned staying out of the lake, Penny moved to her brother's rock and jumped just a bit to step on it.

Slowly, she sat down and cross her legs underneath of her a bit.

When another fish poked it's head out, she could remember the first one he caught out here, he was twelve and they had all come to the lake together.

Abby was buried in her notebook, Penny remembered trying to follow Billy all around and him trying to keep her away. They all had their little poles, Penny's was pink and Abby's was black, unhooked and sitting on the bench next to her.

Her father had finally let Billy use one of his big ones and he was so excited. He hooked it himself, fresh worm and even worked on his casting in the driveway so he knew how to get it as far out as he could.

Billy went on this rock and sat there for a good forty minutes, occasionally pulling in his line to check that the worm hadn't fallen off. Then he had a bite, he jumped and nearly fell into the water, caught himself and started reeling in for all he was worth.

Wyatt had come to him first, his eyes lit up with pride as he asked if Billy needed any help. There could have been a shark on the other end and her brother wasn't going to give up that pole.

It probably only took about five minutes, but Penny could remember it feeling like forever for him to get that fish to the bank.

That was when he called on her, because she's slid in front of her dad and was closest. He handed her the pole and practically pleaded with her to hold the base and the reel in her hands and _don't let go._

Penny held that thing with every bit of strength she could muster. Billy laid on his stomach on his rock and reached into the water. A moment later he pulled out his first fish, it was no monster but still fairly good sized.

His smile was so bright when he held it up, their mother had the camera out and even Abby had pulled her attention away long enough to watch. Penny never let go of that pole when he moved off his rock to take his victory photo.

That was when Billy held up his fish with one hand and wrapped his free arm around Penny… who was still holding his pole.

She could feel it coming before it did, Penny nearly jumped off the rock to find more solid ground and when she did, the knees of her jeans connected with the dirt as her bottom lip quivered and shook relentlessly.

The tears fell in waves, she sobbed and cried into the emptiness of the air around her. Penny apologized to the sky and dug her fingers into the dirt in search of anything to destroy.

It all hit her in that moment, the loss of him, the distance that had been created by the both of them. She didn't even know what he looked like when he was took his own life.

She couldn't picture anything but that boy on the rock, pulling in his fish.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Penny returned back to her parent's home and was pleased to see that her sister's truck was here. Big and orange and out of place but it was Abby's baby.

She must have just arrived because she was climbing out as Penny strode up on Carson's back.

There was an almost ghostly look in Abby's eyes, Penny felt herself wash over with worry. "What?" She cried, watching as Abby shook away the cobwebs.

"No—nothing, sorry… shit you looked like him there… with the hat and the sun behind you. It just caught me off guard."

Penny jumped off Carson again and tied him to the little hooks at the front of the porch, she would come out later and take him back to the stables, but for now he could drink from the dogs water.

With Abby still staring at the while Stetson atop her head, Penny slid it off shyly. "I—I found it in the attic upstairs."

"He'd want you to have it, he was always giving you his stuff."

The weight on Penny's chest was gone, she had spent the last forty minutes crying for her brother, she was thankful that the blistering sun behind them was most likely hiding her puffy eyes. "Are you okay?" Penny asked, suddenly shaken with the memory of Abby's breakdown at the funeral the day before.

Her sister sighed heavily and fell back against the door of her truck. "Fuck no, I… shit this is awful. Penny I hate him, like I lay in bed at night and wish that he wasn't dead so I could kill him myself. How selfish was he?" Abby's voice is breaking and angry, her feet were digging into the ground.

"I was mad at him too at first."

Abby glared. "_At first, _but then what, you forgave him, you understood him? How could you understand anyone that would take away their own life?"

Moving to her sister's side, Penny leaned next to her. "You can't," she offered, playing with the brim of the hat. "None of us understood Billy enough to know what he was thinking, we let him go at the same time he let us go."

"I hadn't talked to him in three years, last thing I said was 'don't bring that shit of yours back to Mom and Dad'." Abby reached up heatedly and wiped at her eyes. "He never did."

Penny swallowed the lump in her throat. "Then you probably did the right thing… you know Mom, she would have welcomed him in and turned a blind eye when he started making that stuff in her basement. It could have driven her and Dad apart. Mom was always blind when it came to Billy."

After a moment of quiet, Abby laughed sadly. "She never missed anything we did though."

"Oh hell no, I couldn't sneeze on a naked boy without mom talking to me about getting pregnant at sixteen." Abby snorted a laugh that drew Penny's ire. "Don't say it."

Of course, Abby couldn't control herself. "You were such a slut in high school."

"For the record, I had sex _twice _in high school and one of them didn't really count because we got caught halfway through by Grandma and she got that damn rifle of Dad's and nearly shot poor TJ."

Both girls laughed and cried a bit as the heat bellowed down on them, neither wanting to leave this moment. It was their first in years, together.

"He's still here, you know?" Abby said offhandedly. Penny sent her a questioning look. "TJ, works construction for the city. Still gorgeous and is always working without his shirt on… he asks about you."

She may not know what his initials stood for but if Penny remembered right, TJ was a good looking boy. He had the cheekbones, the nice arms and defined abs that she used to swoon over growing up.

Oddly though now, she wondered if he knew what Green Lantern's alter ego was.

Penny smiled softly, for no one else but herself and her crazy ass neighbor who never left her mind.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" Abby said, her bark breaking Penny's train of thought.

She blushed despite herself. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

"I said he asked about you before the funeral. He wasn't invited but he knew Billy and brought Mom some flowers… he asked about you."

Her stomach dropped a bit. "What did you tell him?"

Abby shrugged. "That you were still out of his league." Penny smiled. "I did tell him he could find you here though."

"You what?" Penny cried. "Abby I'm…," that was where the words ended. What was she really? Taken? No, she wasn't taken by any man, the one she wished to be taken by was not only miles away right now, but he was miles away when she was sitting right next to him on that couch.

A suddenly odd image flashed through Penny's mind in that moment. It felt like a dream of some kind, a daydream. She imagined herself talking to TJ, flirting with him and kissing him. What her life with him would be here, leaving behind California and dating him. Perhaps one day she would marry him and have children with him. Grow old here working on the farm and at the market selling the things they grew and raised.

There were no girls nights with Bernadette and Amy, no watching the Bachelor with Raj and getting him drunk enough that he could talk but not so much that he turned into an ass. No silly conversations with Leonard about science where he tried to explain something to her and she'd smile and nod and he'd give up only to have her throw it back in his face the next week with a smile.

No Sheldon, oh God that one hurt.

The idea of no Halo night, of not seeing him at the Cheesecake Factory every Tuesday night or sitting next to him while they ate Thai food.

Never singing him Soft Kitty, or never having him sing it to her. Never having the chance to kiss him, she wanted to kiss him so badly. To try, to push him and see what he sent back. What if she never did? What if she stayed here and married TJ?

It was the most frightening thought that had ever crossed her mind. The idea of staying here with TJ and _not _knowing what might happen if she took her chance with Sheldon.

She couldn't, she _had _to know if that damn cat was alive.

"Penny!" Abby screamed into the air and the blonde jumped in shock. "Jesus kid! Could you please keep your attention on me for five second before you go all blonde bimbo and fade off again."

Penny flushed with embarrassment and fought away the agony of her visions of life without Pasadena. "Sorry, I uh… I think I'm gonna go take a shower."

Together they moved towards the house. "I don't know what's got you so worked up, but the showerhead in Mom's bathroom detaches so… you know, it'll help release the tension."

"Oh God!" Penny groaned and swatted Abby in the arm, the brunette merely laughed evilly.

After offering a soft hello to her parents in the kitchen, Penny trounced up the stairs and felt her cell phone buzz in her pocket about halfway up.

Pulling it out, she smiled when Amy's smiling face appeared on the screen, a text.

_I too wish I was there with you, the photo you sent me last night was quite appealing._

Penny stopped midstride and stared at her phone in wonder. She had _not _sent any photos to Amy, she hadn't even texted her since she called yesterday morning before the funeral. It took her three tries to start her response. She had a simple 'WTF' at first but it didn't seem enough.

Finally, she just went with her initial reaction.

_What photo r u talking about Ames?_

She sent the message and made her way to the top of the stairs.

Almost as soon as her foot hit the second floor, her phone buzzed again.

_Sorry Bestie! I sent my previous message to you by mistake, your name was three letters off from the person it was meant for, and I have no M's, N's or O's in my contacts._

Confusion only hit her harder as she stepped into the bathroom, yes it was her mother's bathroom but that's where the good shampoo was and she was only interested in the hair products.

Tired from her breakdown at the lake, Penny slowly shed her clothes and let the water run a bit to heat up just right. It wasn't until she had opened the shower door that the realization hit her.

H, I, J, K, _L, _M, N, O, P….

"L?" She mumbled to herself, slowly stepping under the stream. "She was texting… Leonard?"

Penny then merely shrugged it off, it was probably a picture of something science-y and that would get Amy's juices flowing.

Glancing up at the showerhead, Abby's voice sounded in her mind. She growled and rolled her eyes.

She was in love with a boy who might not even know how to use his own penis… she hadn't had sex in over a year and had no intentions of meeting some random guy until after she'd taken the leap with Dr. Wack-a-doodle.

A flash of that boy from her dreams came into her mind, touching her and caressing her. Kissing her... loving her.

"Screw it," she mumbled before swiftly plucking the showerhead from its holster and praying she'd locked the bathroom door.


	11. The Homecoming Hardship

**The Homecoming Hardship**

**Six days later**

On Penny's last day in Nebraska, she woke up before the sun or the alarm clock. She put on a pair of won down jeans and her red flash t-shirt before covering that up with a tight fitting button down flannel that she'd found in her closet. Slipping on Billy's hat, she made her way downstairs where she knew her father would already be.

He said nothing to her as she found him putting his jacket on by the front door but he held the door open and let Penny got through first.

The back of the truck had fourteen or so bales of hay, his truck was big, a dually Ford F-350 with sleek black paint and more mud on the tires than you could find in a pig pen.

Penny climbed up into the passenger seat and watched as her father started the engine. It roared loudly, louder than Abby's truck did and that was a fact she knew her dad was quietly proud of.

The sun was just barely starting to light up the horizon, putting a dark blue hue over the sky. It was cool out, but not brutal and Penny found herself enjoying the serenity of the farm at this early hour. Something about the calm of it soothed Penny, as if she knew that when she left it would continue to be like this. That it would continue to be okay without her.

By the time they reach the stables, the sun has found its way up just enough that an orange hue has illuminated the tallest tips of trees. Penny got out of the truck first and made her way to the back. Her dad opened the stable door and began to let the horses out. They barreled into the crisp morning air with one thing on their minds… breakfast.

Hoisting up the first bale, she balanced it on a raised knee and found a better grip before moving to her father's waiting arms.

Fourteen bales later, Penny was thick with sweat and a smile on her face. She felt good, light for the first time in two weeks and when she plopped down on the bed of the truck, she patted the spot next to her and her dad obliged.

With her legs swinging back and forth over the lip of the pickup, she looked at her father and smiled. "You okay?"

Wyatt let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "Your brother never listened to me, I only ever wanted him to be smarter. I wanted him to make better choices and I worried about him all the time. He stopped listening to me a long time ago. I—I love him and I'll miss him but I know I couldn't have stopped him." He then leveled a heavy gaze onto her, one she recognized from being in trouble growing up. "You couldn't have stopped him either."

"I shouldn't have stopped talking to him." She admitted painfully.

Her father shook his head. "That boy never did anything worth a damn for any of us, Penny. He put your mom through hell, he talked to me like I meant nothing to him, he was…,"

Fearfully, she interrupted him. "He stopped me from being raped." She wasn't looking at him, she was terrified too. Her eyes facing the rising sun and his silence drawing Penny to look. He was watching her in absolute disbelief.

"What?"

"There was a party… a long time ago and you guys had told me not to go, but I went anyways. This guy gave me a drink… I'm pretty sure it was drugged and I got really tired and him and a friend of his carried me into a bedroom and started taking their shirts off and… I knew what they were going to do."

Wyatt's hand was on the flat of her back, fear and anger in his eyes. "Pen…."

She waved off his worry. "Billy came into the room and fought them, he carried me to the car and brought me home. He and I were close after that for a while until he started with his drugs and I left and I hadn't talked to him since."

"I—I can't believe…," Her dad faltered, he looked away from her and down at his hands that were shaking just a bit. "Your brother, Penny."

"I know." She said softly before running her hand over his back. "He was never a saint, Dad… but he cared about us all, even if he couldn't ever show it right."

Wyatt took a strong breath and nodded. "Parents aren't s'posed to bury their children."

"No… they're not," she smiled at him as best she could, tears building in her eyes. "I love you, Dad." Her voice broke a bit, it had been years since she'd told him this.

He pulled her into a hug. "I love you too, Slugger."

That broke her.

* * *

After another good talk with her mother where she continued to push the issue of Penny telling Sheldon about her feelings. Followed by a rather intense chat with her sister about leaving the husband she hated and trying something new, Penny found herself at the airport with all three of her immediate family members watching her go.

It was hard and that surprised her. When she left years ago the damn plane couldn't rise up off the ground of Omaha fast enough. Her dad hadn't spoken to her in a week, her sister had all but called her a delusional idiot and her mother acted as if she was being betrayed.

Now, they all felt as if they were part of some fractured circle that was holding together for dear life not to break. Somehow, Billy had brought them all closer and reminded them that family was important.

Penny hugged her dad first, it wasn't like the embrace they shared in the truck that morning, truthfully neither of them thought that would ever happen again and doing it in public would be odd. It was meant only for them, the only time really that they'd shared the pure words of love for one another and it would most likely be the last.

Still, when he gently cupped the back of her head and kissed her temple, she felt what neither of them could ever say.

That took her to Abby who rolled her eyes and groaned before pulling her sister in for a hug. They'd fought a bit earlier in the day but it was all okay now, Abby was unhappy but Penny couldn't carry any sympathy if she wasn't willing to fix it for herself.

"Just think about what I said, okay?" Penny whispered in her sister's ear and pulled back with a smile.

Abby's face was stoic, her eyes almost empty. "We can't all be dreamers, Penelope." And that was it, Abby pulled away and distanced herself. She didn't want Penny's help, not this time.

Then she came to her mother, a woman who could not let something go if it intrigued her in the slightest and right now her favorite past time was pushing her daughter towards love.

Kathleen had a wry smile on her face, one that made Penny's insides turn over. "Next time I talk to you, you had better be dating that boy."

"There's no guarantee he'll feel the same way, Mom." Penny countered, hugging her mother. "In fact I'd say it's about 70/30 odds that he'll be against the idea entirely."

When they pulled away from one another, there was enough distance that the others couldn't hear them. "You tell him anyways. There is nothing worse than not being able to tell someone something and then losing them. You can't ever know what's coming, Penny. Time doesn't give a damn if you're too scared to be happy."

With a long and heavy breath, Penny nodded and kissed her mother on the cheek before the loudspeaker called out her flight. "I'll miss you guys, I'll call when I get home!" She said, feeling a niggling of guilt at referring to leaving them as 'going home', but it really was now.

She belonged in Pasadena, that's where her MoonPie was.

As Penny boarded the plane, her mind and her heart was set on one thing. She was going to see if there was any hope of landing Sheldon Cooper.

The flight home was much better than the one out to Omaha, perhaps it was the joy of seeing Sheldon and Amy rather than the earlier fears of seeing her family. There was no old man sitting next to her making weird noises, just a business man who spent most of his time writing in a notepad.

He was even kinda cute, but he lacked a certain wack-a-doodle quality so it was easy for her to brush him off when he attempted to flirt with her.

When the plane touched down in Pasadena, Penny was welcoming to the heat and the crowds of people. She gathered her luggage and began to scour through the masses in search of those thick rimmed glasses of best friend.

Eventually, Penny found Amy waiting for her by a gift shop and had to stop at goofy smile on her friend's face. Amy was busily typing away at the keys of her cellphone and completely uninterested in the world around her.

Penny furrowed her brows and wondered with agony for only a moment if she was texting Sheldon. No… even if Amy was texting Sheldon their talks of science and experimentation would never bring out _that _smile.

Then she remembered that accidental text she'd gotten… the one that was meant for Leonard.

Something bubbled up inside of Penny at the thought, was it still Leonard, was he the one bringing out that smile from her? She couldn't decipher her feelings about that, was she jealous? Not really, she would be more so if it was Sheldon, friendly or not. Perhaps it was just weird, it was easier to connect with someone through texting and email than in real conversation.

Penny shook it off as perhaps a random moment, for all she knew Amy could have been texting her mother.

"Hey!" She called out; close enough to garner her bestie's attention.

Amy looked up with absolute delight and stuffed the phone into her purse. "Wow, even prettier than I remember." She said calmly and Penny blushed with embarrassment. "I was worried I would build up your return well beyond the actual capacity of what this moment could be but seeing you now, all glistening and beautiful… you're a vision." Amy then pulled her in for a hug that Penny graciously returned. "I missed you, Bestie."

The blonde grinned and laughed softly. "I missed you too, Amy."

"Were your family members as equally sad to see you leave as I am now to have you back?"

Penny nodded as she picked up her bags again only to have Amy tear the heavy one from her hands and carry it. "Yeah I think so, it was hard to leave them but I had to get back." Amy gave her an expectant look, urging her to continue. "I mean they only gave me two weeks off and I need to pick up shifts cause I'm falling behind a little on some of my bills."

"You know, Penny," Amy started as they approached her car, Penny basking in the heat of California. "If you are in need of money I can loan you some, Neurobiologists make far more than Cheesecake Factory waitresses." It could have easily sounded crass or belittling coming from anyone else, but Amy was steady and truthful and there was no doubt in Penny's mind that the comment wasn't meant that way.

Still, she waved off the offer. "I couldn't Ames, but thanks. Like I said I'll just need a few extra shifts and I'll get caught up."

After loading up her things they were headed back to Penny's apartment building. Amy had talked about her work, the weather and everything imaginable in the happenings of Pasadena except for the one thing Penny wanted to hear the most.

With each new topic that Amy brought up Penny's mind begged her to mention Sheldon.

Finally, as Amy went on about the new comforter she'd bought for her bed, Penny snapped. "How's Sheldon?" She interrupted far too loudly and much to intensely.

Amy smirked just a bit. "It took you thirty-four minutes to ask about him, I'm impressed really… I'd had a bet with myself that we wouldn't make it out of the parking lot before you started in on your sweet smelling little physicist." Penny merely kept her gaze fixed, anxious for an answer. "He's still alive, if that's what you are searching for."

It was, to a point but Penny figured he'd survive, she was more interested in if he'd talked about her, and missed her and all of those other silly things that sixteen year old girls worried about.

Penny hated being this vulnerable about a boy, any boy but with Sheldon it was all new to her. She'd had crushes before and growing up she'd confused a lot of them with love. But this, this was real love and it messed with her mind and her heart.

"Well that's good," she said in a very unsatisfied voice. "I'm glad he's… alive."

Then she saw Amy's smile upturn even more. "He's complained about you constantly."

Her heart sunk. "What?"

"Oh yes," then she dropped her voice to a lower tone to mimic Sheldon. "Penny is not here for Halo night, I loathe playing the single player mode of Halo as it is far too easy for me. Penny is not here for Thai night and any time I order for just myself they always give me far too much. Penny isn't at the Cheesecake Factory to take my order, I think I'll just pass and eat sugar packets and drink gallons of water to fill my stomach." Amy then gave a quick glance to her bestie and nudged her with an elbow. "So to answer the question you are childishly not asking, yes… he did miss you." Penny smiled brightly and felt her stomach roll over in that wonderfully agonizing way. "Of course who wouldn't, you do light up every single room you step into. I still say that if they merely brought you into an internal affairs boardroom this world would be a more peaceful place." Penny rolled her eyes and smiled shyly. "And we would all most likely dress much better as well."

Taking a deep breath, Penny saw their building in the distance. "I think I'm gonna tell him."

Amy gasped. "Beautiful and ballsy, though you must be worried."

"Terrified might be a better word." Her hands were wringing together in her lap, sweaty and shaking. "Maybe I should wait, right? I mean see if there's anything coming from his end."

"Research." Amy said simply.

Penny's face lit up, if anything it was a good postponement. "Yeah! I'll do a little research, you know push his buttons and see if he's interested." Just saying the words hurt her a little because she had so little hope that he really was. Sheldon didn't do this sort of thing; if he did it would have been with someone his own speed like Amy. Not a waitress/actress who had sixteen dollars in her account.

Not that Sheldon would ever care about money, but Penny did, she cared that she had none. She cared that she was senselessly chasing an acting career and settling for being a waitress for the last seven years.

Maybe she should go back to TJ, a waitress and a construction worker made more sense. Hell she could just be a mom for his children… she would love her children, that might make up for not loving him right?

Shaking her head, she silently chastised herself, it was when she thought to hard about her love for Sheldon that she ended up finding nothing but faults in herself. The faults she constantly assumed that he always saw in her.

Suddenly her apartment building was approaching to fast. She wasn't nervous about seeing Sheldon, she was terrified. Over her time away she settled on the fact that there wasn't anyone else out there who could replace him. The distance and absence and her random texts and that silly phone call during Zombieland had only built up the image of him in her mind. Seeing him now and having him not be who he was in her dreams was frightening.

However, Amy didn't stop the car and Penny didn't ask her too. They reached her apartment and ambled up the stairs, Penny was afraid she might puke.

As if it were on fire, Penny avoided 4A by merely sprinting up the last two steps and fumbled with the keys to her apartment. She unlocked the door and ushered a trailing Amy inside before closing the door too hard, with too much emphasis.

"What is wrong with me?" She groaned out loud and leaned back against her door.

Penny put her bags in the bedroom and checked the clock by her bed, it was a little past four in the afternoon, a bit early but she needed a damn drink.

While Amy studied her every move, Penny went to the kitchen and plucked a bottle of wine from atop her fridge and then found a glass to pour it in. She swallowed the first fairly quickly, then took down half the second and leveled a stare at her bemused best friend. "What?"

"I thought I had shyness issues but you're like a thirteen year old girl at a Twilight convention, you're freaking out!"

Snorting into her glass, Penny finished the second. "I know, it's so ridiculous. I mean it's _Sheldon, _yeah I'm in love with him and yeah… if he doesn't feel the same way I'll probably spend the next three days crying on your living room floor."

"Oh! I'll get an extra set of blankets clean." Amy mumbled to herself and Penny couldn't help but smile.

She looked at her wine bottle and rolled her eyes. "But it's still just Sheldon, screw this… I'm gonna go see him."

As she started for her door, Amy said something about needing to check her mail and they parted on the stairs in the hallway with a hug.

Now Penny was face to face with Sheldon's apartment door, her hands shaking just a bit, she knocked a few times and turned the handle out of routine.

It was unlocked.

She heard the music before she stepped in and the sight before her was of Sheldon standing in front of his TV with a little plastic guitar over his shoulder playing Rock Band.

Penny froze and watched him; she didn't know if he was aware of her being there, he certainly hadn't acted like he did.

So she watched him, listened to the sounds of Green Grass and High Tides. It was one of her Daddy's favorite songs.

There was a smile, so soft and delicate on his face that Penny found herself falling even harder in that moment. She was wrong, the image she'd built up of him from being gone wasn't too much, it wasn't even close to enough.

This was who she loved, for better or worse, he was her boy… her everything.

A moment later, the solo started up and he shifted his fingers down to the lower set of keys on his guitar. She closed the door softly behind her, happy that it hadn't broken his concentration. His fingers, those long fingers that haunted her dreams started to run off the notes as they rolled across the screen.

Penny wasn't sure why, but her legs were drawing her into the apartment more and more.

She knew when he'd noticed her, his eyes flicked for only a moment in her direction before returning to his cues.

Relieved that he'd seen her, Penny sat down on the couch in _her _spot and ignored the screen, she only had eyes for him.

By the time he'd finished the song, all eight or so minutes of it, Penny was desperate to touch him. He turned off the TV and sat his guitar down next to it before finally sending his eyes to her fully.

She rose from her spot and held her hands behind her back, smiling bashfully. "Hi," she offered.

"Welcome back, Penny. I trust you had a decent flight home?" She nodded as he moved to the kitchen. "Can I make you a cup of tea?"

Like a moth, she followed him. "Sure." Penny pulled a stool out and took a seat at the counter. "Did you miss me?" She asked, her voice teasing as he wanted it to seem offbeat and challenging.

He looked at her over his shoulder and shrugged. "I suppose that your presence was noticed on Halo night and I haven't had my barbeque burger for two consecutive Tuesdays now."

"Oh," not the 'yes I've missed you' she was hoping for, but it wasn't a no. "Well I'm here to make sure you get your burger now and I'll definitely be around for the next Halo night." That was when a thought struck her. "And I have a bunch of dirty clothes in my suitcase so maybe I'll join you for laundry tonight."

Sheldon sat down a cup of tea in front of her. "Very well," he said and then moved past her back to the living room.

Penny swiveled on her stool, cup in hand and watched as he sat down in his spot and turned on the television.

Nervously, she moved with her tea and sat down next to him, her knee touching him for only a moment before he pulled it away.

Her heart sank a bit at him recoiling from even incidental contact.

They stopped on a show about jaguars on the National Geographic Channel and Penny sat her teacup down on the coffee table before settling back with heavy, tired eyes.

"Penny," Sheldon called out and she rolled her head to the side, facing him in response. "Will you be joining me again for Paintball tomorrow? I've also missed that the last two weekends because the idea of going with Kripke and Leslie Winkle is nauseating."

She smiled slightly and nodded slowly. "Sure, I'll just need to sleep good tonight because I have to work tomorrow night and that with getting up early to shoot little brats is gonna take it out of me."

"Perhaps you should nap now, jump start on a decent REM cycle."

Penny sighed gently and nodded. A nap sounded great but dammit she didn't want to leave the warmth of this couch. "Can I take one here? I'll lay on the other side."

Sheldon looked put out. "You snore." He countered.

"Not if I lay on my side, which I'll have to on the couch." She was silently begging him to concede.

He shook his head slightly, but not saying no, she knew he was accepting. "Fine, please keep your feet out of my lap."

"I'll have my head on the wrong side, will you protect me from any marauders?" She asked with a look of innocence.

Sheldon shifted a bit in his spot and refocused on the TV. "I will."

With a flutter in her chest that felt like she was hollow inside, Penny settled onto the couch and curled her legs up so they weren't touching Sheldon.

That was when she felt the blanket fall across her and lifted her head up to see that Sheldon had retrieved the one from the back of the chair.

She took a deep and shaky breath. "Thank you." He offered her a half smile as she closed her eyes.

Through the fog of darkness, Penny felt her leg being slowly lifted into the air. She rolled onto her back and watched as Sheldon held it up by the ankle and ran his inside hand down her calf and thigh. She was taking slow breaths while he removed the same hand and grabbed her other leg.

They were bare, what happened to her jeans?

He held them both up in the air and kept his eyes locked onto her. She swallowed the massive lump in her throat before he tenderly kissed the back of her heel and the flex of her calf and then the inside of her knee which made her mewl in pleasure.

Swiftly, Sheldon slipped her one leg over the back of the couch and put the other one on his shoulder. She then felt him tug her panties to the side just a bit before running his finger up her wetness.

She cried out into the emptiness of the apartment and grabbed onto the arm of the couch above her head. He continued to do this, slowly, never adding any new pressure or making any sudden movements, just gentle strokes.

"Sheldon, please." She cried and he stopped to study her, that damn smirk was still on his face.

"What?"

Penny panted out just a bit and reached down to ask for his hand, he obliged. "I want you inside of me, Sheldon please."

He shook his head, but clutched her hand even tighter. "I can't, Penny."

"Why?" She asked sadly.

Sheldon licked his lips. "It's not in my plan… just leave me to this." Then he let go of her hand and plunged a finger deep inside of her, almost hoping it would be enough by the expression of guilt on his face.

His padded thumb found her most sensitive spot as he moved in and out of her. She rolled against him, crying out his name as tears fell down her cheeks. She wondered if he would ever give her anything more, if he would ever give her anything. She moaned and writhed and when the world went white, it turned suddenly black.

Penny's eyes fluttered open to find the apartment much darker. The television was still on and she sat up just a bit to see Sheldon still sitting in his spot watching TV. He looked different, new clothes and slightly damp hair, like he'd just showered.

Another dream, or perhaps they were nightmares now.

Her panties were wet now and she flushed with horrible embarrassment before lying back down and burying her head under the blanket he'd given her.

She wanted to weep, or jump him, or perhaps both but she needed to get away from him.

Briskly, she sat up and startled him just a bit. "I really fell asleep there." She said lightly before yawning and rubbing her eyes.

Sheldon looked at her, his hair a bit messy and his expression tired. "At least you refrained from snoring, though you were mumbling something about 'wanting pie', I couldn't really make out the words."

"Oh, well my mom makes good pie." She covered and stood up so fast that she went light headed and nearly fell over. "Are you uh… ready to do laundry?"

He checked the clock on the TV. "It's 7:58, we still have seventeen minutes."

Perfect…

"Okay, well I'm gonna go get ready then, put all my dirty clothes in the basket. I'll meet you there?" She barely caught his answer before she was stumbling out the door and rushing into her apartment.

Her clothes were off before she even reached the bathroom, Penny jumped into a cold shower and fought the urge not to cry.

She was supposed to have come back stronger and ready for this, ready to push him but she could never find the strength when he was that close. She had to do something to get his attention. She had to take a risk.

Fifteen minutes later she was walking down the stairs with him towards the laundry room, each of them with a basket in hand.

Penny had her red Flash t-shirt sitting right on top.


	12. The Superhero Significance

**The Superhero Significance**

"I do believe that our best bet is to be tactical. Quiet movements and sound strategy will always prevail against the brute force of any opposing army,"

For the last ten minutes, Sheldon had been going on about their paintball strategy for tomorrow morning. Penny wasn't really listening, her strategy was as simple as point and shoot but she would nod and smile and listen to his voice while he swung his hands around in grand gestures.

He was divine when he was this intense about something. It was the rare moments that he let his guard down and allowed himself to enjoy something.

Penny, of course, wanted him to keep that little smile on the corners of his mouth so she played along. "Where would our safe points be?" She asked as she put her second load in, she had the Flash shirt in this load, it would wash and then she was going to ask him to fold it for her while she went to buy them some drinks.

Sheldon started in on safe points as he stood close to his machine and drew into the air with his fingers.

To say that Penny was nervous would be the understatement of the century. She was scared shitless and fighting like hell not to show it. She knew she was overcompensating but Sheldon wasn't quick with picking up tones and expressions so her large smiles and boisterous answers only egged him on more.

Fifty minutes later the paintball stratagem was set and Penny found herself sitting atop an idle washing machine while Sheldon put the coins in a new one for his colors.

She could see it, she really could see herself doing this every single Saturday for the rest of her life and being totally okay with it. The idea of going out and drinking with her girlfriends wasn't appealing anymore, she didn't want to wake up at some random house and wash away her bad days with alcohol.

Being with Sheldon was more of a rush than all of then all of that, the fear and excitement of him seeing that shirt was comparable to any audition or wait for the gun at Junior Rodeo.

Penny had timed it out, she expected the machine to ding at any moment and her clothes to be dry.

Quickly, she hopped off the machine and started digging through her jean pocket. "Hey, you want something to drink, I thought I'd grab something from the vending machine upstairs?"

Sheldon cast a glance at her. "You're not supposed to leave your laundry unattended."

"I'm not, you're still here." Sheldon kept his gaze level on her. "I trust you with my delicates, Sweetie." He blushed and she nearly died right there. "So," she said with an annoying squeak in her voice. "Drink?"

Sheldon checked his watch, he didn't like to have caffeine after nine and she knew he had a slight addiction to Mountain Dew. He frowned a bit, it was 9:10.

"Lemonade, please."

She smiled brightly, "great, could you start folding my stuff if I'm not back in time?" He nodded and she bounded out of the laundry room. Penny waited on the second step that led to the first floor and listened for the ding and when it hit she was practically running up the stairs to the machine.

Once she found the vending machine, Penny slipped the first dollar bill in and got herself a Diet Coke and then went on to get Sheldon his lemonade. She stood there for a moment with both drinks in hand and wondered if he'd seen it yet.

What if he'd passed over it? Brushed it off or if it made him roll his eyes because she could never respect the Flash the way he did.

Suddenly those maddening feelings of doubt came back. It was stupid to show him that shirt, that was her shirt and her secret (okay hers and Amy's secret) and she didn't want him ruining that.

Of course he wouldn't care, he would probably think she got it as a gift from Leonard or something.

The thought made her chest hurt.

She had to try and get down there first. Maybe he hadn't gotten that far yet. She glided down the steps two at a time, nearly falling down the second flight before she reached the laundry room a few moments later and dropped both drinks on the floor with a thud.

Sheldon drew his eyes to her, he held up the Flash T-shirt as the words were displayed in front of him. He looked to the shirt again, then back to her. "Wh—where did you get this?"

"I uh, I bought it," she took a deep breath and picked up the drinks. "It reminded me of… you."

He didn't move, just held the shirt up and alternated his gaze from her to the tee. "You purchased a Flash t-shirt in a size that would only fit you, not something you wanted to give as a gift but a shirt meant for you… because it made you think of me?" Swallowing the thick lump in the back of her throat, Penny sighed and nodded. "Why?" He asked a bit impatiently, she was being very quiet.

Penny took a step back into the laundry room and set their beverages down on the folding table and gently took the shirt from him.

"I like thinking about you, Sheldon." She said boldly, but not enough that she could actually look him in the eyes.

That was when he took a step back from her and nearly started crying. "I don't… I'm afraid I am quite lost here, Penny. Why are you purchasing things to make yourself think of me? I could give you an 8X10 photo of myself if you are that interested in remembering me at random times."

She smiled despite her pain. "I already have pictures of you, Sheldon."

"You do?" He asked incredulously.

"Well yeah, from Disneyland and that one I took with my phone when we were running away from that Stanley guy's house."

Sheldon grumbled. "Stan… Lee."

Penny flushed. "Right, yeah the old guy." Her voice trailed off and silence accompanied it.

"Put it on." Sheldon said, his voice heavy in the silence and Penny swore she misheard him.

"I, what?"

He cleared his throat, more nervous now than she was. "I would like to see you wear it."

Her eyes went wide as she looked down at the shirt in her hands. "Um… okay, turn around."

"Of course." He turned so fast that he nearly tripped himself.

_Always the gentleman_, she mused before stripping off her halter top and sliding the t-shirt over her body. It was warm from the dryer though she imagined his arms were warmer.

Licking her horridly dry lips, Penny smoothed the shirt over her body once and whispered. "Okay."

Sheldon slowly turned around and she wanted to groan in frustration when his eyes were still closed as he faced her. Carefully he opened them and when he took in the sight of her, she felt a rush of shyness she had never known.

Her hands were clasped behind her back, her head was down and she could barely breathe.

"Are you?" He asked again, his vagueness really started to drive her insane. Well, more insane because Penny had already convinced herself that she was there.

Still, she looked up at him and furrowed her brow. "Am I what?"

"In love with the fastest man alive?"

"Oh," she whispered and glanced down at the words emblazed across her chest. "No," she said simply and watched as he frowned. That was when the big ol' five in her took command and she moved in a step closer to him. "I'm not in love with the Flash… I—I'm in love with you." Her trump card was played, she had just laid her heart on the table and that was it.

Penny had never felt more defenseless in her entire life.

Then she heard him stumble backwards and looked up to see he was frantically digging his clothes out of the dryer. He didn't fold them didn't check even to see if they were dry, he tossed them into the basket and raced past her as fast as he could.

It was the first time that Penny had ever, literally, felt her legs give out from underneath her.

* * *

It was two o'clock in the morning when Penny texted Amy. She knew her fingers had missed a few keys and that it was incredibly late, but she was being tortured by the quiet.

_Am could u please com over_

Penny was lying on her back behind her couch, the only light she had was a street light outside her living room window that was shimmering down on her and her half empty bottle of Black Velvet. She wasn't fucking around with wine tonight. No she needed the heavy stuff.

The _Fuck You Sheldon Coope__r_ drink of choice.

Her shot glass was dirty with unfinished liquor but she poured another messy pull and didn't care that she had stained her carpet with spilt alcohol.

With a bit of effort, she sat up and greedily took another swig.

She had heard him around ten, slip out of his apartment to go and retrieve the rest of his laundry, he'd forgotten his whites. Of course he snuck around her, he probably always would, he didn't care that she had to pull herself up off the floor of that place and gather her things to make her way back upstairs.

He didn't care…

"AH!" Penny screamed and tossed her shot glass against the base of her kitchen island and enjoyed the sound of it shattering.

She was drunk, beyond that really because the ceiling was spinning. She couldn't help but wonder if he still expected her to go to Paintball, yeah she wanted him to hand her that gun.

And then she was crying again and hugging herself as she rolled around on the floor.

By the time there was any knock on her front door, Penny was passed out on the floor and woken up by the sounds to see the sun shining through her window. She wasn't hung over, she was actually still buzzing just a bit and struggled to find her footing.

Opening the door, she was ready to fall into Amy's waiting arms but saw nothing but Sheldon in full paintball gear.

"What are you doing here?" Penny asked, falling back into her side table.

Sheldon held out a second paintball uniform. "It's Sunday, I've started on French toast in my apartment and have brought you Leonard's paintball gear. You agreed to accompany me yesterday."

Suddenly her sadness was masked with anger. "What?" She cried, taking a dangerous step towards him. "You expect me to go with you after I told you that I loved you and you ran away from me!" Penny poked him hard in the chest with her index finger, Sheldon winced and moved back. "I can't do this." Her voice broke and she retreated to her apartment.

"Penny." Sheldon called and she hesitantly stopped, her back still too him. "I—I know that your attention span is not on the level of most people but clearly you must have noticed that I never turned you away." Penny was listening, but she couldn't look at him. "I do not know how to react, Penny. I have never had anyone that I was not related too openly offer any sort of love to me. I can, without question, say that the absence of you in my life would be quite the inconvenience."

Turning around, Penny looked at this boy, decked out in camouflage and wielding a paintball gun with goggles on the top of his head.

A tear streaked down her cheek and she wanted him to see it. "I _love _you, Sheldon." She hugged herself tightly. "I know you probably don't love me but… I wanted you to know and if you don't feel the same way then I understand but you can't run away from me and you can't freak out because you're uncomfortable. I know you don't know much about this but… I think you feel _something _for me."

"May I ask what you were hoping would happen when you told me of your feelings?" He asked, still looking horribly uncomfortable.

Penny shrugged shyly. "I don't know, I have been holding onto this for so long that I just had to tell you. Other than that I hadn't thought about what came next. I guess… I thought you might… kiss me."

Sheldon swallowed heavily. "You know how I feel about the exchange of fluids, Penny." She nodded sadly. "And you smell as if you've been consuming alcohol at an alarming rate." He started to move towards her, Penny felt her heart racing, the buzz from earlier gone, she was alarmingly sober. "I have never in my life wished to be associated with someone who knew so little about science. Numerous times over the last five years I have questioned why I continue to seek you out… Penny. We are a statistical anomaly as friends and anything else would be even more impractical. There are equations in this world that only I and a rare set of individuals can solve. But with you… I am stuck." That was when he cupped her cheeks with his soft, large hands and Penny looked into his eyes. "I would like to propose an experiment." He kissed her forehead softly and pulled away, letting her face go and holding his hands behind his back. "I do not know what I feel for you, but I would like to explore the parameters of it."

She knew it was wrong, that letting him run a test to see if he even cared about her while she had openly admitted she was in love with him was dangerous. She was giving him her heart to merely run experiments on. He could break her… but she couldn't say no. "Okay." Penny nodded. "This means I get to kiss you, right?"

"You will certainly have to brush your teeth first… and accompany me to paintball."

Penny laid her hand across his chest and laughed airily. "Give me twenty minutes."

She started to her bathroom but he called to her. "Penny," she looked back at him, her heart in her throat as it would always be now in fear that he may turn her away at any moment. "Could you perhaps shower faster than that, your breakfast will be cold."

"I'll be quick, MoonPie."

"Only MeeMaw calls me MoonPie." Sheldon said and Penny mimed him silently as she shuffled off to shower.

* * *

She only had a slight hangover when she sauntered into Sheldon's apartment freshly showered and clad in a pair of jeans and a faded red Flash T-shirt. As Sheldon poured syrup over her toast, he overflowed the plate as he took in the sight of her with the t-shirt on.

"Hey," she said shyly, feeling like a teenager with her first boyfriend.

Sheldon pursed his lips and moved to quickly clean up the mess he'd made. He crumpled up his syrup soaked paper towel and tossed it in the garbage before washing his hands. When he turned around, Penny was a few inches away from him. "I brushed my teeth."

"Did you rinse with mouthwash?" He asked, though the staleness of his normal tone was gone, he was a bit taken back by her close proximity.

Penny nodded. "And flossed," she moved in another step and reached up to touch his cheek but stopped herself. It was unnecessary touching that she adored and he avoided, she clasped her hands together at her waist and rose up to her tip toes.

She kissed him softly, it was the slowest and simplest kiss she'd given since Junior High but he didn't pull away in disgust or make any awkward noises into her mouth.

He held there for a moment, trying to match the movement of her lips and when Penny broke away, she gazed into his eyes through hooded lashes. "Well?" She asked softly.

Sheldon took a step back and licked his lips. "It was pleasant, though the tingling in my hands and feet is quite unsettling."

"Really?" She asked with a smile. "I think it's kinda awesome." Penny was experiencing the exact same thing.

As they both took seats at the counter next to one another, the sudden sound of someone pounding on the door across the hall drew both of their attentions.

Penny nearly did a face plant as she raced to the hallway.

"Penny! Please answer or I'm calling 911!" She opened the door to see a frantic Amy slamming her open hand against the wood.

She'd texted her in a drunken, pleading mess not six hours ago. "Amy," Penny cooed softly and the brunette turned around and let out a huge sigh of relief. "Hey, I'm sorry."

Amy didn't say anything, just moved to her friend and held her in a warm and surprisingly tight bear hug. "I am so sorry that I missed your message last night, I knew I should have left the sound on my phone on but I'm usually such a quiet sleeping that I figured I would hear it that way. I mean, when you grew up in my childhood home you developed a pretty good sense of hearing at night what with the threat of numerous rodents possibly eating your pillows or your face in the middle of the night. Are you okay?" Amy finally finished with a heavy intake of breath.

"I am… I mean I wasn't when I texted you but… I am now." She finished with a look over her shoulder at Sheldon who was moving away from the scene in the doorway and back to his breakfast.

"Oh," Amy sagged in relief. "When you messaged me last evening I assumed it was because you had crashed and burned with Sheldon."

Penny laughed softly. "It was but… I pulled out anyways and we talked and we're trying… something."

"A romantic relationship?" Amy asked with a bright smile.

The blonde shrugged slightly. "Not really that, we're just adding kissing to the relationship we already have. Sheldon is experimenting?"

Amy frowned heavily. "With your emotions? You're allowing him to perform his own experiments to see if he feels anything while you're so obviously in love with him that the unspoken love of Rajesh and Howard is put to shame?"

"I…," Penny soaked in the actual words. "Raj and Howard's… what?"

"Oh please," Amy snorted. "Those two are one drunken night away from having a really awkward story to tell to Bernadette."

Penny burst into a much louder laugh and shook her head. "I know it's risky but I think he's just scared," she looked back into the apartment, suddenly remembering his Vulcan hearing. Grabbing Amy's arm, she pulled her just a bit to her closed apartment door. "There's something there, I kissed him and his fingers went numb."

"You kissed him!" Amy beamed, surprising Penny how smoothly she could accept that Penny was putting the moves on a guy she had once been interested in. Of course, Penny also noticed that Amy had her cell phone in her hand and the screen was lit up with a new message.

That damn Leonard…

"I did,"

The neurobiologist clapped softly. "You'll have to tell me all about it."

"8:25!" Sheldon called, drawing out each number as he did and Penny groaned with a grin.

"I will, tonight okay?" She patted her bestie on the arm. "I've got paintball right now… unless you want to join us?"

Amy shook her head. "As much as I would love to watch you make a bunch of adolescent kids cry and wet their pants, I'm afraid my legs were not built for the rigors of physicality. I move with all the grace of a Rhinoceros in an ice rink."

"Okay, but tonight come by and we'll hang out, sound good?" Penny asked with a hopeful smile. She couldn't tell you when, but at some point she began to enjoy having Amy around almost as much as Amy enjoyed being around her.

"I will be there with bells on… or at least a pair of underwear. I was in such a hurry to make it here that I forgot to put any on this morning and it is a bit breezy in these hallways." She then slapped her legs together and blushed, Penny did the same. "Happy hunting!" Amy chirped before giving Penny a quick hug and heading back down the stairs.

When Penny returned to Sheldon's he was holding out her paintball gear with an impatient look on his face.

She accepted it with a smile and a quick kiss on his lips and made his scowl alter into a soft frown. "That is going to be extremely annoying." He grumbled.

"What?" Penny asked while slowly moving to the bathroom down the hall to change.

Sheldon lowered his head. "You cannot kiss me to win an argument."

Her brow furrowed. "I'm sorry… were we arguing.'

"I thought we might since you've so haphazardly wasted the time between eight and eight thirty when you know that we must arrive at the shooting fields by nine on the dot." He sat down heavily in his spot. "But when you kiss me my arguments seem to lose a bit of their valor."

With a slightly smug smirk, Penny started for the bathroom and whispered to herself. "MoonPie's gotta weakness for kissin'."

"I heard that!"

* * *

Penny knelt down in the center of the safe house. Taking heavy breaths to regain the air she'd lost in the running and frantic nature of this battle. It was her and Sheldon, along with Kripke and a few other physicists against a group of 15 year old boys who had all the energy of a pack of bunny rabbits.

Kripke was in the corner of the house, he was making groans and sounds that made it seem as if he were actually dying. The two guys Penny didn't know, Dr. Jackson and Dr. Summers were worse athletes then Leonard and Howard and neither of them could shoot each other from the two foot distance that separated them now.

They were badly outnumbered and this was where they had been left to retreat.

Slowly, Penny looked over to Sheldon who was standing with his back against the door and his gun hanging loosely in his hands.

There was something about him now. He was sweating and distant in his eyes as the exhaustion had taken away his need to overthink. Penny knew he wanted to win. Sheldon was the only person in the world as competitive as she was.

"Sweetie," she called and he lazily looked at her. "Come here… all of you, I've got a plan."

One by one they came, Kripke stumbled and fell on his ass once but managed to reach a spot just next to her while the other two kept their distance, they had been blatantly avoiding getting too close to her all day. She knew it was bad when she asked Sheldon why and he commented that it was because they were 'nerds'.

With all eyes on her, Penny started. "Okay… so there's a doorway behind us that leads to the woods and the front entrance… there," She pointed to where Sheldon had been before. "That's where all the kids are and they've taken out everyone else so they're just standing out there waiting."

"Is this the obviwous stwategy you'we giving us hewe ow awe we waiting fow mowe?"

Penny and Sheldon both glared at him. "I've got more, unless you want me to toss you out there as paintball fodder!" He raised his hands in submission. "No, what we're going to do is have the four of you go around the back, quietly now so that means you can't scream if you see an anthill or trip and fall on a broken branch."

That was when she _felt _Sheldon's eyes on her. "What are you going to do?"

"Distract them." Penny said confidently and watched as Sheldon shook his head.

"You will not be a decoy, Penny they'll pelt you with paintball rounds and they are not the best shots, they also do not seem the type to obey the rules of death, they'll take pleasure in covering you with paint."

She grinned. "Sweetie, they're fourteen year old boys… I know how to handle fourteen year old boys."

"Are you going to fwash them?" Kripke asked with a chuckle before Sheldon raised his gun up at him. "Nevwemind."

Penny sighed. "I'm not going to flash them, now get out back and when you hear me say 'I don't think I can stand on it' come around and take them out."

Bitterly, Sheldon agreed and much like with the other boys, these guys followed his lead and exited through the back in silence.

Now alone, Penny stood and took the mask off her face and let her hair out of the ponytail. She ruffled it a bit and then bent down to roll the right leg of her pants up just a bit to expose her ankle.

Moving to the exit, she opened it and heard all their guns rise. Quickly, she tossed her weapon out the door. "Don't shoot!" She cried, digging into her acting repertoire and finding her best 'distressed' voice.

Gently, she opened the door and limped out into the grass with a soft flow of tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Wait!" One of the boys called. "Are you okay?" He asked, drawn to the pretty girl in pain.

Penny shook her head. "I think I twisted my ankle." She sat down in the grass, close to where she'd tossed out her weapon but not one of the seven boys moving to her noticed. "Do any of you play sports?"

"Basketball," nearly all of them said.

"Ankle sprains are pretty common in basketball," one of them said, she actually appreciated the sincerity in his voice. It would be upsetting to put a paint pellet into him.

Upsetting, but not enough to stop her.

Soon enough they were all close, examining her ankle as she pulled her pant leg up more and more and flipped her hair, bit on her lip and smiled. "I don't think I can stand on it!" She called out and that was when a very unorganized rustling from the trees sounded and Penny lifted her gun off the ground and started firing rounds.

Then from behind her team shot as well and soon enough the entire group of fourteen year old kids was covered in enemy paint and eliminated.

Her team had won.

Penny jumped up spryly and ignored the cries of foul play from the boys who stomped away with matching pouts all around and moved to where Sheldon was smiling slightly.

"You have a ruthlessness that I did not anticipate, but it is a great asset."

She smiled. "You use your brains, I use what I've got, and we make a damn good team really."

Sheldon nodded. "This is why we are unstoppable at Halo."

"So uh… this could be considered a 'kiss worthy' moment, huh?" She took a step towards him and again fought to keep her hands at bay. "I mean… to the victor go the spoils… right, I could be spoils." She teased and he rolled his eyes.

"First off, spoils usually means money or some sort of land that was being fought over." She glared at him just a bit. "Secondly, you were the victor in a more literal sense; it was your stratagem that earned us this win."

The distance between them was gone, she knew the rest of her team was watching them, she SO didn't care. "You could be _my _spoils." She whispered and he sighed.

"Very well,"

Penny couldn't help herself, she reached out and cupped the back of his head to pull him into a kiss.

The sound of a gun going off drew them both away. Kripke, with shock on his face, had shot Dr. Summers in the side accidently and completely missed the protective cover.

Sheldon groaned in annoyance at being surrounded by imbeciles and Penny laughed gently before turning right back into her kiss.

When they broke apart, that feeling she'd had from her dreams came rushing back to her. The feeling that had made her fall in love with him, the one she thought was fake. The same feeling that when she woke up would make her feel absolutely miserable.

The difference this time, when Penny opened her eyes, Sheldon's were still looking back at her and Penny would bet her life that he was about to smile. "Let's go to Denny's."


	13. The Dating Dissection – Part One

**The Dating Dissection – Part One**

It had been nine days since Penny and Sheldon had agreed to add kissing to their friendship. Since then they had kissed a total of six times and every single one of them had been initiated by Penny.

She was frustrated to be sure but it wasn't as if she was cornering him against his will and forcing herself on him. Sheldon was willing, he'd sink into the kisses from time to time but he never touched her openly or anything like that.

It was sweet and gentle and the kisses lit Penny's body on fire like crazy but the action was becoming redundant and forced and to say she was becoming discouraged would be a horrid understatement.

Unfortunately, her work was suffering for it tonight. Because it was Tuesday and it was a little before six and she knew that Sheldon would be coming in for his burger at any moment. He would be alone as Amy was working at a University most of the night so Sheldon would be taking the bus to his dinner.

Penny, of course, wanted to believe that he was making this public transportation sacrifice because he just wished to see her.

Yeah, she could pretend that and maybe he'd throw her on the table and kiss the hell out of her in front of everyone.

"Right," Penny groaned to herself before carrying out a few plates of food for one of her tables. It was an older couple, they were regulars who came in for the early dinner and always ordered the same thing.

These were seventy year old people and Penny couldn't help but compare them to her MoonPie. Same food, eating early, hating change, they always asked for Penny specifically. Still though, the older man checked her out way more than Sheldon ever did.

When Sheldon finally showed up, it was a little bit past six, no more than five minutes but he had a glare in his eyes and, no doubt, an angry story to tell about his adventure here.

Penny put on her best smile and finished up with the older couple before sashaying towards him. "Hey you,"

"Hello, Penny." He responded simply but with a bit of frustration. "I certainly hope that my venture to this place is well worth it because with the harrowing trip that I had to take to find my way here… it should come with a Nobel Prize on the side." He then looked away for a moment, thinking. "Though I'm not sure what the prize would be awarded for. A Nobel Prize for patience in dealing with the troglodytes of this planet is awarded to Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper." Slowing his rant, he cast his eyes back up to Penny who was still smiling at him. "I would still accept it though, it's long overdue."

All the while he was talking; Penny had been slowly guiding him to his table. She knew to weather his rants with soft grins and easy nods and he would get it out of his system and calm down. "Your Nobel Prize will happen Sweetie. And when it does it won't be for riding buses."

The words drew out a smile from him and Penny couldn't contain herself, as he sat down in the seat at his table she moved in behind him and kissed the top of his head. When she moved to take his order, he was glaring at her softly. "Penny, you know I dislike public displays of affection."

"This from the man who couldn't care less what people think of him." He went to retort but she stopped him. "Lemonade?"

"Actually, it's early; could I have a Mountain Dew instead?" Penny nodded, just as she was about to turn away, Sheldon's cell phone buzzed and Penny found herself lingering and watching him. He pulled his phone from the bag he always carried around and then groaned and put it away. "Penny, Amy Farrah Fowler has informed me that it is customary that I invite you on some sort of date, though she was quite vague on the parameters of what this would be. Would you be interested?"

Penny made a promise to give Amy whatever she wanted the next time she saw her, even if it was a kiss, because Penny wondered sometimes. "I—I would love to go out on a date, Sheldon."

"Very well," was all he said and then he looked at his menu, though he wasn't about to order anything other than his precious barbeque burger, but felt her eyes still on him. "What?"

She sighed, "Did you have anything in mind for a date?"

Sheldon put his menu down and thought for only a moment before shaking his head. "No, but that shouldn't surprise you as I have never done this. It would be the same as if I were be asked to clean out a sewer system, while no doubt with practice and training I could achieve greatness in the field, at this point I have no experience in cleaning sewers so my knowledge of the subject is void."

With her mouth open slightly, Penny offered him a blank expression. "What?"

"I have no previous dating experience, Penny."

"Oh," she smiled and checked the clock on the wall by the entrance. "I uh, I've got my lunch break in about ten minutes... I could eat with you, that would be considered a date."

He smirked slightly. "That is a very efficient solution." Penny matched his simper and winked at him. "Penny, would you care to join me… for a… date?"

She smiled slightly. "Well Sheldon this is so unexpected."

"I know," he said evenly. "I blame Amy and her demanding text messages."

Penny laughed a bit. "Let me go get your order in and I'll put one for me in and I'll come join you, I've only got forty-five minutes so you'll have to come up with some good stuff to talk about."

As she was walking away, she saw him pull his notebook from his bag out of the corner of her eye. Good Lord she loved that boy and _all _his crazy.

When she made it back to the kitchen and put in the order for his cheeseburger and her pasta, Penny caught sight of Bryan coming in for his shift. He hadn't hit on her again since the night she nearly crushed his larynx. But that didn't stop him from being an arrogant pain in the ass, she wasn't sure what part of him to kick in order to make that go away.

Didn't mean she wasn't up for searching.

"I see Spock is dining alone tonight, did he drive away that little nerdy-girl he was with here last time?" Bryan asked, peering through the doorway from the kitchen as he put on his apron.

Penny knew he was talking to her, she tried to ignore him while she poured the drinks.

Of course, he couldn't let it go. "Doesn't surprise me, really, guy kinda seems like the 'die a lonely virgin' type."

"Go away Bryan," Penny grumbled as she sat down Sheldon's Mountain Dew.

He chuckled a bit and made for the exit, but not without dropping another comment. "He must have a huge cock cause I can't figure out why you stand up for that stunted giraffe."

That made Penny drop her cup and spill Iced Tea all over the floor. "Shit," she growled and bent to clean it, this was taking valuable time out of her lunch.

"Here," she looked up to see her manager, Sarah Winters, handing her a small stack of napkins. "Guy's an ass isn't he?"

Penny sighed. "You don't know the half of it."

Sarah was an attractive older woman, long, red hair and bright freckles that had been kissed in the sun. She had a warm smile and a well-built frame, Penny knew she couldn't take her in a fight. This, of course, was one of the many ways a girl from Nebraska who did Junior Rodeo sized up any woman she met.

"Why do you keep him on?" Penny asked, standing up to redo her tea.

"He's good for the bar, girls love to flirt with him."

Once her drink was ready, Penny lifted both cups and looked at her boss with a warm smile. "So uh, can I take my lunch?"

Sarah checked her watch. "Penny, you started work two hours ago, if you eat now you'll be on shift till four without any food."

"I know but…," she couldn't help herself, a waitress came through the door and Penny cast her eyes to the boy sitting at his table, all alone.

The older woman wore a smirk when Penny finally looked back to her. "Really? Cheeseburger guy's got your heart?"

Penny flushed profusely. "I—I… he asked me out, sort of, I mean he was told to ask me out but we're kinda doing… something, I don't know, can I eat with him?"

"It's your break, Hon." Sarah then reached out and undid a button on Penny's uniform. "There, show a little bit of what God gave you."

Though she smiled, Penny knew cleavage wouldn't mean much to her MoonPie but she left it alone and made her way back to Sheldon's table.

"Mountain Dew," she said, sliding the glass to him and sat down across the table.

"Thank you," he said simply before taking a drink.

With the straw in her hand, Penny started to absently stir her tea as they sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. She would cast a gaze at him and watch while he'd take another drink or randomly scan the room with his eyes. "So," she finally blurted as the quiet was killing her. "How was work?"

Sheldon sighed. "Quite uneventful, I am currently working on possible models of the cold dark matter in the universe and their experimental signals. Interesting data are expected in the near future, from a variety of experimental searches."

"Oh, that sounds pretty big." Penny said, feeling stupid and cursing herself for even bringing up his job.

He shrugged. "It will be if the research proves valid, but I won't know that for some time. Really the quiet of the University is rather bothersome. As it turns out the noise of the masses works as quite a stimulant for the mind."

"Meaning?" Penny asked, sipping at her tea.

"I dislike eating alone."

She smiled, he missed his friends. "I'm sorry, Sweetie." The words carried more weight than just a simple apology for apology sake. She felt as if she were the reason that they'd all left, her going to bed with Raj, really her being with Leonard at all had tried like hell to drive a wedge through them all.

Now she'd moved on to Sheldon, she hated herself for even thinking about it that way. That she'd _'moved on' _to Sheldon, no, she loved him. That mattered, that was important and he was really trying with her, sure it wasn't much but he was.

Still, she couldn't shake the thought of what would happen when everyone came back, or of where she and Sheldon would even be at when they did. Sharing simple little meals together? Would they be more intimate? Would they even be together or would he avoid her like hell because she ruined another relationship?

Thankfully, she had Sheldon to bring her back down to earth. "Will you be available for Halo tomorrow evening?"

"Huh?" She murmured and he asked again. "Oh, yeah I'm off so I'll be there, Amy might come with me."

Sheldon nodded. "I assumed as much,"

Penny nodded and slid her drink to the side a bit. She looked into his eyes and saw that he was watching her, she smiled and licked her lips. "So, how's your experiment going?"

"The one on cold dark matter?" He furrowed his brow. "It isn't really an experiment, Penny, it's more of a research proj—,"

"No," she cut him off gently. "Not that one, the one with you and me and all the kissing. How do you like that?"

"Oh," he said softly and shrugged. "I'm not sure yet, it seems that the only thing we've added is kissing and now you joining me for my barbeque burger. Wait…," he stopped and looked sharply at her. "If you're here, who's going to bring me my barbeque burger? Penny, only you can bring me my barbeque burger."

She shook her head. "It's fine, Sheldon. I saw them take the meat out, all gloves and the cook is very clean, not _you _clean but he washes his hands a lot."

"A lot?" He started in a condescending tone. "Penny, the man handles food for a living, I would like to think that he washes his hands between every meal he starts making."

"He does," she tried in her most confident voice, though she really had no idea. "He washes his hands between every single meal." Then her gaze changed a bit, she looked at him with more depth and fought her smile. "Why do you trust me so much with your food?"

Sheldon sipped from his Mountain Dew. "I don't trust you with my food," he stated simply and put his drink down. "I merely trust you in general."

Her stomach flipped. "Okay, I'll go check on your burger." She stood and gave his hand a quick squeeze across the table before making her way back to the kitchen.

Once she was back in the kitchen and away from him, she fell against the closest wall she could find and let out a heavy sigh of relief. It was… normal and she was so happy for that. Being around him now with him knowing that she loved him scared her. She was afraid he might act different or become reserved when she looked at him. He wasn't and she accounted a lot of that to his innocent nature on things like this.

Penny was over observant of everything that involved Sheldon and she knew it. She wanted him to notice her, to look at her when she was doing other things and watch her. Like she did with him, but he didn't and probably never would. Penny knew that Sheldon would never be an overly affectionate person, he wouldn't randomly kiss her or hold her hand because he wanted to touch her.

A part of her knew he might never do anything other than kiss her.

The more desperate part of her, the same part that dreamt about him and thought of him at oddly random times during pretty much ever hour, was okay with it only going that far. Penny never considered herself slutty, yes she'd had her fair share of sexual partners but she didn't put it out there for anyone to have for free. Still, none of those experiences ever reached the feeling in her chest when she kissed Sheldon and he really _tried_ to kiss her back.

It truly made her mind go blank, white light and empty headed.

Truth be told, Penny didn't do a damn thing to check on Sheldon's burger. She knew the cook well enough to know that he would do it just right. He knew what Tuesday's were and who this burger was for, she trusted him.

So a minute or two later she returned to the dining area and saw that Sheldon had out his notebook from earlier. He was flipping through the pages as she sat down. "Everything is good."

"Good," Sheldon responded flatly as his finger trailed a line on the page he was looking at. "How have you been?"

Penny furrowed her brow in odd confusion. "Uh… good, I was only gone for like a minute, Sweetie."

He glared at her a bit. "I am aware, perhaps I phrased the question poorly. How have you been… lately?"

"Oh," she stared down at her tea. "Good, I mean… I've enjoyed the last few days and you and me getting closer. I guess I'm a little disappointed that I could only get swing shifts when I got back from Nebraska but I need the extra days and the money."

Sheldon then leveled her with a questioning gaze. "Are you struggling financially?"

"A little, but I'll be okay."

He shifted in his seat. "I can help you. You know I have no use for my excess funds."

She was quick to shake her head. "No, thank you really but I have to handle this on my own."

"I understand your stubbornness is an embedded quality that you were taught growing up in Nebraska but Penny it would be quite unfortunate if I had to pick you up for another date at some sort of homeless shelter."

Penny smiled. "I'm not going to be homeless. I'll make my rent, I might have a dark, hot and dry apartment with no cable, but I'll have a roof over my head and you have all that other stuff so I'll just mooch off of you."

"How exciting." He said dryly and for some reason that bothered Penny. She knew it was silly to let it get to her, she was his… what? She was certainly not his girlfriend, just his annoying neighbor who kissed him and whose best friend prodded him to take out on a date.

She was expecting too much from him and she knew it was unfair. "I'll figure out my money issues, I've thought about getting a second job."

"Perhaps you should try and get a better job." Sheldon said, putting away his notebook. This made her smile, their conversation was going smoother than he'd expected obviously.

"If I could ever get a damn callback then maybe I could get an acting job."

That was when their food arrived, Penny felt weird in her full uniform being served but the waitress was a longtime employee here, not as long as Penny of course, but they got along pretty well so she brought them their plates with a bright smile.

When they were alone again, Sheldon started to assemble his burger and she could feel him glancing at her. "What is it, Sweetie?" Penny asked, picking through her pasta.

"You eat your pasta one noodle at a time."

She awkwardly glanced down at the lone noddle on her fork. "Uh… yeah I guess so, is there some kind of illness that I can get from doing it like this?"

"What illness could possibly befall you from eating your noodles one at a time?"

Penny sighed. "I don't know, you're the one always giving me random 'crazy facts' about all the stuff I do."

They exchanged glares. "First of all, I do not think that my information tidbits are, in any way, crazy. You have no doubt enjoyed the suggestion I gave you in preparing your individual bowls of Easy Mac with milk instead of water, am I right?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, eating another _noodle _and oddly overthinking it. "Until you got all pissy cause I was stealing your milk."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, that was unpleasant when I made my Saturday morning bowl of cereal and did not have enough milk to moisten my Honey Puffs properly."

"Honey Puffs huh?" She smirked. "That was last Saturday, Friday we had that really long kiss after you killed that tough boss guy in the Maxi Man game. I knew you liked it."

His blank stare made her smirk shift to a shimmering, toothy grin. "First of all, it was _Mega _Man and I'm quite certain the Honey Puffs were the result of defeating the boss." His voice was steady and consistent and to anyone else would seem as if he were dead serious. Penny could see right through it.

"Whatever, you liked that kiss. If you want I could give you a better one after our date. In fact, I'm gonna."

Sheldon blushed and Penny swooned at the sight, she loved that she could at least make him do that. Any affect she had on him was promising and built hope inside of her. "My mother used to tell Missy that kissing was usually saved for the second date. You don't want to give anything away on a first date."

Penny smiled; she loved when he talked about his family. "I don't think that rule applies when you're thirty-two, Honey." She took a sip of her tea. "Besides, my brother had his first kiss when he was thirteen."

"I see," Sheldon said softly and she knew that mentioning her brother had put a heavy weight over their conversation. "How have you been since then, I'm afraid I was uncomfortable with asking you about it right away but I have been curious as to how his being laid to rest went."

Taking a heavy breath, Penny set her fork down on the plate and licked her lips. "It was hard, none of us really knew if we should be mad or sad but I think we were all a little bit of both."

"Suicide is a tremendous waste." Sheldon said simply and took a bit of his burger.

Penny nodded slowly. "I agree. I still don't think I've forgiven him."

"I haven't forgiven my father." His voice didn't have its gusto, it was soft and sad, she likened it to when he found out his friends had lied to him in the Artic.

Suddenly, he had every ounce of her attention. "I..., your dad didn't kill himself."

"Not bluntly or probably even intentionally. The man drank incessantly and constantly ignored the advice of not only myself but other doctors as well and ate whatever he pleased. Over time, he took his own life with little care of what it would do to his family."

Reaching across the table, she touched his hand and felt him recoil just a bit, but settle under her soft fingertips. "Do you miss him?"

Sheldon swallowed heavily. "I was never close with my father. We didn't speak of things that we shared in mutual interest because those things simply did not exist. But he cared for me, at least I think he did because he would always be very upset whenever I came home with a black eye or something of mine had been damaged by an ignorant classmate." He shrugged undecidedly. "I miss the idea of what he may or may not think of the man I have become today."

"I think he would be proud of you," Penny said before pulling her hand away and returning to her meal.

"You never met him, Penny. I don't think you could know what he would think."

It wasn't mean to be mean and she knew it, her smile showed that. "Well, I'm proud of the man you've become. You take care of your friends and you do what makes _you _happy without giving a damn what anyone else thinks. To me… that's something to be proud of."

He offered her a smile, not a Joker smile or a forced smile… a real one. The toy train and new comic book day smile. Penny fought the urge to say 'I love you'. "Thank you, Penny." He lifted his burger, but hesitated and eyed her again. "I find myself enjoying this… I don't understand it, you and I do not talk about any of the things that I converse with my colleagues or male friends with, even Amy Farrah Fowler but… for some reason you and I fall into comfortable interactions with one another."

"We've always connected, Sheldon," she said with a smile in her eyes. "I've tried to figure out why but I never can, you and I just work. Like protons and neutrons." Sheldon smirked at her impishly. "Don't ask me to explain it."

"I already understand the workings of protons and neutrons, Penny. I'm impressed at how effortlessly you slipped that metaphor into your monologue."

For the next ten minutes they ate in silence, the most comfortable silence that Penny could have ever imagined. Just as she was about to finish, and Sheldon was already done with his burger… Penny stockpiled her courage and slipped the tip of her foot against his ankle and watched his eyes.

He jumped at first, no doubt shocked by the contact and he sought her face. She was smiling at him and he calmed a bit but held a weak glare for a moment before very carefully pushing his leg against her foot. She could tell by his expression that the juvenility of it all made him feel silly. But this whole thing felt juvenile at times. They barely kissed, holding hands was a huge deal and playing footsy under the table at her work might as well be compared to sex in the bathroom.

"This was a wonderful date, Sheldon. Thank you."

He pushed his empty plate away and wiped his face once more. "Yes, I found your company quite acceptable as well. According to Amy we are supposed to repeat this action again in the near future."

Penny shrugged. "Not this exactly, I mean… we don't have to do dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We could do something else." She stood up and he did the same. "Tell you what? Why don't you pick, anything you want outside of visiting some train model… toy store thing. Other than that… I'm leaving it up to you."

"Very well," she could tell that his mind was already working. Then she took a step towards him and Sheldon was looking down into her eyes.

"I have to get back to work, are you gonna get home okay?"

He checked his watch. "The bus arrives at the nearest stop in ten minutes, more than enough time for me to reach it."

Her hands were clasped behind her back, shy as she knew a kiss was imminent. "Be careful on that thing okay, I wanna see you home in one piece."

"Your safety is a question of mine as well, what with your disregarded approach to your check engine light."

Penny smiled. "I'll be okay," their eyes met and she rose to her tip toes to reach him.

That was when Sheldon closed the distance between them and kissed her soundly. Her eyes shut lightly at the overwhelming sensations that were coursing through her. When they broke apart, he kept the distance between them minimal. Their noses were nearly touching. "Goodnight, Penny." He said as she slowly fell back onto her heels.

"Goodnight, Sweetie."

He then reached out, brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear.

Then he was gone and Penny was on a cloud for the rest of her shift.

Their first date was a marvelous success.


	14. The Dating Dissection - Part 2

**The Dating Dissection – Part Two**

Cradled in his arms, Penny couldn't remember where she ended and he began. They were connected, her leg tangled around his waist, his lips latched onto her neck as they rocked sharply over and over again. The bed creaked beneath them with each intense thrust that he gave.

Penny cried out his name, whispering her love for him as he pulled out and slid himself back into her smoothly. She tightened herself around him and smiled when he moaned and dragged his nails lightly across her back.

Leaning forward, she bit into his neck, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough that he would have a mark. She ran her hands up and down the warm flesh of his back and shoulders. Penny reveled in the feel of him as he continued to push himself in and out of her with unmatched consistency.

They were slick and sticky with sweat and the sheets of his bed had been shoved to the ground, something about his absolute lack of care for the untidiness made her body light on fire. She watched as he pulled back, breaking the seal of heat that they had created together and his head dipped down to capture one of her breasts between his lips.

He suckled lightly, running his tongue over the peak of her nipple and grinning against it when she tangled a her fingers into his hair. Sheldon released her and kissed her in a motion so quick that the Flash would be jealous.

The kiss broke and their foreheads touched, Penny was close and she knew he was too because he held onto her tighter. She clenched down with everything she had, making it harder for him to move in and out of her, creating more friction. She looked into his eyes the entire time, love and passion in their faces as she occasionally ran her tongue over his protruding bottom lip.

When she came, he held her tight and slid in and out of her slowly, methodically so she could ride the wave and soak in the feeling completely. "I love you, Kitten...,"

After she came down, Penny nodded to him knowingly and Sheldon laid her down gently on her back, he lifted her legs up over his shoulders and repositioned. Then started to drive himself into her rapidly, desperate to find the cloud she currently occupied, he was always trying to catch her and Penny was sure to never run to far away.

He cupped her face, sweat drops fell onto her collarbone and rolled up her neck. He cried out. "Penny!"

_Knock, knock knock._

"Penny!"

Her eyes burst open to the quiet of her bedroom, she had the lower half of her body nearly hanging off the bed and her sheets were soaked with sweat. She was panting to catch her breath and aching between her legs.

"Fuck," she whispered, never one for the heavy curse words but the moment certainly called for it.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Penny!" Again the voice called and it finally dawned on Penny that it wasn't from the dream.

Closing her eyes, she ran a hand through her hair. "Just a minute!" She called out and was satisfied when he stopped knocking.

Her gaze found the clock next to the bed and she sighed in frustration for SO many things. It was Saturday, for one, and she was NOT laying naked and satisfied with Sheldon beside her, no she was being woken up by him at 7:30 which was well before her allotted time to be woken on off days.

If he wasn't standing outside her door with every intention of having his way with her up against it, she was gonna kill him.

Penny made it to her feet and sluggishly pulled on her pink robe and tied it around her. She held onto the frame of the door and made her exit, barely awake and coherent, wanting desperately to return to her dream.

When she opened the door, the boy from the dream was absent. Instead, she got the boy she loved in the real world. Dressed in his own red Flash T-shirt with a blue one underneath. He held a bag in his hand that she couldn't make out and wore a small smile. "I am aware of the rule that I have broken with my presence this morning."

"And are you aware of the consequences of that rule?" Penny challenged with a mumble.

Sheldon nodded cautiously. "Yes, but I was hoping that my presence and forthcoming offer of another 'date' would save both myself and my throat."

He had both drawn all of her attention and dissolved all her frustration. "You're here for a date?" She asked and he nodded. "At 7:30 in the morning?"

"Well it is the optimum time to go kite flying."

Penny's face carried little expression. "Kite… flying?"

He nodded vigorously. "Yes, I have taken into account all the factors of this morning. The weather is nice, the park is a pleasant and quiet place where we could spend time together and the flying of kites is something that I enjoy greatly."

"So… your date choice is to go to the park and fly kites."

His smile was gone, replaced with a look of annoyance. "Penny, I am not sure how else I can explain this to you. Is this not something you wish to partake in? I stayed up an extra hour last evening trying to plan an event that we could partake in today that would be enjoyable." He then held out the bag he was carrying. "I even purchased you a kite."

Penny reached inside the brown, paper bag and pulled out the kite he'd bought her. "Hello Kitty…," she whispered and bit at her bottom lip. "You bought this for me?"

"Yes," he said simply, clearly missing the adoration in her voice.

Like a child, Penny held her new toy close to her chest and smiled. "Give me ten minutes to get ready."

"Penny," he started and felt no need to finish.

She rolled her eyes and started for the bathroom. "Fine, twenty."

As Penny stalked off to the shower, a smile painted across her face, she listened as he turned on her television.

Closing the door behind her, she fell back against it and sighed to release the breath she'd been holding since she woke up. That dream, all these damn dreams were killing her. They happened more often than not and it was to the point now where they felt more like nightmares because she couldn't help but worry he would never reach that point with her.

Penny was a realist, she knew that the boy in those dreams was too perfect, too damn good and sensual to ever be what Sheldon might be in that situation. She didn't really care, she knew what she felt for the boy in that dreams was the same feeling she got when she kissed him. Really, she just wanted his hands on her, wanted him to _want _to touch her in some way.

Shedding her robe, Penny was hot and burning in all the right places as she slipped quietly into her bathroom and turned on the shower. She shed her sleep shorts and t-shirt and was almost desperate not to touch herself because it would only entice her more.

Stepping into the tub, she stopped halfway and tested the water with her hands, it was warm, but she turned it up just a bit and decided against a chilly shower. She was beginning to long for the detachable showerhead at her mother's house.

When she let the water fall down her back, Penny hoped the sensation of that might quell her aching body. It didn't, she was hotter and her mouth went suddenly dry as she swallowed hard and turned around to let the water fall over her front.

Her eyes fell shut, she ran her hand over the flat part of her stomach and took a long, drawn out breath. She wished she could mime his hands, those big hands that had so rarely touched her but covered so much of her body. When they kissed, he would sometimes cup her cheek and run his thumb over her skin.

His hands were soft, but still strong and she wondered what they would feel like on her body.

Penny's hand laid gently across her breast, she squeezed it lightly and moaned at the sensation. She wanted it to be him, she was determined to have him here, touching her breasts, grazing her stomach… dipping into her body.

She slid her hand down quickly and found the spot she longed to show him, to let him explore… as she was now.

Reaching up with her other hand, Penny gripped onto the showerhead above her and started to rub herself in slow, perfect circles that she'd mastered and hoped to one day teach him. Sheldon was a genius, he might figure it out on his own someday.

She remembered the moment in the restaurant, when he tucked the hair behind her ear, he was so gentle and sweet with that smile she swore was meant for her.

"Oh…" She whimpered and started to grind her hips into the motion of her index finger. "God, OH!" She cried and ignored the sound of her voice echoing off the walls. Repositioning her hand, Penny replaced her thumb where her finger had been and let said finger slip inside the warmth she'd created.

Her fingers weren't big enough, weren't long like his, she wished so much that it was him. "Sh… shit..," she whispered, feeling the heat buildup in the depths of her gut. "Mmm… Uh!" She let out an almost primal cry and felt her knees start to buckle.

She was so close.

Penny lifted her left leg onto the lip of the tub to gain more access and began to pant and moan loud and inaudible sounds, the world around her falling away, she screamed. "Oh fu—uck! Uhhh…."

Out of breath, she pulled her hand away and fell hard against the wall as the hot water seared her skin. The smile on her face was lax and sated.

As Penny finally recomposed herself and began to wash her hair, she fought the sinking in her stomach that she may never get the boy she loved this far.

* * *

Freshly showered and dressed in her 'fastest man alive' tee, Penny made her way back into the living room with slightly damp hair and saw Sheldon sitting straight upright on her couch. He was adamantly focused on the TV but the show was something about sports, she knew he wasn't interested in anything like that.

"Sheldon?" She called, mostly making her presence known. He flinched and looked back at her for only a moment before turning away again. "Are you okay?" She asked, taking a step closer to him.

He slid over a spot to create a bit of distance. "Yes, I'm fine… could you… please maintain a safe perimeter from me for a moment."

The first feeling she had was hurt, hurt because she never knew when he would completely pull away from her like this and not even want her near him.

Then she saw him shift in his seat and noticed the diligence at which he was keeping his hands in his lap.

Penny's eyes went wide as saucers and a smile splayed across her face involuntarily. Her cheeks went bright red, matching the color of his ears as he fought like hell not to look at her. "Sweetie… I—I, could you hear me?" She asked, too damn giddy to let this go.

"What?" Sheldon squeaked, moving down another cushion away from her. "Of course I can hear you, Penny. I am not hard of hearing." His face turned even redder at his own words and she stifled a giggle.

Gently, she moved to the couch and sat down on the arm. "Honey, I—I didn't think you'd… it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"It is certainly not something we should be discussing openly, Penny. Do you have any idea what my mother would say about all this?"

Penny shrugged. "Hallelujah?"

With a heavy scoff, Sheldon shook his head and groaned. "You really should not do those sorts of things when you have company, Penny."

She smiled. "I'm sorry," she wasn't. He reacted, he was reacting to her and the sounds that she made and she'd given him an erection with just the sounds of her moans through a muffled bathroom door and it was like a beacon of hope.

It was never her intention to do this to him but dammit he was reacting to her and Penny wanted to jump him right there on the couch.

Of course, she wouldn't, that would scare him away.

Still, it was the best news she'd gotten in years. "I think it's sexy."

"Well it has certainly ruined our date." Sheldon grumbled and closed his eyes while his mouth moved inaudibly, no doubt begging himself to calm down. "I should return to my apartment."

Penny stood up quickly before he could. "Absolutely not, it'll go away, Sweetie and I want to test out my Hello Kitty kite and go on this damn date that you woke me up so early for."

"I am in no position to move at the moment, my body has completely betrayed me."

He had still yet to look at her and Penny looked to the door of her bedroom and then back to him. "Do you… want me to give you a little time?"

"I am not going to defile myself, Penny."

She laughed softly, loving the push this moment was giving him. "Why not? I just did."

"Oh good Lord!" Sheldon cried and nearly curled up into a ball on her couch.

Penny knew she had to stop teasing him, so she smiled and moved from the couch to her kitchen and grabbed a dish towel. She plucked about six ice cubes from her freezer and placed them in the towel before sauntering over to where he sat in a heated mess on the edge of her couch. "Here," she offered him the ice. "I'm gonna go dry my hair, you… do what you need to do and we'll go to the park, okay?" Her voice was sweet and her smile was sincere and it seemed to calm him down a bit. She never ever wanted him to be uncomfortable around her. So seeing him relax at her warm tone was perfect, reminded her of why she loved him.

Sheldon took the ice and nodded slowly before she started off to her bathroom again and watched as he settle the ice in his lap.

Only one thought simmered through Penny's mind as she made her way back to the bathroom.

_Asexual my ass…_

* * *

Penny sucked at flying kites, plain and simple… she couldn't do it but it was up there just enough and gusting through the wind while Sheldon and his high tech kite whipped and maneuvered through the sky. Still, she loved seeing her Hello Kitty up there and fluttering next to Sheldon's and he had a very content look on his face.

Looking behind her, Penny found a bench and stepped back to take a seat. "Sweetie," she called and Sheldon glanced at her before sighing a bit and stopping his kite theatrics and taking a spot next to her. "Are you having fun?" She asked as he reached over her and tied her kite to the arm of the bench.

"I always have fun flying kites, the serenity of it has always been comforting. My mind, as you know, is working constantly, these are the things that slow it down." Sheldon said before tying his own kite as he had done with hers. "My MeeMaw taught me."

There was this look, a look that painted across his face at any mention of his precious MeeMaw and to be honest, Penny was _desperate _to meet this woman. If only to ask if she could borrow the key to this boy's heart.

"How is your MeeMaw?" Penny asked, if only to keep that look on his face.

Sheldon shrugged. "Judging from her last letter she is doing well, though her health has been in steady decline for over a decade she remains… stubborn, as my mother puts it, I merely say she is above being coddled." His head cast down for a moment and Penny studied him, resisting the want to run circles across his back with her hand. "I sent her a letter two weeks ago, I expect a return letter soon."

A weight fell over Penny as she watched him and realized that if there ever came a day where his MeeMaw couldn't send him a return letter that he would be devastated. Sheldon had so few people in the world that he cared about, truly loved, that losing one would be like losing a limb. She worried of how he would handle it, she worried of how much he worried.

She knew for certain that she would be there for him, as he had been for her.

"Your MeeMaw sounds like a pretty amazing person."

He nodded briskly. "She is, I can remember her being the first to truly congratulate me when I was accepted to college at the age of eleven. The rest of my family went into mass hysteria and worry at the prospects of me leaving so early, MeeMaw merely said 'you've earned it, MoonPie'." He was smiling again, truly and sweetly and Penny reached out and took his hand.

A slight flinch but he didn't pull away. "You earned everything in your life, Sheldon. It's one of your most endearing qualities."

"I have never been one to have things given to me, I believe that disappointment is unacceptable and the only person I could ever trust not to disappoint me… is me." There was arrogance in his voice, but it's just who he was.

Plus she brushes all of that off, all of his snarky comments and even the backhanded ones are met with a smile now. Aside from calling her stupid, which she knew he would never do, Penny is ready to take anything from him in anticipation of these moments.

Of him holding her hand and sitting peacefully with her on a park bench.

"I would like to reciprocate the question." Sheldon said, cutting through the serene sounds of the outdoors.

Penny glanced at him with a questioning look. "What?"

He licked his lips. "Are you having fun?" He asked.

Again she smiled, she kept doing that. "I am, it's… not like any date I've ever had but yeah, I'm having a good time. This," she lifted their adjoined hands. "Is really nice."

"May I ask you another question?"

She smirked. "Is that it?"

His expression fell. "I—I… alright, another one." Penny laughed softly and nodded. "Why do you harbor feelings for me?"

"You mean…," her body tensed up entirely, she felt her stomach twist into knots.

"Why do you love me?" She could tell he was nervous just saying the word, his face ashen and his eyes shifting around from her own to their locked hands to the trees behind her.

Penny let his hand go and shifted away from him a bit, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. "I—I don't know," she stammered and rolled her eyes. "I just do."

"Well that is the definition of a vague answer, Penny." He was shifting awkwardly next to her, both of them with matching discomfort but Sheldon's curiosity was running his mind. "There has to be a reason, I could understand if it was my staggering intellect but you have never taken much stock in that."

His ego made her smile again, damn him. "Your mind is part of it, Sweetie." She finally looked at him, suddenly finding her confidence again. She was _not _ashamed of her feelings for him. "I told you before that it was beautiful and I meant it." He flushed again, much like he did the first day she met him. "It's more than that though… when I'm around you I feel... complete." She laughed at herself after she said it and shook her head. "I'm sorry, that was so lame."

"It did resemble a line from a Tom Cruise movie, yes." He teased, actually teased with his 'bazinga' smirk and Penny swatted his arm playfully. "I apologize for asking such brazen inquiries; social protocol would dictate that it is inappropriate for me to question one's feelings."

She was about to hold his hand again until he said that, instead she turned slightly to look at him better. "Do you… doubt my feelings?"

Sheldon shrugged. "I would not say that I doubt them, I merely do not understand them. People do not offer me… love unless they are bound to by the bonds of blood, Penny."

_That _was when she retook his hand. "I don't think your family loves you because they _have _too, Sheldon." He looked at her. "I never expected to love you. But I do and I'm taking a huge risk with you because I never know what you're thinking or if you'll ever… be here," she touched her free hand to her chest, indicating her heart. "With me, but… if you keep trying then I won't run away."

"I cannot express my feelings towards you, Penny." He said flatly, almost angrily and she frowned a bit. "I simply do not understand them yet and refuse to lie to you." She nodded sadly and cast her head down but glanced back up when he squeezed her hand. "However, as you well know, I do nothing that I do not wish to and I would certainly not be here if I didn't want to be."

Penny bit her bottom lip. "See, that right there… just keep doing that and I think my heart is safe."

"I don't understand."

She chuckled. "I know, kiss me?"

He nodded, awkwardly sliding towards her and meeting her lips for a tender kiss. Again, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek, his fingers running across her skin as she sighed into his mouth. Penny opened her eyes and saw that his were closed, it made her heart scream in joy and her courage swell up tenfold.

She parted her lips and gently ran her tongue across his mouth.

"Mmm," he mumbled against her and pulled away slightly. "You are wishing to engage in the act of quote 'French kissing', am I right?"

"Well, kinda… but it's really more of a spontaneous thing." She giggled slightly and he glared at her. "Do you… want too?"

Sheldon licked his lips, certainly not helping Penny's want to taste him. "The idea of exchanging fluids with you is unsettling but… the idea of kissing you in such a manner is enticing… much like discovering that they were going to be making the Avengers movie and Joss Whedon was directing it."

"So is that a yes?" Penny asked, struggling to decipher his code.

His answer was to gently run his hands _through _her hair, not to tuck a piece away; he stroked his fingers through her hair and pulled her in close. "A test run," he whispered before opening his mouth far too wide and feeling Penny reach under his chin and closed it just a bit before snickering into his mouth and then gently swiping her tongue over his.

They tangled for a moment, Sheldon barely moving his tongue against hers but when he did it was slow and cautious but Penny didn't rush him. When it was over, she kept her face extremely close to him and ran the tips of her fingers over his face. Penny had never in her life been more intimate with another person, not on this level, not with this much gentility. "Not bad?"

"Not bad… if not a little messy," he said, reaching up to wipe his mouth.

Penny rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "I do love you," she cooed beautifully.

"Thank you," was his return and Penny was wonderfully okay with that.

Their second date was close to perfect and it wasn't even noon yet.


	15. The Dating Dissection - Part 3

**The Dating Dissection – Part Three**

**~ July ~**

The first Friday in July, Penny had officially been doing… whatever the hell with her neighbor for a little over three weeks and each day had Penny falling harder and harder. Being with Sheldon wasn't easy, he was tough to read and tougher to direct which meant that the French kissing she'd taught him on a park bench six days earlier had not happened since.

Two nights ago during Halo, she and Sheldon had defeated a group of players ranked far higher than the pair of them and in celebration she gave him a kiss, he reciprocated fine but when she swiped her tongue over his closed lips, he pulled away and any conversation about it was ruined when Leonard called.

Of course Sheldon and Leonard talked about all things science on the conventions that the guys were seeing in New Jersey. Sheldon didn't know any better than to not bring up anything about his new relationship with Penny and if Penny ever talked to her ex she had no intention of ever bringing it up.

So the guys were none the wiser and though they would be coming home in three weeks, Penny knew that it was better to keep this quiet until it could be better defined.

No matter how hard it was to read Sheldon, she was desperate to be with him now because her Friday shift was proving to be absolutely horrendous. She started at noon and it was a little past five now, she had three more hours and was already on her second uniform, the first one had been thrown up on. Not even by a cute baby, oh no, by an older man who reeked of Yager and the Cheeseburger he's mistakenly eaten.

She was hit on by a group of vacationing teenagers from Montana and was angrily yelled at by her manager for 'spilling' a full glass of soda on one of them.

Penny wanted to go home, she wanted to sit with Sheldon and listen to him talk about science, _anything _to get her out of this place.

Another hour came and Penny was again under tipped because she got a little bit short with a mother who couldn't decide what the hell she wanted her kids to have with their meal. Her daughter, who was a bit heavy but nothing out of the ordinary for a kid that couldn't be a day over six, ordered a milkshake and was called _fat _by her own mom.

So when Penny all but demanded that they get their orders in, she earned a glare from the mother and a small smile from the daughter, all but made her two dollar tip worth it.

"Having fun?" Bryan's voice slithered through her ears as she stepped out of the ladies room.

She glared at him. "Are you stalking me?"

Bryan chuckled, "don't flatter yourself, I just got in… sounds like you've had a day. Heard Sarah ripped your ass."

"I messed up, doesn't matter."

He grinned. "We could switch you know."

Penny was halfway down the hall to the kitchen when his words stopped her. "What?"

"I've got the bartending shift," he started, sauntering towards her slowly. "I'll finish out your shift and you can tend the bar till you go home and Beth gets in to spell you."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Penny leveled a dark stare at him. "And the catch?"

"Show me your tits." He said as casually as possible. Penny scoffed and rolled her eyes before turning away. "Stop!" He called quickly. "I'm kidding; you know I'm not going there again. I can't have it going around this place that you've whipped my ass." Penny stopped again and looked at him over her shoulder. "I've gotta work tomorrow, but it's the fourth and I want to get fucked up with my friends cause my brother's coming into town. You take my shift tomorrow, I'll let you tend bar the rest of the night."

Her face scrunched up in confusion. "You want me to work on the Fourth of July in exchange for a few, less agonizing, hours of bartending?"

Bryan shrugged. "You got better plans tomorrow?" Her mouth opened to respond but the truth of the words died on her lips. "I didn't think so, you don't really play up your looks do you? I mean… you've got the hot things but the social life of that cow with the glasses that comes in here with Spock sometimes."

"Oh God," Penny was done. "You know what… go to hell, Bryan. Don't talk to me okay?" Turning around she started to walk away, flipping him off when he called her name again.

Two hours later and she was freshly punched out and incredibly exhausted. The drive home was a blur and even the stairs up to her apartment was near crippling as her feet threatened to explode in her shoes.

Still, once she reached the fourth level, Penny stopped at 4A and knocked softly before turning the unlocked door. He knew her shift ended at eight and he promised to leave it unlocked for her. Stepping inside, Penny found him violently slamming the buttons of an old video game controller.

"Hey you," she offered softly and he glanced at her hastily before continuing to hammer away at his game. Then a sad sound played on the TV and Sheldon tossed his controller onto the floor and sank into his spot. "Whoa," she offered with a defensive gaze before sitting down next to him. "You okay, MoonPie?" Sheldon glared at her and Penny smiled softly. "Bad day?"

"Terrible," he murmured.

At that, Penny scooted closer to him and their shoulders touched softly before she gently laid her head against him. "I'm sorry, I had a crappy day too."

Sheldon nudged her off him with a shrug. "I highly doubt that serving Cheesecake all day could possibly equal the absolute nightmare that was my Friday, Penny. I was not only cheated out of a tremendous grant that could have done magnificent things for pending research on cold dark matter in favor of funding some juvenile attempt by Leslie Winkle to prove Loop Theory. I still stand firm in my belief that she has some sort of information withheld over Dr. Gabelhouser, I find no other reason as to why he continues to keep her around." He shook his head angrily. "She has yet to contribute anything useful to science."

"Yeah, you're a better scientist than she'll ever be." Penny said sounding far to serious as she was merely trying to make him feel better even though she really hadn't been listening. Still, he looked at her admirably and nodded. "I bet you didn't get puked on though."

With that, Sheldon stood up in a rush and raced away from her while Penny fell over into his spot.

"Good Lord, Penny is that why you reek of hamburger."

Penny sat up and glared at him. "That or the fact that I've been serving them all day," she rose to her feet and let her hair out of the ponytail she'd been holding it in. As she swung it loose she saw Sheldon go rigid and look away from her. She smiled. "I'll go shower, okay? Have you ordered food yet?"

He shook his head. "I was awaiting your arrival, I shall order while you… shower." His face went bright red and Penny bit her lip hard to fight off a giggle. "Please be quick, we are playing Ninja Gaiden this evening and it is quite possibly the hardest game of all time."

"Oooh," Penny said in mock fear before making her exit as he picked up the phone to order their dinner.

Once she was freshly showered and dressed in a big pair of sweats and a big Nebraska Cornhuskers t-shirt, Penny shimmied into the kitchen and started to pluck through the random bottles atop her fridge.

That was when she found it…

"Dude," it was the name of the Vodka in a bright green bottle. She remembered it's taste… Mountain Dew. Penny grinned mischievously and plucked it from atop the refrigerator and grabbed a pair of glasses as well.

MoonPie might not be up for drinking, but she wasn't going to be without a second glass if he might be feeling frisky.

* * *

By the time Penny made it back to 4A Sheldon was back in his spot with a bag of food at the table and had already started eating his Orange Chicken and had dumplings waiting for her. She smiled, it felt silly because of course he knew her order but they were right next to him, he expected her to sit right next to him and there was no doubt that she would.

"So Sheldon," Penny started, sitting down next to him and setting her large, bright green bottle on the table. "You wanna try some of this. It tastes like Mountain Dew."

His eyes found the bottle first, a piece of chicken lingering between his chop sticks as he then shifted his gaze to her. "I don't drink alcohol, Penny."

"You have before and it's not like I'm gonna let you make a fool of yourself or anything. Trust me when I tell you that nothing will make you forget about Leslie Winkle faster than a little hooch, Honey." She then went on to pour the drink into both glasses and slid one over to him. "We could play a drinking game." She offered and he took another bite of his food as she opened hers.

Sheldon sighed and sat down his chicken. "Penny, while I am, as you know, a tremendously fun individual to be around and enjoy hijinks and shenanigans as much as any other theoretical physicist. The idea of incorporating alcohol into any game seems rather pointless."

"One night of drinking," she started with food in her mouth and stopped at his glower to swallow. "One night of drinking isn't going to make you an alcoholic Sheldon, it's Friday night, you don't have to work tomorrow and neither do I. After kite flying last week I am _so _invoking my date clause here and this is my date. Drinking, Chinese food and vintage video games."

With that, he eyed the green liquid as if it were some sort of intruder. He lifted the glass and spun it in his hand a bit; all the while Penny smirked and watched him. "You say it tastes like Mountain Dew."

"It really does, I wouldn't lie to you, Sweetie. You know that." Her eyes slightly pleaded with him, she wanted him to loosen up a bit with her and honestly the prospects of him _actually _drinking with her had Penny's stomach in knots. She couldn't help but wonder where that might take them as the night went along.

Taking his eyes from the vodka, he looked at her again nervously. "What was this drinking game you had in mind?"

"Uh," she hadn't really thought about that. "Oh!" She burst, picking up the old Nintendo controller. "How about when you die in the game you picked… you take a drink."

Sheldon's face went pale. "Penny, this is one of the most complicated games of all time, vintage or otherwise, I am an expert gamer, and perhaps the most talented of such in the greater Pasadena area and even I struggle. We'll be through the bottle before ten o'clock."

"Kinda the idea MoonPie."

That was when he sighed and Penny knew she'd won and she offered a subtle fist pump and Sheldon sat the drink down. "We must eat first; you need food in your system to soak up the contents of the alcohol."

Penny took a big bite of her dumpling. "Yes, we eat first."

The possibilities of their third 'date' had just grown a whole lot more enticing.

* * *

One hour and sixteen combined deaths later, Penny and Sheldon were halfway through the bottle.

All in all, Penny was still holding up pretty well. Eight shots were still a good amount but she'd been drunker, and poor Sheldon was a mess. Because of this Penny had taken to lightening his shots to almost nothing by the time he reached number five.

He was grinning like crazy, she couldn't help but love the look on his face as he played the game. Tongue sticking out and that silly smile on his face. He was mashing the buttons now, not with the precision he'd had earlier and Penny basically ran off the first cliff she could find when her turns came up because the boy was right, this game was really hard.

"You see!" He shouted with a giggle, making her jump a bit. "See there's _no way _to make your jump past that mummy looking thing there on that platform, do you see him?" Sheldon asked with a slur of anger and Penny nodded while fighting a smile. "He is blocking far too much of the tiny white platform that isn't_big _enough for anything and with all the stuff being shot around the screen it is impossible." Sheldon pressed the jump button on the controller with a thud and the sound of his character dying filled the room. "Drat…" he mumbled and looked at her miserably. "Another drink?"

Penny smiled, her eyes locked onto his… they were so blue, she couldn't get over how beautiful he was when his guard was down. "Yeah," she whispered before pouring a small shot for him and extending the glass. "Here…," she filled up her own and lifted it. "I'll drink with you."

"Penny yours is filled up way more than mine is," he stated obviously and clinked his glass against hers to compare. "See?"

She eyed them for a moment and then met his gaze. "I'm just taking care of you, Sweetie… it's kinda what we do for each other."

Sheldon nodded very slowly. "Yes, I spend a great deal of my time worrying about you when you are away. I—I find myself much in the role of Spiderman to Mary Jane Watson, I always hav-ta make sure you're okay. Though I wish I could shoot webs outta my hands and climb walls, I should look into making a radioactive spider."

"Sheldon, you can't even kill a spider let alone hold one for some experiments."

He looked at her with bleary eyes. "Good point, you're so smart." He said with a tiny laugh that she matched.

"Aww," Penny said in all seriousness and leaned over to give him a warm kiss. The motion and his loose grip caused the drink in his hand to fall right onto his Superman shirt, staining blue with green. "Oops!" Penny cried and pulled away quickly. "I'm sorry, Honey."

For a long moment, Sheldon looked down at his sticky t-shirt and slowly ran his hand over the stain. "Hmm… well I can't wear this anymore." Before she could say anything in return, Sheldon whipped his shirt over his head and sat it down on the coffee table. He was now in his gray undershirt and Penny, completely lost in the image of him taking off _anything, _panicked and tossed her own drink on him. "Penny!" He shouted and glared at her weakly. "What are you doing?"

"Uh…," she stammered and then burst out into a laugh. "I don't know… but you're all sticky again."

Rolling his eyes, Sheldon took off his long sleeved shirt as well and sat it atop Superman.

Penny's laughter died in that moment. He was shirtless, naked in front of her from the top up and she suddenly felt fifteen again and with her first boy after that dance in his brother's car. It was _that _kind of feeling, the unknown and unseen as if she were doing this for the very first time.

Reaching to the table, she grabbed the bottle and took a drink from it. "I'm gonna touch you now, okay?" Sheldon looked at her confused. "Okay?"

"Penny, I was going to go find another shirt," She shook her head and shushed him with a finger to his lips. Her hand then trailed down his jaw and neck to the base of his chest where she laid her palm flat against his skin and never left his eyes with her own. "Penny," he said slowly and she lifted herself from her spot and moved in to kiss him.

Their lips met, both of them with the same taste of tangy vodka as it mingled between them. She had both hands laid flatly against his chest. When he reached around and put his own hands on her back, she gasped into his mouth and started to giggle again. "Sorry," she whispered against his lips. "You're touching me, it's neat."

"Neat?" He countered, pulling away a bit as she blushed. "You know what's really neat?" He asked and she tilted her head in gesture for him to continue. "My fingers tips are all tingly." He looked at his hand and then back to her. "I don't have a shirt on.'

Her grin grew as she kissed him again. "Do you think I'm overdressed?" She asked sexily before kissing his nose.

Sheldon shrugged indifferently. "I think the leather on this couch is gonna stick to my back."

"I think I'm overdressed," Penny said, ignoring him as she pulled back and removed her Nebraska shirt and now sat up next to him in nothing more than her dark blue bra and sweat pants. "Now we're even." She said with a sly smile.

That was when he tilted his head, his intoxicated mind still running rampant. Penny was gently running her fingers through his hair. "Are you saying that if I were to remove my pants that you would do the same?"

Penny's eyes went wide as saucers. "Uh… probably." She glanced down at the spot he had tried to hide from her the other day after her shower. He wasn't hiding anymore.

"Like a strange game of strip Simon Says?"

She snorted out a laugh and shook her head, hair falling down across his face. "I guess so."

"I always hated that game, _Simon _says, who is Simon anyways and why do we have to listen to him? A more fitting game would be Sheldon says, since I am clearly smarter than Simon."

Penny furrowed her brow again. "Who the hell is Simon?"

Sheldon's eyes went wide with appreciation. "Exactly!"

With another labored laugh, Penny threw her head back for a moment before shifting in her spot against him. "Are you… gonna take them off?"

He was blinking rapidly, she could tell that he was trying to clear his mind from the vodka but it wasn't working. His hands were still settled on her back, his pants were still growing tighter with each second he held her. "Penny," he said her name again, clearly losing control. "I don't think I can cause you're sitting on top of me. Though I do wish to because they're starting to hurt. I am very aware of your body, your legs and… your hair." He reached up and gently stroked his fingers through her golden locks. "You… I wish to see more of you, feel more of you."

"Sweetie… you can have _all _of me," she cooed softly into his ear before nibbling on it slightly. "Anything you want, I love you."

His head rested in the crook of her neck as she reached around and unhooked her bra and let it fall between them. Sheldon quickly swatted it to the floor and took in a deep breath as Penny pulled back to show him.

She could _feel _his heart racing from their distance and knew these were the first set of actual breasts that he'd ever seen up close. He was shaking, his fingers nervously quivering on the skin of her back and she smiled to reassure him. "It's okay, you want to touch them?"

Sheldon let her go and pulled his hands up to his body, palms facing her as if he were defensive, his vision slowly moved from her body to her face. "Penny," he said again and she smiled before reaching out and grabbing his hands by the wrists. Gently, she laid his hands against her body. "Penny, " he called again and she laughed softly.

"It's okay, Sheldon. It's okay…," she leaned forward, his hands still on her loosely and kissed him. That was when her hands trailed down to his pants and she swiftly unfastened them. "Do you trust me, MoonPie?" She asked softly into his ear and he nodded, ever-so-slightly squeezing his hands together. "Good."

Rising to her feet, Penny couldn't help but laugh as Sheldon's hands followed her up still stuck on her breasts. "Sorry," he mumbled and pulled away as if they'd burned him. This only made her giggle more.

"Don't be sorry," she said before hooking the hem of his chinos and pulling them down his legs. His face was ashen and scared but he wasn't telling her to stop. She would if he did but… he wasn't.

Soon enough his pants were discarded and he sat in only his underwear and Penny removed her own sweats to help with his comfort. They were now equally naked, save their last barrier as she regained her spot atop him. "You're a virgin aren't you?" Penny asked him after a long and warm kiss.

Sheldon looked at her innocently and nodded. "I am, though Ramona Nowitzki asked me one time if I wished to 'bump uglies' with her, I said no because I had no idea what that meant until Wolowitz told me later. A girl in my middle school once grabbed my butt in the lunch line, I got her kicked out of school for sexual harassment." Penny laughed despite herself and continued to watch as his absent eyes searched for more words. "I could have, I suppose, lost it at some point but I haven't had anyone like you before… anyone who could be this naked and close to me and still make me feel comfortable."

"Stuff like that, that's why I love you." She said gently and kissed him again. "Are you drunk?" She asked and he nodded. "Too drunk that I'm taking advantage of you?"

"I have an IQ of 187, Penny. And even though I can't stop singing the Hokey Pokey song in my head, I know we're doing here, where this is leading. It's very similar to the Hokey Pokey song." He grinned and pulled a strand of her hair between his fingers, he was enthralled by her hair. "You wish to be my first."

She shook her head. "It's not about what I want, Sheldon. I need you to _want _me to be your first; I won't _take _anything from you. You have to give it to me."

"Change is the essential process of all existence," Sheldon said almost to himself and Penny pulled back with a curious smile. "That was—,"

"Spock," she finished for him and he looked at her as if she'd just given him a Nobel Prize. "Yeah, I pay attention."

Sheldon smiled, genuinely and warmly as he nodded. "I want you to be my first," he said and felt like the most important thing she had ever heard in her life. There was weight to this, responsibility to make it special.

Penny took her time in guiding him out of his briefs and delicately touching every inch of him. It was such a massive moment in his life that she wanted to make it perfect. She knew it wasn't already, they were drunk and caught up in the moment, she worried he would forget in the morning, or worse, hate her for it. But tonight, the way he was looking at her… she couldn't turn away if she tried.

At an awkward angle, she managed to slip the both of them out of their remaining clothes and positioned herself just right atop him. "You ready?" She asked breathily and he nodded with worry. "Okay," she slid herself down him slowly, her own body shaking at the feeling and surprise filling her at how amazingly perfect he felt inside of her. "Wow…," she gasped.

"What?" He questioned with concern in his expression.

Penny shook her head and regained her smile. "Nothing… just… you're big."

"I always thought this was a good thing." He slurred at the sensation and blushed profusely. "Size does matter, a tagline used in that awful Godzilla movie…,"

She shrugged. "Never really mattered to me, but it's not a bad thing."

"Am I of bigger then Leonard?" The moment he asked he regretted it by the look of anguish on Penny's face. "Sorry, I always like bein' better than him at things."

Her expression softened to a shy smile. "Sweetie, when we're in a situation like this the last thing you want to do is bring up one of my exes… or anyone else really. If you call me Uhura while we're doing this I'll punch you." With that, Penny moved just and inch and Sheldon hissed out a sound that made her stop. "What's wrong?"

Sheldon sighed tiredly. "I'm afraid I may be losing control already," he was embarrassed and Penny found her love for him growing even more.

"It's okay, I'm not expecting you to go long Sweetie… you aren't supposed to your first time." That was when she kissed him again, hoping it would satiate his fears. "Here we go." She cooed softly and started to move again

Just as Penny found a rhythm on top of him, maybe forty-five seconds in, Sheldon whispered her name as he came inside of her. She felt him shudder under the gentility of her touch. His arms pulled her in close to him, as if he was hanging onto her for dear life and Penny soaked in the feeling of his hold.

After a minute of him catching his breath, he released her and their eyes met. Penny leaned down, cupping his face with her hands and kissed him. "You okay?"

"Y—yes," he answered shakily and nodded. "Thank you. I must say that puts the excitement of our shared Halo victories to shame."

Kissing him again, Penny removed herself from atop him only to shift just a bit and lay down next to him on the couch. She grabbed a blanket from over the back of the recliner and covered them with it as Sheldon drifted into sleep and she ran her fingers over his chest and smiled to herself.

Tomorrow would bring with it sobriety and panic and everything else that might tear them apart. But tonight she was lying with the man she loved and a wish granted that she could have never imagined.

It was nothing like any of her dreams, it was so much more than that.


	16. The Morning Misapprehension

**The Morning Misapprehension**

Penny woke up first and felt oddly comfortable even though she knew it was a person she was lying on. Her body was sticky and warm as she rose up slowly, using the back of the couch for leverage to rise up without disturbing the boy below her. Glancing down at his face, she smiled… he was so peaceful in his sleep, even now completely different than any moment she had ever seen him. Naked and unbidden, one arm still lazily curled around her hip, he was just Sheldon, still Sheldon.

She knew deep down that everything about him was ideal in her own mind. That everything about _them _was romanticized and seemed more perfect than it probably was. Even now, the feeling in her stomach that she'd slept so amazingly in his arms, fit so well seemed unreal because this couch really wasn't built for them. It wasn't meant to hold two people in one spot to sleep.

It took her a bit to soak in the sight around them. She wasn't foggy on the memories, her head only throbbed a little from the vodka and there wasn't much of a reach to grab her clothes, she just had to make it off the couch without waking him up.

Years of sneaking out of random guys' apartments in the early morning hours (certainly not as many as Sheldon assumed) she managed to make it to her feet and started dressing. Fear started to coarse through her at the idea of him waking up now and being furious with her. She hadn't forced him to drink or forced him to do anything against his will but she'd known he was drunk last night.

Once back in her sweats and Cornhuskers t-shirt, Penny moved to his face and knelt down next to him. She wasn't about to slip away and let him wake up to deal with this alone. Reaching out slowly, she gently brushed the hair atop his head and leaned in to kiss his lips softly.

He stirred slowly at first, then burst up at the realization he was somewhere different. "Danger!"

"No," she called, drawing him to her voice. "No danger, just me." She offered him her brightest smile and then most sympathetic eyes when he clutched at his forehead and whined.

"Oh… dear Lord," he mumbled and slowly laid back down. To no one in particular, he asked. "Why do I feel so terrible?"

Penny continued to stroke his hair. "You're okay, Sweetie. Are you feeling sick? Like you might throw up?"

Suddenly, the sensation of the couch on his skin must have relayed to his overworked mind because he sat up again. "I'm naked?" He looked at her with worry. "Why am I naked, Penny? Was I abducted by aliens?"

"No, Sheldon, you weren't abducted by aliens."

This seemed to worry him even more. "We… you… I had _coitus _with you!" He cried and cringed at the word he loved to use and Penny felt her stomach drop to her feet. "You made me drink and took away my inhibitions… Penny you—"

She cut him off. "I didn't _make _you do anything, Sheldon. You agreed to drink, you agreed to be naked _with _me and we made love together."

"Made love?" He screeched, trying desperately to cover himself with the blanket as he retrieved his clothes with an arm snaking out from under his wool shield. "You took advantage of me." Sheldon pulled his pants on under the blanket and then his shirt, looking at her angrily. "I want you to leave." He demanded, and Penny felt the tears coming already.

"Sheldon," she whispered, standing up and feeling her hands turn to ice as she hugged herself. "I didn't take advantage of you… I would never."

He looked away from her, hating the sight of her tears. "I detest the fact that the events of last evening are so muddled in my mind, Penny." There was pleading in his eyes, but she knew it was him asking her to leave him alone. "I have woken up, naked and miserable in my spot on this couch… _my _spot and I cannot remember…," his mind started to race again, she could see it in his eyes. "I must shower, Penny _please _go away."

It was the risk she'd taken last night, it was the risk she'd taken when she told him how she felt or when she'd kissed him. Penny knew at some point he would break her heart, she'd been preparing for it the entire time.

None of her preparation was capable of handling this, he looked so_ betrayed._

"I'm sorry I disgust you, but you know what? What we did last night has been done by almost every _normal _person over the age of eighteen and they're all just fine!" She wanted to hurt him, she couldn't understand why… but she wanted to hurt him. "I knew this was a mistake. I shouldn't have trusted you…" she cried before turning quickly and racing out of his apartment. She couldn't cross the hall fast enough; her legs gave out at the door of 4B and she collapsed in front of it, crying.

Five minutes passed before she struggled to her feet and let herself inside. The couch took the brunt of her fall as she curled up tightly and laid in silence as the misery of it all washed over her.

Penny wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard the knocking on her door. It wasn't Sheldon's knock so she struggled to find the want to answer. Three more set of knocks came and she finally pulled herself up to open the door.

She must have looked terrible because Amy didn't hesitate at all to take the blonde into her arms, drag her back inside and close the door to shield them from the rest of the world.

"I'm such a whore," Penny whispered into the air as Amy was making coffee sometime later. It was the first thing she'd actually said since her best friend arrived.

Amy stopped what she was doing and returned to the couch. "You are not a whore, whores are generally evil women who kill those of whom they have defiled and I'm quite certain you have no blood on your hands."

Tears spilled down Penny's cheeks. "I hurt him,"

"Sheldon?" Penny nodded. "So you and Sheldon engaged in coitus last night, is that what all of this is about?" Her only answer was to sadly lay her head against Amy's constantly waiting shoulder. Even though the brunette wrapped her arms warmly around her friend, she began to gently chuckle.

Penny pulled away with confusion and hurt. "What?"

"Oh no, I'm not laughing at your horrendous situation or the predicament you find yourself in. I am laughing at the absolute irony of this morning… my real reason for coming here being completely trumped by the events that took place between you and a future Nobel Prize candidate across the hall."

Reaching up, Penny wiped her eyes and swallowed hard. "What was your reason for coming here?"

Amy flushed heavily and licked her dry lips with a shy smile. "I was going to inform you of my budding relationship with a certain wistful little man, who happens to be roommates with the boy for whom you carry a torch so brightly for, that you might set us _all_ on fire."

"I—" Penny's mind took a moment to rearrange all the words. "Leonard?" She sat up fully and let the shock wash over her, hating how her mouth fell open with confusion. "You and Leonard are… budding?"

Again Amy blushed, looking away to hide her silly smile. "We have been exchanging text messages and phone calls for the better part of the last month and a half. I chose this morning to tell you of this because I needed two things, one was your blessing and the other was, hopefully, your expertise in dating one of these rather untapped boys who spend most of their time reading comic books and playing video games. I mean you have kind of made your way through the group."

The misery washed over Penny again. "Oh God…. See? Whore!" She groaned and burying her face in her hands again.

"You aren't, well perhaps your tryst with Rajesh was a bit scandalous but with Sheldon now you were guided by love, not lust. There is nothing wrong with that."

Penny eyed her friend with a shameful smile. "I got him drunk."

Amy nodded. "Did you hold him down and force the alcohol on him?" She asked and Penny shook her head. "Then he is responsible for the intoxication levels he reached last night." Penny's face didn't seem all that reassured. "It's true, despite what I know you feel for Sheldon, he is a grown man."

"Sure, he's full grown and can be sweet and he's so smart. And last night he was so cute and sexy and—" Penny wanted to scream or punch something; she just wanted Sheldon to tell her it was okay. "You know what? Forget about me for now, what is this about you and Leonard?"

"Oh," Amy stood as if she'd been scandalized. She was blushing and pacing, wringing her hands together with pent up nervous energy. "I believe I have entered into a long distance relationship," Amy said quickly, licking her lips. "With your ex-boyfriend, I am much like Jennifer Carter, a horrendous girl I went to high school with who dated one of our teachers. A Mr. Faulk who was fifty-five years old and had a glass eye, though it did sometimes seem to look right into your soul and Jennifer was always a renegade harlot."

Slowly, Penny stood and grabbed Amy by both shoulders to stop her steady pacing. "Ames, look at me." The brunette did. "You have feelings for Leonard?" Penny asked and her friend nodded. "I do, like some sort of illness it's snuck up on me. Acquired some sort of stomach ulcer or random form of scarlet fever, but my mother merely informed me that I was smitten."

Letting it all wash over her, Penny dropped her grip from Amy's shoulders and took a step back. This was Leonard, the boy across the hall who'd brought her into his world with these people, giving her stability and friends. The same boy who had helped her find security and safety after leaving Kurt.

This was Sheldon's roommate. Sheldon… shit, his name stuck, and suddenly Leonard was gone from her mind. That was when Penny realized she didn't care if Amy liked Leonard. She had seen the signs, and hearing it now was like being shot with a 'pay attention' cannon… but she didn't care. Amy's eyes were too full of happiness, and Penny found herself gazing deeply into them, smiling as well.

"Does he feel the same way?"

"I honestly do not know. I am terrible at reading these sorts of things. When I was in college I thought a boy liked me, he was foreign, talking to me in the soft and sweet tones of his native tongue and winking at me. So, I took a chance and kissed him after a class and he started screaming and crying. I never did figure out why, but I was required to attend a sexual harassment seminar the following morning."

Penny laughed, despite the misfortune of poor Amy. "I'm sorry, Sweetie. What kinds of stuff to do you and Leonard talk about? Is it just science?"

"It started out that way," Amy started, sitting down again. "He was asking me about my work to prepare for a seminar that they were all attending. Of course I was prompt and ready, as I always am, to talk about neurobiology. But when he called to thank me the next day, we covered many other topics; least of which included his mother's lack of care for him, and I found myself falling under the spell of his desperation for that sort of affection. As you well know, I have an overabundance bottled up need to please than a prostitute with six vaginal openings." Penny covered her mouth in shock but Amy never flinched. "I—I find myself thinking about him constantly."

With that, Penny retook her seat next to Amy and patted her knee softly. "Then go for it," Amy looked up at the blonde expectantly. "I fully support you and Leonard. I've seen the way you look when your phone goes off, and it all makes sense now. When he comes homes… you make that boy _yours_."

"You are… okay with me dating your ex-boyfriend?"

With a nod and a small smile, Penny glanced to the door behind them. "I've got bigger problems." Taking a deep breath, Penny closed her eyes. "I should talk to him."

"He isn't home," Amy said simply, making Penny look at her with confusion. "I passed him on my way up the stairs. He was oddly reserved, and refused my offer of a ride."

"Oh _God_, I hope he didn't take the bus anywhere, I always worry about him on that stupid thing." With a roll of her own eyes, Penny lowered her head sadly. "I always worry about him. Period."

Amy grinned sheepishly. "Who would have ever predicted that you and I would switch paramours in a matter of only two months? It's sort of like we dipped our toes in the same pool. Well, I have merely dipped into the Sheldon pool but you went skinny dipping in my new Leonard pool."

Penny cringed.

* * *

Four hours later, Penny found herself absently carrying her cell phone around with the number already dialed and waiting to be sent. She'd spent most of her morning trying to sleep after Amy left but failed miserably, and had taken to trying to listen through the walls for any sound of Sheldon's safe return. She hadn't heard anything but wasn't about to go stalker and wait in his apartment, though she had the key and easily _could_.

If he needed space and time, then she was going to give it to him. No matter what it was doing to her own sanity.

Finally she caved, tapping the send button on her cell phone and taking a seat at her kitchen counter and listening to the ringback tone. Of course her mother had a ringback tone, and _of course _it was _Thriller_.

"Hello?" Her mom's voice sounded, and Penny smiled.

"Hey, Mom," she offered and began playing with her small salt shaker. "It's Penny."

"I know that, honey. You haven't been gone that long."

Penny sighed. "Right, how are you guys?"

There was a small pause. "Oh we're getting along okay. Your dad and I went out last night for the first time in ages. I don't really know where it came from but he decided to take me to the Old Miners Steak House in town, and it was really great. We even got a little dressed up and then dressed _down_ afterwards."

"Oh _God_, Mom!" Penny cried, standing suddenly and moving to her couch. "_Please_ keep that stuff too yourself."

She could hear her mother's chipper laugh on the other end of the phone and Penny had to admit, it was wonderful to hear. "I'm sorry, dear, but you must know how rare it is that you father and I can be like that with one another."

"I still say the stork brought me, okay?"

Kathleen chuckled a bit more sardonically. "You always _were_ a dreamer." Penny lets the silence fall for a minute, awaiting any sort of question from her mother that she knew was coming. "So, did you tell that boy you love him yet?"

Mom never was one to mince words. "Yeah," Penny admitted sadly, knowing her tone would worry.

"Oh, did he turn you down?"

Penny laughed darkly. "Well, not _really_. I don't know. We've been…" She cleared her throat loudly, forgetting that this was her mother and not some girlfriend. "I've kissed him and stuff but we're not really committed to anything."

"Penny, you're not _giving_ it away are you?"

After the initial shock of her mother asking if she was being a slut passed, Penny found herself giggling. "I _wish_!" She cried, shaking her head. "Mom, this guy can barely stand the idea of '_exchanging fluids'_ with me while we're kissing. Sex is…" She swallowed. "I don't know."

There was a moment where she heard her mother breathing into the phone and Penny worried she'd said something wrong. "You really _don't, _do you?"

"Not at all." Penny finally lay back against the cushion, letting her body relax for really the first time all day. She ran her hands through her hair, remembering when Sheldon had been doing the same thing. A wave of sadness washed over her. "I'm in trouble."

Her mother's smile was in her voice. "I can see that, just promise me you'll be careful, okay? Love can be brutal."

"I will," Penny said, only partially lying. She was _trying _to be careful with all this, but her caution disappeared whenever she was around him. "I should probably go so I can clean up my apartment a little."

Kathleen snorted. "Oh _please_, like you would ever voluntarily clean."

"Hey, I clean my place! If you ever came out to visit you'd see." Penny countered, only slightly snickering at the reversal of the moment. It was usually her mom griping about Penny's _lack_ of visits.

"Hmm, well you have a birthday coming up in August. Maybe we'll take a trip up there and celebrate it with you."

When Penny left Nebraska, it was never solely to get away from her family but that had been a _bit_ of a selling point at the time. Now though, the idea of having them come here and be with her for her twenty-seventh birthday was wonderfully enticing. "I would love that, Mom," she said in a soft and childlike voice

"Oh," her mom replied, clearly surprised at the absolute want of her daughter to have them visit. "Well then… we'll make the arrangements."

That was when Penny heard the door open and close across the hall. "Great, listen Mom, I have to go. I'll call you next week okay?"

"Okay, love you Penny."

"You too, Mom," Penny said, already heading out the door. "Bye." She hung up the phone and tossed it back onto her couch before closing the door behind her and moving rapidly to 4A. Once outside the door, however, she froze, feeling the muscles in her legs weaken.

Building up all of her courage, she knocked softly three times.

"Sheldon,"

Again she knocked.

"Sheldon,"

The third set of knocks brought a smile to her face. It was their thing, apparently.

"Sheldon." And then, a moment later, the door was being opened, and he was standing in front of her with his gaze was everywhere but on her. He took a step back, and Penny shuffled inside quickly for fear he might change his mind. "So… what did you do today?"

He sent her a look of derision and sighed. "Are you trying to avoid and unpleasant conversation with banal chit-chat?"

Penny glared pointedly at him. "It's better than freaking out and running away."

"I believe I had every right to react in the manner that I did, Penny. You—" Something in his eyes shifted, and she saw the fear hit him, making all of her anger dissipate in an instant. "I never doubted that you and I were headed in that direction. Though I know very little about sexual intercourse, I was never ignorant of it. My reactions to you and the way I feel around you were indicators that, at some point, I would desire to be with you in that way."

Her smile grew wider with each word he said, but when she tried to move closer to him, Sheldon raised his hand to stop her.

"Last night was not the way I envisioned losing my virginity, Penny. It is not the way I would have wished our first time to be."

The backs of her eyes heated up with tears that would eventually find their escape. She lowered her head shamefully and nodded. "I'm sorry, I—I just never know what you're thinking or what you feel." She looked up at him, watching as he shifted uncomfortably at the sight of her gentle crying. "I didn't know if you would ever want to be with me any other way."

"Experiments are not proven overnight, Penny. They take _time_ and effort."

That was when she took a step towards him and planted the palm of her hand on his chest. "I'm willing to put in the time and effort, just… I'm sorry about last night but I'm not really sorry, because it was wonderful."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I don't think I would call last night _wonderful_, my performance was sub-par at best."

"Your… _performance_?" She asked, with slight mirth in her tone. "You mean—"

"Much like Leonard's career, I fizzled out rather quickly."

Penny couldn't help herself, she giggled and fell against his chest, huggin him tightly and Sheldon resignedly embraced her back. "It was your first time, Sheldon. I'm betting that's the first time anyone has ever… touched you_there_."

He scoffed. "Penny, I am a man of constant upkeep on my health. I've had my fair share of hernia examinations."

"Yeah," she pulled back to look up at him. "And is your doctor a man or a woman?"

"A 67 year old man with a lazy eye and a vice grip." He retorted annoyance, making Penny grin again. "I suppose I see your point."

Stepping away from him, Penny put her hands behind her back. "You just need a little time, Sweetie. Some more practice and you'll be able to go longer and enjoy it more."

Sheldon flushed profusely. "I am quite sure that I enjoyed the experience of last evening in that moment, Penny. Though, I understand that you are acclimated to far more stimulation than I was able to offer."

"Last night was the most romantic night of my life, Honey. _Not_ because of how long you lasted, or what state we were in. It was amazing because it was _you_. That's what love does to people."

He nodded slowly. "I see," was all he said but she could feel the tension easing off of him and it made her warm with happiness. "It is nearly eight o'clock, would you care to join me for laundry night?"

Penny grinned. "You mean like a _fourth_ date?"

"I suppose, if you wish to label laundry night. Although, we _have_ been doing our laundry together for nearly four years now."

Moving in close to him again, Penny rose up and gave a soft kiss. "So, we're good then? You're not mad at me?"

Sheldon sighed. "I'm not mad, even if I am still not pleased with the turn of events from last evening but as I said, it was an inevitability." He pursed his lips, looking directly into her eyes. "I hope you do not lose your patience with me in the near future as it may be a while before I am ready to engage in such an act again while sober. I am still in the middle of this experiment."

"I guess I'll have to start taking more showers." She purred with a sexy smirk, causing Sheldon's face to turn bright red. "Let me go get my laundry ready." As she turned to leave, Sheldon called her name.

"_Penny_!" She stopped, looking back to him. "I nearly forgot that I purchased you a gift this afternoon as I felt it necessary, considering I brought you to tears this morning."

Watching him turn and move down the hall, Penny felt her stomach twist into knots at what he could have possibly gotten her. Of course he would think it social convention to give a girl a gift after making her cry.

Yep, she loved the hell out of the big Whack-A-Doodle.

When he returned a moment later, he was carrying a small bag, holding it out to her. "Here. No obligatory return gift is required. I believe you already gave me a rather enjoyable present last evening."

It was Penny's turn to blush as she reached into the bag and pulled out a small bobble head doll. It was Hello Kitty.

"Aww," she cooed and looked up at him with suddenly watery eyes. "I _love_ it," she squealed, squeezing him tightly.

"You are crying again," He sighed, "am I going to have to buy you another gift."

Penny laughed into his chest. "Not for happy tears, Sweetie. I love you." She said, Penny felt it was necessary to tell him this as often as possible. He never returned it, and she knew he didn't feel that way about her. But Sheldon hadn't been told by many people that they loved him, and she wanted him to know that he was loved.

Again, his arms found their way around her small body, holding her delicately. "Thank you, Penny."

* * *

Side by side, Penny and Sheldon made their way back up the stairs with freshly washed clothes in their respective laundry baskets. The night had been rather uneventful, save for a few silly conversations about some of the tenants of the building and Sheldon then went on a rant about Alicia in 5A having furniture moved in and how much noise she was making, which Penny had found incredibly funny.

They had also shared a few intimate kisses with Penny perched on a washing machine and Sheldon standing between her legs while he played with her hair in quiet fascination.

Once they reached the fourth floor, Penny found herself not wanting to part from him. She stood solidly in the middle of the hall, laundry basket on her hip as Sheldon started to open his door.

When he stepped inside, he looked back at her curiously. "Penny?" He called and she balked, bemused. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" She answered, and sighed at her own absurdity. "Yeah, I just… kinda don't want to go home."

Sheldon nodded. "I see. Would you care to come in for some tea and a Battlestar Galactica marathon?"

"_Sure_!" She exclaimed, probably so brightly, that that any normal guy would see her as hopelessly desperate but Sheldon merely nodded, allowing her room to come inside. Bringing her basket with her, she set it on the ground near the door and flopped down on the couch.

Three episodes and two cups of tea later, Penny was nestled against Sheldon's side and nearly pressing him against the arm of the couch. He never argued that she was invading his personal space or making him uncomfortable, so she continued taking little risks to be near him.

Sex was a _big_ deal. Last night had been special to her, and Penny knew it was irrational but she _needed_ to be close to him tonight. She wanted it to feel like it was a big step between them.

Once the last show ended, he turned off the DVD player and glanced down at her, half asleep against him. "Penny, I am ready for bed."

"Oh," she swallowed and moved away slightly while rubbing her eyes. "Okay," she hated that he picked up on the blatent sadness in her tone. "Goodnight," she said before leaning in and giving him a sweet kiss on the lips that he returned tenderly.

She stood slowly, starting to reach for her basket. As she lifted it up, she realized that Sheldon was standing behind her. "Penny?" His close proximity made her jump. "Would you care to stay here this evening? You seem troubled by the idea of going back to your own apartment."

"I—I would like that… to stay here with you." She said with a smile and lifted a few things out of her basket. "I even have my sleeping stuff."

Sheldon nodded with satisfaction. "Very well, I'll go find you some blankets for the couch. I spent the better part of the morning cleaning it, as it was covered in our sweat and fluids."

Penny didn't follow him as he moved to the retrieve her a blanket. "Uh, Sweetie I was kinda thinking more along the lines of us… you know… sharing a _bed_? Maybe _your_ bed."

"_What_?" Sheldon returned in a high pitched voice. "Penny I do not wish to engage in coitus with you this evening."

She shook her head vigorously. "No! Not _sex_, Sheldon! Just _sleeping_ with each other… next to each other."

"Penny my bed is a _twin_, it is not meant for two people. And you are a very volatile sleeper."

Her brow furrowed. "A _volatile_ sleeper?"

"Yes," he nodded. "You move around a lot _and_ tend to snore. I have seen it in the nights you've stayed here."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, smiled. "You watch me sleep?" For the thousandth time that week, she made him blush. "I promise I won't be… _volatile_. I just think we should try it, fully clothed and together. You might like it."

Sheldon stared at her in, at least, two minutes of contemplative silence as Penny clutched her Hello Kitty shorts and bright purple camisole, waiting. Finally, he resignedly laid the blanket down on the couch and gestured for her to lie down.

Penny sighed in defeat and nodded. "You know what, maybe I'll just go back to my place."

"Penny," he said and she stopped before turning around. "I suggest we take the couch, as we did the night you watched Star Wars with me, following our game of Star Wars Monopoly. I slept well and we were in close proximity of one another. Though I _do_ remember waking up alone."

Smiling at him, Penny looked down at the couch. "Feet to feet?" She asked and he agreed with a nod. "Okay, why don't you go get ready and I'll run across the hall, change and get ready and we'll meet back here?

"Very well. And Penny?" She waited. "Please refrain from wearing socks to bed tonight as the last time we did this your fluffy pink ones tickled my feet incessantly."

Taking a step to him, she stood on her tip toes and kissed him quickly. "Will do, MoonPie."

Ten minutes later they were face to face again, with Sheldon in his Saturday pajamas and Penny in her shorts and camisole. Her pink robe settled on the coffee table for morning.

They climbed under the covers simultaneously and settled down into the comfort of the couch, the comfort of one another.

When their feet touched, Sheldon hissed a bit. "Your feet are cold," he whispered, glancing down at her as she giggled.

"Sorry," she replied, but then proceeded to again touch their feet together. Though he glared at her, he didn't pull away. "At some point you're gonna have to get a bigger bed for us. Or you'll have to sleep with me in mine."

Sheldon let out a tired breath and mumbled. "Someday I will." He then did something that nearly killed Penny right there. Running his foot lightly up her leg, he whispered, "Goodnight, Penny."

Sheldon nestled his foot between her ankles just before the pair fell asleep.


	17. The Colossal Conception

**The Colossal Conception**

**Three Weeks Later**

Reaching up blindly, Penny pulled the lever on the toilet and listened to the sounds of it flushing. She rose back up to her feet and staggered towards the sink in her bathroom. It was three in the afternoon and she'd puked for the third time that day.

She was sick, no doubt coming down with something she'd caught at work. Penny quickly brushed her teeth and wiped the sweat from her face before making her way back out to the living room of her apartment where Amy was still watching the movie.

It was Penny's favorite movie; in fact, it was the first movie she could ever remember seeing. _The Land Before Time_. There was something about that Little Foot that she adored. She even had a big stuffed animal of him in her collection; it was one of her most beloved.

When she returned to the couch, Amy reached over and grabbed the remote to pause the movie. Penny gave her a bemused look before Amy settled a gaze on her bestie and tilted her head analytically. "That is the second time you have expelled fluids since I arrived. Are you ill?"

"I think I'm getting sick, that's actually the third time I've done that today." Penny sighed and smiled mostly to dispel the worry in her friend's eyes. "I'm sure it's nothing. I do eat at least one meal a day at the Cheesecake Factory about five times a week. That can't be healthy."

As Penny reached for the remote, Amy stopped her. "Wait; is that your only symptom? Vomiting?"

Penny shrugged. "I guess I've been tired, but that'ss probably because I keep drinking so much tea late at night with Sheldon, and I end up peeing a lot. Plus we're still adjusting to trying to sleep together sometimes… on his couch."

"Yes, but Penny, drinking fluids late at night is not anything _new_ to your routine, whether it be wine, coffee or tea. Have you always been a night owl when it comes to urinating?"

"What?" Penny asked, suddenly feeling a bit unsure. "I—I don't know, not really. Usually when I sleep I'm dead to the world but I guess I've been getting up more lately. You're the doctor… do you think something is wrong?"

"Is there blood in the urine?"

"No," Penny answered easily. "I have checked that because it did kinda worry me a little that I kept having to get up and I've been feeling really tired lately… and the puking. I'm _sure_ it's just a bug." Penny grabbed the remote. "Come on, let's finish the movie."

Just as she settled back onto the couch, her stomach tightened again and Penny couldn't suppress her groan of pain.

"That's _it_!" Amy responded to the noise and stood up to shut off the DVD player. "We're going to the doctor."

Penny paled. "Ames, _no_… please I hate the doctor, it's fine… I'm a big girl, I can handle a little stomach bug."

Her best friend paused for only a moment and smirked ever-so-slightly. "Do you wish for me to tell _Sheldon _that you're not feeling well?"

"Oh _God, _that's not fair!"

Amy grinned. "Yes, I know this because much like women in the 50s couldn't resist the Fonz, despite his blatant homosexual nature, you _cannot _resist the pleas of your lover, and if I bring in the big guns, not only will you be at the hospital faster than I can say '_take me Leonard,' _you will have been poked and prodded by Dr. Cooper and most likely have to urinate in his measuring cup."

Despite the fact that Amy was still making her own case, Penny was already putting her jacket on. "Even though I would kill to be _poked _and _prodded _by Dr. Cooper I'm not about to let him know I'm sick unless I know what it is first. You're driving me though 'cause my stomach is kind of a mess."

"What if you vomit in my car?" Amy asked as she followed Penny out the door.

"Hey I was happily _vomiting _in my own bathroom, thank you very much. This whole hospital thing was _your_ idea."

The girls made their way down the stairs one by one. Amy following her friend as she fished her keys out of her purse. "I am merely trying to keep you intact as you are. Your body weight is ideal ad we can't have you throwing up and risk taking away the shape of your behind that I swear I could bounce a quarter off of, if you would simply give me the opportunity."

"You're not throwing pocket change at my butt, Sweetie." Penny retorted half-heartedly as they reached the lobby, and eventually made their way to Amy's car.

* * *

Penny hated hospitals, seriously, she _hated_ them. Ever since she was little and that bad doctor had stuck the needle in her arm and grazed the bone with it, she'd never wanted to come back. Now she was sitting on an uncomfortable table with a paper sheet draped across it and instead of wearing the pretty pink top she'd had on earlier, she was clad in a silly, backless gown. Thank _God_ they'd let her keep her jeans on.

It was quiet in the room now, she looked down at the stupid Band-Aid where they'd taken blood from, and couldn't help feeling six years old again. Luckily, she didn't cry this time, even though she wanted to.

She _really _hated needles.

Now she was waiting on the results of a blood test that would show absolutely nothing and they'd give her that gross pink medicine that they _said _tasted like bubble gum, but just tasted like ass.

The doctor this time was nice enough, Dr. Fitzgerald. She was a rather gorgeous older woman with dark hair and wonderful skin that Penny was insanely jealous of. When all this was over she was definitely going to pry into what moisturizer the good doctor was using.

It _felt_ like forever, but probably wasn't by the time Dr. Fitzgerald made her way back into the room. She was wearing a pair of glasses this time and was holding a small chart of some kind.

Penny did _not_ like the unsettling expression on her doctor's face. "Okay," Dr. Fitzgerald started before rolling over her stool to sit down. "When was the last time you had your period, Penny?"

"Uh," Penny balked. "I—I don't know… five weeks maybe? I'm a little late I guess, but that happens to me sometimes."

Dr. Fitzgerald smiled but it was weak, unsure. "I'm afraid that's not the case this time."

_Oh God, _there was really something wrong. Penny felt her stomach twist into knots and her hands start to shake. "It's not cancer is it? Ovarian cancer… that's what killed my grandmother."

"No, no," Dr. Fitzgerald reassured her with apologetic eyes. "It's not cancer. Penny… your blood test shows that you're pregnant."

The shaking ceased, the knots in her stomach disappeared and all coherent thought vanished into nothing more than flashes of white noise. Her mouth fell open involuntarily. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over and she felt lost, and kept waiting to wake up.

Finally, she was roused from her haze when the doctor handed her a box of tissues. "It's very early, I'd say—"

"Three weeks," Penny whispered, plucking a tissue and dabbing at her eyes. "Oh _fuck."_

Dr. Fitzgerald smiled sympathetically. "I take it this wasn't planned?"

Penny laughed sardonically. "No, this _definitely_ wasn't in the plan."

"Penny," the brunette then rolled her chair closer to the scared girl and touched her knees gently. "Do you wish to terminate this pregnancy?"

She thought about it, for a good thirty seconds she thought about having it taken away from her. But she couldn't, she didn't have it in her in that moment and… it wasn't her decision to make alone. "_No_," she shook her head and buried her face in her hands. "This wasn't supposed to _happen_."

"I know, but it _has _happened and if you're not considering abortion, then I can help you be ready for this. I know what's it's like to get pregnant when you're not ready. I'm thirty-six years old and my eighteen year old son can attest to my absolute _lack_ of readiness." Something about the woman's voice and maybe her words calmed Penny down a little. She had started shaking again, but at least able to put together a few random thoughts.

Penny wiped at her eyes again with the tissue. "What do I _do_?"

"Do you know the father?" The doctor asked with as much sweetness in her voice as she could muster. Penny nodded with a self-deprecating chuckle. "Then I'd say step one is to tell _him_." Again the blonde nodded, but she didn't want to speak, she just wanted to listen. "I'll get you some pre-natal vitamins and… some pamphlets with information that might help you to cope with your own emotions and with telling the father or your family," Penny felt more waves of grief hitting her. How was she going to explain this to her family, to Amy… or _Leonard_? "Then we'll set you up for your first OBGYN visit in a few of weeks."

Taking a deep breath, Penny shook her head slowly. "This is really happening."

"It is," Dr. Fitzgerald returned in a bit of a no-nonsense voice. "The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can be ready to _deal_ with it." Though her tone was heavy, her smile was warm and welcoming and Penny felt an odd kinship to the doctor. "Would you like me to send in your friend who came with you?"

_Amy, _Penny needed her in the worst way. "_Please_."

"Okay," the doctor stood and exited quickly, leaving Penny all alone again.

Only… she _wasn't_ and as her hand found her stomach she started to cry again, falling back to lie down on the paper covered bed.

She had had scares before in her life. Once when she was sixteen with TJ and then there was that horrifying day before she'd left Kurt, where she had been sitting on the edge of the bathtub with a pee-stick in her hand and had no idea where Kurt even _was_. She'd found out later that day that he was having sex with that slutty barista who used to flirt with him when they would go get coffee.

But this was _real_. It wasn't a stick in a bathroom, it was blood work and a _hospital_.

The door opened and Amy came inside with worry in her eyes and a plastered on smile that wouldn't have fooled a blind man. "Hey bestie," Amy said, before sitting down as Penny sat up so that they were shoulder to shoulder.

"Hi," Penny offered, leaning her head onto the waiting shoulder of her best friend.

"So," Amy cleared her throat. "I've been in enough hospitals to know that they don't usually allow best friends, _even_ ones as closely tied together as you and I, to come in and console a patient during a checkup. Which only leads me to believe that it's bad news and that has led me to become more nervous than a tit mouse in a cat house." Amy's attempt at humor, though unintentional fell flat between the both of them even though Penny smiled sadly.

"I'm not sick… I'm _pregnant_."

Amy stiffened above her, and Penny slowly pulled away and looked into the watery eyes of her friend. Amy's smile was no longer forced. "Oh my _gosh!" _Amy shrieked, hugging fervently. "You're having a _baby_! Oh that kid is going to be _gorgeous! _With your beauty and Sheldon's mind and the two of you compiling more sexual energy than a couple of gorillas in heat that kid is going to be the total _package_!"

The excitement from Amy began to bleed over to Penny for only a moment. In that moment she forgot about the fear of telling Sheldon or Leonard or her mother and it was just the _idea _of bringing a child into the world. _Her _child.

Of course her excitement washed away just as quickly and Penny was left again with that sinking feeling again. Once Amy calmed down, Penny found the words to justify her feelings.

"I'm _really _scared." She confessed in a broken whisper and she started to weep again.

That was when Amy relaxed from her _own_ high of becoming 'Aunt Amy'; she retook Penny into her arms and began to rock slowly.

A moment later, the door opened once more and Dr. Fitzgerald entered with a small prescription bag. "You're lucky, Penny." Both girls on the bed looked up at the doctor. "I didn't have one of those when I found out." She admitted, gesturing to Amy and the neurobiologist blushed at the compliment.

It was true and Penny felt every bit of those words. She was _so lucky _to have Amy.

Penny remained numb ten minutes later when she and Amy were headed back to Los Robles. Sitting in the passenger seat with her little white bag and silly stack of pamphlets that she would no doubt be reading front to back, she couldn't wrap her head around the immensity of it all. The knowledge that she was carrying a _child_, let alone _Sheldon's _child was terrifying.

Then again… in a way, it _wasn't,_ because it was _him_. It would be worse if it was a baby from some random hookup, but this was _Sheldon, _and she loved him so much. Still, his reaction _was_ the unseen variable that could turn this whole thing upside down.

One way or another, Penny knew she _was _having this baby. She just didn't know if she would be having it _with_ Sheldon or _in spite _of Sheldon.

When they arrived at the apartment, Penny's stomach was in knots and tried to force herself to calm down. She didn't know much about pregnancy; hell she didn't know _anything_ about pregnancy, but she _did _know that stress couldn't be good.

As they ascended the stairs, Amy lingered rather closely to Penny. It wasn't enough that any passerby would notice, but Penny noticed. _Everything_ was different now, and this little action by Penny made her realize that.

She was _going_ to be a mother. One way or another, her life was going to be completely altered.

Her acting career was going to suffer; at least while she went through the nine months of carrying her baby, or the months after giving birth to take care of it. The time it would take to _lose_ the weight, she had to _look_ good to get auditions.

Not that it mattered anyway. She was in good shape now and _still_ tanked her auditions.

Her days of clubbing were _over_, at least for now. Penny had no issue with letting the drinking go, she'd miss it—sure—but it wouldn't be a big deal to her. Really it was _that_ vice that _given_ her this issue, and the alcohol had driven itself out of her life.

_Mom_. That's what she was now. No longer was she just _Penny_, not the girl from Nebraska with dreams of becoming a star. She was someone's mother now.

They finally reached the fourth floor and stopped together between the two doors.

Both girls stood in silence for a moment, their eyes scanning from 4A to 4B. "Your move, Bestie."

Penny nodded, taking a big, unsteady breath. "I should get this over with… he needs to know, and I _need_ to tell him."

"Is this a private thing or do you need me there?" Amy asked uncertainty. "I've never had a knocked up best friend before."

"I—I… you know, I should probably do this alone." Penny replied apologetically.

The smile never left Amy's face. "Very well. Call me when you've gauged his reaction and I'll be prompt and ready to support you, no matter what side of the fence Sheldon falls on."

Managing a small smile, Penny embraced her friend with all the appreciation she felt. "_Thank_ you, Amy." She pulled back and leveled a serious gaze into the brunette's eyes. "I _mean_ it… you were amazing today."

"As the Muppets say, 'that's what best friends are for.'"

Amy was gone a moment later, leaving Penny in the hallway alone, only _not_ alone. She closed her eyes, placing a tentative hand over her stomach

Knocking three times, Penny turned the handle on the apartment door to 4A and entered to the sounds of shooting and loud explosions sounding throughout the living room.

Sheldon was in his spot, only just barely. He was perched near the edge of the cushion, controller in hand as he stared at the television with intense wide eyes.

If he knew she was there, he didn't seem to care.

"Hey," Penny offered, though her voice barely registered over the din of the video game. "_Sheldon_?"

His eyes flashed to her for only an instant. "Penny," was all he said in acknowledgment of her presence.

Shuffling from foot to foot, she fidgeted with her hands. "Listen, can you shut that off? We need to talk."

"Not _now_, Penny I am moments away from achieving victory. I have destroyed all the energy hubs and am now within striking distance of the main boss." His tone wasn't _overly_ condescending, but his words _did_ convey that she should _know _not to bother him while he was playing video games.

This, of course, pissed Penny off to no end. "I _need _to talk to you… _now!_" She ground out through her teeth, watching as he simply ignored her, but damn well that he'd heard her.

Overcome with frustration, Penny moved between him and the television and furiously pressed the power button on his Xbox.

Before turning around, she heard the clatter of his controller banging on the coffee table and falling to the floor.

"Wh—" He stammered, flying to his feet as if his comic book collection had just been set on fire before him. His eyes flickered over the powerless gaming system and then refocused on Penny, blue fire flashing in them. "_Penny_! I was moments away from defeating a game I have been playing for three weeks! How_could_ you?" He was mad, she could tell by the stillness of his body.

Penny didn't care, nor was she worried by his tone or murderous expression. She was _pretty_ sure she had a trump card. "You can play _later_, Sheldon. Right now, you and I _have _to talk."

"Well you had better be dying because I cannot think of any news that can make up for you shutting off my video game before I had the chance to save my progress." He moved around the coffee table to stand in front of her.

It was all very real now, the words right there on the tip of her tongue, devastating and sudden, changing everything once they'd been said. _Two words_ that would turn their worlds upside down.

She closed her eyes. _Fuck it. _"I'm pregnant."

Sheldon passed out.

* * *

When his eyes finally fluttered open three minutes later, Sheldon looked distantly up at her as if he was trying to look_ beyond_ her but they kept returning to meet her green eyes.

Penny gave him her best smile and absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair, it was getting pretty long.

"It was a dream, wasn't it?" He asked with a silly smile on his face. Letting out a breathy laugh, he reached up to touch her cheek, before looking around. "Why am I on the floor?"

She sighed, "Honey, it wasn't a dream."

Sheldon swallowed. "You mean—"

"Yeah," she was still brushing his baby soft hair. "Surprise," she whispered as the worry continued to roll her insides.

"I may pass out again," Sheldon murmured in a rushed voice, his eyes wide.

"No, no," Penny used both hands to cup his cheeks. "Sweetie, I need you to stay awake, okay? We need to talk about this."

Sheldon began to shake his head. "Penny, this was not supposed to happen." He sat up in a rush, causing Penny fell back onto her butt so that both of them were now sitting on the floor. "_Penny, _we were _not _supposed to have a child!"

"I _know _Sheldon, okay? " She closed her eyes. "I know, it wasn't in _my_ plan either, but it _happened_."

"Last Wednesday when we were playing Halo and you excused yourself, I _knew_ I heard you expelling fluids into the toilet in the bathroom and even though you vehemently denied it. That was… morning sickness?"

Penny flushed, looking away. "I _guess_ so; I just didn't tell you because you would have thrown me out if you thought I was sick."

"I would _not _have thrown you out, Penny. I would have put on a protective mask and asked you to wear gloves while you touched one of _my_ controllers."

"_Sheldon_!" She cried. "This is _so_ not the point, okay? We're having a _baby!_" Admitting it out loud, and saying it to him made her feel slightly better.

Until the panic started to reach his eyes. "Oh _dear Lord!_" He rose to his feet and Penny followed slowly, terrified that he was going to run away to the sanctuary of his bedroom.

He didn't.

"Sweetie, I _know_ it's scary,"

"_Scary_?" Sheldon howled with his eyebrows as high as they would go. "Penny the portrayal of Eric Bana as The Hulk was _scary, _this is—" His sentence never found its ending, and instead, he began to pace around the living room.

Biting her lip as she watched him, Penny felt a good deal of her nerves melt away, simply because he was _still _here. Sheldon hadn't run away, even though she'd thought for _sure_ he would, but he hadn't. He was a blithering mess and she worried he might start shouting at the heavens or burst into tears. But he _didn't_run away.

"You really are extraordinary, huh?" Penny said in a playful voice that did nothing to change his pale expression, though she _did_ manage to grab his attention. "Your first time with a girl and you knock her up."

He glared at her. "This is _not_ something to joke about, Penny."

She let out a heavy, tired sigh and moved closer to him. "Yes it is, Sheldon. It _has _to be because it's _happening._ We're having a _baby_, and denying it and freaking out isn't going to change that. It's scary – _terrifying _really – but it _is _happening."

"We are _not_ prepared for this. Penny, there are so _many_ variables that go into caring for a child, _and _that go into caring for the pregnant mother." He raced to the couch, realizing. "I have to call my _mother!_" As he picked up the phone, Penny touched his shoulder.

"And tell her what? That you had _sex _and got a girl _pregnant_ out of wedlock? Your born again Christian mother will have a _heart attack_, Sweetie."

Sheldon glanced back at her, his fingers stopping in mid-dial. "I will have to tell her Penny, you know how she visits without much advance notice. I'm afraid your growing stomach and inevitable birthing of _our _child is not something we can _hide._" Setting the phone down, he looked at her. "We will have to be married."

"_Whoa..."_ Penny took about three steps away from him, the blood leaving her face. "Sheldon come on, we can't get _married._"

"Penny, is it not social convention to be married before you birth a child?"

She threw her hands up in frustration. "_Screw _social convention!"

"Penny—" He started, but she cut him off.

"No Sheldon, we can't get married. You haven't even told me you _love_ me yet. You _don't _love me right now and I'm…" Tears were coming again, she didn't know if what she'd said was true, so she decided to blame the pregnancy hormones. "I'm not ready to be _married,_ I'm not really ready for_ any_ of this but I_can't _change everything!"

Sheldon fell heavily into his spot, dropping the phone onto the table beside him. "My mother will be very upset."

Exhaustion made her fall to sit down next to him. Reaching over, Penny took his hand and entwined her fingers with his.

"We'll get through this, Sheldon. You and me…we can _do_ this."

He nodded, though his face was still pale and blank as Penny laid her head down against his shoulder. "I am _still_ upset that you shut off my video game."

Penny rolled her eyes, tearing up again. "Jesus, Sheldon you are _so _lucky that I love you." With that, she pulled him down for a kiss.

He was hesitant at first, but relaxed into the touch of her lips. It wasn't an intimate kiss, just one of mutual support.

"We're—" The door behind them burst open. Penny and Sheldon broke apart just a second too late, and turned around to see four sets of eyes staring at them in absolute disbelief.

Raj's face was bright red, as if he'd just walked in on his parents having sex. Howard was struggling to pull out his cell phone and take a picture only to have it ripped away by Bernadette a moment later.

Leonard dropped both of his bags, swallowing hard and croaking, "Home…"


	18. The Residual Ramifications

**The Residual Ramifications**

Despite her best efforts, Penny couldn't get Leonard to slow down long enough to explain. He didn't yell or get angry, but paced furiously to his room for only a moment before running out the door with barely enough time to regain his car keys.

Penny could only hope he was headed to Amy's and not off to do something stupid like go to a bar or worse…the comic book store.

Actually she would be okay with the comic book store.

Still, that left Penny and Sheldon with Raj, Howard and Bernadette and, despite the fact that they had all found seats in the living room, all eyes were on the pair sitting beside each other on the couch.

Howard kept trying to speak, but his mouth would only hang open for a second and fall shut the next.

Finally frustrated with the silence, Penny spoke. "So how was your trip?" She asked in a soft voice and ignored the slight glare from Sheldon.

"Oh…you know, it was New Jersey." Howard mumbled out, looking to Bernadette for help.

The normally reserved blonde lost her composure. "What the _hell _happened this summer?" She squealed, and Penny flushed while Sheldon sat stiff as a board.

"I assume you are not referring to the weather?" Sheldon said off-handedly before glancing at Bernadette.

Howard chuckled. "I'm pretty sure the forecast called for a ninety percent chance of _what the hell? _You guys were totally making out when we came in here."

Penny shifted her gaze to Raj on the opposite side of Howard and his fiancé, the poor boy was still bright red and yet as bemused as his friends.

"Sheldon and I are—" Penny started, but the father of her child finished for her.

"We are, apparently, having a child together."

"_Sheldon!" _Penny cried. That was _certainly_ not the tact she was hoping for in telling them all.

Bernadette nearly knocked Howard over as she rushed to Penny's side on the couch. "Oh my _God_!" She shrieked, looking down at Penny's stomach then back into her eyes. "You're _pregnant?_"

"Surprise," Penny said shyly with a flush in her cheeks.

"I—I," Howard started again, this time he was looking at Sheldon. "_You _slept with Penny?"

Sheldon blinked a few times. "I am unsure if you are simply unaware of the way Homo sapiens reproduce, or if you are, perhaps, considering that I proffered Penny a dose of my semen in some sort of plastic container."

Penny threw her head back and sighed. "Oh _Sheldon," _Sitting up, she glared pointedly at Howard. "Yes, okay, in order to save you the suspense, _yes. _Sheldon and I had sex and we _are _together."

"Though the parameters of said relationship are still unknown."

Having her hand gently pushed away from Penny's stomach, Bernadette looked up with eyes big as saucers. "I cannot _believe_ this, we weren't even gone that long!"

At this point, Raj had scurried over to where Howard was sitting and pressed his lips firmly into his friend's ear. "Maybe," Howard shrugged and shook his head.

There were two glares in his direction: a blue set of eyes and a green pair. "What did he say?" Penny asked, the same question in Sheldon's stare.

"We hit some pretty rough turbulence on the flight home and Raj thought we might have flown into some sort of dimensional portal because this is _messed _up!" Howard rose to his feet and pulled out his cell phone.

"Who are you calling?" Bernadette asked as she watched him with worried eyes.

Howard gave Penny and Sheldon both a slight glare_. "Leonard,"_ and he disappeared down the hall. Raj stood up a moment later and followed him.

Sheldon rolled his eyes and refocused on the animated show he was watching.

"I just…I can't believe this," Bernadette repeated in a shocked and quiet voice.

Penny closed her eyes and nodded tiredly. "Yeah, it's still settling in on us too."

"My mind has yet to properly consider the ramifications of all of this. I was hoping to do so this evening, but then your surprise arrival wrecked my plans. _This _is why I loathe surprises." Sheldon never looked at either girl, but Penny couldn't help but notice that Bernadette was staring at where Sheldon was _still _holding Penny's hand. He hadn't let go all night.

"When did this _happen?_" Bernadette asked.

Penny shrugged, but Sheldon was still absently listening and, of course, ready with an answer. "June eighteenth. It was a Saturday night, laundry night, and Penny admitted having feelings towards me. The subsequent morning, we shared a kiss and have been going through the motions of an experimental tentative relationship ever since."

Both of the blonde women stared at him wide eyed, and Sheldon slowly turned his gaze to them. "Penny, I _know_ conclusively that this is what happened. I have an eidetic memory."

"I know but couldn't you just say that it's when we started dating?"

He shook his head. "That is _not_ when we started dating. Our first date was nine days later, on a Tuesday at the Cheesecake Factory."

Penny couldn't help it; she smiled at the memory of that night. It was the _best _date she had ever had.

"How far along are you?"

This, Penny was able to answer. "About three weeks."

"Wow," Bernadette said again, still shaking her head, with eyes still wide as saucers. "I still can't wrap my head around this." She finished, but there was the slightest hint of a smile on her face. If anything, she seemed _happy_for Penny.

That was when Howard and Raj came back into the living room. Raj appeared closer to his original color and Howard wore a tired look on his face. "Okay, so Leonard is coming back up. He never got out of the parking lot because he grabbed the wrong keys."

Worry tensed Penny's body again. She let go of Sheldon's hand and stood up. "Okay… uh, I think maybe I should go."

"Penny," Sheldon started, turning off the TV. "We have not yet finished our discussion of your pregnancy."

Howard laughed sardonically and made for the door. "I still just…this is so insane." Extending his hand to Bernadette, she took it and rose to her feet. "We better get back to Mom, and I don't want to be here when Leonard comes up."

"Raj?" Bernadette started, glancing at their quiet friend who was still lingering in the hallway. "Do you want a ride home?"

He nodded warily and followed the couple out the door, exchanging a few distant goodbyes and leaving Penny and Sheldon alone again.

She looked at him with pleading eyes. "Sheldon I really think I should go."

"Penny," he began simply, "as you told me earlier, this is not something that is going away. You told me to accept it and I have. Now we must allow our friends to accept it as well. That includes Leonard. "

Truthfully, she wanted to fall into his arms and have him tell her it was going to be okay. But she couldn't risk being anywhere near him when Leonard came up, so she kept her distance. "He's going to be _so_ upset."

"I thought he would accept our new paradigm shift rather easily considering you told me that he and Amy Farrah Fowler have begun a text message exchanging relationship."

Penny shrugged slightly. "I meant it might help him in the long run, but I know from experience that it's hard to walk in on an ex with someone else. _Especially_ a friend."

Sheldon nodded slowly, processing the information. He was usually quick to accept Penny's words in situations like this. He knew that she was more aware of how to handle these sorts of things.

Though pregnancy fell way outside of even _her_ range of expertise when it came to social convention.

"Should we refrain from telling him of our progeny?" Penny gave him a blank stare. "Our _child_?"

"Oh," she whispered, shaking her head. "We could have waited if the others didn't know but since they do, we have to tell him. He'll be even more pissed if we keep it from him."

That was when the tall physicist paled a little. "Do you think he'll attempt to initiate a fist fight with me?"

"If you two start fighting, I'm going Junior Rodeo on _both_ of you." She retorted seriously, and Sheldon quickly took a half step away from her.

The door opened and Leonard stood with his head down, his glasses hanging low on his nose and his arms steady at his sides.

"Guess I should have called first huh?" He said in a self-depreciating tone and Penny swallowed the sudden lump in her throat.

She moved toward him, but stopped a few feet away. "Leonard I'm—"

He raised his hand to silence her. "You don't have to apologize, Penny. We're not together."

"Yeah but I understand if you're mad or sad or…_anything._"

He finally looked at her, eyes distant and chaotic. "I'm pretty sure I'm all those things." He muttered before taking a step past her and moving toward the kitchen. "But I'm not allowed to judge, right? We're not together and if you want to be with…_Sheldon, _then I won't stop you."

Penny _knew _it was taking all of the self-control he had for Sheldon not to say anything, and because of that he was _too_ quiet. Which was exactly why Leonard was looking at him while he pulled himself out a beer from the fridge.

"There's more," Penny whispered, watching carefully as Leonard started to laugh miserably.

"What, are you _pregnant_ too?" Grinning slightly, he snorted into his beer bottle.

Sheldon lost his control. "I must _say_ Leonard, if you could display these skills of deduction when you are working, you would be a physicist who garnered far more respect."

Ignoring Sheldon, Leonard looked right at Penny's pale and guilty expression.

Without saying another word, Leonard turned around to the sink, throwing his beer bottle against the wall and letting it shatter.

Penny flinched, and Sheldon gasped, watching as his roommate stormed down the hallway and slammed his door with everything he had.

Shaking her head, Penny took a few steps back and fell into Sheldon's spot. She wasn't _really_ surprised by his reaction, and she had expected worse, but Penny knew Leonard wasn't about to yell at her.

Looking up at Sheldon, she slid over to the middle cushion, gesturing for him to sit.

"I must clean up Leonard's mess first." He insisted, and Penny sighed before watching him trot off to the kitchen and take five entire minutes putting on gloves and protective eyewear, before he scooped the pieces of glass into a dust pan and threw them away.

Fifteen minutes later, he was satisfied with his work and returned to her.

Hesitantly, he took solace in his spot and folded his hands in his lap. "I will be spending the better part of tomorrow morning researching the first steps of your pregnancy."

"Oh," Penny whispered, and watched him staring ahead at the muted television. She could tell he wasn't really watching it. "So… you're _okay_ with this? You're ready to be a dad?"

"No," Sheldon answered flatly. "I am not _ready _to be a father." Penny felt her heart sink and her eyes drop. "However, I am not going to abandon you at this point. You are carrying a child that has the potential for unknowable genius and scientific prowess. You are carrying _our _child."

Penny didn't care; she leaned against him and laid her arm over his middle in an awkward hug. "Thank you." She whispered.

A moment later, she yawned and Sheldon removed her from his body. "You need your rest."

"What?"

"Penny, I am quite sure that it is of optimal importance that you have at_ least_ eight hours of sleep every night, especially now."

She smiled despite herself. Penny knew stuff like this was only going to get worse. Probably more so after tomorrow, when he did his research and freaked himself out about all the things that _could _go wrong.

Tonight though, she would let him win. "Okay, I probably should get some sleep."

Together they stood, and Penny moved in close to him. Sheldon, to his credit, was used to her physical nature now and merely extended his arms out dutifully to let her hug him. Penny nestled against his chest and wrapped her arms around his middle. He lazily laid his hands over her back, but she felt the gentle care of his touch.

"We'll figure this out, okay?" Penny reassured. "We can _do_ this."

Sheldon nodded as she pulled back but kept her hands on his waist. "With the proper preparation, I have little doubt that we can handle this situation. _Despite_ the unexpected nature of it."

Rising to her toes, Penny pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Goodnight, Sweetie."

"Penny," Sheldon called, his fingers absentmindedly grazing through her hair. "I hope you will wake up early enough tomorrow to join me for French Toast, and, even though I will be foregoing paintball, I would like to see you consume a proper breakfast as you will no longer be able to drink coffee."

She pouted. "Oh man, I hadn't thought about _coffee._"

"It _is _on the list of unacceptable food and beverage."

Penny glared at him slightly. "What _list?_"

She would have bet her life on the fact that he was smirking just a bit. "The one I am going to make tomorrow."

"You might wanna bring the French toast to me, honey. I don't think we want to be too – whatever this is – around Leonard right now."

"Very well, I will make us French toast and make my way to your apartment with it in the morning. Though it _will _be fairly early, so—"

"Your throat will be _fine,_" she teased, before kissing him again with a bit more fervor. "I love you, Sweetie. Sleep good."

"Sleep _well, _Penny,"Sheldon corrected, pulling his hand from her hair as she started for the door. "Enjoy your sleep also."

Penny made her exit, resting against the closed door of 4A and she sighed with a smile lingering on her lips. She touched her stomach and let her mind wander.

She was going to be a _mother._

* * *

Penny's eyes opened to the distant light that was shimmering through her window, and lazily rolled toward it. The blankets were dragged along with her as she focused on the rising sun that she could just barely see through the slit of her curtains.

_Oh yeah, _she remembered as the previous day came rushing back to her and she felt her eyes sting a little. She wasn't crying, and she wasn't sad, just misty and emotional and kinda fighting the urge to pee. A lot.

_Everything_ was different now, and for the first time in her life, she could _feel _it. She could _feel _the weight of the change and how much everything was going to shift. Penny could remember when she first moved into this apartment. Running away from Kurt and the life that he had put her into, being around _his_ friends and doing what _he_ wanted to do. She had her friends from work and that was really _it._ Then she was introduced to her neighbors and _everything _changed.

Early on, she'd thought they would just be those 'sweet boys' who were nice to her and helped to rebuild her self-esteem. Then, she started to fall under the spell of their chaos and realized that she not only enjoyed their kindness, she was ready to _return_ it.

She'd developed feelings for Leonard and avoided them like crazy because he wasn't the typical guy she dated. Her heart grew a slot just big enough to fit Sheldon and she'd taken it upon herself to always be there for him, and in his own way, he did the same.

Still, if it was going to be _any_ of them, it was supposed to be Leonard that she found herself attached to. Now though, she was forever connected to Sheldon, to this man that she'd fallen so painfully in love with. He was awkward and childish, and as neurotic as a yapping Chihuahua, but he was, in a lot of ways, her equal.

Penny was just drawn to him, plain and simple, and if you asked her to describe it there was no possible way she could, but she _loved _him. He challenged her, and she did the same for him. They had an odd yet _perfect_connection that balanced out the both of them. There was _very _little in terms of hobbies and passions that they had in common, but when put in a room together, they could find endless peace.

Now they were having a baby, now they would be tied together _forever._

Now she _really _had to pee.

When Penny rose to her feet, she felt as if she'd just finished running a marathon, or climbed a mountain of some kind. Her legs were like jelly and her body was exhausted.

Resignedly, she slumped into the bathroom and closed the door, sitting heavily on the toilet as she sighed in relief. The walk nearly killed her.

A few minutes later, after brushing her teeth and running a comb through her hair, she was languidly putting on a pair of sweats when she heard Sheldon knocking on her door.

Three knocks and her name, it made her smile in some odd sense of relief that he was _still _here. She'd never really imagined him running away and abandoning her, but it was nice to be proven right.

Opening the door for him, Penny smiled and took in the sight of him. With steady blue eyes, Sheldon stood in a Violet Lantern shirt with a gray long-sleeved shirt underneath, and brown chinos.

"Good morning, Penny." He said with a vague half-smile. "I trust you found a proper REM cycle last night?"

She nodded and stepped away from the door to let him in. "I did." He didn't enter. "Are you coming? Where's the French Toast?"

Sheldon looked back to 4A. "In my apartment. I recall you wishing to eat over here, but seeing as Leonard is not around this morning, I thought we might return to 4A."

"What? Leonard is gone?" Penny asked, worried that he might have just packed up all his things and left. She was being rather irrational this morning.

"Yes, he mumbled something about going to see Amy Farrah Fowler, though he was not as hostile as I expected after his blatant loss of control last night."

Penny nibbled on her lower lip and nodded. "I'm glad he went to Amy's. He probably needed to see her." She motioned for him to lead the way. She closed her apartment door behind them, making her way inside 4A.

Walking through his door, she let her eyes fall onto a small, but oddly organized mess of papers and notebooks beside Sheldon's spot. His whiteboard was also rather close to the couch, and had a few charts and diagrams scrawled on it. At the very top, in Sheldon's messy, but unique writing, he had _Penny's Pregnancy_scribed as a title.

"I see you've been working." She said with a smirk, before moving to the counter and sitting down while Sheldon served his French toast. It smelled absolutely delicious, and he couldn't put the plate in front of her fast enough.

"Yes, and I meant to ask earlier: how are you feeling?"

She shrugged before cutting enthusiastically into her food. "A little tired actually. I woke up feeling like I'd just spent the night before running from the police." She started to take a bit, but noticed the vexed look on his face and paused with the piece of toast on the fork, lingering near her lips while syrup dripped onto the plate. "I—I wasn't." She added, "You know, running from the police."

Sheldon nodded, satisfied with this answer. "I see. Well fatigue is an expected symptom of your condition. Your body is building a life support system for the baby. It will, unfortunately, become progressively worse over the next month or so."

"So," Penny swallowed. "I'm going to start feeling _more _tired and crappy?" Sheldon's pursed lips and distant nod affirmed as he set up his own plate. "Oh, that'll make work _fun._" Suddenly, her stomach twisted in knots. "Damn, I'm going to have to start telling people."

His arrogant blue eyes found hers for a moment. "Yes, the slow but massive development of your midsection will certainly be a side effect that you will be unable to hide." He finished, before applying butter to his toast while Penny groaned. "And it would be good to start discussing maternity leave with your employer as soon as possible, as to avoid any unforeseen complications."

"_God,"_ Penny sighed. "I don't…Sheldon I can't be a waitress _and_ pregnant. Not _that_ far into it. I need to find a new job."

Sheldon poured syrup over his toast, keeping his focus on that task, but Penny knew she had his attention. "I _do _agree. However, it would be pertinent for you to keep this job until you have properly secured another." Penny nodded, staring at him distantly. Thankfully, she had Sheldon to reel her back in. "Penny?" He called and she blearily eyed him. "_Eat._ You need to be eating consistently and heartily. As they say in popular culture, you are eating for _two _now, of course, that is just a myth, as you really need only increase your calorie intake by three hundred per day. And that isn't even really necessary until your second trimester."

Yeah, Penny was terrified of all this, the change in her life, in her body and in her future. But she had Sheldon there with her, and in his own strange way, he was everything she needed.

Reaching to her right, she patted the stool beside her, beckoning to him. "Sit with me?"

Without a word, Sheldon moved around the counter with his plate in hand and took the spot next to her. Penny glanced over and smiled lovingly at him.

Sheldon did his best to reciprocate and the pair ate in comfortable silence, side by side.

Once breakfast was over, Sheldon guided Penny to the couch and was now washing the dishes while she flipped through the channels on his television.

"Have you scheduled a prenatal checkup, Penny?" Sheldon asked casually from the sink.

Penny turned the volume on the TV a bit. "Yep, the week after next, on the third of August." Sheldon didn't reply, but she saw him nodding slowly to himself, satisfied. "Uh, are you going to come _with _me?" She asked hopefully, watching as he turned around and looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Did you actually have doubts that I _wouldn't?_"

Her smile widened, "No, I guess not."

While he continued to work on the dishes, Penny decided to rummage through his notes and papers. Normally, she would stay away from his work. It was _his _and not meant for anyone else. But seeing as she was the subject of his madness, she felt it was her right to be nosy.

The first thing she found was his unfinished nutrition chart. It was categorized by month, and the amount of food that would be good for her to eat by percentage each day. There were a lot of fruits and vegetables listed. Meat, fish, eggs and _beans _and a bunch of other things that contained wheat and fiber; Sheldon had put a lot of effort into this.

She'd known he would.

At the end of each meal was suggested either a glass of milk, or herbal tea. Then, she saw the dessert and snack sections; something about calcium rich vanilla ice cream.

Penny _really _loved Sheldon now.

A moment later, Sheldon returned to the couch and sat next to her. The pair started to pore over his notes and discuss various things that would come in the next few days. Penny found that talking about this _with _Sheldon wasn't only _easier_; it was really kind of wonderful.

The door to the apartment opened, and both of their eyes turned toward Leonard walking inside with a small bag of food in his hands and his hair a mess.

"Hey," he offered dubiously, and started to walk past them. "What's all this?" He inquired, clearly trying to be civil, and maybe trying to accept this.

Sheldon answered easily. "We are plotting out the future of Penny's pregnancy."

Leonard nodded slowly, as if the effort of not screaming the absurdity of all this out loud was the most difficult thing he had ever done.

"How's Amy?" Penny asked expectantly.

"Good," Leonard returned with the slightest smile that made Penny's heart swell with optimism. "We're going to see a movie this afternoon."

Penny's smile beamed. "That's so _great,_ Leonard."

He looked away from her. Penny wondered if her smile had upset him as he began pull the items from the bag, and the smell of an Egg McMuffin filled the air.

It hit Penny like a bag of cinderblocks to the gut. She felt her insides twist into knots, as the stench filled her nostrils like a pungent intruder.

Bile started to lurch up, and she stood so quickly, that she nearly knocked over Sheldon's whiteboard. With a hand over her mouth, Penny raced to the bathroom and began to expel the French Toast she'd eaten.

From her position over the porcelain toilet seat, she could hear their voices in the other room.

"I believe your disgusting choice of breakfast has stirred up Penny's morning sickness." Sheldon's dry voice was moving closer, alerting her that he was coming to check on her.

Leonard mumbled to himself, "Oh _God _this _isn't_ a Bazinga…"

She heard the door close and looked back to see Sheldon holding a washcloth under the spray. Penny took a few heavy breaths and flushed the toilet before closing the lid and sitting atop it. Sheldon handed her the cool rag, which she dabbed over her face and neck.

"I guess we found my first food aversion huh?" She managed with a weak grin. "_No_ McDonalds for Penny."

Sheldon scoffed and shook his head. "As if I would allow you to pollute your body with that filth." He started to wash his hands, even though he hadn't actually _touched_ her. "I will comprise a list of inappropriate food establishments that will not be tolerated in this apartment. I will then distribute copies to all of our friends."

"Sweetie, I don't think our…_baby," _she gestured at her middle, "should have to make _everyone_ we know change their lives."

He stared at her blankly. "I disagree. We are attempting to raise and develop a healthy and _hopefully _well advanced child, though I have little doubts that my gene pool will outwit your Nebraskan genetic tendencies that are no doubt striving to mold our child into some sort of cornhusking rodeo champion. Therefore, we must take _all_ necessary precautions." With that, Sheldon crossed to where she sat and knelt before her to meet her eyes. "I will not allow any ill to befall our child…or _you._" Penny leaned forward in order to kiss him, but he pulled away and used his long arm to reach into the drawer under the sink, producing a toothbrush, still wrapped in the store packaging. "You recently _vomited._ Cleanse your mouth, please, before you invade _mine_ with your tongue."

Penny snatched the toothbrush, glaring at him before moving to the sink to brush her damn teeth for Dr. Whack-A-Doodle.

Sheldon stood patiently behind her, clearly eager for his kiss.


	19. The Conversation Conundrum

**The Conversation Conundrum**

Penny nearly fell three times as she made her way up the stairs. It was the longest day of her life. Even though she'd been given the day shift after informing Sarah that she was pregnant, the day had dragged on like a graveyard shift, and she was desperate to sink into the comforts of the guys' couch and Halo Night.

Things were still strange between everyone. Leonard was spending most of his time with either Amy or Raj and Howard, and she wasn't sure if he and Sheldon had spoken yet. Penny only knew that she still needed to have a conversation with Leonard about all of this.

Still, tonight _was_ Halo Night. And although she used to enjoy going out dancing every other Wednesday, that was no longer an option. There really _was_ no other option. She wanted to be near Sheldon, and Penny couldn't help but wonder if it was part of the hormones of pregnancy (that she knew nothing about), but she constantly needed to be around the father of her child.

Once she reached the fourth floor, a smile spread over her face at the sight of Sheldon waiting outside his door for her.

"I believe a strongly worded complaint to the landlord will be necessary as you won't be able to ascend those stairs once you gain weight," Sheldon said, moving to help her up the final two steps.

"I think you're right 'cause that almost _killed _me."

That was all the motivation Sheldon needed. "I will draft a letter to the landlord in the morning informing him of the necessity that the elevator be repaired," He checked his watch, "We have ten minutes before the start of Halo Night. Everyone is still engrossed in their newly purchased comic books; I am saving mine for later this evening."

Penny nodded. "Okay, let me go change and I'll be there. Do you have any food because I am _starving_."

"Yes, however, we ordered subs from Quiznos almost an hour ago."

Penny's mouth literally began to water. "Oh _God _that sounds good, did you get me one?"

"No."

Penny pouted prettily as she opened her apartment door and stepped inside. "Aw, why _not?_" She whined, patting her belly, "You know you're pregnant – whatever – needs her nourishment."

"I am aware of your _needs,_ Penny," Sheldon returned, missing the innuendo that made her blush. "However, I did not feel that anything on the Quiznos menu posed itself as a proper meal for you and for the baby, so I have instead made your dinner myself."

"Oh," she said, mildly disappointed, before making her way to her bedroom, leaving the door open so that Sheldon could keep talking with her. "What did you make me?"

"I have cut up some fruit and found some hearty vegetables to go with a piece of grilled chicken and a baked potato." He answered, his voice rising in pitch as Penny started to take off her yellow vest and white undershirt.

She glanced at him over her shoulder, "You _made_ that?"

Sheldon leveled a glare at her. "Penny, I know that the idea of cooking may seem daunting to _you,_ but if you simply follow the directions of the recipe, it is an easily accomplishable feat."

"Right," she retorted, rolling her eyes and turning towards her closet. "Don't you think that's a little…_eh?_"

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her. "Eh? Penny, chicken and potatoes are staples of a balanced diet. They are foods that have borne healthy children for centuries."

"Yeah, but this isn't the seventeen hundreds, and we're not living in _huts!_ Couldn't I have had a chicken marinara sub with like…some French fries or something?"

He leaned against the wall, subtly scanning her body, obviously thinking he was being sneaky, but Penny could feel his eyes on her. "Penny, as I do not have a fryer, and marinara sauce is high in sugars and salt content, I believe the meal that I have provided is much more suitable for a woman in your condition," He explained as she unclasped her bra and discarded it into the laundry basket. "Not to mention, it took a significant amount of time to properly cook the chicken and surmise how to bake a potato in the microwave as I have deemed it to be more efficient."

"I know, and thank you for the thought, Sweetie. Of course I'll _eat_ it, but just remember that Mommy here loves her some salts and sugars too, _okay?_" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sheldon blush profusely and turn away. "Honey," she offered, still standing topless before him though her arm was covering her chest a bit. "You've seen me naked, remember?"

"I have an eidetic memory, Penny," He responded, though he still wasn't looking at her. "If I wish, I can close my eyes and remember the details of your body perfectly."

Penny quirked her brow, smirking smugly. "Oh is _that_ right?" She moved toward him. "That doesn't mean you can remember what I _feel _like."

His eyes widened as he finally turned his gaze to her. She had dropped her arm down, displayed fully now before him. She watched as Sheldon swallowed the lump in his throat, his Adam's Apple bobbing with it. "I—I suppose not, however we do not have _time _to engage in carnal activities…as we now have three minutes before Halo."

"Halo, huh?" Penny chuckled, rising up on her toes to give him a kiss. The tips of her exposed chest brushed against the soft fabric of his green Joker T-shirt becomingly. "I'll be there in _two_ minutes. Go get my food ready!" She ordered playfully patting his behind, before shooing him out.

It was nearly _five_ minutes later when Penny made her way into the apartment where everyone was enthralled with Halo. Howard was perched on the far end of the couch with Raj sitting on the floor in front of him. Bernadette was in a chair next to her fiancé while Leonard was in the cushioned chair with Amy sitting on the armrest beside him. The unlikely pair was moving slowly, as they hadn't kissed or even held hands yet, but they'd spent a decent amount of time together and, according to Amy, things were going well.

That was when Penny noticed the spot next to Sheldon was vacant, and on the coffee table in front of her sat a plate of food. It was just chicken and a bland potato, but on the table next to it, were a bottle of barbeque sauce, a bag of shredded cheese and a stick of butter.

Her heart swelled at the sight, but then she saw him glaring at her. "Penny, it's 8:03."

"Sheldon," she began evenly, matching his condescending tone, "Shut your _hole._" Giving him a bright smile, she plopped down next to him, before groaning.

"Tough day, Bestie?" Amy asked quizzically.

Penny pulled her plate of food onto her lap, ignoring the irritated expression on Sheldon's face as she started to pour sauce on her meat and dab butter on the potato. "Yeah, I threw up three times and dropped a tray of food on the floor. I'll be happy when I get past all this fatigue crap."

"Remember when Caroline got pregnant last year they cut her number of tables down to only three at a time?" Bernadette chimed in while Howard jumped a bit as he earned a kill in the game. "Did they do that for you?"

Nodding slightly, Penny took a bit of celery. "Yeah," she mumbled, chewing. "But it's still rough, I went to the bathroom like six times just to sit down and catch my breath."

Lifting her fork, Penny dropped a bit of the potato on a couch cushion. _"Oops!"_ She cried with a sheepish chuckle before scooping it up with her finger and eating it. "Sorry," She said sweetly to Sheldon as he glowered at her.

"Penny, could you _please_ be more careful?"

Suddenly, Howard let out a shout of laughter, shutting up when everyone looked to see Raj pulling away from his ear.

Amy sighed, "Has someone fallen down a well?" Everyone shifted to look at her. "Lassie is clearly _trying_ to make some kind of point."

"He was just asking if carrying Sheldon's baby meant that Penny was going to have a normal delivery or if his spawn was just gonna burst right through her chest."

Everyone laugh, and even Leonard chuckled a bit. Penny rolled her eyes, even though she could not suppress a smile.

"Howard," Sheldon started, pausing the game and staring at him in annoyance. "Even if I had impregnated Penny with the seed of one of Ridley Scott's aliens, I still carry little doubt that it would be more intelligent than you."

"Raj, it's your turn," Leonard ground out, clearly wanting to change the topic of conversation. He handed the controller to Sheldon as it was passed down to Raj. Howard then gave his over to Penny who was taking rather large swallows of milk.

Penny waved him off. "Pass on me right now, you keep playing." She finished off her milk and smiled contentedly, completely full and satisfied. "Thank you, Sheldon. That was delicious." Without even thinking, she reached up and pulled him down for a kiss.

The sounds of Halo ceased and everyone was staring at them except for Amy, who was watching the television screen blankly.

"Oh…sorry," Penny apologized, feeling like an insensitive dope. She didn't feel guilty about _kissing _Sheldon. She _did, _however, feel bad about kissing him in front of Leonard, who now looked like he wanted to jump out the window.

Amy, always ready swooped in to save the day. "Leonard, I find myself in desperate need of ice cream," She blurted quickly, though Penny and everyone (except for Sheldon), could tell that she was merely trying to get him away from an uncomfortable situation.

"Hold on," Sheldon interjected, "why don't you have some of the vanilla ice cream that I purchased Penny?"

Quickly, Penny defended her dessert. "_Oh _no, MoonPie. I love Amy, but she can't have any of my ice cream." She wasn't _really_ being selfish. She just needed to give them a reason to leave. "I'll take over for Leonard, so we can keep playing."

Though he was _clearly_ pouting, Sheldon said nothing else as Leonard led Amy out of the apartment and left the tension hanging over all of them.

"You're really going to have to talk to him, Penny." Bernadette finally said as Penny, Sheldon's Halo partner, died in the game while trying to listen.

Sighing, she set the controller down on her lap only to have Sheldon reach down, lift it up and thrust it back into her hand. "Penny, please pay attention."

She scowled, sending Sheldon a glare, but started to play again. "I know I need to talk to Leonard," She said in response to Bernadette, "And I will. I'll talk to him when they come back, because I don't want him to run away from his own apartment."

A few minutes passed with nothing more than the sounds of the game. It was really an intense match, the score was dead even and Penny was absolutely dominating, as usual. She had her perch atop the highest point on the map and was deadly accurate with the sniper rifle, while Sheldon picked them off as they tried to find her.

However, with a little over six minutes left in the round, Penny's bladder started to throb in desperation. "Oh _God…"_

Sheldon actually sent her a look of concern at the agony in her voice. "What?"

"I have to _pee_."

"Penny," he pleaded, "we have five minutes left in the round, you _must _hold it."

Another minute passed, and Penny felt her eyes tear up because she had to pee so badly. "_Sheldon," _she drew out his name in anguish and started to shake her knees. "Sorry, honey." And she handed the controller to a clueless Bernadette, running to the bathroom.

The distant sound of Sheldon crying out her name confirmed her suspicions, as she returned two minutes later to see that the game had ended and her team had lost.

Sheldon stood up in a huff, and shut off the Xbox, before stalking past her and retreating to his bedroom. Penny felt her defenses bristle and angry tears burn her eyes.

"_Damn it,"_ she growled, looking to the others as they watched with hidden smiles and looks that said 'See what you've gotten yourself into?'. "I better go talk to him."

"I still can't believe you're having a baby _with_ a baby." Howard quipped, before moving to the guys' DVD collection and digging through it.

Penny took a threatening step towards the engineer. "Well you had _better_ believe it Howard, because it's _happening,_ and I'm a _little_ tired of your smarmy ass looks and your inappropriate comments!" He visibly paled and looked away, while Raj snickered from his spot on the floor. "Same goes to _you!_" She shrieked at him, making him squeak in fear. "Now, I'm gonna go drag the idiot father of my child out of his bedroom and you had _better_pick a movie that _he _likes, or you know we'll never hear the end of it!"

With that, Penny stalked down the hallway to Sheldon's room and ruefully smiled to herself at the absolute absurdity of this situation. She was going to get her dumbass Baby Daddy out of his room, because he was pouting at losing a freaking video game.

She knocked three times on his door. "Sheldon?" She turned the knob and threw it open, not waiting for a response. Storming inside, she saw him sitting on his bed reading through a comic book; it must have been the one he'd bought earlier that night. "What the _hell_ was _that?_" She demanded to know, sitting next to him on the bed and eyeing the Fantastic Four comic book in his hands. Sheldon had the book open, but Penny could tell he wasn't really reading. He finally sighed and set it aside.

"You _know_ I hate losing, Penny."

She let out a sound of frustration at his sheer insensitivity and self-absorption. "You know what _I_ hate? _I _hate having to pee so bad that I nearly_ piss_ myself running to the bathroom." Sheldon eyed her, clearly discomfited by the aggravation in her voice. "I'm _sorry_ you had to lose your game, but it was either that or I would have stained your precious couch. I'm _pregnant, _Sheldon. I can't just turn that off!" Sheldon seemed to get the drift and sagged a little in shamed defeat.

"My behavior this evening was not up to standards, and I apologize." His voice was sullen and reserved; _clearly_ he was a bit ashamed of himself.

"Well you know _what_, Sheldon? It's not going to get any easier. This pregnancy is going to take up a lot of our time, and you _have_ to be ready for that, and willing to _change_ for that! _I _have to change. _I'm_ the one carrying the damn baby, and _everything_ is _changing_ on me, _okay?_ So, _you_ have to be willing to change too, because _I_ can't do this alone!" Penny was now in tears, her emotions swinging like a pendulum, and Sheldon had no weaponry to defend against it.

"I'm sorry," he replied, mostly out of lack of better options.

Penny sighed, exhausted, and rested her head against his shoulder. "Don't _apologize,_ just…don't freak out if our baby causes you to lose at Halo or miss a new comic book night. I know you have your routines and things you love, but so do _I._ And I can't run away from this and _you _have to stop running too."

He sighed, closing his comic book before laying it carefully in his lap. "I'm afraid the loss in Halo this evening was merely the tip of the proverbial iceberg." The defeated tone of his voice made Penny worry. Absentmindedly, she started to rub circles on his back.

"What?" Penny urged gently, hoping to draw an explanation out of him.

There was something in his eyes, something she hadn't really seen before. Sheldon had his irrational fears. He hated spiders, birds and things that conflicted with his tightly wrought O.C.D. schedule… but none of those things had ever made him look like _this_. "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

His words were heavy, hanging in the air like a cloud of smoke that threatened to choke them. It wasn't as if Penny wasn't scared shitless herself, but she was forcing herself to grin and bear it. Sheldon was so steady, technical and occasionally, so damn _sweet._ But to hear Sheldon Cooper actually voice how terrified _he _was, made her doubts all the more prevalent.

They sat in silence, with Penny's hand lingering on his back, but no longer running the comforting circles against it.

Finally, Sheldon spoke again, "I have built my entire life around the comforting consistency of a schedule," He began slowly, meeting her eyes. "I am contented with order and consistency because I am terrified of losing control and failing. Even tonight, losing a _meaningless_ game of Halo meant so _much_ to me, because at the back of my mind, beneath the overwhelming brilliance," for some reason his arrogance made her feel better, "I was always aware that if I failed…that I would _become_ nothing."

"Sheldon—"

He continued, cutting her off, "I have nothing _else_ to fall back on, Penny! I have the brilliance of my mind and the constant reliability of my carefully planned schedule, and I fear that if I lose control of the things I _can_control…if my _mind_ is not enough to be a father, then I have no other skills to fall back on!"

Touching Sheldon's shoulder, she guided him onto his back to lie down with her with their legs hanging over the foot of his bed. Penny took his hand and clasped it firmly between them. "I'm scared _too_, Sweetie. But none of_my_ reasons are because I think you'll fail at being a father."

"Penny—"

"_No,_ Sheldon, _listen! _Kids love video games, and train sets and action figures and Dr. Seuss books. If this kid has _any _piece of _me _in it…then I don't doubt that he or she will love you as much as I do."

Sheldon inhaled slowly, finally looking at her and smiling slightly, reassuring Penny that he was going to be okay. "The immensity of it all can be overwhelming at times. You really do handle it exceptionally, Penny."

"I'm struggling, Honey." Penny admitted, laughing shyly before rolling to her side and resting her head on his shoulder. Sheldon was only slightly uncomfortable by her closeness, but he never asked her to move or tried to pull away from her. "I have to tell my parents and your mother. I have to talk to _Leonard, _still; I'm going to put on weight and have to give up going to auditions and—" She stopped mid-sentence and smiled nervously, obviously confusing him. Hell, she was confusing _herself._ "I'm scared to _death_. But there's a part of me that is really excited about having a _baby._ It's like there was always something inside of me that was always meant to do this; maybe even always meant to be here with _you_." Leaning up, Penny pressed a feathery kiss to his lips. "We're gonna be okay," she squeezed his hand, "I promise."

"I still wish we could have won that Halo match," Sheldon lamented, though his tone was lighter than it had been a few minutes before. Penny let out a hearty laugh before playfully head butting his shoulder.

"We have to let them win every _once_ in a while or else they'll stop playing. You and I both know they're no match for Sheldor and Queen P."

Sheldon smirked and allowed her to pull him to his feet, "I may have to banish Howard before this is all over."

Penny led him from the bedroom by the hand, "I am _all _for that." They grinned at each other and Sheldon let out a breathy laugh as they re-entered the living room.

That's when they realized that Leonard and Amy had returned. Leonard took in the sight of Penny and Sheldon hand in hand, paling again as he began to stammer, "I uh…I think I'm gonna—"

"Bestie," Amy called, looking at a very guilty Penny, who had dropped Sheldon's hand. "It's time for you to have a talk with Leonard, because his inability to relinquish the—what I can only assume are wonderful— images of your naked body from his mind, are creating a problem on the runway where I'm trying to land this plane." She finished by gesturing up and down her body. Suddenly, everyone in the room was either bright red or covering their faces in awkward horror.

"Oh, Alien." Sheldon beamed at the sight of the DVD menu on the screen, returning to his seat, but not before sending yet _another _glower to Howard. "A commendable choice; though it does not make up for your foul reference to the birth of mine and Penny's offspring bursting through her chest," He then smirked ever-so-slightly. "_That's_ a strike."

"_Damn it!_ Now I have to take the class!" Howard groaned, making Raj chuckle giddily.

"Leonard?" Penny called, lingering in the hallway. "Can we talk?"

He sighed and turned his attention to Amy, whose eyes were surprisingly warm and comforting. Leonard seemed to find some sort of solace in them. Clearly, they had shared a great deal during their text messages, and even now, in the few days that he had been home, they were able to silently communicate.

Finally, Leonard stood, following Penny to his bedroom and entering first. She shut the door, and watched as he crossed to the desk near the window, playing idly with his Bat Signal.

"You, um…you _probably _have some questions." Penny started, uncertainly.

"Sure I _have _questions," Leonard laughed wearily, "but that doesn't mean I want them _answered."_

Penny sighed, "Leonard, I _need _you to be okay with this!"

"_Why?"_ He asked, unyielding and still not turning around to face her.

"Because you're my _friend!_ I don't want to _lose_ that!"

She watched him lower his head as he let out a long and ragged breath, before turning around to meet her gaze. "I overthought it." He admitted, as if it were some big revelation and leaving Penny more confused than before. "You. Me. I wanted to be _us _so badly. You know? I always thought – _hoped_ – we would end up together."

Closing her eyes, Penny nodded. "Maybe I did too, once upon a time. I_ thought_ I was falling in love with you, but I think I was in love with the _comfort_ that you would just always _be _there. It wasn't until I _really _started to fall in love, that I realized what it even meant."

"You're in _love_ with him?" Leonard asked, not with accusation or anger, just surprise and perhaps sympathy. "That must be fun," he teased.

Penny smiled tiredly, swatting at him halfheartedly. "It's _exhausting_."

"Why?" It was really the only word he could find, though he sounded less hurt and more curious now. It was obviously an idea he couldn't fathom: this beautiful and outgoing girl falling in love with an emotionally inept man-child. Sometimes, it was even confusing to _her._

Penny perched on the edge of the bed. "You know, I ask myself that same question every single _day,_ and I _still_ don't have a real answer," She smiled, despite herself, "We _connect_, you know? We kind of always have."

Leonard sat down beside her, fiddling with his thumbs. Apparently, fidgeting was easier than looking at her. "It always bothered me how _mad _you used to get at him."

"_What?"_

This is going to sound pathetic," he chuckled forlornly, "but when we were together, I would _try_ to bring out that kind of passion in you, you know, the way your eyes would light up when you and Sheldon would argue." When he finally looked her in the eyes, she saw his grief over the loss of what he thought they might have had, and she felt it too. "Nothing I _ever _did brought that out of you, and I felt like such an _idiot_ for being jealous of Sheldon, because I never thought you would leave _me_ for him, or even really care for him in that way. Then we leave for _three months,_ and come back, and you're _pregnant_ with _his _baby and…it's all so _different_ now._"_

"Trust me, Leonard," she spoke, drawing his attention, "having this baby was _not _in my plan. At least, not for a long, _long _time." She pursed her lips, carefully placing her hand on his arm. "But I _am,_ and it _is _Sheldon's, and we did have sex, and we _are_ together in some really weird messed up kind of way, and I _really _want you to be _okay_ with it. I don't want to feel guilty _every _time I come over here. And I'm going to be over here a lot now, and I'm _going_ to share things about this baby…with its goofy daddy. So, if you need me to keep some distance for a little while, then I can do that. But, Leonard, eventually I _will_ be over here trying to figure out how to be a parent…with _Sheldon."_ She caught her breath after rambling and watched him carefully.

"Somehow the complete insanity of all this is… oddly comforting." Leonard smiled a little, looking a little bit better, pushing his glasses up and studying her, "You _know_ how crazy he's going to get, right?"

"Oh I _know._ It's already begun," she muttered, causing both of them to share a chuckle. Penny licked her lips, before asking, "Do you want me to leave?" The weight of the question covered them like a heavy blanket.

"_No," _Leonard insisted, shaking his head, "Just…don't be mad if I keep my distance for a while. I mean, I'll be around, because I want to spend more time with Amy. And, of course, spending time with Amy means spending time around you because, let's face it, Penny; she's _not_ going to stay away from you. But it'll be a few weeks before I'm going to want to go baby shopping with you."

Penny laughed, even though the wistful tone of his voice was hurting her, "Leonard, I love you dearly, but you're a terrible shopper. I'm not letting you put my baby in a corduroy onesie." He managed a smile and put an arm around her.

"You seem happy."

"I _am,"_ Penny admitted, surprising herself, "I'm scared _shitless, _but I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be…cheesy as that sounds." With that, she got up off of a bed for the _second _time and evening and took his hands. "Now, come on. Let's go watch a delightful Sheldon approved movie."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "As if there was any other option in _this_ apartment."

"Hey, I got him to watch The Lake House." Penny boasted, snickering.

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Like any of the _rest _of us can watch anything else in this apartment."

As they returned to the living room, Penny patted Leonard on the back and watched him take a seat next to Amy on the big white chair.

Making a detour for the freezer, Penny opened it, and found a pint of vanilla ice cream waiting for her. There was a yellow sticky note attached to it.

_Please refrain from eating this on the couch._

Penny grinned impishly, fishing out a spoon to go with her dessert, and plopping down in her spot right next to Sheldon, who glared at her.

"You _blatantly_ ignored my post-it." He accused. Penny shrugged and took a bite.

"Yep."

Sheldon sighed in defeat, moving to allow Penny to lean against him. The darkness of the living room made this moment oddly private. "Is the ice cream acceptable?" Sheldon asked, curiously.

"Yep," she repeated, digging out another bite and looking up into his eyes with sincere gratitude. "Thank you."

Sheldon nodded slowly, satisfied and dropped his hand over her knee as they turned their attention back to the thrilling tale that was _Alien._


	20. The Vitamin Vexation

**AN/** Special shoutout to my tag team partner **_DefyGravity18_**for her help with this chapter.

* * *

**The Vitamin Vexation**

**~ August ~**

Penny was starving, but, in truth, terrified to eat. At first, her vomiting had been pretty easy to handle and her stomach had always bounced back. Now, anything she attempted to keep down, came right back up. She was tired and cranky and a part of her just wanted to lie in bed and sleep all day.

That's where she was at present, lying beneath the covers, away from the sun as the day ticked away. It was Friday, her day off, and she had a doctor's appointment in a little over an hour that she did _not_ feel like going to. Today was her first prenatal visit. Sheldon had taken off work (his first day off in years, save for one day she came down with a cold. Howard made a crack about the University throwing a potluck), but she didn't want to leave the comfortable cocoon of her bed.

Things had settled a bit amidst the gang. The schedule continued, business as usual, and Penny was eternally grateful for the overwhelming support of Amy and Bernadette, who never judged her. They were constantly helpful, engaged in an amusing battle to see which girl would end up the favorite Aunt of the unborn Cooper offspring.

The guys were slightly more reluctant to jump aboard the whole Penny/Sheldon Baby Train. It didn't seem like they were against Sheldon and Penny actually _having_ a baby, they just kept their distance. There was always a little tension hanging over them as everyone settled in for whatever Sheldon's schedule dictated that particular day.

Leonard appeared to be fine. He obviously wasn't particularly _happy _about the whole ordeal, but he smiled, and even made a few of his usual jokes about Sheldon and his neurosis that made things feel normal again. But, when everyone would gather to watch a movie or play _Halo,_ there was always some uncomfortable staring and the slightest hint of skepticism as Penny cozied up to Sheldon as if they'd been doing that forever.

The reality of it all finally hit everyone the night before. Pizza Night was going smoothly enough, Penny was given her own personal pan pizza because the guys liked mushrooms and that had officially become one of Penny's biggest enemies, almost to the point that she had to eat at the kitchen table so that she wouldn't have to endure the smell.

Everything was going fine, that is until Howard (who had made so many derogatory comments to Penny that she could write a thousand page book detailing how _not _to pick up a woman), said something that he knew he shouldn't have.

They were watching reruns of _Lost,_ and one of the characters, who was visibly pregnant, made Howard wonder aloud if Penny would have a cute little bump like _that_, or if her entire body would blow up like a puffer fish.

He tried to apologize at her distress, but when Penny ran back to her apartment in tears and Sheldon banished Howard for a week, they all realized that _everything_ was changing.

Penny had woken to a text from Howard, offering another apology. Penny grudgingly forgave him, acknowledging that it had been the raging hormones and fatigue that had set her off. Howard was just programmed that way…she'd accepted it years ago. Following that, she texted Sheldon that Howard was forgiven.

Penny's cell phone vibrated with her incoming text.

It was, of course, Sheldon.

_He is still banned for a week._

Penny smiled giddily to herself. In his own controlling way, Sheldon was defending her honor.

Aching with exhaustion, she texted him back.

_Will you go to the doctor without me this morning?_

She sent it with a smirk, knowing he'd have a _fit._ What she _didn't _expect, was the knock on her bedroom door a moment later. Penny had given Sheldon his own key to her apartment, granting him permission to come and go, even though he still knocked most of the time. Obviously, today he was taking the initiative.

"Come in!" she called, making no attempt to get out of bed and tucking herself deeper into the blankets.

Sheldon opened the door, fully dressed and ready to go, already wearing his jacket. "Penny," he glared impatiently at her, pointing to his watch, "It's_ nearly_ time for your appointment, and you _clearly_ have yet to shower!"

"I feel like _crap_, Sheldon."

Moving a few steps into the bedroom, he folded his arms and settled a steady glower at her, "We are both aware that your fatigue and lethargy is an unfortunate side effect of your condition," He sighed, "but Penny, I _must_insist that you prepare for our trip to the doctor. I have only ever dared to take two days off of work, the previous one in order to care for you when you were ill. So, if you don't go to your scheduled appointment this morning, my sacrifice will have been in vain." Sheldon came closer to the foot of the bed, urging the covers down and catching her off guard. He pulled the covers completely off of the bed, gasping in shock at the sight of Penny wearing nothing save for a lace bra and a pair of matching panties.

"_Sheldon!"_ Penny scolded, sitting up to glare at him.

"Dear _Lord_." Sheldon turned away, blushing as he began to feverishly fold her comforter to distract himself. "Penny, _must_ you constantly be in a state of undress?"

Penny snickered, feeling slightly better due to the fact that she could _still_ make him blush. Her body hadn't really started changing yet. She still had a smooth, flat stomach and was quite proud of her butt, so she decided to take advantage of them. "Sweetie, it's _August_ in California. If I sleep in anything else, I get all hot and," she lowered her voice seductively, "_sweaty_." She finished, rising to her knees and crawling languidly to the foot of the bed, where he had finished folding her blanket, holding it in his arms while staring at her in stunned silence. "Hey," she murmured comfortingly, searching his eyes. _"Relax,_ honey."

Reaching up, she tenderly cupped his chin with her fingers, pulling him down for a kiss. Penny didn't hesitate, parting his lips with her gentle tongue, hearing the soft rustle of the blanket dropped to the floor in a forgotten heap as Sheldon's hands found her hips.

"Penny," he breathed against her lips, obviously struggling to find the will to pull away. "The _doctor._"

She grinned, catching his bottom lip gently between her teeth before pulling back to gaze up at him. "Is that what you want me to call _you?_" Penny pressed another whispery kiss to his lips. "I know we're having a baby, honey…but we can still do _this_."

Sheldon let out a cross between a moan and a groan as Penny tilted her head up, moving her lips silkily over the smooth skin of his throat. _"Penny," _he whispered, pleading, "You are making me _very _uncomfortable."

Stung by his slight rejection, she pulled away and realized that his hands had fallen from her hips to cover his visibly apparent _discomfort._

"_Oh,"_ Penny breathed, adoring the shy look on his face. "I've got some discomfort _too,_ Sweetie. You just can't see _mine." _Taking his hand, she kissed his warm palm. "You could _feel _my discomfort though…would you like that?"

His hand was trembling between hers. Even though he had been intimate with her before, they'd both been drunk, so his nerves were naturally on edge in anticipation of the step they were about to take together, sober.

"Penny, you really need to get in the shower. We're…we're going to be late," He uttered, his voice shaky and less insistent than it had been before.

Penny climbed off the bed, using his shoulders for stability as she looked deeply into his eyes. "Why don't you join me?" Penny offered, climbing off the bed and holding his shoulders to steady herself. She met his eyes. "We'll stay _clean, _it will be sanitary, your clothes won't get messy and we can, uh, release our…_tensions_."

"I—I'm not ready for intercourse again, Penny." He admitted, looking a little embarrassed.

"I'm not talking about sex, Sheldon," she kissed him, softly, "at least…_not_ the baby making kind. There are other ways we can help each other with our…discomfort."

Turning his head, Sheldon eyed her bathroom door, pondering, and Penny felt her heart racing. Despite the fact that she wanted this _badly,_ she hadn't actually expected him to consider it.

"Penny, I am not as comfortable as you are, being naked."

"It's okay, I am _very_ comfortable with you naked, Sheldon," she quipped, winking at him, "Look, Sweetie, I know it's foggy for you, but I have seen _all _of you before," her eyes dropped, " I was _not_ disappointed." Penny felt strange trying to coax a guy to be naked with her, keeping her voice a gentle purr. Everything about being with Sheldon meant ignoring her primal instincts. "Trust me?" She purred gently.

Sheldon nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I _do…_but we have limited time."

"We won't need much time," she promised, grinning as she pulled him willingly toward her bathroom.

Letting go of his hand, she closed the door behind them and saw that Sheldon was bright red and shaking with nerves. "Hey, it's _okay,_" she smiled reassuringly at him, flattening her palm against his chest. His heart was racing beneath her hand.

"Perhaps we should just—"

"_Sweetie,"_ Penny cooed, reaching up to cup his face in her hand. "It's just me…_trust_ me. If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do is let me know, and we'll stop, okay?"

"Very well," he let out a shaky sigh, nodding.

"Good."

Sheldon leaned down, helping Penny pull his shirts off completely, before standing bare chested before her eyes and modestly folding his arms over himself. Penny paused when her hands reached the button of his pants.

"Still good?" When he nodded, she smiled before unclasping the button, pulling down the zipper and letting them fall to the floor. She glanced down at his underwear. Iron Man briefs covered him now, the only thing left on his body. Penny's placed her hands on his hips, unable to contain her grin. "Those are so adorable."

"Adorable was _not_ my intention when I chose to wear them," Sheldon muttered. As Penny moved closer to him, the pit of her stomach filled with nerves, surprising her.

"Well,_ I_ think they're adorable…but they're in the _way._"

Sheldon forced himself to look her in the eyes, "You first." He said, glancing down at her bra covered breasts.

She swiftly reached behind her back and let the material fall away from her chest, fluttering to the ground like a wounded butterfly. "There," she stepped back and let him see her, watching his mouth fall agape. "What do you think?" It felt _odd_ to be so curious as to what a man thought of her naked body. She'd never given it a second thought with anyone else. Penny had _never _beenself-conscious about these sorts of things until she started falling for Sheldon, and having fantasies of _being _with Sheldon.

He swallowed hard, and hesitantly raised his hands as if to touch them, but decided against it and let them fall back to his sides. "Your breasts are aesthetically pleasing."

"_What?"_ She almost laughed, grinning like a fool, because she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was enjoying the view.

"They are…nice."

"And _soft,"_ Penny assured him, guiding his hands to cover her. "See?"

Carefully, he squeezed his hands together, bringing her breasts against each other and watching in fascination as Penny let out a soft breath.

"_Okay,"_ she gasped, removing his grip slowly and turning to the shower, starting the spray and adjusting the temperature. "One barrier left." She reminded him teasingly, turning back toward him and reaching for his hips. "Ready?"

Sheldon inhaled slowly a few times to steady himself, before nodding and placing his arms behind his back to allow her access, "Yes."

Penny hooked her fingertips into the elastic of his Iron Man underwear, sliding them down his legs and watching him step out of the pool of his discarded clothing. It was painfully clear that he was definitely aware of being in the presence a naked woman and his _deal_ was in plain sight. Forcing her eyes away from his arousal, she looked into his blue eyes.

"_Your _turn," she whispered, bringing her arms above her head and clasping them at the crown of her hair. She was _trying_ to be sexy…she wanted this to be _special_ for him. Hell, it was special for _her _already.

Sheldon pondered her panties for a moment, before making a decision and curving his long fingers into the lacy fabric, sliding them down and making her quiver at the soothing friction of his touch. A moment later, they stood naked before each other.

"Penny?" He began, looking into her eyes, "You're wasting water." Penny felt a laugh bubbling in the back of her throat as she took his hand and stepping into the fall of running water.

"Happy?" She asked, biting her lower lip.

"I'm not _un_happy…" He answered, his eyes flickering with amusement. For a few moments they simply stood behind the curtain, separated from the rest of the world. Sheldon's eyes subtly wandered over her body while Penny studied his face.

"Do you want to help me first? Because I think we'll be done if you go first," she laughed, feeling her own face redden along with Sheldon's.

With trembling hands and eyes more unsure than she had ever seen, he sighed in resignation, "I am unaware of the protocol for this situation. You'll have to teach me."

"I can do that," Penny grinned, "but you're going to have to touch me, okay? In intimate places. Are you okay with that?"

"I cannot predict how I will react to touching you, but I know that I am feeling an insatiable – _need_ –to experience this with _you._" His eyes were sincere, despite the unsure tone of his voice, making Penny reach for his hand and bring him closer to her.

"Okay, just follow my lead."

The next five minutes were all about Penny showing Sheldon the ways she liked to be touched. She held his hands in place, patiently tutoring him as he learned how to move his hand and how much pressure to exert while she attempted to focus under the ministrations of his agile fingertips. Penny was unable to keep her concentration in guiding him as he found a rhythm, honing the skill rather quickly (as he did with everything). She found herself clinging to his shoulders as her head fell back limply while he continued to manipulate her swollen flesh.

Penny could feel his eyes on her as she neared her release and she locked eyes with him while ragged breaths spurted from her lips and her fingers tightened on his shoulders. She could feel her eyes roll a little and cried out as euphoria caused her body to tremble with the violent climax she was experiencing. Caught in the moment, Sheldon's other hand moved around her, cradling the nape of her neck to steady her while she shook with orgasm. Removing his hand from within her body, he gathered her into his arms and smoothed his hands over her back to console her.

"_Wow,"_ she mumbled against the warmth of his skin, trying to remember how to blink. "That was…" she pressed a few ardent kisses to his chest. "You're a _fast_ learner."

Pulling back, she saw the slightly arrogant pride in his face as he replied, "Yes I am."

Regaining some semblance of equilibrium, Penny managed to remember her manners, "Okay, _your _turn now."

And suddenly, her self-assured lover was a gangly jumble of nerves again, as his eyes widened and his hands dropped from her back. Penny swiftly reached up behind her, grabbing her body wash and pouring a bit into her palm.

"Penny?" Sheldon questioned, confused by her actions. He looked lost, making her take pity on him.

"Turn around, honey. It's okay," She comforted, guiding him as he cautiously followed her directions, facing away from the streaming water that he'd stood under while he'd pleasured Penny.

Snaking an arm around his waist from behind, he jumped a little at the feel of her hand splaying over his abdomen, holding him in place. Bringing the hand with the body wash around him, she had no trouble finding his most sensitive spot, wrapping her fingers firmly around his arousal, feeling it jerk at her touch. Slowly, she began to move her hand, feeling Sheldon tremble beneath her fingers as if he might burst at any moment.

Penny found his hand with her unoccupied one, lacing her fingers tightly with his.

"Hold on, okay? Hold onto me, honey."

He gripped her hand tightly, pinching her skin a little, though not nearly enough to hurt her. She continued to stroke him, ghosting feather light kisses across his back and shoulders. Penny knew well enough how to _please _a man, but it was important to her that she make Sheldon feel _special. _She wanted to make sure he could feel her love for him in every way she could, with every kiss and shift of her hand. He cried out an incoherent sound when he came a moment later, quivering. Penny tightened both of her arms around his middle and held him tightly, resting her cheek between his shoulder blades, waiting for his shaking to subside.

Sheldon turned around a few moments later, pressing a few chaste kisses to her lips, before silently exiting and letting her finish showering.

Even though he hadn't actually _said_ the words to her yet, and Penny wondered if he ever would, there had been love in his eyes when he'd looked at her.

* * *

Penny _hated _hospitals. It was a fact that had to be reiterated as she lay in an awful paper gown with her feet in stirrups. Even visiting the OB-GYN was terrifying, because now it wasn't only about her health; it was also about the health of her baby.

Penny found herself developing an odd attachment to the little person growing within her. Even though she couldn't _feel _it or see it, she thought about it constantly, found herself moving more carefully than before and being mindful of the food she ate.

This trip to the doctor was made even _more _uncomfortable because of the fact that Sheldon had done an excessive amount research on what to expect with this visit, and was under the impression that he was better suited to call the shots as opposed to an actual medical _professional_.

"When was the last time they updated the equipment in this office? The _Prehistoric _Era?" He grumbled, inspecting the sterilized instruments lying on a tray in the corner.

"Sheldon, I swear to God, if you embarrass me today—"

"How can you lie there calmly, while the very future of science lies within your womb?" Sheldon challenged, giving her a pointed look.

"The _future_ of _science?_" Penny replied, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from cracking up.

"Within my D.N.A., lies the potential for one of the greatest minds that has ever existed. I should think it would be in _both _our interests to nurture that possibility to its fruition," he explained, making Penny snort.

"Say _what?_"

"Then again, perhaps it makes no difference after all," Sheldon retorted, sitting in a chair and crossing his legs.

"Would you _calm_ down?" Penny hissed as the door began to open.

Sheldon's tetchy attitude did not ease in the slightest when the doctor entered. _Nothing_ was sterile enough for him. _None_ of the equipment seemed comparable to what he'd seen online and, as he whispered to Penny when the doctor stepped away to look over Penny's chart, the doctor was far too chipper to handle this sort of responsibility seriously.

The final straw came, when he endeavored to take control of the pelvic examination.

"We're just going to do a quick Pap Test to make sure there is no cervical cancer or sexually transmitted diseases," Dr. Day informed her, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves and pulling out a tube of medical lubricant. She was a sweet, middle aged woman with a thick build and bright red hair, possessing all the positivity of Richard Simmons on a sugar high.

"You're intent is to prod the mother of my progeny with that medieval contraption?" Sheldon interrogated, eyeing the metal instrument that the doctor is preparing.

"Yes," the doctor answered sunnily. Fed up, Penny glared at Sheldon, snapping her fingers and pointing to her side.

"Sheldon, _get_ over here, _stand_ next to me, _hold_ my hand and _shut your hole,_ or so help me, I will go straight into your bedroom and put a mustache on one of your precious Batman comics. In a bright red _Sharpie._" This got his attention. He clamped his mouth shut, though he looked like he wanted to argue and reluctantly crossed to her side, taking her proffered hand and pouting sullenly as Dr. Day continued her examination.

Penny had never enjoyed Pap Smears. They were uncomfortable, awkward and a little painful sometimes. Plus, the thought of lying spread eagle with a bunch of _stuff _up her…_stuff_ was more than a little mortifying. Luckily, her doctor was pretty damn good at what she did and finished with little discomfort.

"Perfect!" Dr. Day grinned, standing. "Now, I'm going to do a bimanual internal exam, Penny. Just like a normal exam." This part was decidedly less intrusive than the dreaded Pap Smear, and it was also a little faster. "Everything looks good, Penny," removing her gloves and discarding them into the waste bin, the doctor picked up her chart and grabbed a pen from her pocket. "Okay, so: it's still too early to really be able to hear the heartbeat. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. Every pregnancy is different, so I'm going to suggest we wait until your next appointment, when you'll have your first ultrasound."

"Okay," Penny nodded.

"What about the—" Sheldon began, but Penny sharply squeezed his hand, making him yelp.

"Batman with a mustache, Sheldon. A handlebar _mustache," _she warned, turning her attention back to the doctor.

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"June—" Sheldon cut in, causing Penny to rap him in the gut to shut him up.

"Um, around June nineteenth, I think," Penny told her, trying to remember. It seemed so long ago.

"June twentieth, actually," Sheldon interjected, looking away at Penny's death glare.

"Any history of uterine or cervical cancer in your family?" Dr. Day inquired, checking off the proper box when Penny gave her answers. They went through a list of family history and her _own_ medical history. She found the combination of Dr. Day's overly exuberant nature coupled with the constant repetition of questions and answers a bit irritating. Swallowing her sarcasm, she forced herself to answer pleasantly.

"Okay, I think that's everything. I just want to get some blood work and we'll be all set!" Dr. Day chirped, making Penny cringe. More needles…

Why couldn't they just use the blood she'd already given at her _other_ doctor's?

A nurse came in after a few minutes, bringing with her the offending object and several tubes to fill with her blood. Just the _thought_ made Penny want to heave as she gripped Sheldon's hand, turning white as a ghost while the lady prepped her skin with an alcohol swab. Sheldon seemed perplexed by her fear, which she knew was childish. Oh, who was _he_ to judge anyway? The guy played with model trains and collected superhero dolls!

"Penny, you shouldn't worry. As you keep reminding me, these people are professionals, I highly doubt you're in any real danger." He said, though his mildly sardonic tone lacked the comfort she needed from him. However, as the medical assistant, moved toward Penny with the needle, Sheldon stopped her. "Excuse me; I did not see you open that out of the package. How can I be sure that that you are using an clean needle?"

Hey, if this was going to delay the inevitable needle invasion of her poor arm, then Penny wasn't about to argue.

"Mr.—"

"_Doctor,"_ Sheldon corrected, haughtily.

The woman looked slightly affronted. "_Dr. _Cooper I can _assure _you that this is a fresh needle. We throw out every one after we use it."

"I would feel decidedly more comfortable, were I to witness you actually _opening_ the package, before I can allow you to contaminate her." He was insistent.

"Seriously, just get the needle. It will make _all_ our lives easier," Penny sighed, eyeing Sheldon balefully.

The nurse gave him a critical look before throwing the needle into the biohazard waste bin and pulling an unopened needle from the cupboard, making a show of opening it in front of Sheldon. Finally satisfied, he nodded his approval and stepped aside, allowing the woman access to stab Penny.

Yes, _stab_…that was the way she viewed it. Screw rationality.

Penny squeezed her eyes tightly shut, blindly reaching for Sheldon's hand and holding it in a vice grip while her arm was assaulted. It was over a moment later, but the fear remained, trembling through her in waves. Penny figured, for someone who could hogtie a pig and castrate a steer that she had earned the right to a few childish absurdities.

"Okay," the woman started, holding two vials of Penny's blood and giving Sheldon another wary look while plastering on a faux smile. "We'll just get you cleaned up and then, you can get dressed."

Penny didn't have to be told twice.

Minutes later she was dressed and Dr. Day returned, saying that they would have all her blood work results in in two days and she would be receiving a call to go over them. Penny also scheduled another visit in late September for her first ultrasound.

She was also told to begin taking prenatal vitamins; something Penny was dreading because those things were like freaking _horse _pills!

The rest of the day was absolutely uneventful. Penny hung out in the apartment with Sheldon, while he worked at his computer and replayed the video game that Penny had shut off on him weeks before. She cooked him lunch this time, his precious spaghetti and cut up hot dogs (that she put in hers as well). It was all quite domestic.

As day turned to night, Penny found herself alone in the boys' apartment with Amy. Sheldon, Raj and Leonard had gone to pick up their dinner: Chinese food (it was Friday night) and then stop by a rental store to see if they could find a copy of the original _Castlevania_ for Vintage Video Game Night.

"Okay, Bestie. Sheldon informed me that I had a job to do while he was gone."

Penny eyed her friend dubiously, watching as Amy plucked out the white bag that they had brought home when she found out she was pregnant. "Oh _no…_Amy _come_ on."

"I'm sorry Penny but prenatal vitamins are_ extremely_ important to the development of a fetus. Unless you are hoping that your baby grows up to be an underdeveloped homunculus, like Howard." Amy insisted, before pulling out a bottle of pills and twisting them open. Penny was still stalling on the couch. "Come on." She coaxed, patting the table as if she were calling to a dog.

Groaning, Penny stood up and shuffled her feet slowly into the kitchen, demurring as Amy dropped two massive pills into her hand.

"Look at those things!" Penny cried. "They're like horse tranquilizers and I've seen those… seriously there isn't much difference. It's like a TUMS you can't _chew!_" Despite her protests, she took the pills _only _because they were essential for her baby's development. "Okay…" she took a deep breath. "Alright, pour me some water." Amy grabbed a glass and went to the sink.

"No!" Amy cried, realizing she'd been tricked, and nearly hitting the tap with the glass as Penny opened the fridge and removed a huge, green plastic bottle.

"Hey, if MoonPie is gonna play dirty, then I get to enjoy his beloved Mountain Dew."

Amy grinned and handed over the glass willingly. "You _are _devious, like a sexy Darkwing Duck."

Penny chuckled, taking a little sip of Mountain Dew and letting the condensation bubble for a second before taking the first pill with a painful gulp, swallowing as fast as she could. The pill felt like a twig going down her throat, making her gag as it began the slow, awful journey down her esophagus.

"_Damn_. Okay quick, give me the next one before I change my mind," Penny said in a rush, taking another sip of Dew, repeating the process and coughing as it went down. "Oh _God, _how often do I have to take these things?"

"Once a day," Amy answered casually. "With this routine you'll be fine. However Sheldon's Mountain Dew supply will suffer greatly."

"Yeah well," Penny shrugged, "When I see him swallowing full sized Jolly Ranchers then he can bitch about his little addiction."

Both girls returned to the couch to finish the reality show they were watching as the door opened and Raj, Leonard and Sheldon stepped in. Penny knew the second she saw Sheldon's face that his game had been there; his eyes were alight like a seven year old on Christmas morning and he was clutching the little white video store bag tightly to his chest.

It was little things like that that had made her love him so much. He could be so sweet, and for some reason, his childlike nature charmed her at times. Penny knew that she was probably the only girl in the world who adored his silliness, but she did (it certainly wasn't smiles and happiness all the time, there were days when his childish tendencies made her want to strangle him).

Amy rose to her feet as Leonard moved behind the couch to unpack the food in the kitchen, grabbing hold of his hand and walking with him. Penny was happy to see them getting closer. They were so subtle with their relationship that you _really_ had to look to see any change. They each had their own lives; they spent a lot of time together in Amy's apartment. It was a good way for Leonard not to have to watch Penny be in love with his best friend.

Penny stood to retrieve her Chinese food, but when she did, her stomach turned dangerously at the odor of the first item that was pulled out of the bag.

"Oh _no,"_ she covered her mouth, stumbling over the step to the hallway, before racing into the bathroom. Penny barely made it the toilet, trying to keep her balance as she vomited nothing but bile and the remains of two disgusting pills that finally found their escape.

Thankfully, it was only that much, and she wretched a few times, but eventually just sagged onto her knees and flushed, resting her head against the cool porcelain of the back of the toilet.

When Penny finally heard footsteps at the door, she knew it was Sheldon simply by the heaviness of his steps. Pulling herself to a seated position, she twisted to look up at him still grasping his video game bag, though his expression was notably less happy, and he was pouting a little.

"The Chinese food has made you ill?" He half stated, half asked, moving inside.

Penny swallowed the nasty taste in her mouth at the mention of it, nodding. "Yeah, I smelled the sweet and sour sauce in Amy's chicken and…Oh _God, _I can't go back out there."

"Would you be willing to stay in here while we eat our dinner?" Sheldon asked cautiously, looking like he already knew the answer, but asked anyway. Her glare told him everything he needed to know. "Are you suggesting that we throw out our Chinese food?"

"Sweetie," she sighed, "I'm sorry to be a pain, but I don't think I can be around it or I'll just start doing this again and that one hurt because I haven't eaten and I vomited up those damn prenatal pills. If you want, I can just go home and—"

"Absolutely _not,_" he scoffed, looking back down the hall, his mind undoubtedly on his precious Chinese food, before he turned back to her, nodding resolutely. "We will remove the food from the apartment, and perhaps…order a pizza."

"But," Penny stammered, completely surprised by his yielding. Sheldon Cooper wasn't one to compromise. "Sheldon _tonight _is _Chinese _night." She whispered, dragging herself off the floor to her feet.

He looked as if he'd just lost his favorite trains set. "Yes well… the bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists." She stared at him as blankly as if he'd just spoken in a different language. "It's a Japanese proverb," he explained, "useless really, but I had hoped it would make this moment easier."

"Sheldon, honey I'm sorry… I shouldn't be changing so much on you. I can go to my apartment and let you guys eat and play your game." She said, gesturing to the bag in his hand.

"That would be a much simpler plan of attack, I must say," He agreed in a steady tone. Smiling weakly, if not a little disappointed, Penny nodded.

"Okay, I'll go."

Sheldon shook his head, continuing, "A good idea, yes, but I never said I wanted you to leave." Licking his lips, he met her eyes and went on, "As much as my schedule has suffered, I am not oblivious to the changes in _your_life and the more immense ones that are yet to come. If you can give up coffee and alcohol so easily, then I can most certainly remove Chinese food from my schedule for the next," he gulped, "_nine_ months." He laid a hand across his stomach. "_Despite_ what distress my bowels may suffer."

"You would _do_ that for me?" Penny asked in a hushed voice, crossing toward him when he nodded. "Thank you, I _am_ sorry about your dinner." Gingerly, she took the bag from his hand, "You should definitely show me this game though, I _love—_" she eyed the case quickly. "_Castlevania_. My brother used to play it all the time." She lied, silently apologizing to her late brother for using his name to make Sheldon feel better.

It worked, and his eyes lit up as he took the bag back into his hands, "I am sure that none of your experiences with this particular genre will compare to the excitement of watching _me_ play, however. The skill I have at this game is superior to anyone I have ever met."

"I can't wait!" She assured him, starting for the door, only to be stopped by the slightest sickly sweet whiff of sweet and sour sauce. "Sheldon, _food."_ She pleaded; practically shoving him out the door and watching him stalk quickly down the hall.

"Leonard, please discard your dinner and dial the Giacomo's Pizza," he instructed authoritatively, "Order the usual." Leonard laughed, probably expecting a Bazinga. Penny stared at herself in the mirror as she listened to the exchange from the bathroom. "I do not recall saying anything particularly funny. Please hurry up and throw away this food so we can eat and begin playing."

"_But—"_

"You cannot expect Penny to spend her evening in the bathroom," Amy cut in immediately, always ready," If that were the case then I would be in _there _with _her,_ and not out here boastfully cheering you on as you play a tedious and juvenile video game."

Penny put some toothpaste on the brush that Sheldon had given her after the McDonalds made her sick, and smiled gratefully at the sound of their Chinese being tossed out.

Sheldon was _definitely _getting a special thank you for this.

That was, until he returned a moment later. "Here, I've brought you two new prenatal vitamins." He stated with an extended hand and a glass of _water._

Glaring at him through the reflection, she deliberately stepped over the line of tape meant for proper distance from the mirror in stubborn defiance, meeting his flashing eyes. Sheldon pursed his lips disapprovingly and shook his head, sighing.

"_Now_ you're just being difficult."


	21. The Maternal Mediation

**The Maternal Mediation**

Nobody noticed.

Thick, dark blood poured out of her stomach and everyone just ignored it

They all were watching her, staring sadly, though no one made any move to help.

On shaking legs, she tried to open her mouth to call out to them, but received nothing but silence and vague smiles.

She was _dying, _and her friends didn't _care._

She turned desperately to Amy. She knew _Amy_ would help her. Penny reached out to her, straining as tears streaked down her face, trying to plead with her eyes since she could make no sound.

Amy nodded, "It'll be okay, Bestie."

"You really have to let go now," Leonard said, suddenly beside her. Penny reached out for him, but he was just out of reach. "You _knew_ you would never be strong enough."

"Wh—" Penny whispered, and suddenly everyone's attention turned to the tiny coffin being lowered into the ground.

Penny had never seen anything so small; it was no bigger than a shoe box.

Across from her, stood a tearful Sheldon, reaching toward the box and breaking her heart.

"_Sheldon,"_ Was the first word she managed, finally able to move her legs. Pushing past her friends, she punched Howard and shoved Raj out of her way when they tried to stop her, eager to reach the man she loved. Her heart hurt under Sheldon's sudden dark glower.

"You were never enough! You could never protect _my _child!" He screamed in a voice _so_ unlike his own that Penny felt her body tense at the sound. Suddenly, his hands were on her throat; bigger and stronger than she'd ever expected them.

They were familiar; however, they weren't _Sheldon's_ hands.

Everything changed around her, and it was now _Kurt_ gripping her throat in his powerful hands, a menacing smile etched on his face. A face she had once found so appealing. "Of _course _you killed your baby," he sneered, "Fuck ups can't be _mothers._"

Penny sat up in a rush, gasping out loud as she felt the blankets fall down around her waist. Struggling to breathe as she inhaled, choking for air, she scanned her bedroom as the sun barely peeked in through the curtains. Her body was shaking, and her heart was racing as she started to worry that her throat might close up.

Pushing off the blankets, Penny glanced down at her stomach, sighing in agonized relief. She was just barely showing. S_he_ could tell, though no one else had mentioned it yet.

She splayed her hand protectively across her expanding middle, and felt the exhaustion of sleep beckon to her again, but fought against it for fear of the nightmare she'd just awoken from.

The fear was winning.

Images of Sheldon crying flashed through her mind; she couldn't shake the sight. Most of the time, her dreams were forgotten seconds after waking up. This one lingered on the fringes of her consciousness.

Dragging herself out of bed, Penny ignored her robe and slippers, before grabbing the spare key to 4A and fleeing her apartment in search of comfort. She unlocked the door and walked inside, catching sight of Leonard, who was leaning against the island and sipping coffee.

"Morning, Penny," He offered casually, with a smile that she struggled to return. Penny managed a wave, even though her eyes were half open and she was still a wreck, muttering something inaudible as she continued down the hall, hearing the sound of the running shower. She silently thanked whoever that the door was unlocked, closing it behind her and locking it, before she tore off her T-Shirt and shorts.

"Leonard," Sheldon's voice came from within, "if you are urinating in this bathroom during _my _allotted shower time, then that will cost you _two_ strikes!" He finished, and she could see his fingers gripping the periodic table shower curtain.

"It's me," she announced in a broken whisper, making Sheldon tug the curtain aside and peer out at her.

"_Penny?"_ He'd barely said her name, before she pried the curtain from his fingers and slipped inside with him. "What are you _doing?" _He shrieked, attempting to cover himself, " You can't be in here, Penny. This is _my_designated time to shower. I realize in Nebraska, it is probably common practice for people to bathe like common ranch hands, but here—"

Without a word, she wrapped her arms around his pressing her face against the surprisingly broad warmth of his wet, bare chest. Sheldon stumbled back a bit into the spray, the water rolling over his shoulders and falling down her back.

"I had a dream," she finally managed to mumble, if only to try and keep him from worrying.

She felt him relax a bit in her arms. "Penny today is not Martin Luther King Jr. day."

Unintentionally, he'd made her laugh. Unintentionally, he'd made everything feel okay again. "I dreamed that I lost the baby…that you blamed me for killing _our_ baby."

"Oh," Sheldon replied, falling silent for a moment. A moment later, Penny felt his hands awkwardly fall to rest against her shoulder blades. "There, there. "

"I _won't_, okay?" Penny promised, tearfully, "I won't lose our baby." She felt his hands begin to move in soothing circles over her back, unsure if he was doing it on purpose or not. She didn't care. It felt wonderful. "I'm sorry…I just need you to hold me."

Sheldon sighed, moving a bit so that she was standing fully beneath the spray, letting the water wet her long locks. When he pulled away from her, Penny felt his fingers twine into her hair, combing lovingly through it, before they locked eyes. At his unspoken request, Penny turned to face away from him, feeling his hands lightly massaging her scalp for a moment. When he stopped, she could hear the sound of a shampoo bottle opening and turned to see.

_No More Tears._ It made her smile.

Slowly, wonderfully, he started to tenderly lather up her hair. Penny settled back against him, letting all her residual fear wash down the drain. His fingers trailed devotedly down every strand, methodically and meticulously, he didn't miss a piece as he guided her head back and adoringly smoothed the long, hanging tendrils.

When her hair was finished, she turned to face him again, turning him away from her by the shoulders. Still holding the shampoo bottle, Sheldon poured some into his hand while Penny prepared his loofah, before laving soap over his back and shoulders while he washed his own hair. When he finished, he turned and pulled her close again, smoothing a large hand over her gleaming, wet hair.

After the shower, Sheldon handed Penny a towel, which she wrapped herself in tightly while he did the same. Facing her, Sheldon broke the silence first.

"I feel no unease about you harming our baby, Penny. The idea is quite similar to that of Wil Wheaton ever landing a legitimate acting job. There is simply no chance."

"Oh honey," Penny managed through her sad and sweet laughter. "I do love you."

Sheldon blushed and leaned down as she pulled him down for a kiss.

Leonard was probably completely freaked out in the living room, but he'd live. Penny had other things on her mind at the moment.

* * *

After their morning shower, and the subsequent distance they received from Leonard following it, Sheldon insisted that Penny take him to the grocery store. Sundays were Grocery Day, but usually, it was he and _Leonard_who made the trek. Since Leonard had plans with Amy, Sheldon needed a ride.

Of course, Penny wasn't _that_ hard to convince. She felt a strong urge to be near Sheldon, especially today after her dream, but he was not all that thrilled about her desire to hold his hand in public or…_anywhere._ But despite the resigned glare he gave her when she grabbed his hand on the way into the store, he didn't pull away from her.

Sheldon came prepared, as always, with a list; the thing was _massive_ and overflowing with items that were ideal for pregnant mothers. Penny had known that he would go over the top with all of this, but what was unexpected, was how much she enjoyed it. Truthfully, she'd thought that his suffocating approach to everything would drive her crazy, but she could see his genuine sincerity in his blue eyes and it touched her.

_He_ was already proving to be a great caregiver.

Her? She wasn't quite so confident.

Once they'd finished shopping and had checked out, they sat together in silence on the drive home. Looking in his direction, Penny noticed he seemed to be deep in thought, his mind a thousand miles away. He hadn't even_mentioned_ her check engine light. Reaching over, she touched his arm to get his attention.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yes," Sheldon sighed, "I apologize for my detachment. I was merely trying to play out my mother's possible reactions in my mind. They all sound like bible excerpts and lectures about the evils of the big city."

Penny frowned. "Your mom likes me though, right? I mean… she won't _hate_ me, _will_ she?"

"Penny," he started without condescension, though he clearly knew something she didn't. "My mother spends the better part of her days worrying that I have gotten myself caught up in some kind of street gang or child trafficking scheme. Her views of the city come from her absurd preference for primetime crime dramas and soap operas."

"And knocking up the blonde bimbo kinda falls right in line with all that, huh?" Penny said, hating the pitiful sound of her voice. She knew that she had robbed Sheldon of his innocence, but she wasn't so sure that it was such a bad thing. She loved him and would protect him at any cost. She could feel his gaze on her.

"I would _never_ refer to you as a 'bimbo,' and I highly doubt that my mother would, either." He then turned his focus back out the window. "However, there _is_ a good chance that she will see it as being a result of the city changing me." He cleared his throat. "How will you go about telling your parents?'

She turned onto the next road, glancing at him, "They're coming in two weeks for my birthday. Just Mom and Dad, so I figure we can tell them then."

"And what do you predict their reaction to the news will be?"

She shrugged. "I really don't _know._ They're not…I mean they know that _I'm _no virgin, but the whole baby out of wedlock thing might bother them, though not as much as your mom. I think they'll be okay. Dad's always wanted grandkids."

"Even though your father _prefers _Leonard," Sheldon spat with a roll of his eyes, as if it were the most ridiculous notion of all time.

Penny grinned, "He's never _met_ you, Sweetie." She reached over again, this time to drape her hand atop his. "Once he sees how _important_ you are to me and how great you treat me, he'll be on our team in no time."

As they pulled into the parking garage, Penny could tell that Sheldon was still lost in his own thoughts. She found a spot and stopped the car, putting it in park and adjusting in her seat a bit to watch him.

Agitated, Sheldon turned his gaze to her and crinkled his brow. "Are you going to inquire about something or are you trying to read my shirt?" He asked, running his fingers over the odd writing. "It's Klingon, it says—"

"Honey, I don't care what the shirt says, I was just watching you. You seem really bothered by the idea of telling your mom."

Sheldon pursed his lips and nodded. "I _am._ It will, no doubt, change her opinion of me, and could change the parameters of our relationship."

"She'll always be your mother, Sheldon." She told him, reassuringly, feeling the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Soon, that would be _her._ It could be _exactly_ her, if MoonPie got his way and she was truly harboring a genius baby in her belly. Sheldon gave an indifferent shrug. "When are you planning on telling her?" She urged.

"This evening." He answered, casually, absentmindedly checking his watch.

"_What?" _Penny cried, paling, "And you couldn't have let me _know_ about this sooner?"

"I suppose, if you had _asked_ sooner, then yes, I could have told you sooner." Penny glared at him, getting out of the car. Unnerved by her staring at him, he spoke, _"What?"_

"Sheldon, what if she wants to talk to _me?"_

"I'm actually quite certain she will _not_ choose to talk to you on the phone," he informed her, moving to her side as they walked through the parking garage.

"Really?" She breathed, slightly relieved.

"Yes. She will, in all likelihood, purchase the first available plane ticket she can find, and fly out here."

"Oh _God!" _Penny cried, burying her face against his shoulder. Sheldon was obviously startled by the contact, but did not push her away. "Has your mother ever _hit_ anyone?"

"Well, she did once punch our mail carrier trying to leer into Missy's window while she was changing."

Penny cringed. _"Ew,_ really?"

"Yes, he was a disgusting man. He constantly smelled of hand lotion and unpleasant cologne samples that he would rip out of various magazines in the mail he delivered. We used to notice the cologne pages were torn out of our subscriptions." As soon as they entered the apartment building, they both stopped, shocked. "Mr_. Jameson?_" Sheldon asked, approaching their landlord, who was speaking with a few men.

Mr. Jameson was a heavyset man, with long, shaggy brown hair and a graying beard. He was quiet, never really one for talking with his tenants. It was a quality Sheldon respected and Penny enjoyed. (Though, the man was never shy about staring at Penny's body.)

An attribute Sheldon had never seemed to notice…until now.

"Hello Dr. Cooper. Penny." He nodded to both of them. "As you can see, I took your letter seriously and now your pregnant girlfriend won't have to walk up the stairs anymore. The elevator has been fixed."

"That _quick?"_ Penny asked, slipping away from Sheldon and pressing the button. She squealed in delight as the button turned orange and the doors opened. "Holy _smokes!"_

"Yep, now your precious cargo can make it to the fourth floor with ease," the landlord said, stepping toward her, " It was an easy fix really, suppose I was just lazy and cheap. It was all electrical." Penny felt his hand fall to the small of her back and felt her skin crawl with discomfort. Thankfully, Sheldon interceded.

"Come Penny," he said, hooking an arm around her waist and pulling her away from the older man, "we need to attend to the problem of informing my mother of our situation" Guiding Penny into the elevator, he glared pointedly at Mr. Jameson, who had returned to his previous conversation.

"She's with _that_ guy?" One of the men asked, as Penny glared and tried to peek through the slow closing doors.

Jameson laughed. "Yeah."

"Must be a pity thing."

Penny glanced up at Sheldon, who didn't seem to care, but _damn _it, _she_ did! "No, he just has a massive _di—"_

Sheldon covered her mouth with his hand. "_Penny!_" He scolded, removing his hand when the doors shut before wiping his palm roughly on his pant leg. "That was _entirely_ unnecessary."

"He was making _fun_ of you." She hissed, still upset, as the elevator started to move upward.

He glanced at his palm, still moist from her where her mouth had been. "It is not something new to me, Penny. I have been dealing with the ineptitude and jealousy of others toward me, my entire life." There was no pain or sadness in his tone, but Penny wished there was _something_ in it. A part of her knew that at _some _point, it must have bothered him.

"Well it's _not_ okay with me. I don't like people talking badly about you! They don't even _know_ you!" She insisted as they reached the fourth floor, and the door chimed again, opening as they left the excitement of the newly repaired elevator and Sheldon led her inside 4A.

"That is of my own choice, Penny. I _choose_ not to know them."

Shutting the door behind them, Penny watched as Sheldon carefully hung his jacket over the back of his computer chair. "Still, if I ever hear someone talking about you like that, I'm going Nebraska on them."

"Does that mean you'll be giving them an ear of corn and tickets to a college football game?" He said as dryly as ever, though Penny couldn't help noticing the smallest, subtlest twitch of his lips upward. She glared at him playfully.

"_No, _it means I'm gonna go get my bat and _make _them apologize to you," She told him, tilting her head and stepping toward him, "Or I may just use it on _you_ and your wise ass comments."

"As always you continue to set a wonderful example for our progeny." He sat in his spot and Penny followed, grinning and patting his cheek.

"What_ever,_ Sweetie, you're the one who wanted to get this over with so…_call your mom."_

He looked at the phone as if it had just called Spock an idiot. "Perhaps we should take in a movie, the new—"

"Sheldon, I've prepared myself for this _now,_ we _have_ to tell her and she'll be upset if you keep waiting."

Defeated, he sighed and grabbed the phone. (It was speed dial one, of course.) "Put it on speaker, I won't talk." Penny whispered, listening to the phone ring, even though his mother hadn't answered yet. The request confused him but he did as she asked and the ringing sounded through the apartment.

"Shelly?" His mother answered, apprehensively. "Sweetie, it's Sunday, you never call on Sundays. Is everything okay?"

Sheldon pursed his lips for a moment. "I am well, mother. I merely have some news that I wish to share with you."

"Shelly," Mary sighed, "if this is about that research grant you were going for on those dang cold matter whoseits then I'm _not_ interested. The good Lord knows I tolerated that nonsense long enough last week, and my church group prayed for ya, there's not much else I can do."

"I am going to ignore the blatantly offensive comment that my work is, quote, nonsense, and get to my point. Mother…I have impregnated a female."

Penny covered her face in shock and embarrassment; of course he wouldn't ease his poor mother into the news. No, not Sheldon Lee Cooper. Dive right in and darn the consequences was _his _motto!

His mother started to chuckle, "Oh good _heavens,_ Shelly. Have those friends of yours convinced you to prank call me? You know I don't appreciate you worrying me with a call on Sunday for these kinds of shenanigans."

"Mother, I _assure_ you that I am _not,_ nor have I ever _been,_ one for shenanigans." He responded, looking to Penny, who had gone ghost white. "I am going to be a father."

The line fell silent. Penny and Sheldon shared a look when Mary did not answer for a long moment that seemed to stretch into hours. Penny swallowed, leaning over to make sure they were still connected. They were.

"Sheldon, this _ain't _funny okay?" Mary did not sound amused, "What's goin' _on?"_

"Mother, I am _not_ making a joke," Sheldon sighed, "I have engaged in intercourse and the results are as they have been throughout the existence of the human race. I impregnated my neighbor."

"Oh _God…"_ Penny moaned, slapping the hell out of his arm and making him yelp in pain.

"What was that?" Mary asked, shakily.

"The _mother_ of my child," Sheldon answered, glaring at Penny, "though I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this arrangement."

"You're talking about that Penny aren't you?" His mother's tone was soft, almost broken and the guilt was really starting to hit Penny. She'd stolen Mary Cooper's innocent little boy. "She's there with you?"

"Yes, mother, I have us on speaker phone."

Another silence fell over the room. Penny built up all her courage, plastering on a smile for someone who couldn't see her and finding her voice.

"Hi Mary."

"Penny," the older woman said, in a voice that sounded frighteningly like Sheldon when he was aggravated with her. "Sheldon, take me off this blasted speaker phone, the echo is driving me up the wall!"

As if he'd just been ordered to clean his room, Sheldon turned off speaker phone and rose to his feet with the receiver to his ear. "Mother?"

Penny couldn't hear what was going on now. Watching Sheldon pace around the apartment like a mad man, she felt worry roil in the pit of her stomach, wondering if the baby could feel it too.

"We were slightly intoxicated." He paused, huffing, "_No,_ Mother! I have _not_ become an alcoholic. _Yes _I understand the risks…_yes…_Mother, _please!_" Sheldon whined, looking to Penny for help, but she shook her head. "I have _not_ joined a cult. Why would I _do_ such a thing, when you know how much I loathe the outdoors…and the dark?"

Sheldon fell silent as Mary Cooper began to rail at her son over the line, the tone of her voice audible in the silent apartment. Penny couldn't hear what she was saying, but she knew it couldn't be good judging by the wince on his face.

Finally, he spoke again, his tone a good decibel lower than before, "Yes, I'll tell her. See you next week. Goodbye Mother." He hung up the phone and set it back into the carrying before retaking his spot next to her.

"So she's coming?"

"Yes," Sheldon replied slowly, nodding, "and she is bringing along Missy and…my MeeMaw."

Penny buried her face in her hands and wondered how long it would take her to get across the Mexican border. "Oh _Damn it, _Sheldon this is gonna be _terrible_."

"Penny, my mother merely wishes to assess the situation for herself. She wanted me to inform you that she plans to have a 'chat' with you when she comes. They will all be arriving sometime next week. Missy is going to email the details to me."

Penny collapsed against Sheldon's shoulder, seeking comfort. An occurrence that had become regular for them. He never pulled away from her anymore, and, even though he didn't initiate any contact, he always offered her solace by allowing her to be close to him.

"So…your family next week, and mine the week after?" Penny asked, running her thumb over the back of his hand. When he shifted a little, Penny looked up to see him watching where her fingers were stroking his hand.

"It would seem as such, yes."

"And we're still dealing with Leonard and the gang adjusting to this?"

"Yes."

"And we're going to have a real live, tiny, wailing, screaming, pooping baby to take care of in nine months?" Penny felt a surge of panic overwhelm her, filling her senses like she was on a rocking boat and making her queasy.

Sheldon let out a slow exhale, taking it all in, "Yes."

"Sheldon?"

"Penny?"

"I'm sorry."

She threw up in his lap.


	22. The Family Formality - Part One

**The Family Formality – Part One**

Penny was exhausted.

That seemed to be the default setting for her days now, especially the ones where she worked, like today. She'd been on shift for eight hours and coming home now she wondered if she would make it to the damn elevator. Thank _God _they had fixed the elevator.

This puking thing was starting to become a problem. She worried she might be throwing up too much but checking online it turns out that she was actually throwing up less than a lot of other mothers-to-be on the little forum she'd found.

Her body ached, she was starting to put on just a little bit of excess weight and it was struggling to stay put in her old Cheesecake Factory uniform. She was terrified to ask for new ones, she wanted to keep wearing her skinny clothes as long as she could.

Making her way to the mailboxes, she used her key and opened the slot to find a few random envelopes and a rolled up catalog. She pulled out her mail and scanned through the letters.

"Junk," she mumbled to herself. "Junk, junk, letter from Zach." She said with a sigh before throwing it away in the nearby trash can. She didn't dislike Zach and all and she ended things pretty amicably with him. But she was off the market now, in more ways than one so any letter from an ex was worthless. "Junk and…" she groaned internally. "Oh crap, hospital bill." Using her fingernail, she peeled open the envelope and pulled out the statement. She read idly through a few of the random lines and finally found the total. "214 dollars!" She cried indignantly while her mind suddenly went back to Sheldon telling her that there would be probably a dozen or more visits during her pregnancy. "Dammit." She whispered and stuffed the letter back inside.

"Penny?" She heard Sheldon's voice coming down the stairs, he was almost in the lobby.

She glanced towards the bottom step as he approached and offered her best smile when he came into view. "Hey you," she said with a grin and moved towards him.

"Hello." He offered in return and placed his hands behind his back. "Oh good, I'm glad I could catch you before you attempted to use the elevator?"

"Why?"

"Because Mr. Warner from 5B was riding around in it earlier and when Leonard and I attempted to use it we found a balled up handkerchief lying on the floor. " He explained with horror in his eyes. "I cannot imagine the pathogens that are lingering in that box." Sheldon took a step towards her and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. "Therefore I will be helping you up the stairs as it is not safe to enter the elevator at this time."

Penny sighed tiredly. "Sweetie, I know you mean well but I really don't want to do the stairs right now. My feet hurt and my head hurts. I don't think I'm going to catch anything from a snot rag on the floor of the elevator."

"That is not a risk we can take Penny." He said without room for argument and placed his hand on her back.

She held her ground. "Sheldon, unless you're planning on carrying me up those stairs, I'm not climbing all the up four flights."

He glared at her. "We both know that I cannot _carry _you up the stairs."

With that, she shrugged and pressed the button to call the elevator. It dinged as it reached the bottom floor and the door opened. Sheldon took a big step away from it and grabbed Penny's jacket to drag her back as well.

"Sheldon," Penny moaned in aggravation and looked up at him. "It'll be fine, okay. I'll put my hand over my mouth or… hold my breath or something. I won't get sick, I promise."

He wasn't wrong, there was a small rag lying on the ground all balled up in the corner. However, as Penny took a closer look at it, she started to chuckle.

"I fail to see the humor in this, the health of you and our child is not funny."

Penny reached up and touched his cheek softly before patting it twice with a bit of sharpness and a smile. "Sweetie, if you were so afraid of your own shadow half the time you would have seen—" Penny took a step into the elevator, ignoring Sheldon's pleas. "That this is a glasses cleaning cloth," she picked up the cloth. "Not a carrier of disease."

She exited the elevator and walked over towards him to display her victory. Sheldon was none too pleased as she waved the cloth in his face. His eyes cast away from her. "Very well, I'll see you upstairs." He started for the steps but Penny grabbed his green Joker T-shirt and pulled him back.

"No, no, no… I haven't seen you all day and the elevator is clean, come here." She dragged him inside before quickly pushing the button for the fourth floor and began kissing him as the doors closed. Backing herself up against the wall, she gripped onto Sheldon's shirt and held him close as their kiss deepened just a bit. Penny pulled away first. "Mm… that's what I needed today."

Sheldon sighed in odd contentment, his hands resting on her hips. "I am still not thrilled about the uncleanliness of this elevator."

"Honey, unless the guy has Ebola on his glasses I think we're fine." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "All three of us."

Once again his hands started to thread through her hair, an action that Penny was quickly starting to develop an addiction for.

"Did you experience any discomfort during your shift?" He asked in a serious tone.

Penny sighed and nodded. "Yeah, but nothing unusual. Just tired, cramping… my… you know," she gestured towards her breasts. "Are kinda sore today."

"Oh," Sheldon nodded, blushing slightly. "Yes well that is a common symptom. They will actually begin to increase in size." Suddenly he wasn't looking at her anymore and Penny felt herself grinning like a Cheshire cat.

She was about to try and draw this teasing out further when the door opened to the fourth floor and Sheldon hastily pulled her out of the elevator as if they were locked in a gas chamber.

As they stood between 4A and 4B, Penny suddenly remembered the envelope in her hand and held it up for Sheldon to see.

He accepted it in silence and pulled out the letter, reading through it before glancing back to her. "This is the average rate for a hospital visit."

"Yeah and I am so out of money that the average rate is gonna put me on the street!" She cried and he nodded slowly, soaking in the information.

The sudden sounds of raucous gaming from his apartment where the guys were prompted Penny to take Sheldon's hand and lead him to her apartment.

"But Penny it is almost my turn." Sheldon said, looking back to his apartment.

She sighed and unlocked her door. "They can skip you once, Sweetie. I need to talk to you."

Eventually they were in her apartment, Sheldon standing in the doorway of her bedroom while Penny changed out of her uniform. He still looked away when she was naked and Penny smiled adoringly at him before letting him know she was covered.

They had taken two showers together in the last week and yet he still couldn't watch her change clothes. Oh, and they are having a child together, but whatever. Finally decked out in her comfiest pair of sweats and her tighter fitting Flash t-shirt, Penny guided them to the couch.

"I can't afford to pay these Sheldon." She said, gesturing towards the bill that was lying on her coffee table.

He nodded again, taking in the look of worry in her eyes. "I will cover them,"

Penny sighed. "Sheldon, I know you make good money and have a bunch saved up but you can't afford all these visits and they're only going to get more expensive when we start using Ultrasounds and stuff like that, plus who knows how much it costs to get the room where you actually have the baby. We can't afford it… I can't."

"Insurance will cover—"

"I'm not on your insurance, Sweetie,"

He sent her a decisive glare. "A problem that could be fixed if you would simply marry me and make my mother happy."

She matched his glare. "I'm not marrying you for insurance, Sheldon. Or to make your mother happy, we're not even close to there yet." She exhaled. "I'm going to have to start paying for health insurance."

"If you cannot afford these bills then you will struggle to pay for health insurance." Sheldon said simply, just trying to state all the facts.

However, his words made Penny start to cry. "I know!" she whined. "How am I supposed to have a baby when I can't even pay to go to the stupid doctor and have checkups?" Her voice fell a few decibels, to a broken whisper. "I am so not ready for this."

Gently, Sheldon patted her back. "There, there." He assured awkwardly but it was more than enough for Penny to fall against his side for support. "I can help you cover the costs of health insurance."

"Sheldon," she breathed but he was insistent.

"I am not suggesting I pay for it all but Penny… I won't have you getting prenatal checkups from disgraced doctors living on the streets simply because they'll only charge you a few dollars for booze." His tone was comforting and it sounded so odd with the words he spoke.

Penny smiled, damn him for making her feel better when she really didn't want too. "Thank you," she whispered, her words carrying weight she prayed he felt.

"This is _our _child, Penny. Your low end job combined with my high honored position at the university must balance each other out." She groaned a bit but said nothing as his hand continued to rub circles on her back.

Suddenly though, he pulled her away at arms-length. "What are—"

"I have news and I do not wish to be vomited on again," he said with a dark glare that made her flush with embarrassment.

"Oh," she whispered and laughed humorlessly. "Still mad about that?"

He glared. "I spent three hours in the shower and had to be without my cushion for two days while it was being cleaned."

Penny pursed her lips and nodded. "Right, what's your news?"

"My family will be arriving tomorrow. I received an email from my sister informing me of their itinerary." As he finished, he pulled away from her with concern.

She smiled and grabbed his arms to pull him back. "I'm not going to puke, we both knew they were coming, we'll handle it."

"That does seem to be our rallying cry." He said with a sigh and looked into her eyes.

Penny nodded with a giggle and covered her chest. "Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"My boobs hurt," she complained and watched as he looked at her chest for a moment and the back to her face.

"Right… I shall Google remedies." And he stood up in a rush to find her computer open at the kitchen table.

From her spot on the couch she watched him silently thanking whoever it was that brought him to her. She couldn't make it through this without her crazy ass MoonPie.

* * *

Penny was a nervous wreck.

Sheldon was in the kitchen preparing ingredients for fried chicken that his mother had promised to make.

Either way, they were both handling the stress of the Cooper family's arrival in their own way. Penny had offered to pick them up at the airport but, apparently, Mary wanted to take a cab. That was the first sign of trouble.

Though she knew it wouldn't change anything, Penny had a sinking suspicion that she was not the most popular person in Momma Cooper's eyes right now. She had taken away the innocence of her baby, she was carrying her son's child out of wedlock, and she was a damn waitress who Mary probably thought slept with any guy who offered her a Kit Kat.

She didn't.

Still, it was nearly seven-thirty and the drive from the airport couldn't take much longer than thirty minutes so the knock on the door was coming any second.

Despite the fact that this was Sheldon's apartment and everything was already cleaner than a housecat's front paw, Penny was arranging magazines and adjusting random things on the tables like they were living in chaos.

The urge to wear her favorite pair of sweats and a big Cornhuskers t-shirt was tough to resist, but she wanted to make a good first impression on the future Grandmother, Great-Grandmother and Aunt to her child. So she wore a nice purple dress that was only slightly tighter than it used to be before she and Sheldon lost their minds (or rather had them hazed over with Mountain Dew flavored alcohol).

Sheldon, of course, could care less about his attire, though he did pull out the plaid pants and Penny was slowly realizing that he considered these his "good pair".

Turning back to the kitchen, Penny watched as Sheldon struggled to put a massive bag of flour up on the island. "Sheldon, your mom isn't going to want to cook anything tonight."

"Penny," he started, looking at her as if she were talking out of her ass. "This is not for my mother, though she is a wonderful cook and her pies have won countless baking contests, these ingredients are for MeeMaw."

She glared at him. "You're going to make your eighty-seven year old Grandmother cook for you after she's just been on an airplane and riding in a car for the last six hours?"

"You cannot _make _MeeMaw do anything, Penny. She enjoys cooking for me, she's told me this countless times."

"Yeah but—"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Penny's face went pale. Sheldon looked at her with confusion, unsure of why she was such a mess as he crossed by her to the door.

Penny flattened her dress a few times, put on her absolute best smile and watched as Mary Cooper stepped inside and hugged her son as if he'd been lost at sea for seven years.

"Oh, Shelly look at you!" Mary cried, holding him tightly and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Watching from behind, Penny saw his muscles go rigid at the heavy embrace as he oddly held his mother close.

She leaned to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of MeeMaw but only saw Missy. It was a far cry from the last time Penny saw Sheldon's sister. She wasn't in a nice dress or with her hair done perfectly. She was wearing a ponytail and a Texas Longhorns sweatshirt (that made the Cornhuskers fan inside of her die a little). She looked tired, like she was coming off a bad week, or a bad breakup, or both.

Penny could sympathize.

Finally Sheldon stepped aside and Mary came into the house with all the presence of a family matriarch and that was completely trumped when MeeMaw finally stepped inside with the warmest smile Penny had ever seen.

Now over the last five years of knowing Sheldon and knowing how much he loved his grandmother, she'd tried to picture the woman. In her mind MeeMaw looked a lot like her grandmother. A broad woman (much like Penny) with strong arms and wide shoulders and a stern face. After all, Sheldon and Missy were very tall and even Mary looked like she could intimidate most people.

However, MeeMaw was nothing like that. She was short, _maybe _five foot two inches tall with horn-rimmed glasses and the most wonderful smile that instantly made Penny feel better. This was clearly her first time in Sheldon's apartment and she was taking in all the sights.

"Oh MoonPie it's like you just moved your bedroom into this place isn't it?" MeeMaw cooed as she pulled him down to her level and started to kiss all over his cheeks. He certainly didn't seem to have any germ issues around his grandmother.

That was when Penny saw him smile, apparently this was his MeeMaw smile because she'd never seen it before. It was so content and sweet and untroubled as he seemed to be so often in his life now. She could see the eight year old boy in him as he ate chocolate chip cookies at his grandmother's kitchen table

Penny was now very welcome to the idea of this woman becoming a part of her family in some way.

Of course, when she turned around to talk to Missy who had raced to the bathroom and was returning, Penny was met with the fiery eyes of Sheldon's mother. "You're carrying my boy's child?"

"Uh," Penny swallowed the lump in her throat. "Y—yeah," she smiled as best she could. "I am."

Mary nodded slowly, eyeing Penny up and down. "I don't think you'll fit in my weddin' dress. Even if I fix her up to fit your belly in there I think it's too short."

"What?" Penny cried and turned to Sheldon who was now watching the scene in fear. "Sheldon, did you tell her—"

"Shelly didn't tell me anything but if you two are bringing a baby into this world ya'll have to be married, it's only right." Mary said as if the decision was made and moved back to the door to bring in the bags they'd brought. "Help me bring in these bags, Shelly, I know it's short notice but you'll hardly notice we're here."

Sheldon sighed. "Hardly notice? Mother we don't have enough beds here to fit all three of you."

Still, he started to move to pick up the bags but was met with a wall full of blonde hair and anger. "Sheldon! We're not going to ignore what just happened, we _aren't _getting married!"

"No grandchild of mine is growing up in sin," Mary off-handedly responded. She was clearly used to her word being the final word but Penny was not going to kowtow to this.

"No."

Mary took a step towards Penny. "Now you listen to me,"

"Mary Belle," the soft voice of Sheldon's MeeMaw filled the room and Penny watched in intense fascination as Mrs. Cooper's face shifted from anger to resignation.

"Momma," Mary pleaded and looked to the small, older woman.

MeeMaw moved slowly towards her daughter and touched her cheek. "Let's give them a chance, all right? Let them show us what kinda situation they've got here before we go makin' decisions for em'."

Penny fought the urge to hug Sheldon's grandmother. Sheldon did not, he just hugged her.

Sheldon's mother pouted and it looked oddly like when Sheldon didn't get his way. Penny needed her own way to thank this woman who'd saved her from making a scene in protest at the lunacy of marrying her baby's father. "Why don't you take my bed, Mrs. Lee?" Penny offered warmly to the older woman.

"Oh dear I couldn't do that to any woman carrying a child, I know how discomforting that can be. I'd be happy to take your couch though. Heaven knows I'm tiny enough to fit on one."

That was when Missy finally returned to the living room. "MeeMaw, you know sleepin' on a couch will kill your back."

"Oh Shortcake I slept on the floor for years growin' up with my parents cause they just had to have more kids then they had beds." She walked over and patted Missy on the cheek softly. "I'll be fine."

This made Penny smile, they had barely met but she was already finding herself leaning on the side of wonderful when it came to Sheldon's MeeMaw.

After a rather uncomfortable dinner that involved Leonard coming home and shuffling off to his room with a few quick hellos and an awkward smile when MeeMaw asked him what he thought of the upcoming addition. Where Mary barely said two words but that was still more then Missy managed, everyone separated after a long flight and promised to sort everything out in the morning.

The family watched while Sheldon offered Penny her pills and said something about her starting on paperwork to begin paying for health insurance, they shared a kiss that felt like some she'd had at auditions and guided MeeMaw to her apartment. Missy would be taking the boy's couch and Mary would sleep in Sheldon's bed while he slept in Leonard's (who decided to go to Raj's to help with space).

Once they were inside Penny's apartment (and Penny realized that she _really _should have cleaned) the oldest Cooper took a seat on the couch and let out a tired breath. "They can be exhausting, can't they?" MeeMaw said to Penny who was digging through her cupboard for some tea.

"Uh, what?" Penny asked sweetly.

MeeMaw grinned sheepishly. "You know what I mean. You think Sheldon is the only one in this family who's stubborn as a mule?" Penny found the tea and started to heat some water. With that, she moved to the living room and took a seat where the older woman was patting the cushion next to her. "His mother was so set in her ways, it's different than Shelly cause he's all about the smarts and stuff and Mary wouldn't listen to a word me or her daddy ever said to her about those boys and the trouble she got in." Penny chuckled slightly and caught a knowing glance from MeeMaw. "I take it you got yourself a little bit of that in ya?"

Penny grinned. "I used too, until now… I mean having a baby takes a lot of that away from you."

"Suppose it does," MeeMaw said slightly, as if she were coaxing something out of Penny.

The blonde smiled and nodded. "But it's nothing I can't live without." She finished with a smile that drew the same expression from MeeMaw. "I love your grandson, Miss…?" Penny let it hang, a bit embarrassed that she didn't know this woman's last name.

"Lee," she helped and patted Penny's knee. "And I'm glad to hear that you feel so strongly for him, he hasn't had much love in his life."

This drew Penny's full attention. "What do you mean?"

MeeMaw smiled sadly. "Well outside of his family, my MoonPie was always teased and picked on, even by his family sometimes. George Jr. and his daddy used to love pokin' fun at Shelly and his ways. When he got older he'd just ignored it and I think it's kinda why he doesn't really listen to anyone when they tell him what they think but when he was little… it used to really bother him."

"Something tells me that Sheldon always wanted his dad's approval." Penny added softly.

Mrs. Lee nodded. "Yep, but George never knew nothing about what Shelly does and cause of that he did what he knew and made jokes about it." There was a silence that fell over the room and Penny's mind went to the image of little Sheldon Cooper trying to tell his dad about what he was doing and then having his brother and father team up to make fun of him.

Maybe it was the hormones but the idea of it all brought Penny to tears as the whistle blew for the tea kettle. She stood up quickly and wiped at her eyes with a shy smile.

A moment later she returned with MeeMaw's tea and watery eyes. "I hope it's okay,"

"I'm sure it'll be fine," MeeMaw said, ignoring the tea for the moment. "You didn't like that did you?"

Penny cast the older woman a confused look. "What?"

"The idea of Shelly being mistreated by his daddy."

The blonde sighed and shook her head. "No, not at all… people… I know that Sheldon can be tough to deal with but he's not a freak or weird or anything other than who he is and he's never sorry for that. If I had actually punched the number of people that I wanted too for looking at him or saying something about him I'd be in prison."

With that, MeeMaw reached over and took Penny's hand in her own. "Hon, you've got this old woman's stamp of approval to bring another member into this family." As Penny smiled with more tears in her eyes, MeeMaw leaned in close. "And don't tell Mary, but that's all you really need."

Yep, Penny loved this woman.


	23. The Family Formality - Part Two

**The Family Formality – Part Two**

It was still dark out when Penny rolled over in her bed and felt her chest tense up. She winced at the sharp pain in her body and sat up, damn Mary Cooper and her amazing Fried Chicken, it was killing her now.

She climbed out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Turning the faucet on softly as not to make too much noise and wake up Sheldon's grandmother, Penny let the water pool in her hands and splashed it on her face.

Sheldon had mentioned that pregnant women were more vulnerable to heartburn, something about hormones and changes in their body.

Penny was tired of all the damn changes in her body.

Half the time the entire thing just felt like some kind of stage play. Like she could go home and take off the makeup and be the girl used to be. As if she were in a play and this character was just secondary, but it wasn't her.

These feeling only came when she was alone and lately the idea scared her, that this wasn't real. She was invested in this now, she'd pictured her life with Sheldon and sure in her mind it was perfect and she knew that it wouldn't be. But it was better than any other place she'd been before.

Better then waking up in the middle of the night and hearing TJ's phone buzz, knowing it was Valerie Mossbocker sending him photos of herself. Knowing that if she asked him about it he would lie to her.

It was better than those days with Kurt, watching him drink and knowing that if she said something wrong he'd go off and start dragging her around the room by the hair, that he'd call her fat and stupid and then coax her into bed because he knew she had nowhere else to go.

Even with Leonard, who was such a great person but was never enough. She never loved him like that and it killed her because she could see it coming before he said it. The way he looked at her, the way he acted and how much he clung to her. She knew he loved her and the idea of him bringing it up terrified her. The idea of being told she was loved and having to turn that away was heartbreaking.

Sheldon was different, she loved him and it hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't lie to herself about it, it wasn't anything she was desperately clinging too, hell she knew it would probably be easier if she could have loved one of those burly jocks but they never made her feel like he did.

He was complicated and broken in his own way. He has major issues with touching and being around other people, he's arrogant and neurotic but he finds a way to make her feel like the most important person in the world.

She wouldn't trade Sheldon for anything. The idea of having his baby was terrifying, but kind of the best thing she'd ever done with her life.

Penny decided to go check on Sheldon's grandmother, remembering that the eighty-seven year old woman had demanded that she sleep on the couch while Penny took the bed.

Slipping out of the bathroom, her chest still burning, Penny peered into the living room through the small crack in her bedroom door and felt her stomach twist into knots at the sight of MeeMaw sitting on the edge of the couch taking in big, ragged breaths.

Penny froze at the sight, her mind wandering to the idea of something really being wrong or if it might just be the same heartburn she was dealing with. Then MeeMaw started to cough sharply, desperately trying to cover her mouth and hide the sounds. When she looked back to Penny's door, the blonde moved into the shadows and felt her emotions overwhelm as she started to tear up.

It was a feeling, just a sense that this was not random heartburn. The way MeeMaw tried to silence it, the way she panicked and looked to see if Penny was still asleep had to mean she was hiding something.

Slowly, she made her way back to bed and laid down uncomfortably, listening to the sounds of the older woman on her couch still quietly coughing and Penny felt hot tears roll down her cheeks.

As the sounds faded off, Penny made a quick check to make sure that MeeMaw was still okay, but even after finding the old woman asleep, she struggled to find her own rest for the remainder of the night.

When the sun was barely up and shimmering through her window, Penny heard the sounds of pans being rustled in the kitchen. She was tired, her night had been cut short but she climbed out of bed quickly to see what state MeeMaw was in.

The sight she saw was not at all what she expected. The older woman was cracking eggs that Penny couldn't help but notice had _Sheldon _written on the box, she was stirring batter in another pot and smiling all the while.

"Good morning, Penelope." MeeMaw chirped brightly before pouring the batter onto what appeared to be Leonard's waffle iron. "I was gonna do this in Shelly's house but Missy was still sleepin' on the couch and Shelly was in the shower so I figured I'd make us some waffles and see if we can drag any of their lazy bones on over."

Penny smiled, trying not to appear overly aware of MeeMaw but she was watching her like a hawk, subtle glances. She looked to see if any of her movements might be hurting her or making her wince.

There was nothing, she just smiled and stirred. She barely had to pay attention to what she was doing her skills were so sharp in the kitchen.

"It smells wonderful," Penny finally managed, not wanting to be rude. "Sheldon makes amazing French toast."

MeeMaw grinned. "Yep, MoonPie and I had a few lessons before he left Texas. He needed a good home cooked meal every once in a while cause that fast food will just make you waddle."

Smiling, Penny reached for the orange juice that was already on the table, with a glass next to it waiting, and poured herself some.

"I cook for him sometimes, well just the spaghetti with hotdogs."

This drew a rather boisterous chuckle from MeeMaw. "Oh you and his mother… he tries to get me to make it for em' but I'm not about to put hotdog pieces into perfectly good spaghetti sauce." As the cooking settled a bit and the waffles were heating up, MeeMaw leveled a gaze on Penny. "Never did hear about your backstory, Omaha right?"

"Yeah," Penny nodded slowly. "I grew up on a farm."

"Ah yeah you have that build, broad shoulders and strong hands."

Penny flushed. "Nobody could milk the cows like I could. I loved it but… I didn't want spend my life tending to animals so… I came out here with my boyfriend and that was a mistake," Penny laughed despite herself. "I left him when things got bad and found the boys across the hall. The rest is history."

"What does your family have to say about all this baby stuff?" MeeMaw asked, plucking out a few ready waffles and setting them on a plate.

"They don't know yet," Penny admitted, happily taking the plate of syrupy goodness. "They're coming down next week for my birthday and we're gonna tell them then." MeeMaw only nodded, watching as Penny cut into her waffles. "I think they'll be okay with it." She added, feeling a bit pressed to keep talking as the older woman continued to watch her.

MeeMaw then smiled. "You are beautiful." She said and Penny flushed profusely as she stared into her plate. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Penny said easily, taking a bite.

There was a slight pause and Penny watched in wonder as Sheldon's grandmother took a few short breaths to find the right words and then smiled again. "Will you make sure that my MoonPie is taken care of after I'm gone?"

"Mrs.—"

"Now child, I'm not asking you to do anything that I don't think you'll already be doing but lets face it, I'm eighty-seven years old and the only thing left in this world for me to worry about is that my sweet but unaware grandson would end up alone. He never fit in in Texas, he found friends here but he tells me they all spend most of their time trying to get away from him." Penny felt her chest boil at the words. She knew the guys struggled to handle Sheldon sometimes, she knew they went out of their way to stay clear of him. But to hear now, the Sheldon knew they avoided him made her want to deliver a three course throat punch. "But you love him?"

Tears raced down Penny's cheeks, breakfast suddenly feeling a lot heavier than a nice meal with her child's great-grandmother.

"I do, I love him very much."

MeeMaw nodded. "Good."

"Are you okay?" Penny asked, feeling uncomfortable but oddly desperate to know.

"Oh honey, I'm eighty-seven." She reminded with a sly grin and a wink. "I'll never be as good as I was fifty years ago." Suddenly there were three knocks on the door and the call of Penny's name. "Oh, you'd better eat up quick cause Shelly loves my waffles."

Penny wiped at her cheeks. "But it's oatmeal day."

"Not when MeeMaw is in town it ain't." And before Penny could make to answer the door, Sheldon's grandmother was headed in that direction.

From her spot at the table, Penny watched as they exchanged a good morning hug and MeeMaw swooped into kiss his cheek before guiding him to the kitchen.

Turning back to her food, Penny felt the sadness wash over her. If last night had been any indication, then this morning all but confirmed that MeeMaw was not well.

When she felt Sheldon's weight in the stool next to her, Penny looked slightly over to him and his black superman shirt with blue long sleeves coming out from under. The idea of this boy losing his grandmother terrified her, she wanted to reach out and hug him, protect him from the very thought of him dealing with that.

She refrained, smiled when he found her eyes.

"Good morning, Penny." He offered and she licked her lips, they tasted of syrup.

"Morning, Sweetie."

That was when Sheldon slid a closed hand to the spot next to her plate and dropped two large pills beside her. "You've forgotten these in my apartment. Oddly good luck I suppose as I am much better suited to keep you on track in taking them."

She couldn't even give him a proper glare and he seemed a bit thrown by her lack of aggravation to his bringing her the prenatal vitamins.

Penny took a drink of juice, put the first pill in and took another hefty drink and swallowed with everything she had. Repeating the process, she winced and groaned before suddenly realizing she'd lost her appetite.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Lee, those pills kinda ruin eating for me." She said weakly, lifting her unfinished plate and moving towards the sink.

MeeMaw moved up behind her and took over the dish cleaning. "That's okay, dear. Why don't you go shower up while I finish cooking these and wake up the others.

Penny smiled softly and nodded before turning to Sheldon and seeing him dive right into his plate of waffles. Moving around the counter, she dropped a gentle kiss on his cheek and rubbed his back before sashaying off to the bedroom.

When she reached the quiet safety of her room, Penny fell back against the closed door and listened to MeeMaw asking about their hotel reservations for the week. MeeMaw certainly needed a bed, she couldn't sleep on a couch another night. The only reason they did last night was because they could only book the hotel today and Mary wanted one near the church.

No doubt to pray for her son and the harlot that took away his innocence.

After a very long and much needed shower, Penny was dressed and ready for the day an hour later. She'd taken off work to spend time with Sheldon's family as he'd also taken a few days to be with them. He had so much leftover vacation time he could mountain bike to Florida and back and still have a few days to recover.

She smiled at the image of him in little biker shorts, with a big Flash symbol on the back. This, of course, prompted Penny to wear her own Flash t-shirt that was starting to become harder to squeeze into. She put a sweatshirt on over the top and stuck a Penny Blossom in her hair before stepping out into the living room to see that everyone had migrated over to her apartment.

The lingering of morning sickness hung over her, she'd only thrown up once but her stomach felt thick with something vile but she wore her smile well and moved to the couch where Sheldon was flipping through the channels. Mary was on the phone talking rather quietly and MeeMaw was going through some of Penny's magazines with Missy and they were reading together.

Penny felt an odd train of thought run through her mind. These people were a part of her family now, they were the family of her daughter and she would forever be inclined to be around them. She enjoyed their company, even if Mary wasn't her biggest fan and there was clearly something bothering Missy, they were connected to her now… they always would be.

Looking over at Sheldon, she smiled when he met her gaze. "What's on the agenda today, MoonPie?"

"Only MeeMaw calls me—"

"I think she can have it, Shelly." MeeMaw said from over the top of the magazine she was reading.

Sheldon huffed a bit and conceded. "I believe my mother wishes to go shopping. Then I thought we might take in a trip to the zoo."

"You mean the same zoo that you've been too like sixty times this year?"

He glared at her. "I have been to the zoo eleven times in 2012, Penny."

Sighing contently, she nestled into his side, sending a look to Mary who was watching them as she listened on the phone.

Penny refocused on Sheldon and the strange cartoon he was watching. "The zoo is fine, I want to see the monkeys anyways."

"I don't even think this zoo has monkeys with trunks." He teased and when she looked into his face there was a soft smirk on it. Penny rolled her eyes and felt the fatigue from her restless night's sleep catching up.

Just as she was about to succumb to the warmth of Sheldon's body, he moved against her and she woke up as he rose off the couch. "Mother is ready to go." Sheldon said and Penny sighed heavily before standing up as well.

Mary called for Sheldon to walk with her and MeeMaw was in the lead which left Penny and Missy in the back.

Penny tried not to stare but Missy's sad demeanor was filling the room with a heavy cloud of discontent.

So Penny reached out and grabbed Missy's arm to hold her back as the others took a created a distance down the hall. Once they were out of earshot, Penny asked. "Are you doing okay?"

"Oh," Missy smiled slightly. "Is it that obvious?" She laughed. "I've had a really horrible week, month… year I guess. I just lost my job."

"At the restaurant?" Missy nodded and shrugged. "I'm sorry,"

"I'm sorry that I'm so bothered by it, I mean I never intended to stay there long but seven years went by and I was still wearing that awful uniform, I felt like my life was just in a rut and then my boyfriend dumped me, took me to a fancy restaurant, I thought he was gonna propose or somethin' but no… he just ended it. Asshole."

"What a jerk." Penny cried.

Missy nodded earnestly. "I know, you've got it made, Penn cause Shelly has only ever _had _eyes for one girl and I don't see him lingering them towards anyone else."

"So this guy cheated on you?"

The brunette shrugged. "Maybe, I don't know but I'm thinking there was someone else cause he kept talkin' bout how he's found what he was looking for and I wasn't a part of it."

Penny nodded slowly. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," Missy laughed sadly. "I'm just not sure what to do with my life."

Absentmindedly, Penny was rubbing soft circled on Missy's back, her own past sounding oddly familiar to all this. The job, the emptiness, she still had most of that. Except now she had this strange future with Sheldon and her baby. It was undefined and unknown but it was there, waiting for her.

Penny left Los Robles in an odd daze of happiness about her life.

* * *

Monday night came and Sheldon was extremely giddy about watching the first episode of some animated series he'd been waiting for since he'd heard about it in the spring. Penny was in a great mood herself and with Leonard taking Amy to dinner and a movie, the Coopers were in their hotel room, and they had the apartment all to themselves.

Penny sat on the couch, watching Sheldon as he meticulously plotted out his snacks for the evening. The show as only an hour long but he had popcorn and lightly salted potato chips and a tall glass of his precious Mountain Dew.

There was this… irremovable smile on his face tonight and Penny was on cloud nine being with him. Her own day had felt oddly surreal and perfect. Sure Mary Cooper hadn't said two words to her, but Missy did and MeeMaw went to each animal exhibit with her and they all listened as Sheldon went on and on about each of them.

She wondered if it was the hormones, they had been bringing out so much sadness and sorrow in her that she wondered if they actually went the other way. If they were the cause of her serenity tonight, whatever it was, she loved it.

Sheldon brought his snacks over one at a time, popcorn first. He glared at Penny when she stole a few pieces. Then his chips and he sighed with agony when she stole a couple of those two and when the Mountain Dew came, she smirked at him and he slid it to the far end of the table, out of her reach.

"Brat," she teased and took a few more pieces of popcorn.

"As if you haven't had enough when you use it to drown your vitamins." He returned and took a small sip of his drink. "Speaking of—"

"Yeah, I took the damn pills. You know, it's getting easier to swallow them."

Sheldon glanced at her with bright eyes. "Really?"

"No," she countered with a grin as he rolled his eyes. "So… how did it go here last night, after I took MeeMaw to my place?" Penny asked. She hadn't told Sheldon about what she'd heard from his grandmother and she decided not to.

The moment of the decision came when they were all at the zoo and Sheldon was following his MeeMaw around like a lost puppy. Smiling so sweetly when she asked him about the animals, she just couldn't take away that feeling from him. She didn't want to bring him down with worry, it might bite her in the ass at the end but she couldn't do it.

Having heard her question, Sheldon was eyeing one of his chips rather methodically and he held it up to her. "Does this look _lightly _salted to you?" He asked and Penny threw her head back with a sigh.

"Sweetie, I don't know." She leaned forward and looked intensely at the chip. Sure she tried to look for salt or lack of salt or whatever. But it was a freaking potato chip, they all look the same unless you're a Whack-a-Doodle. "Yes, that is a very lightly salted chip." She answered and leaned back against the cushion as he _still _sat the chip beside the bowl and grabbed another one. "Now, you didn't answer my question. How was it last night? Did you talk to your mom?"

He checked his watch, there were still ten minutes before his show, Penny knew this. "I suppose you could say we had a _conversation _last night."

"What do you mean, you _suppose?_"

Sheldon sighed. "I was more of the listener then an actual contributor to the exchange."

Penny grimaced. "Was she mad?"

"I believe the word she used was _disappointed, _which was upsetting to hear but then she started going on about how much we had made Jesus cry and I lost a bit of my sincerity."

Taking a heavy breath, Penny laid a hand over her stomach and nodded. "So she's not on board?"

"On the contrary, my mother is very excited about the prospects of _being _a grandmother, she is just upset at the way it is all taking place." Sheldon finished before taking a few bites of popcorn and another drink.

"The marriage thing?" He nodded slowly. "You remember I'm not ready for that right? You're not either, by the way."

Sheldon looked at her with bemusement. "How could you know whether or not I am ready for the commitment of marriage?"

"Alright, let's play a game. Say we get married tomorrow and a year from now our anniversary falls on the exact same day that the comic book store gets… an autographed lightsaber from Harrison Ford."

"Harrison Ford was _not _a Jedi, he never carried a lightsaber." Sheldon corrected, caution rising in his voice at the fire in her eyes.

Penny licked her lips. "Wouldn't that make it even rarer?"

His eyes went wide as saucers. "Oh, good point."

"Yeah," she sighed and continued. "Now, say you could only get that lightsaber on _that _day and you found out about it _after _you and I made plans to go to someplace really nice for dinner, maybe out of town on a short trip. What do you pick, the lightsaber or your first anniversary with your wife?"

There was a long pause that followed and Sheldon stared at her intently. Penny knew he was soaking in all the information. When he started to grin, she matched it and waited. "Are we planning on being married for only the one year?"

"Uh, I don't think so, no."

He nodded arrogantly. "Then the answer is obviously the lightsaber as we will have many more anniversaries to follow, a chance at a Han Solo autographed lightsaber is once in a lifetime, Penny."

"Yeah, you're not ready.' She said quickly, definitively and stood up to toast a few Pop Tarts. Recently she'd been eating blueberry Pop Tarts like it was her damn job.

He was going to argue, but decided against it and continued eating his snacks.

"Do you think your mom will be okay with this eventually?" Penny asked from the kitchen.

Sheldon glanced at her and shrugged. "I suppose if she wishes to spend time with our progeny then she will have to accept the fact that you and I are having a child out of wedlock."

"I think my parents will be easier." She said offhandedly before quickly plucking her snack out of the toaster.

"I would think so as I assume they are not insufferably religious."

Penny laughed softly and returned to her seat. "Not really, no. And my dad has always wanted grandkids and since Abby is nowhere close and Billy—" She froze and felt a weight fall over her. It had only happened a few times since they buried him, but she would say his name from time to time and forget that he was gone.

Sheldon was suddenly very uninterested in his snacks and now watching her like a hawk. "Penny?"

She smiled softly. "It's okay," she offered and patted his knee. She didn't want to ruin his good mood, or hers for that matter. Or take away from his excitement for this show. "My parents will want grandchildren."

"Even though your father was hoping for the less superior model of Leonard to bare your children." He responded in annoyance.

"You'll be fine, Sweetie. My dad will like you."

He peered at her through the corner of his eye. "Penny, does your father have a basic understanding of physics?" She shook her head. "What are his thoughts on comic books?"

"Uh," she stammered. "I don't think he's ever had a thought on comic books."

"Trains?"

She swallowed the bite of her blueberry treat heavily. "He thinks they take too long."

Sheldon bristled. "Yes, we'll get along _fantastically._" His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Sheldon, honey you and I don't have much in common and we get along just fine." Penny reminded, squeezing his shoulder and feeling his muscles relax under her touch.

Oddly enough, he used this action as part of his argument. "That right there is the difference, Penny."

"What?"

"Between you and everyone else I've known… only you make me feel this way." He spoke shyly, as if the words were never really meant to be said at all.

Penny, of course, opted to play dumb and see if she could coax anymore of this out of him. "What way?" She asked innocently.

He sighed resignedly. "I would never change who I am for anyone, you know this." Penny quirked a brow and smiled. She stayed quiet though, letting him continue. "Outside of my MeeMaw however, you are the only person I have met who I've felt isn't silently wishing I were different."

"Oh," yep, the tears were back in full force but they felt really _good. _Like some sort of tension or stress was being melted away in them. Penny rested her head on his arm and sandwiched his hand between hers. "You can drive me absolutely insane sometimes, Sheldon." He stiffened against her. "But I don't want you to change. I fell in love with _you, _not the idea of what I could turn you into."

That was when she felt his hand squeeze her own gently.

"Penny?" He said finally, after about five minutes of silence.

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

He shifted a bit and lightly pushed her away. "The show is starting."


	24. The Blissful Barometer

**The Blissful Barometer**

"Penny, this is necessary."

Lying back into the cushions of the couch, Penny sighed and nodded. "I know, but we just got your family on the plane this morning, wouldn't you rather do something fun with the rest of our day… like… shop?"

"Shop?" Sheldon said with bother. "Penny, are we not here to balance out your finances and figure out how much you can pay of the insurance we will be giving you?"

"Well… yeah but I thought you might want to buy your baby's momma some nice shoes or something." She said with a slight pout, mostly just trying to get a rise out of him.

Sheldon sat down a few of the papers and fired up Penny's laptop where she had written out her current budget and monthly expenses.

"While I am respectful of your current state carrying our child," he started and sent her a sardonic look. "I highly doubt there is a social protocol stating that I must purchase you a gift simply because you are growing."

Penny quirked her brow. "Am I?" She asked, looking down at her belly.

"Are you what?"

"Growing, I mean… can you see it?" She laid her hand over her stomach, Penny saw it sure but no one had actually said anything about it.

A silence fell between them for a moment as Sheldon eyed her body. He tilted his head and squinted a bit, then looked into her eyes. "I suppose I can, yes."

"Really?" She slowly pulled her shirt up, her stomach sticking out just a bit. "It's kinda cute huh?"

"Penny," he started in a condescending tone. "It is the development cycle of the human progeny."

She glared at him. "It's our baby."

"And your point?"

Penny grinned. "Maybe I should paint my belly like Mariah Carey did."

"Why on _earth _would you do something like that?" Sheldon asked incredulously.

Reaching up, she patted his cheek. "Just to make you twitch, Sweetie."

"Can we please focus?" Sheldon finally begged, firing up Penny's laptop where she'd typed out her monthly expenses.

She looked up at him. "Yeah," she sighed and picked up a few papers that were resting on the couch next to her. "Are these the papers you want me to sign?"

"Yes," Sheldon glanced at her for a moment. "Those papers will be filed and with a monthly payment that will be paid between us, we shall have means of which to pay for the expenses of your pregnancy."

"I was looking online and it's like 10,000 dollars to get one of those delivery rooms."

Sheldon nodded and began typing. "Yes, having a child is a tremendous endeavor."

Penny smiled, "So, can you fix it?" She asked, gesturing towards the document of her costs.

"What is… 200 dollars to _Act Now_?" He pointed at the screen.

"My acting classes." Penny said matter-of-factly. Sheldon rolled his eyes and started deleting. "_Hey!_" She cried and pulled his hand from the key. "I need those!"

"For what?" Sheldon challenged.

Her glare at him intensified. "_For acting_."

"When was the last time you had an acting job?"

"I—" she started to answer but suddenly her mind went blank. "Uh, hemorrhoids?"

Sheldon finished deleting. "I rest my case." Penny then let out a loud huff of disappointment and sagged back into the couch. "Penny," he started again.

"No, it's fine—I mean—you're right." She said and noticed him smirking proudly. "Oh don't go writing any songs, It's just that it's kinda over now, you know?"

"I'm afraid your ambiguity is losing me."

Penny sighed heavily and shrugged. "My acting career, or lack of it… it's over now. I've got _nine_ months of growing our baby and taking care of myself. Then there's all the time after it comes where I have to be home and… even then I won't have time to go to a two hour acting class in Hollywood or sit at an audition for four hours just waiting my turn."

"You've sat at auditions for _four _hours?" Sheldon asked as if it were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

"Yeah, you go and you wait with fifty _other_ blonde girls and then you go in and most of the time you can tell when they look at you how it's gonna be. If they eye your body, they're gonna ask you to sleep with them to get the part, if they look at their notes then they're already not interested in you and if they look into your eyes, you have a shot." She smiled mirthlessly. "They're not usually looking into my _eyes_."

He was staring at her, watching as she picked at the drawstring of her sweats and skimming her papers. Lazily, she turned her gaze back to him. "What?" She asked, noticing the sympathy in his eyes, he felt bad that her dream of acting had been such a disappointment.

"Are you going to sign the papers, I have not put any of my own previsions in them, though I wish you would allow me to add something about your constant pilfering of my Mountain Dew."

Rolling her eyes with a true smile, Penny slid over just a little bit closer to him and began to sign her papers.

* * *

Penny and Sheldon had one day between the visits from their parents. Mary, Missy and MeeMaw had left early the previous morning and Penny's parents would be coming in early the following day. So tonight was their day off, tonight was Anything Can Happen Thursday and they had all decided on bowling.

The teams, of course, would be even because Penny was pregnant and still not one hundred percent. She was far and away better than all the others, so tonight was just about everyone having fun and Penny keeping score.

To say the Cooper's visit was a disaster wouldn't be completely inaccurate. Mary Cooper left on very uneasy terms with Penny, in fact the pair hadn't really talked to each other at all but Sheldon said they would be soon. Mary just needed time and Penny was okay with that, she had her own issues to sort out without trying to sway Sheldon's mother to her side right now.

Tomorrow would be better, Penny was nervous about telling her parents but so excited to see them and that they would be around for her big twenty-sixth birthday. No doubt the one she would most remember in her life.

This pregnancy was starting to make everything feel heavier, more important. Like this would be the last August before she became a mother. The last summer before she became a mother, she'd be coming up on her last Thanksgiving and last Christmas before she became a mother.

Penny still very much doubted her mothering abilities. MeeMaw had told her that it was a natural learning process that all first time mothers feared, Penny went on to explain that she failed a silly homework assignment in high school where you're supposed to take care of an egg as a child. She broke hers on the drive home when her boyfriend at the time brought her a bottle of Jack Daniels.

It certainly wasn't _that _version of Penny who was going to be having this baby, but still the worries of failure were there.

The sky was darkening outside her window and Penny knew Sheldon would be knocking on the door any second. She wanted to feel pretty tonight so she'd spent extra time getting ready. A long shower and good amount of work on her hair led to probably forty-five minutes of preparation. She was satisfied though, her dimming blonde locks were bouncing around her shoulders, she had a very light shade of makeup on and her lips were pouty pink.

The Flash was on full display and Penny wore a zip down fleece zipped up at the bottom to hide her subtle belly just a bit. She felt good tonight, she wouldn't be bowling, too much movement would probably make her puke again, but she'd be with her friends and the responsibilities of this pregnancy had caused her to really miss them.

Right on time, the knocking struck her door in threes and Penny smiled at herself in the mirror once more before sashaying towards the door to let him in.

He was dressed the same as ever, dark purple shirt, long sleeved gray one underneath and tonight he brought out the plaid pants.

"Hey you," she said moving aside to let him in.

Sheldon entered slowly and lingered in the doorway. "Good evening, Penny. I apologize for my absence today, I was rather enthralled in my work for the better part of it."

Penny shrugged and started to put on her watch as she slipped her feet into a pair of comfy sneakers. "It's okay, I know you're a busy man." She said with only a slight tease in her voice. She knew Sheldon's work was important to him but really her image of his daily routine was standing in front of a white board writing numbers. And he did that in his spare time at home so really how busy could the guy be?

"Yes well the others have arrived and are currently loitering in our apartment. I would prefer it if we leave before Rajesh and Wolowitz decide to start practicing their bowling form in our living room." Sheldon finished, stepping aside to allow her room to exit.

"Alright," Penny grabbed her purse and brushed past him into the hallway and started for 4A. She didn't bother knocking and opened up to see everyone gathered close to the door and ready to leave. Leonard was whispering something to Amy who had a sweet smile on her face and then laughed softly. Bernadette was picking something off of Howard's new velvet t-shirt and Raj was quietly sipping a beer, no doubt wanting to be social tonight.

"Are we quite ready?" Sheldon asked irritably and drew everyone's attention.

Howard answered. "We've been ready. You're the one who said we had to give Mom here a few extra minutes." He kept his tone light, as he always did now with Penny lest he be banned again. Truth was Howard was constantly bringing up the baby and Penny couldn't help but think that he was a little bit excited about it. Not that she was going to let Howard Wolowitz anywhere near her child for any extended amount of time, it was still nice to see him seeming happy about the idea.

"Let's go!" Penny cried cheerily and led the charge of her friends down the stairs and out the door.

Fifteen minutes and a very intense discussion about what color lightsaber is the best later, and they were at the bowling alley.

All the gang was putting on their shoes, except for Sheldon who had worn his own pair from home.

Penny found her spot at the scoring table and started to enter in their names. Since there were six of them, they were playing three teams of two that would switch off turns. Howard was teaming with Bernadette, Leonard would team with Amy and Sheldon would be paired with a slightly buzzed Raj who was already ordering another drink from the small concession stand.

"Would you care for something to drink?" Sheldon asked, lingering behind her.

"Uh," she finished typing in the second name. "Sure, I'll just have a bottle of water."

"Excellent choice," Sheldon said, pleased but she didn't feel him leave.

Glancing up, she saw him staring oddly at the screen with the names. "What?"

"Have you recently forgotten how to spell?" He pointed to the screen and the combined names she was putting up on the board. Starting with Rajeldon

Penny grinned widely. "I'm putting your names together. Rajeldon, Howardette and Lamy."

Sheldon sighed and Penny didn't have to look up to know that he'd rolled his eyes as well. "You have an uncanny ability to find pleasure in simple things, don't you?"

"It's a gift."

Without another word he was gone to buy her a drink.

That was when the tiny bit of spare room on her seat was invaded and Amy sat down beside her, barely on the plastic seat.

"Hey Bestie," Amy said happily, her gaze on Penny's fingers as she finished typing in the names. "Has your condition been cooperating you're the routine of your daily life?"

Penny sent a quick look of confusion. "What?"

"How are you? I haven't had the chance to speak with you in a while since Sheldon's family was in town. I trust the events of last week went accordingly?"

The blonde sighed softly. "I guess, but I don't think Mrs. Cooper is real happy with me."

Amy scoffed. "Has she recently suffered a puncture wound to her eyes, just seeing you is reason enough to make anyone smile."

"Apparently not the mother of the boy you de-virginized and ended up carrying his baby." Penny tried to sound indifferent, that was the mood she'd kept herself in about the whole thing since the Coopers left yesterday morning. But now, being around Amy and her uncanny way of stripping everything down to the brutal truth, her confidence was waning.

"Would you like for me to write her a vulgar letter?" Amy asked, dead serious.

Penny chuckled softly. "Sweetie, no. Momma Cooper is half crazy, she'd probably just come back down here."

"Oh good, I have only met the woman once but she seems the type to beat someone to death with a large, hardcover bible all the while spouting out verses from it."

"Yeah, if I wasn't carrying her son's baby that might have been what happened."

"Amy?" Another voice called, it was Leonard.

Penny hadn't had much chance to see them together, they were at her place so much and avoiding 4A as it had become baby headquarters.

Subtly (or not so much) Penny watched as Leonard handed Amy her drink and smiled so easily at her that Penny nearly missed it.

They really weren't affectionate, they rarely touched and if it weren't for their sudden need to sit next to each other all the time you would hardly notice they were together.

But that's why Penny knew it was perfect. Both of them were always so desperate to find that kind of relationship that they pushed everything too far. Together, they didn't have too; it was as if they both knew something that the rest of the world didn't. They carried a secret together that neither of them had any desire to share. But it was in their eyes, their smiles and the way they spoke to one another.

When Leonard sat down on one of the stools with his drink he didn't ask Amy to follow, but she patted Penny on the knee and did just that. They sat their feet together and compared shoe colors and sizes and laughed. Penny had never seen Amy laugh so naturally and it was beautiful.

Leonard still had issues with Sheldon and Penny showing any affection, he never said anything or made any sounds of protest, he would merely look away or take up some task in another room. Penny was an affectionate person (much to Sheldon's dismay at times) and she liked the spontaneity of kissing him at random times or holding his hand, even flirting with him physically by sitting on his lap or kicking him when they were sitting together on the couch.

She tried not to do it around Leonard too much, but she was being drawn more and more to Sheldon with each passing day, pretending that everything was still the same from before was nearly impossible now.

By the time Sheldon returned with her water, the game was started and Howard was up first. Bernadette gave him a loud cheer and he grinned like a fool before readying himself.

"Get your notepads out, you're about to see how the pros do it." Howard boasted before taking a few deep breaths and making his approach. The ball rolled steadily to the left, grazing a pin before dumping off into the gutter.

Bernadette cheered. "So close!" she cried and Penny oddly realized how perfect they were for each other.

"You were so close dude," Raj said with a pat on Howard's back and Penny oddly realized how perfect they were for each other.

"You guys are really cute." Penny said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Thanks," the unison voice of Bernadette and Raj made everyone grin but Howard.

Amy burst out into a laugh that Leonard followed in turn while Sheldon shook his head in annoyance.

It was Amy's turn next and as she took her ball and moved to the line, it was clear that she had no idea what she was doing.

"Ames, you gotta put your fingers in the hole." Penny coached, holding up her hand in the proper position.

The brunette smirked. "Look familiar Leonard?" She teased.

Suddenly, a large hotdog that Leonard was happily eating on fell to the floor in a splat as he blushed profusely.

"Good Lord," Sheldon wined and Penny let out a bubbly laugh before standing to go use the bathroom.

After peeing again for the billionth time this month, Penny made her way back into the alley only to be stopped by a rather tall and quite handsome guy. He couldn't have been a day over twenty-two. He wore a bright smile, with little dimples in his cheeks and perfectly combed hair and clothes that cost more than anything in Sheldon and Leonard's wardrobe combined.

"Hey Blondie," he said in a soft voice that matched his grin.

Penny smiled slightly. "Hey," she peered past him just in time to see Sheldon strapping on his wrist brace and hoisting his ball. "Can I—" she was just about to walk past him when he spoke again.

"You wanna come bowl with me and my friends. We'll open up a spot for you on my team." He pointed to his friends who were all trying not to look obvious as they watched him attempting to flirt. Clearly he'd seen her go to the bathroom and took that as his chance to swoop in.

"I'm actually with my friends over there." She said, pointing towards the gang as Raj knocked down about six pins and called up Howard to join him in a celebratory dance. Sheldon started to scold them, though they were too far away to hear what he was saying. Leonard stopped his roommates ranting and Amy stood up for her turn.

The guy laughed a bit too much and nodded. "Right, come on, I'll buy you a beer." He placed his hand on her back and started to lead her away but Penny stopped cold and took a step back. "What?"

"I'm with my friends," she said again and started to walk away.

Clearly, dimples here hadn't been turned down much in his day. "Those guys?"

"Yeah,"

"Why?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "Uh, 'cause they don't smell like a meth cloud of cologne."

That did not sit well. "Oh I get it, you're one of those good girls right? You hang out with the losers cause they're not threatening and you can feel good about yourself."

"Can I go now?"

He shrugged and scoffed. "Whatever, up close you're kinda fat anyways."

Penny let out a snort of laughter. "I'm pregnant, dumbass." She blurted, kinda glad to say it out loud, even if it was to this idiot.

He bit back a smirk. "Seriously, with one of them?"

She pointed to Sheldon who was staring awkwardly at her. "He's cute right?"

"Jesus." The guy mumbled before returning to his friends and indicating that the girl he was trying to hit on was crazy.

Penny laughed and hastily unzipped her jacket and took it off completely, the small pouch of her belly now fully on display. It wasn't obvious, but she was proud to show it off.

They were all watching her when she returned, and obviously had been for some time.

Sheldon was awkwardly sitting on one of the benches and seemed very interested in his bowling shoes.

"Who was that?" Leonard asked, glancing from where she was to where she stood now.

Penny shook her head and sat down. "Some guy, I don't know. Who's winning?"

"That would be the dominate team of Rajeldon!" Raj boasted goofily before pointing at the scoreboard. They were on the seventh frame, and leading with a score of fifty-four.

"Yes, it seems that Sheldon Lee Cooper has once again proven his dominance."

Howard groaned. "Yeah, you _dominate_ things when Penny isn't playing."

"Ha!" Penny teased with a laugh. Sheldon glared at her. "Well he's right."

Amy then sidled up next to Penny on the bench. "I see you are now showing of your tummy like the championship belt of a prize-fighter."

"Yep," Penny said proudly.

"Perhaps we could paint some sort of message or picture on it like celebrities do. Oh!" Amy screamed, making everyone jump. "We could hire someone to paint a photo of you and I together!"

"Dear _Lord_." Sheldon grated.

Penny just laughed, her heart bubbling over with happiness.

Life was good.


	25. The Family Formality - Part Three

**The Family Formality – Part Three**

Today was a good day already, Penny woke up feeling better then she had in weeks and her parents would be here in the afternoon.

She was taking advantage of her burst of energy, Sheldon had told her she might have that from time to time before it would fall back into the overall drab of early pregnancy but for now, she was using her good mood to clean her apartment.

The sounds of Kelly Clarkson's _Stronger_ blasted through her living room as she used her little duster to swipe all her counter tops and anything she could find, occasionally using the handle as a makeshift microphone.

Everything was going so well, this unexpected pregnancy was suddenly the best thing about her life. She woke up every morning and stood in front of her full body mirror once meant for checking the curve of her dresses and used it now to stare at her growing belly. Sheldon was still Sheldon, but he had developed a strange habit of needing her around to start every single night of his routine. They couldn't play Halo until she came home, Vintage Video Game Night wasn't the same unless Penny was adamantly watching him as he played and he had even let her pick the restaurant that would replace Chinese food while she was pregnant.

She catered to his love of Quiznos and made Friday night sub sandwich and Vintage Video Game night. He was quite pleased.

Slowly but surely, the group was accepting that Sheldon Lee Cooper now came with a side of Penny and in a strange way it was making things easier for all of them. Sheldon was still a pain, still anal as ever and had to have his way or the rest of the world suffered. But for the most part he sought out Penny's company more than theirs (and vice versa) and it allowed the guys a bit more freedom to do what they wanted. Though the group was splintering just a bit, with Leonard and Amy's budding romance and Sheldon and Penny's blatant attachment, they still all made sure to get together on certain nights for Sheldon's routine.

All of them were growing up, but making sure to stay close.

Penny was lost in the rhythm of the song and completely missed the sound of her door being opened. She had a grip on the ends of the counter, shaking her butt to the beat and laughing out loud at herself as the song faded.

"Uh," a voice called and Penny jumped in embarrassment. She turned to see Leonard staring at her wide eyed and grinning. "Having fun?"

She blushed. "Oh, just… dusting."

"Right, you're gonna be the fun mom aren't you?" He said, shuffling to her couch and sitting on the arm.

"God, I hope so,"

Leonard laughed. "Paired with Sheldon, you'll have to be the fun one."

"Sheldon can be fun." Penny defended her boy, she found herself doing that a lot, even if it was jokingly as this was. "You just have to know what buttons to push."

Awkwardly, Leonard pushed the glasses up on his face as he cast his eyes to the floor. "Yeah well you haven't been in our apartment recently."

"Oh no… is he on a rampage?" Leonard nodded. "It's not physics related is it? Cause I can't help you there."

"No," Leonard said, standing slowly. "It's not physics… it's you."

"Me?" Penny was genuinely surprised. It was hard for her to believe that Sheldon gave her any extra thought outside of the time he was actually with her. She knew Sheldon was an interior person and that his mind constantly raced of so many things. But she never imagined that a girl would be one of them.

Her friend nodded. "Yeah, and he's driving us all _insane!_"

"But—"

"Just… tell me what you want him to buy you for your birthday so I can suggest it to him and we can stop looking at things on Amazon, _please._"

Penny let out a soft laugh at the image of Sheldon making all the guys pour through Hello Kitty merchandise and shoes. "Sweetie, I can't tell Sheldon what to buy me for my birthday. I didn't expect him to buy me _anything. _You know how weird he is about gift giving."

"Yeah but Howard told him it was social protocol to buy the mother of his child a gift."

She eyed him dubiously. "Howard did _not _say 'mother of his child'… did he?"

"Uh," Leonard stammered. "Well he said you have to buy your baby mama a gift or else she'll start straying on you. Howard seems to think that because you're pregnant that your sex drive is elevated."

"Remind me to kill him later." She said darkly.

Leonard nodded. "Right, now… the gift, please?"

"Sorry Sweetie, if Sheldon's gonna buy me a gift then he's gotta figure it out himself. I like the surprise and he could stand to figure this one out on his own."

"But Penny—"

"Nope, besides he'll leave you alone for a while with my parents coming."

This brought an odd smile to Leonard's face. "True, and your dad always did like me."

Penny sighed. "You're not the one I'm worried about. My dad is… judgmental. If he likes you you're golden, if he doesn't... well."

"You're worried he's going to have a problem with my lunatic roommate?" He asked, watching her shuffle from side to side.

"No, I'm worried he's going to _hate _the guy that knocked up his little girl." She sighed and laid a hand across her stomach. She noticed the look of shyness that passed over Leonard's face. "Could you help him, I mean, my dad liked you.'

"Yeah but I'm not crazy."

She glared at him. "You're not exactly an ex-quarterback."

Leonard laughed with a nod. "I know, but I _can _talk to people without being a neurotic mess. You know I care about Sheldon, God why else would I have put up with him as long as I have... but you can't expect him to become best friends with your dad. Your farm hand, roughneck dad who earned everything he's ever had."

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, suddenly hurt and her good mood ruined. "Why can't you just support us?"

Quickly, Leonard stood and moved close to where she was standing. "Penny, I'm not trying to upset you and I _am _working my ass off to be supportive and understanding and everything but you have to know that Sheldon is not going to connect with your dad, we're still not sure why he connects with you so well!" Penny nodded sadly and let her growing blonde hair fall over her face. "But he does, and you love him and in some way he is falling in love with you too, even if he doesn't understand it. And I know your dad… if he sees how happy you are, if he sees you the way you were when I came in here dancing and singing, without the slutty butt shake," Penny flushed as he chuckled. "He'll be happy for you; just… don't expect him to become best friends with Sheldon."

Smiling at him sweetly, she stepped back and wiped her eyes. "Thanks, I just want it all to be good, you know? I want everyone to get along."

"I still can't believe you're carrying Sheldon's baby." Leonard said, though he held a smirk on his face. "Maybe you were wrong about who the Whack-a-doodle really was." His face then turned extremely grim. "But seriously, what do you want him to buy you?"

* * *

Penny wore the exact same outfit she'd started out with in the bowling alley the day before, different shirt but the same jacket zipped at the bottom to cover her stomach. It wasn't that she was hiding, well she was, but mostly because she wanted to tell them she was pregnant, not have them see it.

She stood at the airport alone, Sheldon was still working and would be home at his normal time but he wasn't going to be deterred from Vintage Video Game Night or his new Quiznos routine so her parents would be dropped right into the crazy, nerdy adventures and get the chance to see exactly what her life had become.

The only hope she had was that they would appreciate it and accept that she belonged here.

Of course, now that she was pregnant, anytime Penny saw a baby or a toddler she felt her heart swell and tears always came to her eyes. She loved the idea, she loved seeing little boys, little girls and their smiles and curiosity to absolutely everything. Her entire world was becoming centered on babies.

When a little boy came passing by her, his hands full with a soft pretzel and his little cup of cheese sauce and a huge grin on his face, Penny started to tear up.

"Pull it together, Penny." She said, mimicking the old mantra Abby used to give her when she was upset. Abby never put up with crying and drama. She had a buck up or shut up attitude that served her well.

Penny still cried when the cat fell down the waterfall in _Homeward Bound_.

The first thing she saw was her dad, his graying hair and flannel t-shirt, jeans lightly stained with dirt from the work he was no doubt doing right before their flight. Her mother was smiling brightly, freshly dyed blonde hair and a bright red shirt with flower print. Seeing them was so different now, after losing her brother Penny felt an odd need to be close to her family, but she had to leave them and come back to Sheldon. She was torn between two wants and so happy for this week to have them put together.

She was suddenly nervous of her stomach and laid her hands to rest over it slightly, smiling much to bright as her dad's eyes met hers.

"Hey, Slugger!" He called out and started to move faster. Penny moved up to him just as he dropped his bags and pulled her in close. "Look at you," he said, pulling back and staring into her eyes. "Missed you honey."

Penny gave a watery smile. "Missed you too, Dad."

"Alright, don't hog her," Kathleen said, all but shoving Wyatt out of the way and pulling her slightly taller daughter down to kiss her cheek. "You're so tan, you must live at the beach."

"You get this just from walking down the street, Mom."

Her mother snorted. "Yeah well all we get on the farm is rotting cow carcasses cause the damn heat is cookin' em."

The bile threatened to lurch up Penny's throat. She had been battling her morning sickness all day. It had to be going away soon… right?

After gathering their things and getting their bag from the baggage claim, Penny led them to her car and felt like a jerk as she stood there and watched her father loading the bags into the trunk without offering any help. Her dad's body was old and tired, he wasn't nearly as strong as he used to be but he would _never _ask for help.

Penny was usually there trying to push him out of the way and do these things for him. Now, she couldn't lift heavy things, Sheldon had berated her about that when he caught her trying to move one of her end tables to the other side of her bed.

As she climbed into the car and her mother moved into the passenger seat next to her, Penny looked over and smiled.

Kathleen stared at her daughter, eyeing her face for a moment before reaching across to touch her cheek. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked, worried.

"Yeah, it's just hot," which was true, the temperature was in the mid-nineties. But really Penny was now fighting a bit of a stomach cramp and the nerves of the situation were actually starting to catch up with her.

The ride home was nice enough, her mother kept watching her but for the most part Penny just sat in silence and listened to stories about the farm. She heard about Abby's horrible marriage and how much she was dealing with. Apparently her husband accused her of cheating and they had a big fight where Dad woke up one morning to find Abby sleeping in her diesel pickup in the driveway. Wyatt offered her a place to stay but Abby, stubbornly, declined and went home to try and patch up her marriage.

Abby's husband was an idiot, absolutely no threat to her, if there's one thing about Abigail that everyone knew, you do _not _mess with her. Don't even try and hit her, she had a boyfriend who did that once and he ended up in the hospital with a fractured pelvis.

She rolled over him with a riding lawnmower.

That didn't stop Penny from worrying about her sister, they weren't exactly close but it was still her sister.

By the time they turned onto the road for Los Robles, Penny was letting her mind race with the what, where and when of how to go about telling them she was pregnant. She thought about just taking off her jacket, lifting her shirt up a bit and seeing if they figured it out.

Yeah, her dad would _love _that.

She was going to have to say it, the words the emotions and the heart of it all. She wanted her parents to see that she was happy about it, hope that maybe her happiness would bleed over to them. She knew that Sheldon needed to be there, they needed to see how important this was to him. That she hadn't just met some random guy and was having his baby. No, she knew the father, she _loved _the father. 

It was a quarter to four when they finally made it to her apartment. Sheldon would be home in about twenty minutes and he knew to come knocking on her apartment door. His plan, of course, was to get past all of this explaining in time to make the trip to the video store for his game, then hit Quiznos and have his perfect little schedule fall into place.

Penny wasn't nearly as hopeful of this happening. If her parents freaked out, they would have to spend the rest of the night explaining themselves, their actions and their future.

She knew she wasn't being a great host as the made their way into her apartment. It was her mother's first visit and she was asking a billion questions that Penny was barely able to answer.

"So, that apartment across the hall is that where those boys of yours live?" Kathleen asked innocently enough, clearly wanting to divulge into Penny's attraction to Sheldon. The same boy she'd told her mother she loved the last time she saw her.

"Yeah," Penny answered easily. "Leonard and Sheldon, but the others are always over there too."

Wyatt spoke up. "I liked that Leonard, he was a good man. A little squirrely but those are the ones you can trust. How are you and him gettin' along, Penny?"

The blonde went wide eyed for a moment. "Fine, friends…"

"I told you Wyatt that she has feelings for that other one. Sheldon right?" Kathleen said, making her daughter blush and oddly cross her arms over her stomach.

"Y—Yeah that's the one, I—I've got a thing going with him."

Her father eyed her suspiciously. "Is he a doctor too?" Penny nodded. "Like Leonard then, one of those really smart doctors?"

Penny shrugged. "Kinda, I mean Sheldon is a theoretical physicist and Leonard is an experimental. They work _together _but not doing the same stuff. Sheldon is smarter, I think, but Leonard is more…"

"Sane?" Kathleen said with a giddy little smile. "Penny says this boy of hers is just packed full of wonderful crazy."

"Mom, he's not crazy,"

Her mother raised her hands up in defense. "I'm not condemning him dear. I have never pictured you with a normal guy, one of those big muscly idiots you used to run around town with. No you needed some crazy to fight back your own damn lunacy."

"What?" Penny cried. "I'm not crazy, Mom." She looked at her dad for backup, he was shaking his head with a chuckle. "You think I'm crazy?"

Wyatt laughed harder. "Honey you've never been normal, I think that's what Kathleen is trying to say. Your motor is always running and you never sit still. I don't know much about anyone else's kids but I do know that you're the only sixteen year old girl I've ever known who would get up at four in the morning, help me with all the farm work and then spend the next three hours in your room getting ready for school only to completely ruin all of the work on your makeup and hair just to help me again when one of the cows got stuck in the milking machine."

"That's not crazy," Penny defended. "We were all raised to help on the farm whenever we needed too."

Kathleen grinned. "Hon, your sister stopped helping when she was eleven."

"Well yeah cause one of the chickens pecked a hole in her hand." Penny said slowly, her mind drifting back to that day and the scream of horror Abby had wailed.

"Penn?" It was her dad. "You broke three ribs when that horse kicked you, missed that big dance you had been looking forward too and _still _worried more about whether or not I was going to put the damn horse down."

Penny looked down. "Carson didn't mean it, he just got spooked and you didn't put him down."

"Of course I didn't, Slugger. You asked me not too and I can't say no to you." Wyatt smiled at his daughter. "But still, we had other kids," his voice was soft for a moment, though Billy wasn't brought up directly, his presence lingered in the statement. "We have friends who run their own farms and have kids and none of them are like you. You're unique, you've got a huge heart and you are crazy. But my mom always used to say that if a person isn't crazy then they're just boring."

_Knock, knock, knock…_

"Penny?"

She watched as her parents turned to the door. "Well then this should be fun." She moved to the door and stood in front of it, listening as the knocks continued.

"Are you going to answer—" Her mother started.

"Not yet." Penny said with a shake of her head as he finished his third round of knocking.

Glancing back one more time at the expectant eyes of her parents, Penny opened the door and there stood Sheldon. He was still carrying his bag, still wearing his shoes and looking oddly shy as he felt three pairs of eyes on him.

"Hey you," Penny said sweetly, hoping to draw him out a little.

Sheldon smiled at her meekly. "Hello."

Penny stepped aside and touched the back of his arm to guide him inside. "Mom, Dad… this is Sheldon."

"Hey Sheldon!" Kathleen chirped and moved in to give him a hug. Sheldon took a step back and merely extended his hand. "Oh," Penny's mother smiled awkwardly and accepted the handshake.

"Hello." Sheldon chorused again. He eyed Penny's dad eerily, the older man was leering at him.

Ready to dissolve the discomfort, Penny smiled brightly. "Sheldon's a little uneasy about touching, it's nothing personal." However, her statement was made useless a moment later.

"You're touching him," Wyatt stated flatly and Penny looked to see that she was still holding onto his arm.

Sheldon sighed. "Yes, Penny has a very strict policy on ignoring my demands for cleanliness and personal space." Penny looked up at him wide eyed. He glared at her a bit. "Well you do, you're constantly touching me."

"Well," Kathleen looked to her husband for a moment, her cheeks reddening. "You two make a cute couple."

"We're not really—" Penny swatted Sheldon's arm to stop him from talking. "Penny!"

She sighed, desperate to lay all her cards on the table. She hated dancing around anything, life wasn't mean to be treaded lightly. Penny closed her eyes and held onto Sheldon a little bit tighter. "Okay, Mom… Dad, I have to tell you something." When she opened her eyes, her parents were looking at her with perplexed worry, still oddly shifting their gazes from Penny to her crazy doctor. "We're pregnant."

No need for formalities.

Sheldon went completely rigid against her.

"What…" her mother whispered, looking back to Wyatt for his response. He was just standing still, a blank look on his face as his gaze turned from Sheldon to his daughter.

A few minutes passed in silence and Penny felt herself going insane. "Well?" She asked, expectantly. "Talk to me, please. Yell at me or… something, just tell me how you feel." Tears were forming in her eyes, the entire moment overwhelming her.

Sheldon still hadn't moved a muscle under her touch.

Kathleen let out a long and ragged breath before burying her face in her hands. When she looked back up, she was smiling, Penny started to cry.

"We're gonna have a grandchild?" She asked, her own voice breaking. Penny nodded. "Did you hear that, Wyatt?" Again he was stoic, his eyes however looked away from his daughter and to the floor, he was lost in thought.

Penny didn't have time to wonder about her father's response because Kathleen was gathering her daughter into her arms and Penny let herself get lost in that feeling.

Pulling away, Kathleen held her daughter by the shoulders. Both of them were crying, Sheldon was shifting awkwardly, uncomfortable at the sight of Penny's tears, happy or not.

"This is amazing, a gift." The older woman looked back to her husband. "Wyatt, can you believe it?"

Finally, he looked to his daughter again. "Where are the keys to your car, Penny?" He asked, his tone bring back memories of the day she told him she was moving to California.

Penny noticeably paled. "Uh… in the bowl by the door." She sniffled a bit. "Why?"

"We need to go for a ride." He said, walking past her towards her key bowl.

Going for a _ride _with her father was one of Penny's least favorite things growing up. It always meant that he had something important to say. Her dad was not a good face to face talker, he hated bringing up anything serious or important. He could sit in a chair all day and talk about football or the farm or how much he hated the current president (no matter who it was). But if he ever needed to talk about something meaningful, he had to be driving, he had to be focused on something else and then he could go there.

Looking to Sheldon, who was visibly concerned, Penny smiled gently. "I'll be back, okay? Keep my mom entertained."

"Wyatt, is this really necessary?" Kathleen asked desperately.

Wyatt looked at her with stubborn eyes. "We'll be back, I just need to…" his sentence lingered there and he guided Penny out the door.

They rode down the elevator in silence, climbed into the car in silence and made their way down Colorado Boulevard in silence. After what felt like an absolute eternity and Penny having gone through every possible scenario of what he might say first, he spoke to her.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked, not looking at her as they turned onto another road. Her dad always had an amazing sense of direction. He was going places he'd never been before in a city that was foreign to him, but he'd find his way back.

She sighed. "I'm getting there."

"Do you have any idea—"

"Dad, I'm not sixteen, I can _do _this." Penny pleaded, she truly believe that. She had doubts about herself, sure, but she knew in her heart that she could be a mother. "I want to have this baby."

"This boy,"

"Sheldon."

Wyatt gave her a quick glance. "_Sheldon, _he's not going to run away, is he?"

Penny shook her head vigorously. "No, absolutely not. He has been so great to me through all of this, he's helping me with things and… no dad, he's not going anywhere."

"You two should be married." He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Penny groaned in frustration. "_No!_" She cried. "We are not ready to get married, Dad. We're not even close."

"Penny," he started in a tone that sounded oddly familiar to Sheldon. "You are having a baby together, you can't get much closer than that!"

"I _love _Sheldon, Dad… but we can't get married. I know we're not ready for that and I don't want to risk what he and I have." She was crying again and could tell by the fidgeting he was doing behind the wheel that it was bothering him. Reaching across the space between them, she grabbed his forearm. "Daddy?"

"It's not right, Penny." He returned weakly.

She shook her head with a sweet smile. "It's not going to make us love this baby any less."

Pulling into the parking lot of a department store, he put the car in park and let out a long, heavy breath. "So… you're really pregnant?" He asked with the tiniest of smiles threatening on his lips.

Tears streaked down Penny's cheeks. "Yep," she lifted her shirt just a bit, her belly peeking through. "I figured we could use a new member of the family."

"Yeah," he said sadly, reaching out to touch Penny's cheek. "You think that boy will be a good father?"

"Absolutely," Penny answered quickly, easily. "I really do love him."

Wyatt nodded. "I need to talk to him."

"I know, just… go easy on him okay? He's not like other boys I've dated."

Her father laughed sharply. "Thank heavens for that."

"_Dad!" _Penny cried, swatting his arm.

There was silence between them for a moment, he was staring at her dashboard in deliberate thought. "Penny?" He said a minute or so later.

"Yeah?"

"The check engine light is on, that usually means you should check your engine." He said in a frustrated voice, pointing at the offending light.

Penny buried her face in her hands. "Oh _God._"


	26. The Family Formality - Part Four

**The Family Formality – Part Four**

The soft buzzing of a cellphone drew Penny from her sleep. She opened her eyes to the distant light of the barely awake sun and rolled towards her nightstand where the phone finished it's long alert and finally went quiet.

She reached for her phone, clicking the button on the side and seeing a new missed call and a voicemail.

Penny expected quite a few calls today, it was her birthday.

As the word passed through her mind, Penny couldn't help but picture a child's birthday party. The kind of party that she would be arranging for her baby as she grew up. With bouncy castles and trips to those annoying kids restaurants that always smell like week old pizza. The idea made her smile, hell it almost made her cry because she was so ready to have her baby here and it was only the second month.

Dialing her voicemail, Penny pulled her covers up just a bit more and listened.

"Happy Birthday!" It was Amy, Penny's smile immediately grew. "Can you believe that on this day twenty-six years ago that a saucy little girl from Nebraska came into this world full of fight and vigor and now that beautiful starlet is my best friend in the whole wide world?" Comments like that didn't even sound odd in Penny's head anymore. Amy _was _her best friend. "I can't wait to meet your parents today and celebrate with you. I've already spoken with Sheldon of what's expected of him, as your child's sperm benefactor, in granting you those slutty birthday wishes. Love you!"

A bubbly laugh fell from her lips as she hung up the phone and sat up. She felt pretty good this morning, the sickness would most likely come later but for now she was in good shape.

Standing up, she moved almost immediately to her full sized mirror and lifted her shirt up just over her growing belly and stared at it. She loved her bump, it made her smile with hope for the future of her life. There was no greater test of responsibility than what this little bump represented.

What was better was that her parents seemed on board with it. Sure they were thrown off by the details, no marriage, an undefined relationship and the fact that Sheldon was clearly a little crazy, but still they appeared happy.

"Who are you going to be?" She asked into the air and gently ran her hand over the skin. "Are you going to be a cheerleader?" Penny turned to the other side, for no real reason other than a different angle. "Or maybe a beautiful mind like your daddy? Only… less plaid," Even though she laughed at the idea, Penny couldn't imagine Sheldon wearing jeans and a hoodie. No, he was meant for his superhero t-shirts and plaid pants. She fell in love with those too. "Whatever you are, your momma is gonna love you." Every time she said it, or if anyone said it out loud, that she was going to be a mother, warmth spread through her entire body.

Penny heard the key fitting into the lock and knew immediately that it was Sheldon. She had told him to come over fairly early today, she wanted some alone time with him before they were bombarded with their friends and her parents and the rigors of the day. She had thankfully gotten her birthday off but was forced to switch a shift with _Bryan _in order to get it. An act she would probably regret later.

When he made his way inside, Penny leaned against the frame of her bedroom door and smiled at him. He carried with him a small, brown bag and immediately found her watching him.

"Hello," he offered blandly.

She grinned wider. "Hey you," Penny moved towards him. "What'cha got there?"

Sheldon eyed her, a bit annoyed. "What do I _have _here?"

"You know, your mother has pretty bad grammar but I never hear you correcting her." Penny challenged, trying to hide her smirk.

"Yes well… it is only right to respect your mother." Sheldon returned.

Penny tilted her head to the side. "But.. It's okay to basically call the woman you're having a baby with a slack jawed yokel?"

"Penny," he started, clearly annoyed. "I have never, and can promise you, will never use the term 'slack jawed yokel'. I'm not a Nebraskan hillbilly."

"You know there's a chance your kid could be a lil' bit of a slang talker like his momma." She said in a nonchalant tone.

Sheldon gasped, "I'd like to think that my genes can handily outsmart yours into the mind of our child."

"Well while your jeans are trying to win with your genius stuff, my genes are half drunk and ready to fight and we both know who would win in a fist fight between you and me."

"Yes," Sheldon glared at her. "It always comes down to violence for you corn fed folk."

Penny laughed. "You know, you always talk about where I'm from but you grew up further south than I did."

"Yes, and I fought against every bit of influence that my father tried to bestow on me."

At the mention of Sheldon's dad, her entire want to bicker with him went away. All she could see was little Shelly being ignored by his dad when he tried to show him some big science project he'd made. Taking a breath, she brought out her best smile.

"Back to my original question. What do you _have _there?"

Sheldon lifted his bag.

"I was told by Amy, Leonard and Howard that I was to purchase you a gift for your birthday." He stopped for a moment but Penny remained silent, watching him in silent wonder. "Oh that note I wish to convey my hopes that you have a day that consists of continuous elation and unwavering platitudes."

"What?" Penny asked, her face now blank.

He sighed. "I wish you a happy birthday."

"Thank you!" She beamed and took a step towards him. "When do I get my birthday kiss?"

"Oh yes," Sheldon sat his bag down on the couch. "I was informed of the kiss from Howard, though he suggested I give offer you other things for your birthday."

Penny rolled her eyes. "You really need to stop going to Howard for advice on this stuff."

He took a step towards her. "I do not _seek_ out Wolowitz for these things, he is constantly around, spreading his recommendation on _every _matter."

"Ah," Penny nodded before standing on her tiptoes and mashing her lips together with his. Sheldon was getting better at the kissing, he wouldn't stand with his hands behind his back anymore. Touching Penny was not something he was afraid of, he would lay his hands on her hips, sometimes on her back and on a special day, like today, he could cup her cheeks with them and use the pads of his thumbs to stroke her cheeks.

When they broke apart, Penny was slightly flushed and smiling. It had been a _damn _good kiss. "Hmmm," she hummed happily. "What's in the bag?" She asked, moving to grab it but Sheldon snatched it up first.

"This is your gift. Social protocol dictated that I was to purchase you a gift, another area where I feel Wolowitz was not the best person to gain advice from."

Slowly the pair started to move towards the kitchen. Well, Penny was moving towards the kitchen (Sheldon was merely following her) to pour herself a glass of orange juice. It had become her morning coffee replacement and though it sucked at waking her up, she just needed to drink _something_.

"And what did _Mr_. _Wolowitz_ suggest that you purchase your child's mother for her birthday?" Penny asked, her head buried in the fridge.

Sheldon sat down on one of the stools and put his bag on the seat next to him. "Some form of skimpy undergarment or something known as _crotch-less _panties… which seemed oddly efficient to me, especially considering how often you urinate."

"Oh _Jesus!_ Sheldon those aren't for…" Penny took a deep breath and laughed softly to herself before taking a drink straight from the jug of juice. She finished with a smack of her lips and a glare from Sheldon at her, most likely, barbaric approach to juice drinking. "You know what, I don't see crotch-less panties ever coming up in our conversations again so I'll just let you Google it."

"I have better things to do on the internet then look up women's undergarments, though I scanned a few pairs when I was considering purchasing you something from Victoria's Secret per Leonard's suggestion."

"Victoria's Secret sells crotch-less panties? Kinda giving the secret away aren't they?"

"Penny," Sheldon sighed in exhaustion. "The panties I was looking at were not crotch-less, though they were lacking in fabric. Leonard said you wore those as well."

"Leonard?" Penny asked, a bit surprised that Leonard would suggest to his roommate that he should buy his ex-girlfriend some skimpy panties.

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure he was just tossing out whatever came into his mind first. Much like he does at work."

"Okay so no panties?"

"No," Sheldon said tiredly, still clutching his bag.

"Then what'd you get me? I heard you were driving the guys kinda nuts with all this."

He nodded slightly, "I was surprised at how useless they all turned out to be when I approached them for help in buying a gift for someone they all consider as their friend."

"It's not that they don't know what to buy me, it's just that you and I are kinda… past the basics of gift giving… I mean," she patted her belly. "We're not exactly _friends_ anymore." He nodded again but said nothing and a silence fell over them for a moment as Penny sat down beside him. "So what'd you get me?" She asked again with a grin.

Sighing, Sheldon reached into his bag and pulled out two of the tiniest pieces of clothing Penny had ever seen. They were soft, one red and the other pink. He laid them out on the table in front of her and began to unfold them.

They were baby outfits, so tiny and sweet. Penny felt her eyes welling up at the sight of them. The first was red and had the symbol of the Flash emblazoned across it and the other was a soft pink with Hello Kitty staring back at her.

"Since we are currently unaware of the sex of our progeny I figured it best to purchase one for either occasion." He slid them slowly in Penny's direction. "Though I would not protest our potential daughter proudly wearing the symbol of the Fastest Man Alive."

"Oh Sheldon," Penny's eyes were welling up already. It didn't take much these days to make her cry. Damn hormones. Sheldon had stopped watching the nature channel when Penny was around when a show featuring the death of a baby lion cub had her sobbing in the bathroom for an hour. "These are so sweet! And so… tiny," she sighed and picked up both pieces of clothing. "Our little baby is gonna be in these soon."

"Yes," Sheldon said softly. "They will most likely be stained, babies have a high tendency to excrete fluid from all the various parts of their body." Penny looked at him with confusion, wiping at a tear on her cheek. "Baby's poop and puke."

With a content smile, Penny nodded and sat down her gifts.

"Thank you, honey." She whispered before pressing her lips gently against his. Sheldon sat very still, but he was always ready to kiss her back now. His mouth opened slightly and Penny dived right in. Their tongues clashing together as her fingertips grazed against his cheeks. She knew he liked the softness of the touch, the way he let out a soft sigh into her mouth. Pulling back, she looked into his eyes, warm and happy. These were the subtle moments that Penny enjoyed _so _much. "So… is this the whole gift?" She asked with a smirk.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her. "I had nothing else planned. Was there a part of the social protocol that I've missed?"

"No," she grinned. "But we aren't supposed to pick up my parents for another hour and a half. We could always do a little something else to… you know… celebrate.

He sighed. "I'm going to have to take my clothes off again, aren't I?"

"Well, _I'm _going to take a shower, I'll leave the curtain open if you wanna join me." She said, kissing him again quickly before standing up and sauntering towards her bedroom.

"If I _want _to join you." He corrected, though the smirk he wore made her grin like a fool.

"Yep, if you _want _me, you'll have to come and get me."

"What exactly are the parameters that you are expecting in this endeavor?" He asked, already following her.

Penny smiled. "Just some kissing, some hands stuff and maybe a little soapy goodness."

"Very well, but if you could please keep the water at an acceptable temperature as your need for the overwhelmingly hot turns my chest a very bright shade of red." Sheldon said as he was slipping his shirts off.

"That's because you're so pale, Honey. You really should get some more sun, you look like a ghost! I could take you to the beach." She said, already bare and turning on the water.

Sheldon began to fold his pants and set them on her closed toilet seat. "Penny, I have no desire to be subjugated to the possibility of skin melanoma."

When he turned around after finishing the task of undressing, Penny was standing under the water and smiling at him.

"Water's ready, Casper."

* * *

Penny stared blankly into the plate of salad in front of her as the laughter fluttered all around. She was blushing red, her body wracked with embarrassment as her parents began to tell the tale of her first banishment at a local Chili's restaurant in Omaha.

"Why did you set the curtains on fire?" Leonard asked, a chuckle in his throat.

"Apparently, coming into the place drunk, with the driver's license that had a picture of your brother on it doesn't get you many drinks." Her mom answered, looking at her daughter with a wry smile. "I don't understand why you ever thought that would work?"

"Penny greatly overestimates her intelligence whenever she's intoxicated." Sheldon said, drawing the eyes of the girl next to him. He wasn't looking at her, just poking at his salad and fidgeting in the dress shirt he'd been coerced into wearing by the guys for Penny's birthday.

He looked very nice, and had been very sweet to her all day. Opening doors for her and pulling out her chair (he wiped it down vigorously with a napkin, his own too and was yelled at when he tried to do the same to Leonard's).

Everyone had come out, Raj was here and had chosen to be sober tonight which kept him out of the conversation but he was smiling and laughing with everyone. Howard and Bernadette sat next to Amy and Leonard, though the former of the couples was clearly not having the best of nights and had obviously been fighting before showing up because they were sitting as far apart from each other as they could without being pressed up against the person opposite them. Then there was Penny's parents, her mother in a dress and her dad in his best button down flannel t-shirt and a clean pair of jeans.

"Sheldon greatly overestimates his intelligence all the time." Penny finally countered, earning her glare that granted him a sweet smile in return. "Hey you," she teased and Sheldon sighed before returning to his meal.

"So Penny, you never told us how you and Sheldon first met." Her mother started, eyeing her expectantly. "I mean, I know he was your neighbor but when did ya'll start talking?"

A smile painted across Penny's face. She would always remember that day. How scared she was being alone for the first time in her life and how perfect everything fell into place when she first met the boys across the hall.

"Well the first thing I'll ever remember hearing Sheldon tell me was that I was sitting in his spot."

"You have your own spot?" Her dad asked.

Everyone groaned.

"Here was go." Howard said quietly while Sheldon cleared his throat.

"Yes—"

"Me too!" Wyatt interrupted. "Kathleen doesn't understand it but she's always gotta have the frickin' blinds open in the living room and it's the only chair in the house that doesn't have a glare on the damn TV!" Penny watched as her mother glared at him. "Well it's true, if you'd let me close those blinds."

"Oh good Lord, Wyatt if it was up to you we'd be sitting in the dark like vampires."

Her dad grinned. Penny was surprised at how well they were getting along. "Well I bet Dracula never has to worry about glare on his TV."

"Then I saw his whiteboard and couldn't believe it. Leonard too." She said, giving him a slight smile. He didn't even seem to be paying attention, Amy was whispering to him as they both poked around at the peas in her salad with their forks. "It was amazing."

"His what?" Kathleen questioned with a furrowed brow.

"The boards in which I do my work at home. My job as a Theoretical Physicist is never ending. A breakthrough can occur at any moment and it is always pertinent to be prepared." He said a bit condescendingly, as if his job was the single greatest line of work this world had ever known. Penny had worried that he might say something to upset her parents but they were being extremely patient with him, always smiling.

"Sheldon," Amy began, though she never looked up from her plate. "Your line of work has not had a major breakthrough in almost eighty years. For all intents and purposes you might as well be working to better the design of toilet paper. Which, as we all know, is pointless because you simply cannot improve toilet paper."

He leveled a deadly glare on her that actually made Penny worry he might jump across the table or, at least, stand up and storm out. She laid a soft hand on his arm and drew his eyes. Amy hadn't even given him a second look before returning to whatever silly game she was playing with Leonard.

"Right now, Sheldon is working on possible models of the cold dark matter in the universe and their experimental signals." Penny rambled out easily and suddenly everyone was looking at her. She smiled with a shrug. "I don't know what it means but he seems pretty excited about it."

Though everyone was staring at her, Penny only cared about the look she was getting from Sheldon. His lips were pursed and his hands were still, but his eyes were thankful and almost happy. He clearly appreciated the fact that Penny had come to the defense of his work. Even if she knew nothing about it, she knew it mattered to him.

The rest of the night went incredibly well, with everyone laughing and singing happy birthday to Penny.

She silently wished for a healthy baby when she blew out her candles, the most selfless wish she'd ever made.

The best wish she'd ever made.

* * *

As good as it had been to be with her friends and family for her birthday dinner, something in Penny's meal was not sitting well. She was resting on the couch with her head lolled back on the cushions. Her stomach twisting in knots and cramping so bad it was hard to move. Her parents had been reluctant to leave but Penny insisted that she would be okay. They were going to be taking a cab up to see her early in the morning and be leaving back for Omaha on the afternoon flight.

For the most part, everything had gone exceptionally well with them. They were supportive, if not a bit leery of their youngest daughter having a child so unconventionally. They seemed to like Sheldon, even if they struggled to understand him. His manner towards her was clearly a big selling point as her father told her that he was a good man with a good amount of crazy. Penny took that as a ringing endorsement. Her mother was infatuated with him, he was just quirky enough that Kathleen could find all the good things about him. Sheldon mentioned something about wanting good oatmeal cookies and Penny's mother happily shared her recipe with him (the same recipe that she once threatened to divorce her father for if he ever gave it away, everyone was _pretty _sure she was kidding).

The gang was adjusting well enough, they still earned odd looks whenever they were affectionate towards one another and Leonard had taken to almost ignoring them completely when they were in the same room. If he met Penny in the hall he was as sweet as ever and Sheldon had said things were mostly back to normal when she wasn't around. But if the three of them were together, he was distant but accepting.

Penny figured that was Leonard's way of adjusting, she was willing to give him time for that. Plus he was constantly enthralled in his secret little world with Amy Farrah Fowler.

Whatever was on TV clearly had all of Sheldon's attention. It was some kind of show about Dinosaurs, they kept showing bones and placing them with animated pictures of cheesy looking Jurassic Park knock offs.

She didn't really care what the show was, whatever it was had kept Sheldon on her couch and right now Penny was happy to use him as her pillow. She felt terrible, her chest hurt to match the bubbling in her stomach and her eyes were heavy with exhaustion. The better part of the night had been spent running from the bathroom to the couch and Sheldon was worried each time she raced off.

The strangest thing was how affectionate he was being, it wasn't much really, but to Penny it was a big deal. He'd held her hand most of the way through dinner and was still lazily brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. Sure it was completely undefined, but they were a couple without a label and it was the easiest relationship Penny had ever been in. Things hadn't changed that much, Sheldon could still drive her absolutely crazy and Penny knew she could do the same thing to him, but these moments were new. The closeness and the quiet, that feeling of effortless emotion. Nothing about this was forced; she didn't have to strike up conversations to make everything feel like it was working.

She could sit here pressed up against him, watching a lame show about Dinosaurs and know that her relationship was working.

"I think I'm having heat stroke," Sheldon said, panting just a bit.

"What?" Penny asked, pulled out of her haze.

"You are creating an intense perimeter of heat as the temperature of an August night combined with your close proximity are distressing, Penny." Sheldon said above her, shifting just a bit.

Penny pulled away from him and nodded. "I know, it's hot and I'm all sweaty from the stomach ache."

"Are you experiencing the onset of vomiting or diarrhea?" He asked cautiously, pulling away slightly.

"_God _no," she cringed. "I mean my stomach hurts but I think it's all staying in there." Sheldon nodded before checking his watch. "Going somewhere?" She questioned with a frown.

"It is past my usual bedtime. However I am uncomfortable with the idea of leaving you in this apartment alone." His words were sweet, even if his tone sounded like he was being completely put out by the emotions of worry. "Would you be willing to leave the webcam of your computer on and set it up next your bed? I would leave mine on and—"

"Sweetie," she cut him off. "Why don't you go get ready and just come back here?"

"Penny," he started, condescension lacing every word. "I am not about to make you sleep on the couch."

She glared at him, poking him in the stomach with a pointed finger. "I'm not suggesting I sleep on the couch you _dingbat_. I'm saying _we_ could sleep in my bed, it's a little bigger than yours and you liked it the last time you slept in it."

"I had no other choice, Penny. I'd locked myself out of my apartment."

"That's not the point!" She said, a bit louder then she'd intended.

"Penny you snore rather intensely."

"No I don't," she defended, really she didn't think she did. Sheldon had mentioned it once but Leonard never said anything. Though she was starting to learn that Leonard went out of his way _not _to bring up anything that might upset her. A quality Sheldon did not have, a quality she kind of liked. "Look," she calmed. "Just… go do whatever it is you do before you go to bed, bring your Saturday pajamas and we'll give it a shot, okay?"

Sheldon sent a tired glance at her bedroom door and then back to the exit of her apartment before finally looking into her eyes with a short nod. "Very well. A wise man once said: there can be no progress without the process of experimentation." He stated while standing.

"Who said that?" Penny asked, following him up.

"I did."

"No," she stammered. "I mean, I know you did but what great man said it first? Who are you quoting?"

He looked at her with derision. "Me."

Again she glared at him, her eyes narrowing tightly. "Go. Get. Ready!" He matched her glare and left Penny standing in her apartment with a big smile on her face.

The next ten minutes were spent brushing her teeth and lingering over the toilet in fear. Nothing happened and her stomach was a bit calmer by the time Sheldon returned, offering soft knocks on her closed bedroom door.

Penny opened the door to find him standing in a pair of green PJ's, his eyes unsure but he smiled curtly before stepping in on her invite.

"Do you have a side of the bed?" Penny asked, pulling down the covers.

"No, I sleep in the middle." Sheldon said, pointing to the center.

"Yeah well… that's not really gonna work now cause I'm not really petite and this you're no homunculus."

He smirked at her. "Very good,"

"Thank you," Penny beamed goofily.

Moving around her bed a bit, Sheldon eyed the bedding intensely. "When was the last time you had your sheets cleaned?" He asked, looking up at her.

"Sheldon," Penny sighed. "These are brand new sheets, okay? I just took them out of the package this morning."

He shrugged, satisfied. "Well then this is one of those instances that people unfamiliar with large numbers would call a coincidence."

"Not really, Honey. I know you're crazy, okay? Of course I was going to change the sheets for you." She said, lying down and not waiting for him to dictate his side of the bed.

As she settled into the softness of her mattress, Penny looked up to see him watching her.

"What?"

He sent her a dubious look. "I had specified no predetermined intention of sleeping in your bed this evening, Penny. How would you have possibly known to put on new sheets?"

"Oh," she grinned slightly. "Well it _is _my birthday. I thought I might coax you in here on some kind of social, sexy gift giving convention."

"So you did not plan on keeping your sheets clean for very long?" He asked, still standing above her.

Penny shook her head slowly. "Guess not but that's not gonna happen tonight with how I feel so… you're safe."

"Oh good," he sighed in absolute relief.

A smile painted across Penny's face as she slid over and finally felt him crawling in beside her.

Sheldon lay flat on his back, his hands folded over his stomach while Penny pulled the blankets up over them.

"Good?" She asked, watching him.

He nodded slightly. "So far." Penny smiled just a bit before gently cuddling up against him, her head resting on his chest ever so slightly. "Your hair," he mumbled before reaching up and plucking a few stray pieces out of his mouth.

Penny was ready to apologize when she realized that he held her hair between his fingers, gently running his fingers through it.

Yeah, he was good.

"Sheldon?" She asked into the darkness a few minutes later.

"Penny?"

"Have you thought about what our baby might be like?" She swallowed heavily and stared sharply into the spot where the lights outside her window were illuminating her closet door.

"Other than the potential future of science?"

"You know, if we're lucky he or she might have a few more interests in it's life outside of science." Penny mumbled into the quiet room.

Sheldon sighed. "Yes, I do have plans to show them the wonders of Star Trek."

"_Great," _she grumbled.

"I agree."

Penny laughed softly. "That's not what I mean tough, I meant, you know… boy or girl?"

"Oh," he whispered seriously. "I suppose I have pictured it both ways, each time seeing our child, male or female, as the key to the future of science."

"Good Lord," she murmured, pinching his rib just enough to make him squeak underneath of her. "What if he or she isn't smart?"

"Penny," he started again, as if she were barking like a dog.

"Sheldon," she matched his tone all the same, ready to stand her ground. "I'm serious, what if our baby isn't a genius, what if they're just a normal, run of the mill kid who likes playing sports and gets straight B's instead of straight A's?" Methodically, Penny dragged her index finger over the material of his pajamas. "Will you still love them all the same?"

"Were you a straight B student?" Sheldon asked, veering off course.

"Uh," Penny stammered. "Well more like… C's and D's but school was never really my thing."

"My genes really do have their work cut out for them don't they?" Sheldon said with a sigh.

"You know, you used to say I had the attention span of a gnat but you keep going off on your little tangents too. Now answer the question, will you still love them just the same if they aren't a genius like you?"

He was silent for a good thirty seconds, to the point that Penny wondered if he'd fallen asleep.

Finally, he answered. "I would," he said simply and the damn hormones had tears building up in Penny's eyes. "I understand what it is like to have a parent that does not appreciate the person that you are, that wishes the best of which you are did not exist."

"Your dad?" She asked in a soft voice, knowing the answer.

"I would never subjugate my child to that feeling of disappointment." His voice was quiet but his words were strong and Penny had never felt more sure in her life that everything about this pregnancy was right. That it was supposed to be this, she was supposed to be here with this boy and ready to spend her future with him. "However I am still quite confident that our child is—"

"The future of science. Yeah… I know." She finished for him, sniffling just a bit. "I love you, Sheldon." She said airily, cuddling against him more. "I'll move in a bit, okay? I know I'm probably crowding you."

"I do not move in my sleep, Penny. This is acceptable so long as you do not start abusing me in your sleep as a replacement for some kind of outlandish nightmare that plagues most pregnant women."

Penny was already fading into sleep. "Mmm, what if I have a sexy dream?"

"I will adjust accordingly." He answered simply, his own voice drifting. "Happy birthday, Penny."


End file.
